produced by yungspoiler

lyrics:

this feeling's fadin'
and i'm bleedin'
i fall asleep to the changing of the seasons
if only i could love myself
for who i am, not someone else
i've been waiting
and decaying
inside this world i've conjured
i just wish the time would slow
'cause i feel like i'm fading fast

wasting away at the sight of the sun
change scares the daylight out of me
wonder when i'll find out who i'll become
i always fall apart
so i'll stay right here with nothing to do
tearing apart the soles of my shoes
'cause i know i got so much to prove

so i'll save myself from embarrassment
say all the things i never want to admit
'cause i can just sing it on another song
write down all the things i never did wrong
i don't know where i went wrong
i don't know where i went wrong

wasting away at the sight of the sun
change scares the daylight out of me
wonder when i'll find out who i'll become
i always fall apart
so i'll stay right here with nothing to do
tearing apart the soles of my shoes
'cause i know i got so much to prove

sight of the sun (prod. yungspoiler)

produced by zoltar

lyrics:

(so weak, limb to limb)

would you hate to be so weak?
would it tear you up limb to limb?
has it ever occurred to you
that i'm lost at the beginning, no?

yeah i'mma gossip with god
talk shit about everyone
while you smile and wave and just nod
you think you're special but you're really not
carbon copy all my better thoughts
leeches fiendin' for the special sauce
'cause they know that zoltar always got a lot

just need a good enough reason to off myself
and if not me, then it's gonna be someone else
'cause i can't take this shit
no i can't play pretend
the more i hide it, the more i fight it
i cannot win
anxiety's gonna fuck me up
my gut burns from blowin' chunks
everybody wanna take off my head
everybody benefits when i'm dead
i'm so unlovable down to my core
just need a reason to fight in this war
i cannot handle the stress and the pressure
from everyone i can't ignore

now my stomach is tied in a knot
i wanna puke it up
force this demon out of my gut
but it don't work like that
can't fix what is abstract
'cause nothing's guaranteed
control how you react

would you hate to be so weak?
would it tear you up limb to limb?
has it ever occurred to you
that i'm lost at the beginning, no?

petrichor

produced by zoltar

lyrics:

yeah you were lying when you said we were friends
and I was under the pretense that under no circumstance
would you cut off all of the people that tried to understand
all of your problems and your jokes that just never seem to land

and i don't wanna be your friend 'cause i got better
set standards for myself so maybe i'd forget her
started taking care of my body, but it's whatever
if i'd have known that it'd be this way, i'd have left her
and all you ever asked of me was practice basic empathy
but i can't ever do that when you're staring daggers back at me
i rarely ever talk to my friends
they all left when they had a chance
just to meet the means to an end
man, i wanna see them again

but you left, but you left, but you left me
but you get, but you get, but you get me
and this hole is never fuckin ending
so fuck it, i'm leaving, it's upsetting
and now you call me a friend
and i don't want that to change
but you're still going away
I just don't know if i can handle
seeing you out there
i hope that you're alright

yeah you were lying when you said we were friends
and I was under the pretense that under no circumstance
would you cut off all of the people that tried to understand
all of your problems and your jokes that just never seem to land

and i don't wanna be your friend 'cause i got better
set standards for myself so maybe i'd forget her
started taking care of my body, but it's whatever
if i'd have known that it'd be this way, i'd have left her
and all you ever asked of me was practice basic empathy
but i can't ever do that when you're staring daggers back at me
i rarely ever talk to my friends
they all left when they had a chance
just to meet the means to an end
man, i wanna see them again

coup de grâce

produced by zoltar

lyrics:

you swore to me that you'd never feel again
you wear you heart on your sleeve like nobody's watching
i remember all the nights you fell asleep
so i know for a fact that you felt at peace

and i don't wanna waste my time just living in fear
waiting for the right time to just disappear
and when you pour your heart out, does anyone even care?
'cause i know how that feels
you just swallow the pill
and i can't lie, it kinda sucks
when your friends move away but you're still stuck
in this town, no way out

