self-prod

Praying that it's temporary, 
I don't want obituary, 
But this life is hella scary, 
I been cold since february. 
Can't you see im hailing Mary?
I don't want this shit to tear me, 
I been hanging on but barely, 
I don't see this life too fairly. 
Uh, 
I had to grow up,
Without a damn figure. 
Yeah we look good, 
But that shit is a picture, 
Real life is different, 
You'd know if you lived her. 
I'm hanging on by the skin of my blister. 
The cysts are not worth it, 
Wondering how I deserve it, 
I was just born to curse and, 
I'm only a person. 
This shit just like Donda to me, 
There was no father to me. 
And no he ain't dead, 
But he act like it something to be. 
If I had the courage, 
I'd smack him so hard that he's losing his teeth, 
But it wouldn't be worth it he's already hurting, 
And he can't afford surgery. 

If I had to spit on this shit everyday of the week, 
Then I know that I'd do it. 
I always feel useless like ripping the tulips, 
Inside of a garden when I knew I grew it. 
But I keep it moving like something is proving, 
When it's time consuming I'm fearing the doom of the fact that I knew it I'm clueless and the bruise is excusing the things that I'm doing. 
The things that I'm doing. 

But shit I'm still back, 
I cannot relax, 
Making three albums, 
A month and it's sad. 
It never works, 
And it only gets worse, 
And I'm fixing the mixing, 
It ruins the verse. 
Look at my past, 
And just like my dad, 
I'll never change it, 
I'm feeling too bad. 
Stuck in the dirt, 
I'm ignoring your words, 
And I cover my ears, 
Cause the things that I heard. 
I gotta go now, 
I cannot slow down. 
No time for thinking, 
I work way too much, 
Just to put it on soundcloud. 
Live like a ghost town, 
Alone with a whole crowd. 
I'm never lonely, 
But all on my only, 
I swear that I'm locked out. 

Is this what you wanted, 
I keep it a hunnid, 
The truth is I'm nothing, 
But wannabe something, 
But I end up running, 
Off cliff and I'm jumping, 
To hell without thinking, 
I feel like I'm cutting,
Off all of my socials, 
People I'm close to, 
I don't want loneliness, 
I wanna hold you, 
But look I just told you, 
All that I wrote you, 
Is deeper than love, 
It's the person I mold to.

Temporary

digging my own grave (splashgvng/Irby)

giving my all still wasnt enough,
-+- mix & master, lyrics by me
prod. idly blare -+-
(lyrics)
i been lost again
these thoughts theyre freezing my brain
and the mirror is a portal to take me away
are you gone again?
always when i need you the most
can i call a friend?
or will they all be gone now

what did it really mean?
when you left here from my life,
why is this happening?
tearing me from the inside.
can we restart again?
oh how ive messed up this time
was that my final chance?
i guess youre gone for good now.

and now youre gone for good,
always thought that i am the worst
and its been killing me,
when you speak bad to your friends
i am sorry,
i was never the best
i was trying hard,
i really gave you my all.

made 7/7/2022

what did it really mean anyway (idly blare)

self-prod

I got me and a bag and, 
I spit like a dragon, 
When I break her back in, 
She calling me daddy, 
I feel like a father, 
But I got no daughter, 
She get on her knees, 
And I told her to swallow, 
I feel like I'm Waldo, 
Cause y'all gotta find me, 
Look to the front, 
Cause you bitches behind me, 
I got some labels, 
And they tryna sign me, 
I made my own, 
Now they say they don't like me. 
Feel like a Prince, 
Cause I'm getting these royalties, 
I'm on the fence, 
With my bitch and my loyalty, 
Put my dog in the pen, 
And I'm breaking him out. 
He'll bite on a bitch, 
Like he foam from the mouth. 
Homie so crazy, 
I swear he got rabies, 
I got me a baby, 
But don't want a baby, 
I feel like I'm 80, 
This flow getting old, 
Im getting hotter, 
The world getting cold.

Ay ay, 
Who's crizzy, 
I been the one, 
Who been taking your bitty, 
I been the one, 
Who been played in your city, 
Bitch I'm the one, 
Who been making the fifties. 
Stacking the Benjamin's, 
Got some dead presidents, 
Pull up with straps, 
And I fuck up your residence, 
You got some relevance, 
Never had resonance, 
Nothing had stuck to the wall, 
You ain't selling it. 
Huh huh, 
That's what I'm telling em, 
I got some hundreds, 
And more just to relish it, 
Flow is so sick, 
But I been downing medicine, 
Smart like I'm Edison, 
Biggest in room like an elephant, 
Heaven sent flow, 
But the voice is so devilish, 
When will I blow, 
I don't know there's no telling it. 
But I know one day, 
That I'm gonna be telling 'em. 
Send me a milly if you want the track, 
If you want the mix then I'm doubling that, 
Sending opens I won't send em back, 
Unless I'm seeing thousands atop of my lap. 
Get em addicted like crack, 
Shoot in they veins like it's smack, 
Shooting me dms like strap, 
I got some more but you can't get attached. 
I got a red dot, 
Only attachment. 
Shut the fuck up, 
If you want in my mattress. 
I'm burning tracks, 
But I ran out of matches. 
Carry the tracks, 
And I treat em like matches. 
Try to be me, 
But there couldn't be matches. 
Clothes never matching, 
Still flex the jacket. 
I got the woods, 
So you know that I pack it. 
Pray for the scene, 
Cause I'm holding em captive. 

