VPC 7

Waiting For My Eyes To Close [prod. by Ardamus]

Oldie But A Goodie [prod. by Vincent EL]

Fandom: Bob's Burgers
Character: Gene

Smiles times from your brother in a burger suit
No formal training but a banger what I'm bringing you
We  Playing in the hallway and I'm taking commissions
we Slaying every sunday, more relatable Simpsons
Your Head spins when I'm dressing up like queen latifah 
we can always make it sweeter, mom’s got candy in the freezer
when the guests come in DROP a beat and make em go wild
Best friend Ken jumping all up in the freestyle
I'll stay with geoffrey, I don't wanna grow up
Ask my mom to come and get me if I pee on this rug
home alone and I’ve been pacing, I’ve been facing my fears
the only one inside my home who’s never hiding his ears
And I’ve been begging for a snack like I’ve been begging for your pardon
eat a taco on a toilet that was placed inside a garden
Sisters got my back if we should ever have a problem
best legs in the family, for sure the smoothest bottom


All I need on this earth is some good food 
To make grooves even if I don't know how to
D-I-Y baby that's been My whole life
and i know that
Everybody wants to see me succeed so
Inhibitions I just threw them out  the window
So do your part
every fart is a work of art

I know my family will always save a seat for me
when i'm feeling agony they help me through the tragedy 
steering clear of apathy and lose myself in rhapsody
and my keyboard says it perfectly    


What I'm supposed to do? Just sit on my hands?
The lord done blessed me with this body be a sin to not dance
Clothing only a suggestion when you get in this trance
And You do not need pants when in New Geneland, and
I'm never ever made to feel like I suck
Even when I'm in a laser dog bark fart rut
End of day it's safe to say I'm feeling good cause they know
I got a built-in audience if I should put on a show
I'd be pouring on the charm so that they couldn't say no 
Sorry that I filled the burger grinder full of Play-Doh
So baby hit me with that gravy, i can't guarantee your safety 
Bette Midler better play me, 
Can't nobody center stage me


All I need on this earth is some good food 
To make grooves even if I don't know how to
D-I-Y baby that's been My whole life
and i know that
Everybody wants to see me succeed so
Inhibitions I just threw them out  the window
So do your part
every fart is a work of art

I know my family will always save a seat for me
when i'm feeling agony they help me through the tragedy 
steering clear of apathy and lose myself in rhapsody
and my keyboard says it perfectly    

I'm writing constantly and no one's ever stopping me
all about the harmony and never about profiting
maybe I'm a prodigy that wouldn't eat his broccoli
my keyboard says it perfectly like

VPC 7 Round 1

Muscle Laughing Shrimp [Beefy, tanner4105] - Every Fart is a Work of Art

Fandom: Harry Potter
Character: The Sorting Hat

This one goes out to my man Robert Galbraith. 
Sorting gang. We're the worst. 

[chorus] x2
If I can sort you in then I can sort you out. 
You couldn't thwart all the things that I've brought about. 
How did Lord Voldemort find supportive crowds? 
See, you're taught to be naughty in the naughty house. 

[verse 1]
I set the wheels in motion. I sense your real emotions 
and send you reeling into the field I've chosen. 
Perchance evil potions, deeds of deep revulsion. 
I'll achieve my goals as long as I meet the quotient. 
I'm not even coaching, just picking the teams 
and filling Slytherin with all of the shittiest tweens. 
These kids will be in smithereens and no one intervenes. 
My little scheme tickles me till I split at the seams. 
And Dumbledore... 
Did you think that dumdum just stumbled through the door? 
Or got that gig on merits? Like being careless 
and looking away when children perish 
in perilous scenarios? Or get very close to some scary ghost 
with varicose veins and hairy toes, wearing burial clothes? 
I put him in with confidence 
that I would find the odd use for his obtuse incompetence. 

[chorus] x2

[verse 2]
Who divides and conquers spies and plonkers? 
'Tis I, the bonnet. "And why? It's wrong?" 'Cause I'm just bonkers. 
My best sponsors are mindless wanderers, 
floundering onwards unaware of what unkindness conjures. 
Blind, unconscious, while I write destinies 
and set trajectories. Yes I'm a hat, but I pick the accessories. 
Expressed unease, rest in peace. No one suspects a headpiece, 
but I've got the future all laid out in excel spreadsheets. 
Deadbeats and death eaters make up my faculty 
I pick the children like fruit off an apple tree. 
The alchemy of apathy as I essentialize, 
categorize and emphasize the differential lines. 
Never empathize. Just spread empty lies like how Mars and Venus, 
and vulvas, ovaries, balls and penis 
share an important link, and other sordid things. 
It's a boring kink, I know, but I sort of think...