I feel it in my guts
just like a stick in mud
i thought i told you once
my brain has so much rust

[oh my fucking god]

but you didn't hate me way back then
yeah you were in it for safety,
you're not my friend
ballin' off of paychecks, say less, i'm upward
fallin' off the pages, i say shit, i stutter

using pens in hopes that i could sleep
but you were always someone that i need
yeah you always found me in this town
yeah you always found me in this
this town, no way out

overstimulated

lyrics:

i think i told you right before that you left
that i would always be here for you 
and i wish you the best
but now a month has passed
there's so much more that i would've said
had i known that you were struggling
to get out of bed

man i miss you and i think about you everyday
i hate that you were goin through it, nothin' held you in place
all the memories we shared, sealed in time and space
they'll forever keep me grateful that i knew your name
the way you left this planet fucked me up for a bit
and all the people at your service couldn't handle it
you were 21 years old, you were just a kid
and i know everyone loved you 'cause love was all you did

it was all you did

i had a dream that we were back in my room
shootin' the shit
talkin' 'bout dumb romances and things we'd never admit
we were crackin' jokes and watchin' shows and takin' some hits
never too close for comfort 'cause we both never hid

he was a lover and a brother and he drew sometimes
siphoned all of his worries out from his anxious mind
he drew tattoos that would never ever see daylight
but he gave me one, it's on my arm, he's with me for life

and i swear to god dude could lighten up any room
no doubt he was a ladies' man
i don't mean to be crude
he was brilliant and clever but no one really knew
he was a quiet gentle giant with a rose point of view

believe me, i've tried everything
went through all the stages of grief
i drive slow when on your street
i only hope that you found peace

thomas

produced by zoltar

lyrics:

i know it's kinda late
but can i talk to you?
that's a stupid question
'cause we got nothin to lose
don't know what to say
i just need your voice
your skin and bones are perfect
you just don't leave me a choice

wish i could take you away from them
wish i could move on so we could just be friends
wish you'd hit my line, but i'm too high again
wish we were together, but our time is spent

and i know
i'm not asking for a lot
but i think that just the thought
of standing up for me
breeds anxiety

we all love to say that we'd die for each other
but if it came down to it, head under water
would you jump in front of the bullet
or would you flake?
are these the kind of thoughts that keep you up wide awake?

and when they talk yeah i think i wanna fight
i'll take your soul straight purely outta spite
she wanna hang but i'm always outta sight
don't give a fuck 'cause i'm not the type of guy

chop your boy up like a sample call me splice
she say that she wanna fuck me because i'm nice
well i ain't got the patience so get back in line
they say i'm taciturn but i think that i'm just shy

clean me up and steal my clothes
make sure that i safely got home
kiss my face, imprint your name
drag your fingers on my veins

wish you would understand
that there's some things you do
i cannot hold your hand
you need to live your truth
and if you wanna know
how lonely it can be
then you can ask me
just go back to sleep

ssri

produced/mixed/mastered by zoltar

lyrics:

i'm not one to talk a lot
i keep my head down
fill in all the blank spaces
that come out my mouth
tired of forgetting things
'cause i let people down
this condition's not in remission
'cause my head's in the ground

even though i blank a lot
i try my best to say
all the things inside my chest
but something blocks my brain
i can't tell if it's anxiety
or if it's some delay
between the things that I wanna do
and the things that i wanna say

i don't trust a soul
'cause i can't break the mold
the labels that they put on me
will always have a hold
on my pathetic self-esteem
wish i could just leave
everything behind so i can
fix this working memory

why do i do this to myself
i feel so clueless
burning bridges that are useless to me
i'm blind to the future in front of me

endless dysregulation
i'm not okay
i'm feelin sorry
what do you want me to say?
biting my nails
'cause i need something to soothe
the formation of my internal noose

i could try again
get out of bed
but i fear that nothing
will ease this dread
can't remember
half the shit i said
so go away
i'm a fuck up 'til the end

working memory

produced by zoltar

lyrics:

