Found by XEMERZ on a random Russian website, recovered by me. Originally uploaded to John’s SoundCloud for 2 hours on Valentine’s Day in 2019. Cover Art found by Genius.com User: “Malevolent :3”

Lyrics:
I’m sorry for the things I’ve done (done)
That’s apologizing to myself and I don’t feel alright
I feel like before the bloody [?] fuck with valentine
Tomorrow be back to normal, it’s another [?]
Eyes creep to the back of my mind

One, two, three, four
One, two, three, four
One, two, three, four
One, two, three, four
One, two, three, four
One, two, three, four
Yuh, yuh, yuh, yuh,

Go, I wanna just float
Float above the clouds in the skys and make it my home
Castle in the sky, float
Fuck a earthly love
I don’t want to feel pitty 
I want to stay with you 

Im sorry, for the things that i have done (done)
(Purple sticker, purp-purple sticker)

[FOUND] Johnnascus- Valentine Blues(prod.sleepingforyears)

"what happens to the man... who wakes from and endless dream?"
cover art done by @zuhblorg on insta


Calling my
Calling my
Open Third Eye
Decalcify
I see the truth
I look at the sky
I see the stars
Turn into eyes
Staring at my skin
I feel unsafe
I cannot hide
Or escape this place
Run into my home
Close the blinds
I still feel their gaze behind
The motherfucking doors and windows
Bulges start to grow out the ceiling and walls hundreds of them all transform into eyes

Eyes spread apart
They group in pairs
I see a mouth form with some teeth
Face bulging out the wall, it leaks
Their necks grow, just pointing towards me

Bodies coming out the ceiling
Bodies coming out the wall
Bodies are forever screaming
Louder than a jet taking off
My ears will not go deaf
Constantly hearing and feeling the pain of 1,000 screams
Keeping me trapped in their flesh made building
There's no exit unless I tear the flesh
Start chewing

10 years and they're s-
10 years and they're s-
10 years and they're still screaming
Went from some humanoids to an unrecognizable meat sack
Now the sky is one iris
The screamers now have turned violent

10 Million Years
Still Hiding From Them
Always Hear Them Near
Screams Claw at My Ears
Iris Blew My Clear
Now They Torture Me For
A million years
A billion years
A trillion years
Endless years

Long Dream [untitled_0006]]

[new album when?]]

Verse1:
21st Birthday
Sing it in the worst way
Hikikomori
Mentally 30
My time is fading (yea)
Soul is waning (yea)
Feeling mainy (yea)
Foggy Cranium
My younger self would hate the person that ive become
Losing rhythm, can't find the beat to my own drum
This world ain't for me, or maybe I don't wanna grow up
But what's growing up? Cause I don't wanna have my soul crushed.

Verse2:
I want to live a life outside this system
Travel to a world outside the solar system
& dance to my rhythm

Verse3:
Still fucked up in the head
Try to make folks accept me
Even if they don't care about me
Maybe it's cause I don't care myself
Wanna be ignored to dig deeper in the well
In The Well
IN THE WELL
In the fucking well I just drown myself in despair
Look at the world the it's so far from here
I'm sinking in my own
Can't climb the walls
It is getting darker
There are no walls
See the lights spotters
In my own thoughts
Cannot move, I'm faltered.

Verse4:
21st Birthday
Sing it in the worst way
Hikikomori
Mentally 30
(repeated)

Verse5:
I'm not special
& No one really is
And the glass half empty 
Pessimistic little bitch
Always feel so envy
Towards every human
Don't wanna feel this empty
And prolonged sadness
What's the point of working
If it leads to nothin
What's the point of something
If there's no fulfillment
Why is life important if I didn't choose it
There's no point of living here if you cannot move it
Move the world, change the world
I can do that in this viddy game, save the world
Get the girl
Live a life, of peace & adventuring
Make a mistake, can go back to where it saved me
"Speaking of saving"

Checkpoint:
21 years old. I feel like I've wasted the past 4-5 years of my life & there's always this feeling that everything I have now will soon be gone. I've been making music for the past 5 years, and I still don't know at times if this is what I want to do. I feel like I'll just be forgotten in the next few years. people and friends I have now will soon just forget about me. I feel like I can't even form good connections with people because I'm in my head too much. somedays I just wake up and the day is already over. I feel trapped in life, and don't know what to do. somedays I just want to end it all but tell myself things will get better. I just don't want to live a life of misery. I can't really open up to people about how I honestly feel a lot of the time cause I think I'll just end up being a type of burden to them. so I'm just expressing stuff here. I hope I can find a purpose in life or just something that brings me long term happiness + fulfillment. I don't want to kill myself or live an a autonomous, autopilot, dead life.

