# I. 

If I drop my headphones on the train tracks, 

I’m going in after them. Fuck, my brain's racked. 

Packed Pax and pain patch, left but came back

Not getting feedback but still catching FLACs

# II. 

Redact.ed like what.cd is my god

That died for our sins and left us aloft

Alone and unloved, get stoned and unplug 

The feedback is growing, along with my nugs

# III. 

But often in times of shock and dismay 

We flock in droves onto The Pirate Bay

Toh Kay said its fine, Hands Thieved 'em alright

I don't pay for music so don't pay for mine

# IV. 

I don't pay for music so don't pay for mine 

My seed box is heavy duty, always online

I got ideation growing, antipsychotics a flowing 

Heavy metals in my plastic head, I'm braindead on the petal

# V. 

With pain meds in the ghetto

Stop saying that shit gets better

Tried to patch my shattered psyche up with substances and letters 

Every day is just a fucking wreck, I'm roped around the neck

Eternally enthralled by apathy, a gravestone to erect

# VI. 

I will, I won't, I wanna die

I know I really fucking tried

To play it safe just to survive

Albeit broken and contrived 

-

But still alive! 

I've said a thousand times, 

that it gets written if it rhymes

No if's and's or reasons why 

My writing shouldn't traumatize

# VII. 

Fuck commas, I've been living broke

And I'll die that way, when I finally choke 

On my vomit, can't calm it, it's gonna end

I know I see it coming but I still pretend

-

That I won't go shamefully to sleep

Leaving friends and family to weep 

And out of my poems it starts to seep

The ideation that exists skin deep 


# VIII.

When I wake from this lucid dream

I'd like to find some harmony

Seems I've been swallowed up neck deep

By this indecision and apathy

-

I show up late and stumble in

With my vaporizers I'm fumbling

"fucking kill me" I'm mumbling

While my psyche it is crumbling

Lost in Lossless: Episode I - I Don't Pay for Music so Don't Pay for Mine

me when your mother

me when your mother [experimental]

# I. 

My track marks are black marks on medical records 
   
“Drug seeking” written in black Helvetica letters 
    
Blood leaking out my writings, “I'm better than ever”
   
Maybe if I say it enough times I'll believe it, but never have I 
  
# II. 
   
Ever paid the weather no attention. I just let it storm through me
   
If life wants to then it'll screw me 
   
Ain't no point in pushing back. I need wax to patch up these cracks
   
If you don't want to watch me do this, I'd get back 
   
# III. 
    
I wouldn't blame you for leaving. 
   
Every time I say to you “I'll stay” I swear that I don't believe it
   
It's hard to breathe in
   
Crawled up this mountain so high that turning back and walking down feels deceiving
   
# IV. 
    
Heaving, even though I'm swallowing to make me whole

I'm wallowing in all the sadness that exists in my soul

I'm told it takes time to get out of this hole

But I ain't seen the sun since I was 16 years old


# V. 
  
Let it be, let it go. If I can't reach my phone, then feel free to come over. Anytime.  
  
Let yourself in the door, spare key’s under the porch. 

I'll be right where you left me. Every time.  
    
# VI. 
   
I've been living at elevations that would make most folks sick. 
   
I took it all at 5 so I should be okay by 6
   
I've got the medicine on call, delivery is quick.  
    
I swear she's getting secondhand just from sucking my-

# VII. 

-Quick, pick up the phone, I'm all alone inside a slum that I call home

But nothings left of me but ashen skin on decomposing bones 

I left the light on in my darkest place despite escaping. Just in case

I fall back down this rabbit hole. I'd like to think I'm in control

# VIII. 

But every days a fucking wreck, I'm roped around the neck

Eternally enthralled by apathy, a gravestone to erect 

It's not correct to say I stayed alive, more like I bought some time 

What is the statute of limitations for posting cringe online? 