everything's a blur
what a fucking mess
my heart is never sure
'cause i didn't take my meds
and even if i'm wrong
at least i got to see you
you're a work of art
you're divine in every move

but you could make me spiral just like that
yeah i can make mistakes
but i'm not all bad
i know that i'm a lot
i just wish you understood
if i could trade my heart
for another brain i would

and i don't wanna come off
like i'm obsessed with you
but would it be so crazy
if you felt it too?
i know i got my doubts
i even tried to leave
but every time you text
i find it hard to speak
and even though you're right there on my screen
it feels like you're a thousand miles away from me
i just want us to cross paths eventually
but when you don't respond
it gets hard to breathe

and even though you're right there on my screen
it feels like you're a thousand miles away from me
i just want us to cross paths eventually
but when you don't respond
it gets hard to breathe

they don't know what i been through
i'm glad you know
all about my cracked skin and fragile bones
i just wanna make sure that we take it slow
i don't wanna ruin our one chance to grow
i'm a mess
i don't care bout what i need
i just need to know that you still want me
i know i need constant reassurance
i've earned this
i worked too hard on myself
so it's time i cause a disturbance

and i don't wanna come off
like i'm obsessed with you
but would it be so crazy
if you felt it too?
i know i got my doubts
i even tried to leave
but every time you text
i find it hard to speak
and even though you're right there on my screen
it feels like you're a thousand miles away from me
i just want us to cross paths eventually
but when you don't respond
it gets hard to breathe

so take my hand, we'll be alright
you rain check for another night
splitting headaches, they beckon me
just like a lighthouse across the sea 

hold me closer now
i feel like i'm so lost in this world
i'm just tryna figure you out
i'm so inadequate to my core

for nothing

produced by zoltar

lyrics:

i've been talking to my walls
for the past six months
singing all these stupid songs
wonder when i'll see the sun
i let myself down any chance i get
making friends is hard
is there something that i don't get?

and I'm so isolated
it for sure made me jaded
i can laugh and i can smile
but i feel so vacant
fuck this frustration
it's a burden that's blatant
i'm so tired of faking
all this pain that i'm facin'

i can't fucking stand this
being away from you
i know that you could pull
me out of my whirlpools
feelin' the pressure weigh down on my neck
i fucked up again, there's a lump in my throat
i let down everyone that i love the most
i know that you'll run if i speak from the chest

so good morning to the pain i made
it's nice to see that my scars won't fade
they remind me of when i was betrayed
but i learned my lesson, people never change
just wanna grow up for once
stuck in restrictive mud
climbing to the top of my own standards is not enough
wish you could taste my pain
struggling everyday
and the medication that i take don't replace the blame

sit at my desk
and write a couple of lines
and then i sing from the chest
don't really care if they rhyme
and at the end of the day
this is my whole life
so if you'll excuse me
i think i need to go write
see, i don't play hard to get
'cause i don't know my worth
so don't take another step 
'cause you might get hurt
and if you're givin' up
would you please tell me
'cause i don't want this to go on
if you're not in it with me

fuck!

so i lead an empty life
i lost my sense of time
waking up way past nine
just wanna rinse my mind

good morning

produced by zoltar

lyrics:

i cannot withstand the shaking hands and fraud endearments
it's like this was your plan, how fucking dare you think i'm over this?
never could just talk to me, get off of me, don't give me shit
gave you all i got and that's a lot, i hope you hear this

settled for complacency but i could not just wait and see
if you'd come around and talk about yourself eventually
but you chose to hide and seek, you hate the vulnerability
and you chose to cut and run, i hope you get what i received

even though i'm out my element
i don't think that i can just forget
when we fell into the deep end
cannot believe that you tried to be friends
i just wanna be a better man
wading through all of the mud again
how does one build with an idle hand?
i'll be okay 'cause i know how this ends

you said you were falling for me
but when i spoke all my feelings
you just sat there and ignored me
used to chaos, peace is boring

i got so tired of tryna justify you
you let the ghost of rejection mortify you
seldom shared a shred of empathy
you emptied me
i fought for us so hard
but i can't fix immaturity

