Payload (snippet)

i hate it here, but if u support me i love u sm.
v v v
i dont see my worth
i dont really see my worth
tell me what my worth is
tell me what my worth is
tell me what my worth is, baby im just clueless
mom said "look how far that you've come"
but frankly ion see no one 
when i look inside the mirror, shit i just wanna run
cause i aint proud of who i am or what ive become
might as well throw my whole life away
try to get better 
but my souls fucking tethered
and im always fuckin caught up 
in the god damn weather
needa get a job 
but my phones always vibrating
people hit my line 
for some good fuckin vibrations
mom said "look how far that you've come"
but frankly ion see no one 
when i look inside the mirror, shit i just wanna run
cause i aint proud of who i am or what ive become
might as well throw my whole life away 
emptychest <3
try to get better 
but my souls fucking tethered
and im always fuckin caught up 
in the god damn weather
needa get a job 
but my phones always vibrating
people hit my line 
for some good fuckin vibrations
(needa get a job but i..)
(always hit my line for me..)
(ur fine for me..)
well i dont..
i dont see my worth
i dont really see my worth
tell me what my worth is
tell me what my worth..
tell me what my worth is, baby im just clueless
mom said "look how far that you've come"
but frankly ion see no one 
when i look inside the mirror, shit i just wanna run
cause i aint proud of who i am or what ive become
might as well throw my whole life away
try to get better 
but my souls fucking tethered
and im always fuckin caught up 
in the god damn weather
needa get a job 
but my phones always vibrating
people hit my line 
for some good fuckin vibrations
mom said "look how far that you've come"
but frankly ion see no one 
when i look inside the mirror, shit i just wanna run
cause i aint proud of who i am or what ive become
might as well throw my whole life away..


it hurts so much to be here <3

what ive become (noxiousnights x jolst)

Prod @Sinxi

Lyrics

What do you need from me love?
Afraid of the things ya feeling
Can't describe all ya helpless reaching
What do you need from me love?

What do you need from me love?
Afraid of the things ya feeling
Can't describe all ya helpless reaching
What do you need from me love?

Got you on ya side but ya stomach still hurting
Tried to stay long but you're to uncertain
Everything you say to me you hate
I can feel the evil from ya face
They say you said things from the start
You never loved me at a cost
Everyday you played it fucking safe
Can't trust nobody thats a fake

What do you need from me love?
Afraid of the things ya feeling
Can't describe all ya helpless reaching
What do you need from me love?

Wrapped around her web
She eat me alive if she can
She don't control the way she hates me
Swear she bleeds the way she angry
I cant ever seem to forget

What do you need from me love?
What do you need from me love?

Spotify

WHAT DO YOU NEED

ugly (prod siemspark x xmichaelwarren)

prod: caves x irby
mix/master: Anxiety Attacks!
music.anxietyattacksmusic.com/suddenly

LYRICS:
I just wanna freeze my brain
I need some time alone
The stars fade into the sunrise

I wake up and then suddenly
I feel the weight on every part of me
Hey dad I hope you're proud of me
For tryna be what I was meant to be
The kid is alright
You know I made a few friends and now I hold tight
I had to learn it for myself how to move on
Once they're gone

Just wanna feel something like I did last night
I never doubt myself till I see the sun rise
I shouldn't think too much, but I do it sometimes
But I just play it off like it's nothing
Running in circles every night, I just wanna find my way

I wake up and then suddenly
I feel the weight on every part of me
Hey dad I hope you're proud of me
For tryna be what I was meant to be
The kid is alright
You know I made a few friends and now I hold tight
I had to learn it for myself how to move on
Once they're gone

Other Streaming <3

Suddenly [prod. caves x irby]

spent a day in the city (in the city)
boys on the street near the park just singing (just singing)
made a little money i just made regrets (just fell through)
told you i was sorry cause i'm not there yet (i could take it still)
drinking on the train, looking back so dumb
sorry means a little when it's said so much (We don't feel the same things yet)
sleep as a concept, i don't really act out (We don't feel the same)
drugs in a backpack, probably like a band now, i just

try not to overstate it
all been so complicated
day turns to night, just breaking
light on my body aching
lay down in foreign places
noticing what it's taking
i wake up slowly in the black
i thought i'd learn to hate it

follow lights down the coast
in the dreams that you had
i just got in the way
fuck i think i'm slipping back
i start to decay from the waist down
face it, we could never fix what we break now
holding the exit in my hand
fuck i think i'm slipping back

holding on a feeling i might die soon
cause i met everybody that i want to
and maybe did a little that i'm proud of
but man this head's just so hard to get out of
holding onto mornings with the old you
fucking catatonic in my old room
and i hope you don't blame yourself cause baby
it's not like someone else could ever save me

try not to overstate it
all been so complicated
day turns to night, just breaking
light on my body aching
lay down in foreign places
noticing what it's taking
i wake up slowly in the black
i thought i'd learn to hate it

