songs i made during hard times

feature by @akiradoves and @joshiguess
mixing and mastering by @spacemenstation
i wanted you beside me tonight i care for you smile on your face i saw you once but i know, i like you now, shawty your smile makes me feel happy, got me in these fashions now, baby girl i want you to know i need you, better off with you than my ex, break her heart but i made a song for you not for her, im a rockstar when i was singing songs for my homies, better off than you than my ex, run away from the past hit the lights im a soul in the skies you know im in the sun, when i feel down i see you smile, it gives me everything now, i'll be here when you're down, i'll hug you i'd beg you to get my heart from this trap, you're my zelda girl, i'll give you the skies hoping for tomorrow i see you again girl in the spaceships with me we could fly high get a chance to see you again baby you're my zelda its a tragic story from the past, but it's the future now (but it's the future now, but it's the future now, but it's the future now)

pass the time, feel so high, fly like butterfly, love you more, hate me more, like you did

Yeah like you did, it’s hit or miss, the way you resist, every word i say, i feel decay in my own brain, wonder if i should stay, can we just be friends, sure we can, but to be honest i’m uncomfortable with future plans, that i had made before we split,  i dont understand why you’d let him hit, i did everything i could this is what you did, i wish that you would just be able to take the hint, but i'll never wanna hate you as you treated me so well, i still want you beside me and i wish that we would hug, but whatever happens always love you i dont give af! (spacemen station tag)

zelda girl w/akiradoves+joshiguess [prod. despairintoashes]

https://soundcloud.com/j0shiguess/convince-myself-nightcore-nxname
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Tryna convince myself I'm not worthless 
Tryna convince myself that I'm worth it
Tryna convince myself she's not perfect
But I know that times have worsened 

I've been going through these days haven't been working
Got all this fame I dont think that I earned it
What's the future for me it's a blur and
I can't see what occurs in the moment
I can't seem to find what's the purpose
X on the spot and I continue searching
Ex on my call and I see the tables turning
Ex on my cock in my dreams that are hurting

Tryna convince myself I'm not worthless 
Tryna convince myself that I'm worth it
Tryna convince myself she's not perfect
But I know that times have worsened 

Feel so tired waking up from these nightmares
Try to stand up strong, baby I'm on a high chair
Feel so high on the swings at the fair
But they didn't check my seatbelt so I could've fell there
Would've fell into a pit but is it what I wanted?
No I wanna stay alive but i keep on thinking twice
Multi-personalities probably not okay,
But I still try to call with my friends every day

convince myself. (nxname)

https://soundcloud.com/joshigues/vacation-nightcore-jxsie-beats

I've been trying my best, but I can't take it
She's been wanting the rest, while she is taken
She's been loving me less, she seems to hate it
Why don't she just take a vacation

She only love me when on anti-depressants
When she's off of them I can't get her attention
Her minds been going in every direction
But you know I can't follow directions
Cause anywhere I go
Can't make it back home
To the place I used to call
Everything and all

Feeling like I'm Autumn now, faded into fall
And I'm feeling like I'm Casperrr, now that I'm a ghost
And I'm feeling like Eternal
Cause I want you to say hello

I've been trying my best, but I can't take it
She's been wanting the rest, while she is taken
She's been loving me less, she seems to hate it
Why don't she just take a vacation

She thinks I'm falling out of love, but I'm just falling out of trust
She thinks it's falling into dust, I wish you knew I give a fuck
Ex-friends coming up to me I know they always fuss
Wanna turn 'em into goldfish, so I can name 'em Hush
Maybe then that'll be the time that they could shut up
I just know I had enough, and know that you have had enough
We can never get enough
In this thing called love

I've been trying my best, but I can't take it
She's been wanting the rest, while she is taken
She's been loving me less, she seems to hate it
Why don't she just take a vacation

visualizer

vacation (jxsie beats)

"if it all goes wrong" is a song released by joshiguess exclusively to the archive. this was not a song he wanted to release officially as all it was was a rant about life in the state he was in at the time. this song is very teen suiciide inspired with the distortion and style.

if it all goes wrong [moucha]

Featuring: @joshiguess & @auby4rc
Written by: Kurama SD, JoshIGuess, & auby
Produced by: moneo 
Mixed by: JoshIGuess & auby
Mastered by: JoshIGuess
Artwork by: Kurama SD

Lyrics:

[Verse 1: Kurama SD]
Farewell to u 
Goodbye to me 
All the things I couldn't be
(I couldn't be)
Passing by in spring 
Strings cut to easy
(Too easy) 
u never needed me
I need time to breathe 
Lost my mind instead 
But I still miss the time we had 

[Chorus: Kurama SD]
I'll miss you
I'm waiting for you still
(Still)
Remember last year
I was crying tears 
So farewell to you
And everyone around here 
Your eyes were beautiful
Like fireworks

[Verse 2: JoshIGuess]
(On the 4th of July)
You had stayed home
We were making out on the couch
Nowadays I just wish you're in the ground
But I found a way to live life 
So I guess it's farewell
They say they don't care 
Well fuck yeah I can tell
Don't got much left to look forward to 
It's just another day 
Where the homies are ignoring you
I'm done with all this drama talk
And everyone Drifting away
(Fuck it I just might move out too)