you said i was different from all of the other guys,
then why did you treat me the same as every other guy?
have you stopped to think that maybe you're the problem?
'cause i highly doubt that, you don't look inward often

untitled

produced by zoltar

lyrics:

buzzards circling my feet
guess it's time to face defeat
i didn't have much to offer
i know i look like the monster
i think that i'm far too late
'cause when i'm low, i isolate
bring me peace, i don't feel safe
can't find sleep, i ruminate

but i never fit in wherever i go
my eyes are a river of headaches, it shows
nobody knows me, i like it like that
i say what i want with no one to react

i got a lot to say, but i just keep it to myself
i don't want no complaints for when i'm talkin' mental health
this is more than an outlet for me, i hope you understand
so i cannot guarantee that you can hold these shaking hands

been considered a headcase upon first impression
the people around me told me it was just depression
they said it would pass, but i feel myself decay
what the fuck do you do when your world has turned to grey?

i never been the one to just avoid potential pain
'cause i've always tried to face it
let it rain down on my face
never been so cold-hearted and reckless
you can thank my brain for putting me through the wringer to humble me throughout the day
i know that i don't need it, but i cannot risk the pain
i hound myself for everything that i cannot explain
it's like i'm judging every moment, every breath i take
hypervigilant of every little thing i say

just give me a moment, i need to breathe
look in the mirror and i hate what i see
if there's a god, why can't she hear me scream?
fuck all your prayers, i need reality

i never wanted to wring out my clothes
they're cloaked in my sweat from the lies that you told
burdened with boredom while stuck in my room
i hate that my thoughts always default to you

a shred of hindsight could rest my case
the downpour of failure will yield no pain
it's merely distractions, i can't complain
gotta learn my lesson before it's too late

liberosis

produced by zoltar

lyrics:

i'd be hard pressed to find
a single ounce of peace of mind
i always miss the exit signs
we push and pull and we feel alive

you kept me safe and you killed my sorrow
you eased my pain, but i don't want my heart broke
i wanna stay until i'm feeling better
'cause you are the fire and i'm just an ember

but she radiates her soul
she wears her heart atop her sleeve
i think her eyes have got a hold
on my entire reality
and she's got eyes that could deceive
so i'm still waiting patiently
i never thought that i would see
the soothing of my sanity

but i'm not the one that you need
i've got flaws that you cannot see
i don't think you really know me
i'm a fraud in sheep's clothing

if you must die, i'll envy even the earth that wraps your body

@supravir

produced by zoltar

lyrics:

[zoltar]

i don't even get angry anymore
i just close my blinds and lock the door
cause i know that they won't understand
i'm alone and stuck with shaking hands
i'm a mess, i'm bleeding on the floor
i try my best, but i need something more
should i take my life for fuck's sake
'cause it's on my mind everyday

i feel too much, bash my head against the wall
nothing's right, i'm still waiting for your call
wreck my head, it's always messy by default
promise me you didn't fill my wounds with salt
i'm always tired so my bones collapse
i traded in my spine for a heart attack
i fucking feel so blind
everything fades to black
and both my legs go numb
now i cannot run back

i feel so out of touch
i'm getting way too fuckin' cynical
i hope i'm enough
'cause if i'm not, i won't be in pursuit
i know my worth at least a little bit, you doubt that
i'm feeling anxious so if you need me, i'll be out back
but i know you won't come lookin
'cause you couldn't be bothered
even though you act like i'm your everything, it's awkward
tsunamis in my stomach won't reside without an offer
so i chief my pen, i hope you don't mind i'm a cougher

if you got shit to say then say it to my face
watch your mouth before i put you in your place
you better lower your tone when you're speakin' to me
i feel just like a god when i'm watching you bleed
couldn't give less of a fuck about the money 'cause that's lame
i just want catharsis, something that will kill the pain
i do this cause i love it, not a dollar to my name
the drive within my heart will never do this shit in vain

i'm not gonna lie, i haven't got good sleep in ages
when i shut my eyes, my thoughts are flipping through the pages
my head can't stop running, feet are far behind the pavement
sick of all the static so please let me make a statement
i could not care less about your health or wealth, i'm done
fighting off the anger, but i'm positive it won
you wore me down just like the nail that lingers on my thumb
if i spoke from my chest, you would just tell everyone