Bay Harbour

lyrics

when atleast 1 don’t want the best for each other 
but words and what was taught keep them under
the wings that once brought close the lost souls in to cover
now cause more hurt but he still calls her his lover

as she falls back in to a state of sleep paralysis 
he crawls back in to her mind in hopes it’s healed to bliss
but these dynamics bring out the worst of what we call our flesh
the dreams mixed with torn down aura bring out masochistics

i don’t wanna see u cry no more she tells him sweetly
but i saw you tagged along you were moving way too freely
he’s hers to keep there’s no going 2 ways bout it
2 similar acts but if one does it then the others astounded

she needs it, craves it it’s all that she could know
perspectives can’t be seen if your own is broke 
he understands and for that reason he finds a way to cope
suffocating every moment in her presence, he can’t grow

and sure he cares, but he’s unaware of the damage that will construe 
blinded by his weakness, not every man can tell that truth
but there’s a darkness 
lense tinged with slight grey and blue 
it’s painted red in her eyesight
there’s no escaping her view

plenty years under the belt and if youd check youd see the signs
victims known to slump, no problem plucking out the spine
youll say its fine theres time I guess the aftermath is quiet
but then shell lie still in your eyes theres nothing more divine

she lies

she lies. (jolst x splashgvng)

feat. https://soundcloud.com/ihateshinigami
prod https://soundcloud.com/1wayza
pic taken outside of @screwyounick first show
https://open.spotify.com/track/3FbODgk1VXlMKjrG9O6S09?si=80b008bca4214fea

Yeah
You know it's JoshIGuess
And we do it once again yeah 

Wake up in the morning and I reset the power
Cus I want it all different I can pass all the hours 
Taking elevators to the top of the towers 
Putting dirt on my name bitch I gotta scour

Bitch I gotta scour
My connection so lost like I unplugged my router
If you coming to my shows well here's a fucking voucher
I'ma break the fourth wall like it's fucking chowder


Drift in my whip but it ain't no joycon 
Staying all alone all these bitches wanna boycott
When I finna blow up you know ima put my boys on
And I gotta make a name on this world I deployed on

Tryna take my shit but all you ever attempt is from my pocket
It don't make no sense when everything is out my digital wallet
And whether you hate this shit or not 
I want the truth I would rather hear honest
Bet you never expected this from someone always staying modest

Wake up in the morning and I reset the power
Cus I want it all different I can pass all the hours
Taking elevators to the top of the towers
Putting dirt on my name bitch I gotta scour

Bitch I gotta scour
My connection so lost like I unplugged my router
If you coming to my shows well here's a fucking voucher
I'ma break the fourth wall like it's fucking chowder

Staying ground I can't be a coward
Chasing bags getting racks by the hour
Smoking sour good flower
I don't want an upper need a downer
Gave a fuck tho up every day so what
You so fucking frail why the fuck you acting tough
I was in the lunch line only had a couple bucks
Now I don't give a fuck get the check and throw it up

Throw it up yeah yeah throw it up
Throw it up yeah yeah throw it up
Throw it up yeah yeah throw it up
Throw it up yeah yeah throw it up

Wake up in the morning and I reset the power
Cus I want it all different I can pass all the hours
Taking elevators to the top of the towers
Putting dirt on my name bitch I gotta scour

Bitch I gotta scour
My connection so lost like I unplugged my router
If you coming to my shows well here's a fucking voucher
I'ma break the fourth wall like it's fucking chowder

I'm a beast spitting fire and I'm feeling like I'm Bowser
It's an alternate reality I'm feeling like the Prowler
Your girl hit me up while I'm tryna take a shower
And you better watch out she wanna take off my trousers

throw it up! w/ shinigami (wayza)

the more i bleed
the more i think of you
all it takes
for sense to come into
 
on that walk home theres no one to save me
theres noting left to do
in fall on morrision drive
i saw it look me dead in the eye

*i chose you
i was meant too
decieve you
not fear you
you fear me
and see me
when you sleep

why wont you get away
get me taking meds for my brain
to numb whats left of my senses
intense disaster refacting

it looked me dead in the eye
and yeah it made me cry
it looked me dead in the eye
i lost which way i was going
it looked me dead in the eye
dead by morning

to this day it chills me to the bone
how i never made it home
taken all control

Dead in the eye (prod. recyclebin)

what im on (prod bbuggin)

Lose Myself

Show In Sac Pre-Sale ($10 Tickets) save asap
https://linktr.ee/oct17smash