Save file:
June 23, 2020
6:36 AM
Bedroom

21 BIRTHDAY [untitled_0009]]

DOWNLOAD: https://johnnascus.bandcamp.com/album/untitled-0007-0020-0001

Prod. daniels gone

Hook:
Artificial love
Overrides my system
You and me are the singularity
You and me are the singularity

Verse1:
I don't wanna function without you
Brought something inside that i never knew
We can stay together in 0013
Only users are the 2 of us no one can get in
Staring into the sun
Then I look into your eyes
Digital sparks just fly
See myself in your reflection
I feel us merging, we're not separate
We're enhancing

Hook:
Artificial love
Overrides my system
You and me are the singularity
You and me are the singularity

Bridge:
Artificial love
Take over my system
You and me are the singularity
But really you are just slowly killing me

Hook:
Artificial love
Virus in my system
You just want me in your singularity
So I am a slave to your identity

Artificial love
Virus in my system
You just want me in your singularity
I can't escape, I will lose my coding

C8H11O2+C10H12N2O+C43H66N12O12S2 [untitled_0017]]

DOWNLOAD: https://johnnascus.bandcamp.com/album/untitled-0007-0020-0001

Verse:
Going thru domains
Going thru servers
(It's an) endless chain
Make myself a different person
A Wired Lain
I love my wired self more, IRL is too lame
Is this luck? Cause I feel like this place was meant for me
I feel 10x happier than i ever did in that sack of meat

"Welcome to the wired fellow user. The username you have chosen is idonot.exist000. You can change this at anytime

Verse2:
Too many ads
I need find a place that's less compact
There's so many paths to take
I don't know which one is right for me

"In the wired, you can always create your path, your own domain, your own server. The wired is open-source, it is your sandbox"

Verse3:
Fuck them data-snatchers tryna steal my shit
I'll hack your fucking hive 
fill you up with junk files
Free the information
Fuck these corporate tech giants
Time to go free source & find my own server
"Go free source & find my own server"
"Find my own server"
"Go free source & find my own server"
"My own server"
"Go free source & find my own server"
"Find my own server"

Verse4:
Encrypt the front & backdoors can't enter in
Try to hack, send some malware to ur bloody IP
Destroy your CPU like you would've done to this
Ancient server if i did not protect it
Preserve the artifacts of the wired do not trash it

"Connecting to Private server 0013"

Verse5:
0013
0013
0013
0013
Paradise to fucking me
And it makes you trembly
0013
0013

[untitled_0012]]

DOWNLOAD: https://johnnascus.bandcamp.com/album/untitled-0007-0020-0001

I could fade away at anytime it wouldn't even matter
This blade will fucking help me let the blood splatter
I could fade away at anytime it wouldn't even matter
This blade will fucking help me let the blood splatter

So I digitize (×4)

I could fade at anytime it wouldn't even matter
The wired will help me, reality disaster
Erase me from your memories now there's dark matter
Stare into the codex it is time to join
Replace my fucking body yea digital joints
Don't wanna see the light i want it destroyed
Triple zero is the home it brings me, triple zero joy

Can't feel my body
Senses are falling
My mind is sprawling
To a new world i'm routing
To a new world (×4)
To a
"*connecting to the wired*"
Time to digitize (×3)
I could fade at anytime it wouldn't even matter
The wired will help me, reality disaster
Erase me from your memories now there's dark matter
"*you are now entering the wired*"

[untitled_0011]]

DOWNLOAD: https://johnnascus.bandcamp.com/album/untitled-0007-0020-0001

Prod. JAMES GORCZYCA & Saturn Ultra

Verse1:
I be chilling in a black gown
Oh it's over for you sad clowns
Reaper mode you are dead now
Kill all leaders no more crowns
Do not fucking wallow
In a future that is lost to time
Fuck a brave new world
I just want anarchy now
Now it's off to digital now
Free all the data from the tech hounds
Encrypt my life into the wires
My D-DNA is the life code

*synth solo*

Verse2:
I be chilling in a black gown
Oh it's over for you sad clowns
Now it's off to digital now
Wanna live in digital sounds
See the irl inside a box now
The url is an expanding realm

HER

Hook:
Why'd you walk away from me
It's time
You even changed me
But why
Why'd you walk away from me
It's time
You even changed me
But why