[Supra Vir]

i'm comin' lurkin' between all the shadows
now i'm the villain but i'll always win the battles
you were the snake, but i never heard the rattle
my mental boiling mad now i'm splittin' between the atoms

if only i knew what this could've been for
i never would've stayed if you're in this form
now you got me filling up
'bout to cause a tidal wave
you can throw our story out
your plans on the title page

i hope you're prayin' on my downfall
because i never wanna see you again
this was never at all my fault
your heart was always playin' pretend

how you gonna look me in the eyes and tell me everything's okay
especially after all was done my heart has started to decay
nothing will ever mend the bridge between you and i
here we go our separate ways
here's our final goodbye

tsunami (ft. Supra Vir)

produced by zoltar

lyrics:

the waiting game's begun 
so i can't talk a lot
she's got it figured out
while i'm left in the dark
there's no escaping me
i'm bound to my own fears
'cause this is who i am 
i've been like this for years

do you think that i'll change?
'cause i'm so scared i won't
i know it's up to me
but i can't be on my own
affliction takes ahold
and punctures through my face
i wanna hide my soul
but i can't erase mistakes

dysregulation in the dome 
disadvantaged and alone 
nobody ever checks on me
'cause they know i'm out of hope
why do i take up this space? 
i'm not worthy, i'm afraid
how can i make it more clear that
i'm never really okay?

right from the start, i was a mess 
there was no saving me 
i took it all straight to the heart 
now i've got jealousy
the greenest eyes you've ever seen
staring carefully
i'm sorry that i'm not that strong 
my heart forsakens thee

uncertainty has guaranteed my futility
i'm like a tree stuck in the dark 
suffering and steep 
and while i'm stuck behind a screen 
there's no agency
i've come to realize i'm not free 
there is no release

i came on too strong 
but how is that wrong?
i can't help it if i have a heart
that's full of love
fuck what they all say 
i'm borderline insane
i wouldn't get close to me
if i were you, i'd run away

i'm a liability
i burden those close to me 
don't you ever feel like you're the
only one who's lost at sea?
reading all your messages 
feel the sting inside my chest 
pace around my room until i
write off every word you said

even if i was found dead
i'd hope that you won't regret 
everything you never said
i don't want that in your head

at the end of the day 
i still care about you
regardless of our statuses
i know you'll find truth
the boundaries we put in place
will keep us en route 
we all change, but honestly 
we can't forget our roots

anima

@greavesinfinity

produced by zoltar

lyrics:

[zoltar]

i churn all my anger into pretty synths and harsh bass
cut out all the feedback and you're nothing more than bad taste
you call yourself an artist but what the fuck do you stand for?
i’m brutally honest so what you expectin' praise for?

you think that i'mma flex 
but you don't know nothin 'bout me
won’t fuck up a check
'cause i’m broke, i love the honesty
regardless, i’m up next
but i keep that under lock and key
fucked up in the head,
but i won’t sit in complacency

i swear to god man, you’re all the same
you lie and you pester, you all act in vain
obsessed with your image, you all look the same
you wonder why no one even knows your name

irrelevance follows you ‘round like the plague
your cowardice haunts you like deep-seated shame
think i give a fuck about what you’ve obtained?
your gold and your silver corrodes all the same


if you truly 'bout it then you really oughta watch your mouth
don’t fuck with the drama, i stay planted in the dirty south
i stick to my guns and i stay in my own lane
all these posers want a feat, but they’re late to the game

me and greaves, we study this, treat it like it’s our fate
lungs are feelin sticky 'cause i’m chiefin' on propane
i’m not even sorry for being fuckin insane
i love what i am, i don’t need anybody’s taste

fuck me, i’m at it again
six feet, i’m sinking in
cross me, i’m takin' teeth
laughing all while you bleed

smoke screens cover your heart
pause please, i need to restart
i need the pain to make art
hurt me while i fight the dark