# IX. 

Shut all the hatches and duck below as the pressure starts to rise

I scribble frantically, feeling low. I let out a primal cry

I'm gonna die. Can't say I didn't try to fight it off and stay alive 

I'm drowning in an ocean of agony, all of which derives

# X. 

From one foul kick to the base of my spine

When my brains are on the pavement I will finally be fine

There is no way to save me, I've long since crossed the line

Waste my time wasted, living on borrowed time

Strung Out String Theories: Episode VII - My Track Marks

I.

I'm fucking golden as a goose

Beholden to the use of substances to keep me loose

Emboldened by the brazen ways I've dangled in the noose

Never thought I'd make it through that night

I never thought I'd see the day

I never thought I'd be alright

# II.

Illicit, a response. A question shouted out into the ether

Missed the Renaissance. Morphine, the purple people eater

Need or want it, I don't even know, like what have I to show

For all the trauma, stringing commas together until I blow

# III. 

Brains on the pavement, 

Couldn't be saved, spent my life in a haze

Meant more to be to stay another day then to stay sane, remain decayed 

And everything will be okay, 

Just cut the lines and kill the pain

I'm out of tar and out of time

I wish that this would end tonight 

# IV. 

But why today? Why not last year? 

Why push through that and give up here? 

I'll spare the sword but leave the spear stuffed in my arm in endless fear

So I'll be here tomorrow 

Maybe if I push down the sorrow

I'll make it out of my cold coffin

And touch ground every so often

Illicit: A Response

big thx to @fuzzypuddles for booking my first sunrise set 💜🙌

i rarely get to play out liquid live, especially tracks that are as personal to me as these, enjoy yall ✨

•𖤓⋆⁺₊⋆ tracklist ⋆⁺₊⋆𖤓•

~ tqd • vibsing ting (costah bootleg)
~ tokyo prose • brilliant corners
~ submorphics • daydreaming ft. big brooklyn 
red
~ foreign concept • champagne nihilist
~ piri + tommy • beachin' (sudley remix)
~ leniz • NYMA
~ pyxis • moonshadow
~ satl & lips • everything to me
~ OaT • what you do
~ kontrast • close to you (revan remix)
~ saikon • guilty pleasures
~ sabre • holy water
~ sili • avocados
~ everyone you know • do you miss raving (kamoh bootleg)
~ visages • azrael
~ monty • ferns
~ dj gaw & bandit • puzzle
~ kali uchis • telepatia (dlln bootleg)
~ tyrone • city lights
~ alix perez • crown city
~ sonnyjim & buckwild • coke le roc (creatures remix)
~ khruangbin • first class (halogenix edit)
~ fracture • all my love
~ sl8r • backroll
~ YAANO • lust
~ gyrofield • tech flex vip
~ die antwoord • i fink you freeky (wingz edit)
~ brain • safety
~ qua rush • without u
~ selecta j-man & kelvin 373 • keep on dancing
~ koherent • dancing soul
~ en:vy • you
~ givēon • favourite mistake (halogenix edit)
~ surreal • superfly
~ lenzman • yasukuni
~ bredren • fallen leaves
~ radiohead • weird fishes arpeggi (freshney bootleg)
~ thiago pery & sl8r • the magic (crimson remix)
~ phil:osophy ~ clouds
~ villem & mcleod ft. leo wood • let it breathe (phaction remix)

lost in the sunrise sauce 4/14/2023

Conocer y Sueno

¿Y que te gusta?