[Chorus: auby]
I made the bed that i lay in
Please take my hand and say you're staying
If you're gone, I won't get over it
Say farewell to my innocence

I take back the words i said that night
I'm sorry
I'll miss you
don't leave me
I love you
Please hold me

Farewell w/ JoshIGuess & auby (Prod. Moneo)

feat https://soundcloud.com/reapers-shadow

you used to be off the exit now you're far away
and i try to search for others but they never want to stay
and you take away my time from work feel like you reduce my pain
cus you only hit me up when i'm busy sleeping on my breaks

and i fucked up every chance that i got 
with you
and i wish that i could go back to the start
and they always find another
am i better on my own?
it's not easy to forget but i need to work my self control
and when they see me on active they ask why i'm on my phone
if it's no longer your business you should never come and show

i thought i was better off alone
but the more time i spend at home
it feels like every day drowns on forever (forever)
i'll be so grateful once i find you
just want to fall in love with you (fall in love with you)
cus my heart shall belong to you

distance replaces w/ reapers shadow (lickowens)

[mix by @joshiguess x @elena-paisley]
ill be doing this til my last breathe,
doesn't matter if i make the bread,
im just taking the things from my head,
i swear joking was all that you said,
i swear you were all joking bout death,
but now that one's dead ya talk less,
i swear yall put on the stress,
i just hoping that they stayin blessed, 

i was hoping to come in and check,
checking if u were alright,
left me on seen didn't text,
time passes by and i cry,
why would it ever happen,
i pray to god that it wasn't true,
i swear to god if i wasn't attracted,
i wouldn't be feeling so blue,
wondering what i should do,
am i the one that's the target,
i can't be actin all flawless,
cuz you know that there's many you have,
i swear you ain't going out sad,
you need to get over this,
i swear this life is feeling unlucky,
need a four leaf clover bitch,
this life is about success,
it's not about being the richest,
i swear i want the hugs and the kisses,
quarantine making me miss it,
like the suicide death of effect,
that it's taken on this toll of world,
when you seem to have lost a best friend,
no one can replace that girl,
i hope that she's good in another world,
hoping she's not in the underworld,
it's something i couldn't control,
it's a pleasure of guilt that i hold,
and that maybe i shouldn't have told,
i swear life has been getting more cold,
only warmth is from your computer,
why you feel like you're such a loser, yea

i swear that i cant do this anymore

Stop Joking Bout Death (MaxoKoolin, Wendelstyzer, Topo)

You may think that I hate you, but that just isn't it,
it's rightful that you blamed me i committed a sin,
and im asking for forgiveness, but i never could win,
i swear i didn't want us all living all in pretend,
but lets face it, you know i couldn't make it, every time
i'm uncomfortable with basics, and i knew i couldn't handle
 datin,  i never wanted to but with you feel i made it,

and i didn't wanna ruin reputations, i swear sometimes i hope this life is 
simulation cuz i don't want it to be true, when you livin with this on you, what you got? you got friends
who weren't really there that constantly remind you and you're staying from your distance and realizing
you're a fool, frickin loser in the pull, ain't doing things in school, for the past few years every time 
you've fallen off, and you've stayed inside your room because you fear of the outside, cuz the public probably hates
you now, im blessed with quarantine cause i do not need to be seen, cuz i swear i make it miserable for any other being
and there's people that will love you but how long will that last, want another future but im stuck inside my past
gotta fix myself up
 right now
(right now)

I swear there's a lot I could change from,
I can focus on myself now that it's done,
But when I feel like nothing what is there to take on,
I swear I always try to make my life more fun,
With you I felt complete I couldn't lose you, 
But it's rightful that you decided to lose me,
I swear if everyone be trying to expose me,
And I can't help but face the facts, but can't control me

(control me, wish you could be here and hold me, i know thats not a possibility anymore)

All My Fault

All My Fault (Capsctrl + Eddie B)

https://songwhip.com/joshiguess/shouldve-known-better
this was a one take, straight from the heart..
i should've treated you better, now it's just rainy weather, can't maintain self control, my heart's been getting cold, you really understood me, why
cant i understand you, i tried my best to handle, put myself in your sandals, here i go light the candle, i swear you were correct, can't get it out
my head, that you tried protecting, you saved me from ending, all that i could have been, wstill wish i was ur friend, i didn't need more or less,

i should've just known better, this is a homage letter, thought we would be together, longer than i'd remember, now we're both in our leisure, but my minds
like propellors, its going round in circles, trying to pass the hurdles, of those that criticize me, they want to hypnotize me, into thinking difference,
wish she was here to save me, at least i have her mittens, she was the perfect lady, i didn't treat her fairly, i really should have did, cuz lately i really 
miss, not just a simple kiss, just need to receive more comfort, didn't wanna make her heart hurt, i didn't respect her space, but to come back too late,
she'll never want me back, enemies love that im sad, they try to make fun of me, say im not improving, do they remember me, swear they obsess with me,
since they still message me, they keep on gossiping, keep my name out your mouth, you only give more clout to, a person that always doubts who, he could really
be, needs someone there for him, i can't say that i am nothing, cuz i know that i mean something, but im missing a part of me, the loving type energy, the norms
of a human being

Should've Known Better

set myself up for failure (rx808)

new album out now
tour tickets: https://ffm.bio/joshiguess