[GREAVES]

i can't give in 
i've faced all my sins
i'm laced up on ecstasy 
took on a whim 
make me repent 
i crashed out my 'vette 
you're taking a photo to save you the blame 

i iced out my chain 
i ripped out my veins 
i duck under cover to save your embrace 
just get out my face 
i think you're insane 
you left me in mourning 'cause we’re not the same 

you better close all your windows, monsters come out at dark 
i'll have you know i'm complacent, stuck in my villain arc 
live alone in oasis, but you're still in my yard 
because you have no regard

james 5:3

james 5:3 (ft. GREAVES)

produced by zoltar

lyrics:

bleed out 
separated from all the tension
seek doubt
disregarded their good intentions
sleep now 
you inflated all my distortions
breathe out
i won't let you say something morbid

we could argue all we want, but we both know we're splitting hairs
seems like nowadays we're stuck indulging and nobody cares
 addicted to convenience while these corporations take a share 
take on my perspective and then we'll see how you really fare

i've been misshapen 
beaten down and hated
 i don't deserve this
 light keeps on fading
 i've been wasting myself tryna pick up the mess
 all the feelings i harbored, they won't lay to rest
 so i thought of your face, now i can't go to bed
 i still have your t-shirt, it's the one that you said
 would look better on me, but despite your regret
 i think you looked lovely, now i can't decompress

i could never put you into words 'cause i feared
 that it wouldn't be good enough
 i think it's clear
 the dependency issues that i've displayed here
 and it's frightening i haven't loved no one in years

this shit is making me sick 
but i'm tapped the fuck in
 steady zoning out in front of my monitor like a kid
 now you can't take no offense
 but are you that fucking dense?
 my brain is growing pretty tired
 from all of your shitty friends

newton's flaming laser sword

produced by zoltar

lyrics:

well i feel fake
don't know what i want
'cause everyday feels all the same
i'm right where you want me
complacent, but lonely
i'm ashamed

i'll go for days without talking at all
confined to my room while i stare at the wall
trying to muster the courage to talk
but i'm too afraid so i'm writing it all
you think i'm annoying
well i think you're right
i feel like i know you from another life
i cannot fathom what i feel inside
forget about me, i'm just another guy

but try waking up with a chest full of nothing
my body's been begging for something of substance
this chip on my shoulder is just getting older
and i swear to god that if i had the chance
i would take back the seconds i already wasted
all of the pain that i haven't faced yet
the taste of defeat, the taste of the pavement
gotta retreat, but no one will save him

replacing my own thoughts with love, but my hope's lost
i feel like i'm reaching for something that's long gone
i'm stuck on this chapter
she's reading with laughter
embarrassed, but i'll sanctify
my struggles in little time
breaking my back trying to fix you up
i'm so sorry that i wasn't enough
the cards you were dealt
broke the heart that you held
there's no one to blame
so i'll point at myself

well that's fine
i know i can't go through that
unwind the vines pulling you right back
sit tight, address the problems you have
aggression's making me see all black
i need a heart that can function and can be patient
too bad the strings that attach are always fraying
you think i like being anxious and always shaking?
i licked these wounds on my own
don't need your saving

red 40 blues

produced by zoltar

lyrics:

there’s nothing more important than yourself
your tongue is slick and saying something else
i can’t say that i even wish you well
i hope the stones you left unturned are hell

i fed your appetite
i ran out of time
i can’t wait for this
headache to rewind
strung out on your bed
you’ve got nothing left
i bore witness to
things you never said

i’m never safe
but you wanna relate
trust me, you don’t want this
itch inside your brain
you think that i’m a fuck up
but i can’t retaliate
we both know you’re right so
why do you wanna stay?

