Christmas comes once a year.  It’s a time of happiness and cheer and it’s also the one day that Uncle Lou gets to use his electric knife
He used to work in a butcher shop and all day long there was meat to chop.
But now he’s an accountant and his life is kind of dull in a mind numbing sort of way.

But when it comes time for Uncle Lou to cut the Christmas ham and turkey
he get’s a wild gleam in his eye
He says don’t worry I’m a professional
I know what I am doing 
as we all try to get out of his way

Uncle Lou’s got the electric knife
And we’re fearing for his life
That poor turkey had no chance
I think I’m gonna wet my pants

We’re afraid that Santa won’t come 
And if he does he’ll turn and run
He’ll take one look Uncle Lou
And his reindeers will be scared too

They say Electric knives have a high injury potential
And losing a finger is very consequential
But Uncle Lou doesn’t seem to care

He’s got the culinary version of a chainsaw in his hand
And he picks it up and he takes command
If he had a hockey mask you’d swear it was Friday the 13th

After a few minutes his job is complete
And then we all sit down to eat
Instead of saying grace we thank God that his fingers have survived for another year

Uncle Lou’s got the electric knife
And we’re  fearing for his life
That poor turkey had no chance
I think I’m gonna wet my pants

We’re afraid that Santa won’t come 
And if he does he’ll turn and run
He’ll take one look Uncle Lou
And his reindeers will be scared too

Uncle Lou's Got the Electric Knife

Songs with a twinge of humor (and some a bit more serious).  My primary focus right now is songwriting (and I enjoy singing the vocals).  I can strum a guitar and play chords on the piano but, I have been leaning heavily on .vst plug ins to try to make them sound as good as they can using Logic Pro 11. 

 It would be nice to go back at some point and add some real instruments.

I just want to say that, if I like a song it means I actually listened to it. 

I welcome your comments and enjoy listening to all the great music on SoundCloud. 
All songs are originals and copyrighted.

Uncle Lou's Got the Electric Knife

Joe Stroffolino