Beat Poems To Beat Yourself Up Over

# I 

I know myself for long enough 

To know that I'm not strong enough 

To hit the bong enough to get up and get out the fog 

# II 

And up and Adam

Toss the kratom

It had 'em turning their heads quick
 
Bottoms up'd that medicine bottle on main street

I'm too sick  

# III

Give two shits what you spit

Laid with snakes and got bit 

Grew up post recession rich 

Them Hills with them big Dix

# IV

Scream loud dragging that big stick
 
And a sack full of sedatives. 

Until I'm calm, and the bomb track won't detonate like columbine, shit!

# V

I'm fried awake it's morning

I'm dying to get out of the morgue 

Surprised I made it past the my twenty  and even more the fucking four

# VI

Years held captive up on this dying Earth 

Living high in Damien's herse

Doing drugs it's just a war with boredom, but they'll never get me

# VII

Alive, like ones who'll never confide in mandated reporters

Cole Porter, that's how it goes

Anything but the serotonin flows

# VIII

Blows dealt thoughtlessly, crying wolf

40 proof in the pudding

Playboy this coffee's good

The bear is in the China cat

Son, flower in my Pax

Showered in the wax

# IX


Heaps in the back seat of a Medicaid taxi

Feet on stratosphere

I'm outta here

It's back to bed

I live in fear

# X

Of pain

Plants in brain

Lost my headphones

Missed the train

Bus was late 

High point jammed

But I guess you get what you pay


# XII

Forward motion, devotion to a pill or a potion

A plant or prescription, to a noose or an ocean 

Of solvents, everclear as day

That this pain isn't going away 

So all that's left for me to say is 

Is what the fuck is left for me to say,

Crywank Allowed Me To Lower My Standards Enough To Record This

# I. 

Rationing resistance

To the heat and pumping pistons

Sensations I'd hardly miss

Were my universe to subsist

# II. 

Unsubstantiated in bliss

Full of apathy. I insist 

On keeping on the bent and broad 

Spectrum extracts. Calloused claws, plectrum

# III - Bridge

Pykmax in the paws

CBT, clamped in the jaws

I've tried to patch my shattered psyche up 

With distillate and gauze, to no avail

# IV. 

Stale metaphors fail 

To articulate what drives these wails

Hurricane force winds in these sails

Heading off the map strapped to a bed of nails

#  V.

Impaled and embossed, in all of that sauce I'm lost

It did Cost to get across, the rivers I've waded and across almost lost

# VI - Bridge 

My artistic license revoked for driving metaphors home stoned, 

Alone in a dark room with a mic 

The way its been my whole damned life

Rationing Resistance to the Heat and Pumping Pistons (Sensory Overdose)

# I

I went braindead off the copaganda.

I've got pain meds in the pockets, and I

Stopped, dropped, and rolled a joint. At some point

I said I'd keep on screaming til I've lost my voice

# II

6 distros on my disk drive

Having kernel panic attacks reliving the day what.cd died

Why keep hope high as I try to be?

Looking at the sky and screaming, why do my nerves lie to me?

# III

Old and out of tune, yeah the Patent's Pending

Sold my doubt to two sour patch kids, blending 

Psychedelics with psychosis, seroquel in tow. I know 

It's playing with fire, but I love to feel the burn
 
# IV

Emotional endeavors of the reckless kind, mind blown post mortem

Most people will run away from fires, but I'm still running towards em’

Poured a fourth of faking confidence and I shot a bag of hope

It's all to help me cope, and to get by

# V

Unlucky that I'm still alive

But I've been crying, lying bleeding in a pile of broken mirrors

While I breathe intoxicants

Into the darkness we go tap dancing on our own graves

Living fast, hard, and dangerous like she used to say

Substance Soaked I Awoke: Episode II - Live Fast, Hard, and Dangerous

I. 

Spend my life sequestered as a

Pest inhaling petrol. Potent

Pressed Methaqualone inside a 

Sack of smack and bones. I think

II. 

