i hate it here, but if u support me i love u sm.
v v v
i dont see my worth
i dont really see my worth
tell me what my worth is
tell me what my worth is
tell me what my worth is, baby im just clueless
mom said "look how far that you've come"
but frankly ion see no one 
when i look inside the mirror, shit i just wanna run
cause i aint proud of who i am or what ive become
might as well throw my whole life away
try to get better 
but my souls fucking tethered
and im always fuckin caught up 
in the god damn weather
needa get a job 
but my phones always vibrating
people hit my line 
for some good fuckin vibrations
mom said "look how far that you've come"
but frankly ion see no one 
when i look inside the mirror, shit i just wanna run
cause i aint proud of who i am or what ive become
might as well throw my whole life away 
emptychest <3
try to get better 
but my souls fucking tethered
and im always fuckin caught up 
in the god damn weather
needa get a job 
but my phones always vibrating
people hit my line 
for some good fuckin vibrations
(needa get a job but i..)
(always hit my line for me..)
(ur fine for me..)
well i dont..
i dont see my worth
i dont really see my worth
tell me what my worth is
tell me what my worth..
tell me what my worth is, baby im just clueless
mom said "look how far that you've come"
but frankly ion see no one 
when i look inside the mirror, shit i just wanna run
cause i aint proud of who i am or what ive become
might as well throw my whole life away
try to get better 
but my souls fucking tethered
and im always fuckin caught up 
in the god damn weather
needa get a job 
but my phones always vibrating
people hit my line 
for some good fuckin vibrations
mom said "look how far that you've come"
but frankly ion see no one 
when i look inside the mirror, shit i just wanna run
cause i aint proud of who i am or what ive become
might as well throw my whole life away..


it hurts so much to be here <3

what ive become (noxiousnights x jolst)

ugly (prod siemspark x xmichaelwarren)

prod: caves x irby
mix/master: Anxiety Attacks!
music.anxietyattacksmusic.com/suddenly

LYRICS:
I just wanna freeze my brain
I need some time alone
The stars fade into the sunrise

I wake up and then suddenly
I feel the weight on every part of me
Hey dad I hope you're proud of me
For tryna be what I was meant to be
The kid is alright
You know I made a few friends and now I hold tight
I had to learn it for myself how to move on
Once they're gone

Just wanna feel something like I did last night
I never doubt myself till I see the sun rise
I shouldn't think too much, but I do it sometimes
But I just play it off like it's nothing
Running in circles every night, I just wanna find my way

I wake up and then suddenly
I feel the weight on every part of me
Hey dad I hope you're proud of me
For tryna be what I was meant to be
The kid is alright
You know I made a few friends and now I hold tight
I had to learn it for myself how to move on
Once they're gone

Other Streaming <3

Suddenly [prod. caves x irby]

lyrics

when atleast 1 don’t want the best for each other 
but words and what was taught keep them under
the wings that once brought close the lost souls in to cover
now cause more hurt but he still calls her his lover

as she falls back in to a state of sleep paralysis 
he crawls back in to her mind in hopes it’s healed to bliss
but these dynamics bring out the worst of what we call our flesh
the dreams mixed with torn down aura bring out masochistics

i don’t wanna see u cry no more she tells him sweetly
but i saw you tagged along you were moving way too freely
he’s hers to keep there’s no going 2 ways bout it
2 similar acts but if one does it then the others astounded

she needs it, craves it it’s all that she could know
perspectives can’t be seen if your own is broke 
he understands and for that reason he finds a way to cope
suffocating every moment in her presence, he can’t grow

and sure he cares, but he’s unaware of the damage that will construe 
blinded by his weakness, not every man can tell that truth
but there’s a darkness 
lense tinged with slight grey and blue 
it’s painted red in her eyesight
there’s no escaping her view

plenty years under the belt and if youd check youd see the signs
victims known to slump, no problem plucking out the spine
youll say its fine theres time I guess the aftermath is quiet
but then shell lie still in your eyes theres nothing more divine

she lies

she lies. (jolst)

feat. https://soundcloud.com/ihateshinigami
prod https://soundcloud.com/1wayza
pic taken outside of @screwyounick first show
https://open.spotify.com/track/3FbODgk1VXlMKjrG9O6S09?si=80b008bca4214fea