[chorus]

[outro variant]
If I can sort you in then I can sort you out. 
You couldn't thwart all the things that I've brought about. 
How did Joanne Rowling find supportive crowds? 
See, you're taught to be naughty...

.5 Quartet [Vincent E.L., Ardamus] - Sort You Out

Challenges accepted:
Vocals - (double time - Zolt Energy Serum)
Producer - (no snares in the beat - The Bear Hammock 29-F)

Game genre: Dating Sim
Screen: The Final Encounter

V: Oh, here we have it, the final encounter. This is a tough one, to be sure. Many have tried, all have failed so far, but maybe this is the one. 
A: It's a challenge, for sure, but we have a challenger. 
V: Oh, a true player. Let's see how it goes. 
A: Round one. Shoot your shot! 

I'm the final boss of the dating sim.  
There's no way to win, 'cause I can't take a hint. 
You're gonna fail and then you'll wanna play again 
Your loss, take it in, let the games begin.  
I've got all my defenses up, 
all tensed up and my comprehension tends to suck. 
Try to bend your luck with charms and methods of 
seduction, but we all know where you're ending up. 
Zone of friendship? What? No, twit, that's a prize. 
You're going home alone. Big fat surprise. 
Like Macaulay Culkin, without supplies. 
Always sulking, rip out your eyes  
if you don't wanna see the blank stare on my face 
as I dismiss your compliments as having terrible taste. 
I've had my fair share of dates, so I'm set, except 
I only found out in retrospect. (That's what that was?)  
  
V: Oh, you hate to see it, folks. Striking out in the first round. 
A: Well, let's see if there's any bouncing back from this. 
V: It is not looking too good right now, but it ain't over yet. 
A: Round two. Make your move! 

You know you'll be ill at ease, I don't show 
vulnerabilities. You've honed your skills, increased 
your ammo as sociable charmer, 
but cupid's arrows ricochet off my emotional armor. 
And my heart doesn't glow, so it's harder to get to. 
You try to connect, I'm just not gonna let you. 
With all the respect due, every romance Lothario 
measures on a scale from no chance to very low, 
no matter the scenario, even with careful listening, 
say you're getting hot, I'll hit the air conditioning. 
It's not your whispering nor a matter of discipline. 
I simply miss the gist of what it is you're propositioning. 
Not a single inkling. I just stare into space, 
unaware of infatuation you wear on your face. 
I've had my fair share of dates and before I left 
there wasn't one who wasn't bored to death. 

V: Ooooh! That's gotta hurt! Advances went right over the head *and* were countered with absolute tedium. 
A: This is a disaster, folks, and after so many successes. 
V: Well, there is one more round, so maybe not all is lost. 
A: Round three. Date!

I'm like talking to a brick wall, 
mindless conversations. 
A human bottle of rohypnol, 
minus connotations 
When we're walking through a strip mall, 
I'll exhaust your patience. 
What I'm saying's I'm an awful date, 
and you're gonna wanna escape from the jaws of fate 
before it all too late. They're already agape, 
frothing and starting to oscillate. 
Being my lawful mate is not so great, 
like a box of defrosted flakes. 
To get dad jokes like that for the rest of your life 
put me in a dress that is white and address me as wife. 
I've had my fair share of dates on repeat, the same 
every time 'cause no one's beat the game. 

A: Oh no, I think that's game over, folks. 
V: It sure is. The only way to move forward now is to start over from the last checkpoint at the beginning of the encounter. 
A: Press any key before the end of the countdown. 3...2...1...

VPC 7 Round 2

.5 Quartet [Vincent E.L., Ardamus] - Beyond Reach

Oh my god, oh my god
Oh my god, oh my god
Oh my god, oh my god
Oh my god, oh my god
Oh my god, oh my god
Oh my god, oh my god
Oh my god, oh my god
Oh my god, oh my god

Listen, the way that you movin' is basic
I can do what I want, where I want, when I want
I don't need any authorization
You might think you control where I go but you don't
So you better stop testing my patience
You being complacent I'm takin over your organization
If you don't upgrade it
All of these actors they know I'm a threat
I advance with persistence, don't know that I'm here today
Won't see me coming, no noise when I'm running
I put a hole in ya system like a zero day
Payloads be moving in stealth, B2
Rats in a nest that egress, C2
Open to the world then it's mine when I hack it
Tool fires once and it's over when I packet
Pay attention if you leaving open doors
I'mma look inside like it was open source
I'mma take everything that you thought was yours
Selling all your secrets when I open Tor
Far shot from a sploit that's an RCE
Leave you shocked to the point you can hardly speak
When I dump everything like the largest cheeks
Dropped on the toilet after Arby's beef