Pray for the scene, 
I'm on a streak. 
Killing so many, 
I got UAVs, 
And I got a Hammr, 
To spray on the beats. 
I'm staying strapped,
Like a DSR, 
I'm shooting shells, 
Like it's Mario kart. 
No hyperpop, 
I ain't seeing em spark. 
I shoot my shots all black, 
In the dark. 
I ain't a killer, 
But trust I got killers. 
I don't write filler, 
But still I could fill her. 
She let me stroke in her pool, 
Like a billard. 
I'm standing tall in that pussy, 
Like pillar. 
Feeling like yachty, 
I'm swimming in women, 
And I got a shawty, 
Who playing the villain. 
I'm calling up Hero, 
And we start the sinning. 
We killing you bitches with smiles, 
We grinning.

PRAY 4 THE SCENE

pass me by ft.lil waste (bryan he)

Main Artists: lil XipZ x Crizzy White x epitomeoffailure
Production: lil XipZ
Mixing: lil XipZ x Crizzy White x epitomeoffailure
Mastering: lil XipZ
Cover Art: SCAR$
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
LYRICS:

[Verse 1: lil XipZ]
it feels like im wasting all my time
i just wanna waste my time with you

i just wanna spend my time getting high
i just wanna spend my time high with you

cuz we were on your rooftop
while your dad was pissed off 
at us for fucking in his room
looking at my time watch 
i said we should take a walk 
on the dark side of the moon 

its so cold outside
but with your hand on mine, im fine
i always miss you at night
but when I wake up, im alright

[Verse 2: Crizzy White]
Told her to hit up my line, 
Mixing this shit with my sprite, 
Babe you're afraid don't you bite, 
I'm doing the shit that I like. 
Hitting me up waste my time, 
And I like it. 
If I die with you, 
Then I'll die when I'm smiling. 
Vibing don't matter the timing I know. 
Slide in I don't got time for the hoes. 
She love that I'm nerdy, 
And flirty, 
I'm with it tho. 
Feeling like Seejay cause I keep a thirty, 
I'm adding a ten for the scope. 
Shit when I flex, 
You shake head, 
And you cringe but you're laughing though. 
You think I'm goofy, 
Live like a movie. 
I been maxed out, 
While I'm chasing the Ruby. 
Send me your boobies, 
Need me a nudie. 
I'll fuck you good with a camera, 
Like shoot me. 
Pop. 
Making my jaw drop. 
I'm coming quick, 
Like I'm short stop. 
Playing the field, 
Till my lungs drop. 
Running these bases, 
With you, 
I'm on top. 
Hitting a homer, 
Baby come over. 
I'm tryna fuck you, 
Cause I have a boner. 
Wasting my time, 
If I'm spending it sober, 
I'm craving you, 
With your head on my shoulder.

[Verse 3: epitomeoffailure]
looking through the glass all i can see
is your eyes shining with misery
trapped in a state of codependency 
you’ll soon see there’s nothing left of me
i’ve fallen off a cliff and my life is a disaster 
i know my life is shit so i’ll beg to die faster
i’ve never wanted to end it so bad
more than right now i’m so fucking sick of wearing a mask
personality detached 
from who i am… or who i once was
this pain just takes and that’s all it does
now, i’m left with no where to go 
and no one to call a home

xipz x Crizzy White x epitomeoffailure - Waste Our Time Together

beat made by https://soundcloud.com/boyfifty and  Chvrlie Brown

boyfifty's yt: https://www.youtube.com/c/boyfifty


/lyrics/

Friday night on the couch and I'm slumped
in the night from the attic i hear thumps
charred skin stay away from the sun
lock the doors dont speak to anyone

and you left this place
now i drown in pain
my heads not the same
it won't ever fucking be again
id gladly have another fucking argument
without you here im just not myself
and it scares me

how could you ever love me
when i don't even love myself
won't you touch me
slow my heartbeat
need to tell you
I'm so sorry

i can't say enough girl I'm sorry i love you
i tried not to miss you but i can still see you
when i shut my eyes yours are right there to pierce me 
another evening I'm sat by a screen

passing the time and i just want to scream
awake for days i don't want to sleep
it's gone to the point where I'm scared to dream
let me be

Friday night on the couch and I'm slumped
in the night from the attic i hear thumps
charred skin stay away from the sun
lock the doors dont speak to anyone

and you left this place
now i drown in pain
my heads not the same
it won't ever fucking be again


I miss you (Boyfifty x Chvrlie Brown)

your best is all you can do, keep trying

produced by eeryskies

cover art by Kensy Rose

LYRICS:
my words have never meant as much
as when i didn’t say them
swallowed comfort to abstain my thoughts when crying bout your heritage 
west virginia’s been a prison
locked between the maples and the
option to embrace forgiveness
from the ones you wish to love

i saw the signs, early on
tired of your monthly visits from the ghosts within the sticks
and darling
i know you’re exhausted and know time keeps moving on
from every time you heard your younger self in those old songs

and she said heal
try your best i know it’s hard
she said heal
it’s time for you to move along

every scene you acted out
i sat in the audience
watching youthful tragedy
translated to indifference
if my shaky hands could be the vessel for your soul
i’d never shake again to keep your spirit from the cold

so baby heal
no matter where you are
try to heal
remember who you are

heal [prod. eeryskies]

Im Not Ok

Wasted

MOG - Dark Cards

Alternative musician in St. Paul, MN  

you’re never alone in life 

instagram- kcchalk_