¿Y que te gusta? プレゼンテーション

# I. 

I've got the urge to purge 

the internet of all the words

That I've let left unspoken, unheard 

Fragments tattered, broken, and slurred

# II. 

Plastered on the pavement and blurred

Brain matter fed to the birds

I tried to patch my shattered psyche up with distillate and words 

To no avail

# III. 

Stale metaphors fail 

To articulate what drives these wails

Hurricane force winds in these sails

Heading off the map strapped to a bed of nails

# IV. 

Nothing if not derailed my train of thought remains

Neuralgia makes me stray from cars and trucks and planes

We're all just generalizing to avoid the pain

Of individuality, I can't maintain 

# V. 

I wanna tear apart my heart, but I'm too weak

So all I do is atrophy alone and weep

But tears just won't come out, an overdrawn account 

Of all the misery to which I am devout

Substance Soaked I Awoke: Episode IV - I've Got The Urge To Purge

#

I'm not a prodigy, I'm just a pothead. We can't drown, we've been living at the bottom of the sea 
     
    
For so long, we've grown strong enough to breathe water and disbelieve what we've been taught. 
   
#.  
  
They say the good die young and that art imitates life. 

Well, life's a joke and death is the punchline. 
   
She said the songs I wrote are just lies

And she's right, but the truth won't get me through the night.  
     
#

I swear that I've been locked in the same damn fight 

with myself and my health, and my lack of wealth don't 

bother me, but it's hard to breathe 

since I run on sentences and powdered leaves. 
   
#

And I can't picture ever spending one day free from pain and substances coupled with desire to bleed out

Poetry onto a mattress. Seen enough friends disappear into obscurity. 
   
#
 
Is where I'll be, and I'll see you in dreams. Wake up reminded that the ones I loved left me. 
   
Alone in my homeless, stoned anhedonius. Phone reported stolen with my throat still swollen.   
  
#
 
From the last time I tried partial suspension.

Falling from grace, (when I was) hoping for ascension (Mac Miller ascension sample)

I mentioned things I'd like to forget, 

I spent all of my allotted time on this rock running from regret 

#

And gunning for my head, lying around half dead
 
Chained to self harm, pill bottles, my bong and my bed

Sores accumulated slowly, while I atrophied, you know me long enough to know I'm broken as the sentences I've spoken 

#

Fragmented and cemented in the substances I've stolen

Hearts of those unlucky few who made the mistake to go into 

Dark places with faces masked in hash and burned to ash 

All of the photographs, it never lasts, all that is sure is that time will pass

#

Classes, glasses foggy, first hand lessons in pharmacology, 

Take me back to Sag Harbor promptly 

Nobu brunch, back when Stone Barns would comp me. 

Picturesque, addiction yet to ruin the nuclear 

Family melted down over bottles of Morphine

More fiends in Melville than are in hell

Said I'd make it out someday and find a way somehow

I'm Not A Prodigy, I'm Just A Pothead (Demo)

Last Night | Live set MadHappy

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LOST IN THE SAUCE

"LOST IN THE SAUCE" - DABOII, LARRY JUNE TYPE BEAT | BAY AREA INSTRUMENTAL

BabyTron - Lost in the Sauce (Slowed)

🫀Music has no ego. 🧠 

“I’ve been playing piano since I was 6, and never learned how to read music.. I just feel what I play.. what you hear, is what i feel” - Abel
linktr.ee/AbelEnriqueOfc 
I make music to feed the soul
Melodic Afro House/Techno
Miami’s undergound 🔊
Bookings Madhappy2k@gmail.com

IG: @abelenrique.mp3

✧･°☁︎ 𝚜𝚕𝚎𝚎𝚙𝚢 𝚍𝚓 𝚒𝚗 𝚕𝚊 𝚖𝚘𝚜𝚝𝚕𝚢 𝚜𝚙𝚒𝚗𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚍𝚗𝚋 ☁︎*:･✧


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ﾟ+ 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚍𝚞𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚟𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 @𝚌𝚛𝚢𝚙𝚝𝚒𝚍𝚊𝚞𝚍𝚒𝚘

the funny bri'ish person in your screen.

i like fnf music and .flow i guess

Russell Adams is Amaranth. Amaranth is City Pop!

Listenable on:
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Hyperalgesic asshole. Bum notes and dumb quotes.
   
Newer tracks go here, for now at least. soundcloud.com/thehippiecripple

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New tracks tagged #lost in the sauce