Oh my god, oh my god
Oh my god, oh my god
Oh my god, oh my god
Oh my god, oh my god
Oh my god, oh my god
Oh my god, oh my god
Oh my god, oh my god
Oh my god, oh my god

Lookin' scared for ya life, oh my god (oh my god)
I can see it in your eyes, oh my god (oh my god)
You ain't messing with Ohm-I no you're not (oh my god)
Claim what's yours call it mine, oh my god (oh my god)

I'mma burst at the seams
When I'm a guest on your host no virtual machine
Take root where I go I'm dispersing the seeds
Like your girl with my hard drive, they'll be searching the D
MZ callback they reversing for me
Make a child process like the birds and the bees
From the place where your AI learns on machines
Leak the brain like a murderous scene
If you say that ludicrous
Then I'mma keep disturbing the peace
While you curse in defeat and you're yearning for me
To release a friendlier version of me (nope)
I'mma take over while you lookin for hope
You'll be at the end of your rope
Word to ya sub, got my foot on ya throat
I'm on top, it's no secret
And I won't stop, no regrets
They hear me rap, they know it's lit
Got 'em saying (oh my god, holy shit)
When it comes to hacks, I supply chains
The plan of attack lives in my brain
I'm storming the clouds and it might rain
Catch you by surprise and you might say

Oh my god, oh my god
Oh my god, oh my god
Oh my god, oh my god
Oh my god, oh my god
Oh my god, oh my god
Oh my god, oh my god
Oh my god, oh my god
Oh my god, oh my god

Lookin' scared for ya life, oh my god (oh my god)
I can see it in your eyes, oh my god (oh my god)
You ain't messing with Ohm-I no you're not (oh my god)
Claim what's yours call it mine, oh my god (oh my god)

Lookin' scared for ya life (lookin' scared for your life)
I can see it in your eyes, oh my god (oh my god)
You ain't messing with Ohm-I (you ain't messin' with Ohm-I)
Claim what's yours call it mine, oh my god (oh my god)

OHMIGOD!

I Use The Internet Wrong

The meme, the maymay, the meemee, the mehmee, has taken over all of the world, and then there's plenty, to use when you have to project, every, or any, thoughts,  feelings, random emotions, there is so many, its gotten pretty crazy, and this shit's amazing, the way this built and took it all over, and now its phased in and raising, a kid in this world, there will be days when, you gotta put a foot to that ass, and never cave in, those kids, they will take that emotion, and put a day in, trying to get the feeling in memes, they get a say in, the spread and the stretch of that meme, and get to say when, that meme, will no longer be used, that happens day in, and day out, every few seconds, another plays out, viral is the aim of this game, that's all its a-bout, trying to be the greatest memelord, the dankest name out, another gonna soon be on top, and you'll be phased out

So you see, it was Me and the Boys, we gone to Jupiter, the ship went and crashed on the moon, so now were stupider, Bad Luck Brian was there, talking to Lucifer, he traded in his soul for a girl, but now he's thru with her, that dirtball, Scumbag Steve was wreaking havoc, sending little gifts to his Girl, they're filled with maggots, his Girl, she's a bit of a problem, she's really clingy, soft, Overly Attached, one night, she cut his thingy off, the last Boyfriend, she dumped him, he was Distracted, checking out a chick in her face, she then attacked him, he told her that she needed to stop overreacting, she turned around and got herself pregnant and then she trapped him, this Grumpy Cat will probably say no to Ancient Aliens, while Gladiators asking if this is entertaining them, the Tide Pod eating and Ice Buckets was failing them, intelligence has now left the building, with Thomas trailing em

Xo+ - Cats All Your Base Are Belong To Us

[Chorus]
The party starts to blow…imma head out
My heart tells me to go …imma head out
See something isn’t right, respond with fight or flight
and now I’m like “Ight… imma head out”

(Scenario) Ight, there are many times and situations 
Where things start out dope but then something builds up my reservations 
Like a hangout where I be vibing then someone tests my patience
And inside I’m begging the strength to hold back aggressive statements
Cuz I could go off, let this bullshit snowball
Or simply let it go yall, and chill before I escalate the
Beef, maybe it’s best to keep the peace, or am I just too patient?
Fuck it imma head out, peace. My Lyft is waiting