i really hate
the way you try to berate
everyone who tries to get inside your brain
guarding yourself off will only punish ones who stay

forget all the rest
i’ll go back to sleep when i’m dead
you wanted me open and honest 
but now i’m stuck lying with every breath
i’m sick of this world that i’m in
indulging in cardinal sin
waiting for another window 
so i can insert myself in

but let it be known
i’m doing this under duress
i vacated all of the premises
you can be certain that it’s in your head
you said i’m not going nowhere
do you even realize i’m there?
i’m ready for whatever comes next
my blue eyes are catching your stare

i got that envy and it’s building tall
search for a pill just to kill the withdrawal
make up your mind, please, once and for all
i hope that i don’t come off too banal

there’s nothing more important than yourself
your tongue is slick and saying something else
i can’t say that i even wish you well
i hope the stones you left unturned are hell

banal

produced by zoltar

lyrics:

i know i'll find another way
to feel like a whole person
i need a thousand extra days
to conjure some encouragement
size me up for now
i think i'm fiending for some sentiment
could you show me how
to make good impressions so no one forgets?

you don't wanna see me when i can't get the words out
i push away the people that i care the most about
i don't even mean the shit that comes out of my mouth
i can't help but feel like everyone is out to get me
wreck me
people love to test me
acting like i'm not worth the dog shit that they stepped in
i really hate all the people who never listen
the ones that talk a lot of shit then just act like a victim
you think i'm flirting, i'm not
i got a head full of thoughts
i'm sweating bullets and i'm starting to develop a cough
i waste away in my room
bite at my skin 'cause of you
i'm better now, but honestly, that shit was just fucking rude
how could you leave it like that?
no care for who you attract
you oughta thank your false god that these teeth can retract
i'll sink them into your knee
destroy support underneath
because i'm going for the jugular, i'm never at ease

i'm never at ease...

stop
wait 'til i'm gone
i know you're aching for something you've lost
preaching to some
get through to none
what is the point of explaining myself
when everyone listens to somebody else?
wasting my breath on the anger you held
it's all my fault and i reap what i sow
you fooled me once now that's twice in a row

knee

@lilskeleskrrt

produced by zoltar

lyrics:

i haven’t been waking up fast enough
i’m too naive for something like real love
i don’t even really know who you truly are
at least it feels like that from afar

so tell me everything that you've been hiding
a faceless volunteer that left me writhing
i’ll be in my room so please don’t mind me
the worst part of it all is the deciding

whether or not you’ll even
be here tomorrow
you've given me blades
but i guess they were all borrowed
the lies that you’ve spun
you hid your last smoking gun
don’t wanna know how it starts
just know you fractured the hearth

wait
for a second
i need to catch my breath
take a step and
realign myself
with my intentions
i forgot how to think
yeah it’s impressive
the way i read your mind
no obsession
i just had a hunch
it was expected
no matter what you do
i’ll still accept it
you’re still half of my genes
i can’t resent it

baseline elevated high, i
wrote this to remind my
ego to abide by
the rules behind my eyes, i
fell into a state of shock
amassing so much writer’s block
i thought my hands had time to thaw
now i focus on every flaw

would you hate to be so weak?
would it tear you up limb to limb?
has it ever occurred to you that i'm
lost at the beginning, no?

[skele]

hold on to you
so tight it hurts
i can’t let go
i can’t make you worse
this isn’t what i asked for
give me a sign
that you would’ve kept my
heart sore
leave me to die
gave you a little
don’t have more
i’m out of time
i can’t move on for
a reason tonight
it comes from the hearth
i wish you could see the sparks
i made for us

[zoltar]

i been waking up at 4 a.m.
white lies got me stressed again
internalize all of my anger then release it
through a pen
i’m so sick of second chances
you heal with a small bandage
how could you jeopardize a life,
a wife, a holy marriage?

and i won’t ever make the same mistakes as you did
i know you’re in my blood but i’m a different human
plus i can air out all my grievances through music
i lost the man that i revered through shit excuses

i cannot handle the things are given to me
i thought i was strong but i’m so fucking weak
feel safer in sadness, i hide my exterior
peace is so boring but i feel inferior
i’ll be returning whenever you’re hurting
cause you’re still a part of my family tree
suffer through poems, i gotta get goin'
just don’t forget to leave the light on for me

zoltar

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