Yeah
You know it's JoshIGuess
And we do it once again yeah 

Wake up in the morning and I reset the power
Cus I want it all different I can pass all the hours 
Taking elevators to the top of the towers 
Putting dirt on my name bitch I gotta scour

Bitch I gotta scour
My connection so lost like I unplugged my router
If you coming to my shows well here's a fucking voucher
I'ma break the fourth wall like it's fucking chowder


Drift in my whip but it ain't no joycon 
Staying all alone all these bitches wanna boycott
When I finna blow up you know ima put my boys on
And I gotta make a name on this world I deployed on

Tryna take my shit but all you ever attempt is from my pocket
It don't make no sense when everything is out my digital wallet
And whether you hate this shit or not 
I want the truth I would rather hear honest
Bet you never expected this from someone always staying modest

Wake up in the morning and I reset the power
Cus I want it all different I can pass all the hours
Taking elevators to the top of the towers
Putting dirt on my name bitch I gotta scour

Bitch I gotta scour
My connection so lost like I unplugged my router
If you coming to my shows well here's a fucking voucher
I'ma break the fourth wall like it's fucking chowder

Staying ground I can't be a coward
Chasing bags getting racks by the hour
Smoking sour good flower
I don't want an upper need a downer
Gave a fuck tho up every day so what
You so fucking frail why the fuck you acting tough
I was in the lunch line only had a couple bucks
Now I don't give a fuck get the check and throw it up

Throw it up yeah yeah throw it up
Throw it up yeah yeah throw it up
Throw it up yeah yeah throw it up
Throw it up yeah yeah throw it up

Wake up in the morning and I reset the power
Cus I want it all different I can pass all the hours
Taking elevators to the top of the towers
Putting dirt on my name bitch I gotta scour

Bitch I gotta scour
My connection so lost like I unplugged my router
If you coming to my shows well here's a fucking voucher
I'ma break the fourth wall like it's fucking chowder

I'm a beast spitting fire and I'm feeling like I'm Bowser
It's an alternate reality I'm feeling like the Prowler
Your girl hit me up while I'm tryna take a shower
And you better watch out she wanna take off my trousers

throw it up! w/ shinigami (wayza)

mix the pills with all the weed i feel so mental
with all this weight, upon my back, it’s monumental 
i feel hysteria, it’s fundamental
my lungs tearing up, i need settle 

chaos in totality
nothing in reality 
left me here in suffering 
left with no morality 
i been here since nearly three
and i’m just taking everything 
hoping i’ll find something 
to help me with my anxiety 

don’t you help me up 
when i’m down, i’m stuck  
in a place i’m numb 
from the lack of touch 

somewhere else inside my notes i escape
my lyrics jot down tryna take my place
rather not socialize i go to my own space
i just hate everyone they’re only tryna take

(2x)
don’t you help me up 
when i’m down, i’m stuck  
in a place i’m numb 
from the lack of touch

touch (CRCL)

incredible production by @prodbysxda

lyrics

surprising everything inside my fucking chest
she got all it on with her hands wrapped around my neck
not learning any lessons how i'm ignoring these threats
its so fucking ruthless inside this town its almost dead

i'm tryna set sail but I'm long grip and its starting to rust here
I exhale and open arms
but in the mirror I cant tell

don't come close to me
im surrounded by this rat hell
I dont wanna lose u baby girl
its just my heart kills

wish it was an odyssey how it goes dark then it turns light
but i'm out in these crashing waves and i'm holding on for dear life
I'm jus saying got my wrist wet and i'm not talking ice
im losing my grip but im holding my knife

flicking thru the memories and tryna the cause
this is how it turned out i'm not fucking around with god
who tf is u
I tell myself when I am lost
forget about those pretty nights that we had omg

why u always coming late?
but who's that in the parking lot
I just fucked my brain again
coz' I can not control my thoughts
and i'm losing my faith again
baby im, im losing my breath inside this fucking wooden box