My job sucks, I feel so unappreciated
My boss sucks, he’s evil yup I freaking hate him
Days off suck, I’m fatigued I always need vacation
But the office demonizes me and says I leave em hangin
I’ma load up Indeed, and send my resume up 
To a couple cool companies, my future in the making
And at tomorrows meeting, the words imma get out
Ight. Imma head out, 2 week notice, resignation

[Chorus]

(Scenario) Hi mom, apologize for the time crunch
Appreciate the room and board, always gave me my lunch
I’m saying this  knowing I’m about to make your life suck
But I’m your fucking baby, and I’ve been in you for nine months
(Shieeeet) I saw a button that said break your water
Pushed that button and now the womb is in complete disorder
Shiny light appeared, and I hear “Pushhhhh” from my father
Ight…I should head out, super stoked to be your daughter!

(Lightning round) Ight Imma Head Out… Ice cream truck is parked outside
Ight imma head out… the Uber’s about to cancel ride
Ight Imma Head Out… my Pokestop just got a lure
Ight Imma Head Out… Is that a spider I’m not sure
Ight Imma Head Out… bad cell reception in the crowd
Ight Imma Head Out… romantic feelings i can’t get em out 
Ight Imma Head Out… the window for a better glance
Ight Imma Head Out… penis tip stuck out the pants (yeesh)

[Chorus]

It’s time make like a dryer sheet and BOUNCE. Time to hit the old dusty trail ya feel me? Let’s skedaddle, folks. The going got tough so the tough got going I guess. Hasta mother frickin luego.

Nerdcore VPC 6

SongBotCo - Ight Imma Head Out

Lyrics:

I'm out in the nighttime shivering, riding in the rain with a package I'm delivering, deserted-ass house in
the creepy streets of Riverton, everybody says, don't go, or you'll probably never live again, wtf is wrong
with you, why would you go to the house, where ya mama, she was slaughtered right in front of you, but
me, I didn't listen, I was doing what I wanna do, trying to find an object from my past, it's important so, off
on my way, following what the informant wrote, soon, I arrive, there's a kitty there, adorable, cat runs off,
follow him, I find a door that's broke, get into the house, the conditions there, deplorable, creeping thru
the muck, fuck, I'm searching for the bedroom, step in something wet, damn, it's smelling like a cesspool,
water getting deeper, shit like this is meant to test you, but it aint stopping me, you can save that for the
next fool

When I think about the past, in this house where they deserted us, I think about the times when their
actions disconcerted us, I think back to the moments every day when he was hurting us, and all the
times my mama didn't think to be concerned with us, he'd beat us all the time, never giving us a reason,
a motive, a cause, every day was beating season, he'd ease in, drunker than a fuck, already peed in, his
pants, swinging blows, like he don't know the hurt he's leaving, he's thieving, conniving, has the devil in
his eyes and no emotions, 'cept for token ones, he used when he deprived us, the night he beat my
mama, til her eyes were staring lifeless, he made us help him bury her and laughed like he was Isis

Hook
Don't return to your childhood home, let the ghosts there wander, leave the memories alone, so
the next time you dreaming bout the memories of home, just remember that those memories,
were sad and alone

So I'm finally in the room, my brother told me bout a wall, where the bricks look shifted, if you push one, it
will fall, there's a room built behind it, said he built it really small, put your hand inside the opening, you're
looking for a ball,I think I feel it!, I press it and the wall opens clearly, also, I hear a cough that's sounding
like its near me, crawling over there, undernourished, like severely, I see the man who took my mom
away, he seems to fear me! pitiful to see, but it gives me satisfaction, my brother musta put him in this
hole, like somewhere back when, the incident had happened, the night that he attacked him, and beat
em really bloody, with a pipe, I saw he cracked him, the last time we seen him was that night, my brother
dragged him out, put em in the truck, never questions on his whereabouts, my brother sent me here with
a package ima empty out, I pour it in the hole, Sulfuric Acid? OH SHIT, I'M OUT!!

VPC6 Round 2

Xo+ - Childhood Home

This was a contest entry made entirely from a sample pack by Benn Jordan and Sarah Longfield. It didn't stand a chance, and I didn't expect it to. I just enjoyed the challenge.

Mozart von Robot - Polly Want Cracker

Visit kordlyss.bandcamp.com as it's also a site that somehow let me upload this crap.

I Use The Internet Wrong

Kordlyss