# I. 

My track marks are black marks on medical records 
   
“Drug seeking” written in black Helvetica letters 
    
Blood leaking out my writings, “I'm better than ever”
   
Maybe if I say it enough times I'll believe it, but never have I 
  
# II. 
   
Ever paid the weather no attention. I just let it storm through me
   
If life wants to then it'll screw me 
   
Ain't no point in pushing back. I need wax to patch up these cracks
   
If you don't want to watch me do this, I'd get back 
   
# III. 
    
I wouldn't blame you for leaving. 
   
Every time I say to you “I'll stay” I swear that I don't believe it
   
It's hard to breathe in
   
Crawled up this mountain so high that turning back and walking down feels deceiving
   
# IV. 
    
Heaving, even though I'm swallowing to make me whole

I'm wallowing in all the sadness that exists in my soul

I'm told it takes time to get out of this hole

But I ain't seen the sun since I was 16 years old


# V. 
  
Let it be, let it go. If I can't reach my phone, then feel free to come over. Anytime.  
  
Let yourself in the door, spare key’s under the porch. 

I'll be right where you left me. Every time.  
    
# VI. 
   
I've been living at elevations that would make most folks sick. 
   
I took it all at 5 so I should be okay by 6
   
I've got the medicine on call, delivery is quick.  
    
I swear she's getting secondhand just from sucking my-

# VII. 

-Quick, pick up the phone, I'm all alone inside a slum that I call home

But nothings left of me but ashen skin on decomposing bones 

I left the light on in my darkest place despite escaping. Just in case

I fall back down this rabbit hole. I'd like to think I'm in control

# VIII. 

But every days a fucking wreck, I'm roped around the neck

Eternally enthralled by apathy, a gravestone to erect 

It's not correct to say I stayed alive, more like I bought some time 

What is the statute of limitations for posting cringe online? 

# IX. 

Shut all the hatches and duck below as the pressure starts to rise

I scribble frantically, feeling low. I let out a primal cry

I'm gonna die. Can't say I didn't try to fight it off and stay alive 

I'm drowning in an ocean of agony, all of which derives

# X. 

From one foul kick to the base of my spine

When my brains are on the pavement I will finally be fine

There is no way to save me, I've long since crossed the line

Waste my time wasted, living on borrowed time

Strung Out String Theories: Episode VII - My Track Marks

The first single from the new album "Monkey Suit"! To be in the music video, check this link: http://www.billyrowan.co.uk/star-in-the-official-video-for-last-chance-to-dance/

Pre-order the album here!
https://undercoverhippy.bandcamp.com/album/monkey-suit-2

Last Chance To Dance

I wrote this song following the riots that took place across the UK in 2011. It was a response to the way in which our Government and media chose to demonise the young people involved, looking for an easy scapegoat, rather than looking at the social conditions and inequality that led us to that point.

Our Streets

Don't Buy It

Cumstain on the Sofa (ft. Jack Bird)

i've never called a hotline in my life
but i've wanted to die quite a few times
you say i do this to myself
i say go to hell

you hang up and i cry myself to sleep
morning comes and i pretend we're happy as can be
you go off and slowly forget me

if i have to spend one more day waiting for something to happen
i'm gonna die
parts of me are scared for my health
and parts of me are ready to say goodbye

i don't mean to worry you but i'm running out of time
and i don't mean to worry you but i don't know how to just be alive

come hold me like you used to
you hate me but i still need you

i guess i'm sorry
i'm sorry
i'm sorry
i'm sorry

i love you
i love you
i love you
i'm sorry

i hate me
i hate me
i hate me
i hate me
i hate me
i hate me
i hate me
i hate me

you make me
hate me
hate me
hate me
you make me
hate me
hate me
hate me

god, god
god
god?
god, god
god
if you're out there set me free
if you're out there leave me be

give me back the one i need
give me back the one i need
make me feel something besides apathy

i need you to save me

last resort

EVERYDAY 6:10:19

songs i made in my bedroom. this is my space.

Brighter Days

Mostly complete demo of an Indie/Emo song with no vocals

Sarsaparilla

Hyperalgesic asshole. Bum notes and dumb quotes.
   
Newer tracks go here, for now at least. soundcloud.com/thehippiecripple

Strung Out String Theories: Episode VII - My Track Marks

Lost In The Sauce

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