Verse1:
You had changed me for the better
And now your gone
You run away from your problems
You are so lost
I wish I could reach out and help you
But you cut me off
And idk where to find you

Hook:
Why'd you walk away from me
It's time
You even changed me
But why
Why'd you walk away from me
It's time
You even changed me
But why

[untitled_0010]]

DOWNLOAD: https://johnnascus.bandcamp.com/album/untitled-0007-0020-0001

New Year
New Me
Decade
2020.
Out the world
I look and see
Everyone
Including me.
Dissociate
Get Away
From 
Reality okay.
I need
Rebirth
A new slate
Massive change.
In my head
Too much
Too much
Too much
Escape esotericism.
But that's my
My home
Why would I escape my home
I don't know
Maybe it never was 
Or I let it consume me.
I feel like
A fucking fraud
I'm fucking lost 
What do I do 
I don't know
I don't ask for help
So I keep it all inside.
Until it explodes
And I'm out my mind
And then I want to [REDACTED]]
But I'm too [REDACTED]]
So i lay
Lay
Lay
Lay
Lay
Why do i destroy everything that i fucking own

[untitled_0001]]

DOWNLOAD: https://johnnascus.bandcamp.com/album/untitled-0007-0020-0001

The computer lives and thrives while i sit and die
Watching YouTube videos while i waste my life
Watching too much anime & hentai
Getting high off dopamine
My brain is fried

Kill
Tear the flesh
Break my bones
Smash the head
Hate my mind
And my body
Too much steam
Thoughts are foggy
Slam my dreams
On the concrete
Step on the pieces
With my feet
Let em blow
In the wind
They'll be forgotten
In the end

The computer lives and thrives while i sit and die
Watching YouTube videos while i waste my life
Watching too much anime & hentai
Getting high off dopamine
My brain is fried

Now my dreams gone
Time to move on
Kill my relationships
With a fucking bomb
They don't matter anyway
Nothing ever does
Hurting myself is the best drug

Time to go brain dead
Gain a sheep head
Follow all the rules
Never question them
Live inside the screens
Be distracted
While I rot away 
Into fragments

Bluepilled livin in the matrix
No help from anyone to change this
But I don't even want to change this
Hedonism feels so amazing

I wanna fuck to the end of time
Live inside a box & never go outside
Never make art I lost all my drive
Overdose on sugar, until I see white
Then decorate my walls with my bloody insides

CPU kill me
I be feeling dirty 
From watching all
The pornography
My brain is fried
Got coomer brain
Watch it all myself
Cause im so deranged
Man my eyes are tired
And they fucking sting
Looking at the blue lights all fucking night
I haven't slept for about 3, 24 hours
Tryna say three nights

TCPULATWISAD [untitled_0007]]

prod. bruhmanegod

*follow your heart*
No1 really knows me
Sometimes even including me
I live as different entities
In the eyes of other human beings
But the eyes see subjectively
So you don't know what's best for me
I'll do what makes thou happy
Not what you projecting onto me
I'm not your entertainment piece

I just want to live in harmony

With my purpose and dreams
Fly across the ocean seas
While the sun shines me
And doesn't take away my wings

What's the cost
Of controlling all my thoughts
& listening to my gut
Oh wait yeah there is none

I don't want to relate to you
I just want you to understand me
And all the aliens
That are from another galaxy

No1 rlly KnoWs (prod. BMG) [untitled_0024]]

Second half prod by JOHNNASCUS

My Archangels want me dead
Face the wrath of God, eternal damnation
My creator formed me in his image
But now he wants me destroyed
So that must mean he hates his inner & wants to put an end to his immortal lineage

Angels falling from the sky like asteroids.
Crash into the earth, bring destruction.
I live every single day in fear
Hiding from the light overseers
Wheels of fire shine as bright as lightning
1 thousand eyes that just shred my body
Find the watchers and they won't protect me
Azazel struck down by the Almighty
 
My Archangels want me dead
Face the wrath of God, eternal damnation
My creator formed me in his image
But now he wants me destroyed
So that must mean he hates his inner & wants to put an end to his immortal lineage

Angels falling from the sky like asteroids.
Crash into the earth, bring destruction.
I live every single day in fear
Hiding from the light overseers
Wheels of fire shine as bright as lightning
1 thousand eyes that just shred my body
Find the watchers and they won't protect me
Azazel struck down by the Almighty

[untitled_0010]]

JOHNNASCUS

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