I'm sure I'm not alone. I've got

The world inside my phone. A fire

Hazard of a home, and deep

Reserves to keep me stone cold sober

III. 

Saturdays with tattered faces

All alone in this dark basement- 

-More to me to stay alive  

Than to stay sane. Remain deprived 

IV. 

And everything will be alright 

Just draw the blinds and kill the lights

I'm out options, out of fight

I wish that this would end tonight

V. 

But why today, why not last year? 

Why push through that and give up here? 

I'll spare the sword and leave the spear

Stuffed in my skull from ear to ear

VI. 

So I'll be here tomorrow

Maybe if I push the sorrow down

I'll make it out my cold coffin 

And touch ground every so often

Substance Soaked I Awoke: Episode III - Apathetic Indifference Saves Lives

# I.  
   
I flipped the world off when I came out swinging
   
Y'all can fuck off, drugged if I'm singing. 
   
It's a nightmare I'm living. I've been given no choice.  
   
It's get high or die. I've done lost my voice.  
  
Screaming at the walls. 

Man, I've lost it all. 
   
Ain't no turning back, but I've got feet to fall. 
 
I should've offed myself 5 years back instead of living with what I do

The fucks sober? I can't get through 
   
# II.  
    
To the mainstream, but I've hit the pain scene

Harder than that prick kicked me when I was just 14. 
   
“Morphine” is what I scream in my dreams.  
   
Only to wake up to a hellscape worse than I could conceive. 
  
# III.   
     
I breathe, every so often, but I swear I've fucking lost it 
   
The points coming across are getting scary, and it's costing me
   
Dearly to see life less clearly, but I know you hear me and I can't just stop.  
   
# IV.

Dropping droppings melodically, and assaulting sonically the ears of those unlucky few who made the mistake to follow me. 
  
Drop suspension gets a mention for its role in reinvention. 

Killed the bastard that I was   
    
Now let's talk perception 
   
# V  
   
Acid soaked albeit broke, my brain is what I most fear.    
   
I ate a thousand baby wood rose seeds in under a year.   
   
My ego and sense of self up and disappeared. 
    
Input to my nerves was clipping like my shit lavalier. 
      
# VI>
   
Now I never said it was fun to get me here 
   
Most of my trips were misery, unending tears 
      
And spears, pain that felt like it lasted years   
   
But if I can survive that and somehow steer    
      
This speeding car straight while my mind says “veer” 
   
Stop the bleeding heart. Break down in publicg 
   
Here, I'll admit that I've been permatripping 2 whole years. 
   
But I've never seen life so clear.  
   
# VII.    
     
Eugina Cooney, know ending won't be soothing. 

I've been bending all the rules and breaking down like enzymes, 

Baker Acting a fool. 
   
Tool with DragonSpeak, 

Inject the leaves, 

Eject deceased identities 
     
Don't pity me. 
   
Fuck you think I've been headed? Forever indebted to credit card companies    
   
And girls who made the mistake of trying to love me.  
  . 
# VIII.    
      
When I was pushing 20, life was pushing to shove me, out the windows, off the ledge-   
   
Is there some sense inside this head?   
    
Or is it empty like my bank account? Shout till someone hears me,   
   
Somebody call 911. I swear that this is the one that's gonna- 
   
Don't be dramatic now, you know how this goes    
   
If they can't treat shit at the hospital, better to die at home alone 
   
Leave the recorder on all night, so they can know
   
After the fact that I was screaming for a reason. Let go. 
     
# IX.    
  
If it'll kill me it'll kill me, but if I call they'll bill me
   
Either way I'm still me. 
   
Don't get sick. If you do, die quickly

Don't Get Sick, If You Do Die Quickly

Hyperalgesic asshole. Bum notes and dumb quotes.
   
Newer tracks go here, for now at least. soundcloud.com/thehippiecripple

Substance Soaked I Awoke: Episode II - Live Fast, Hard, and Dangerous

Lost In The Sauce