# I

These thoughts they sit up on the shelf

And the earthquakes do make it shake

The whole world buckles, vibrations  reverberate 

While I'm an atheist in theory, sky daddy ain't seen me clearly

Since I hung myself with headphones and smothered myself with.my.front.door-

# II

Wake up (gasp) on the ocean floor. 

What's the main pain, man what's in store? 

Is it in brain or in the score of people who got out the door

Just going up? 10 floors at least

Nailed on the head, now he's at peace

Can call us dead junkies, we're worth less than them is what they said

# III

By pushing subs with bloody fingers 

Load the clip and PROP the singer up with sedatives so he can get a bit prophetic 

Poetic license revoked for driving those metaphors home stoned 

Can't even commit to suicide, plans postponed

# IV

Procrastinating on creating one more problem for the person who won't solve them

Lasting memories of envelopes of fentanyl-ways on me

Never in me. Exit scam the world. Man I never inhaled

K turns and carfent made me feel safer, flushed untouched much later 

# V

A music industry major. 

"Useless piece of paper," she said to me

"You know it's true, it's just a scam you fell for at 17" 

Hofstra's cats all go to heaven

19 going on 11 failed attempts

She never told a soul until they put her in that hole

# VI

And she was angry at the world, at all the boys and girls

She knew that fucked her up, and those she didn't know, she wasn't looking up

To meet. She and I were silent partners in this scheme 

To get the fuck out of this bad dream

# VII

I tried screaming but it didn't change shit

The lithium just made me sick 
and shaky

Facilitating manipulation by the ones created

Monsters with mental problems 

4 fucking percent

The odds against us 

25 to 1

You don't succeed, you will wake up

# VIII

In a hospital bed, women fail more than men

But women more often attempt, and self harm multiplies by 10 

The rate that people try it

Die. It's so simple when you don't think about  it
 
Anyone crying over spilt milk personified? I fucking doubt it

# IX

I lost my mind just a couple of times

Sanity it never came my way, but I've been getting by

Monthly payments still enslaving

Cost of living this insane inside a world where all I can produce is evidence of past abuse

# X

And substance use while adolescent, 

Pumped and juiced on Ritalin 

The speed patch in 5th grade

To vyvanse like all day

I lost the plot and found a bench

The junkies told me get a tent

The shelters that I came and went

Insane inside were lumpen-

# XI

-Spent the rent on fent and dug a hole 

Just big enough for my tortured soul

Dissociate. Dissect untold

Identities I stole

It's all I've got just breathing still

My pride was the most bitter pill 

To swallow, wallowing away

Life's better if I keep these thoughts deep in a cave

Underwater Cave Diving for the Uninsured

The first single from the new album "Monkey Suit"! To be in the music video, check this link: http://www.billyrowan.co.uk/star-in-the-official-video-for-last-chance-to-dance/

Pre-order the album here!
https://undercoverhippy.bandcamp.com/album/monkey-suit-2

Last Chance To Dance

I wrote this song following the riots that took place across the UK in 2011. It was a response to the way in which our Government and media chose to demonise the young people involved, looking for an easy scapegoat, rather than looking at the social conditions and inequality that led us to that point.

Our Streets

Don't Buy It

Cumstain on the Sofa (ft. Jack Bird)

i've never called a hotline in my life
but i've wanted to die quite a few times
you say i do this to myself
i say go to hell

you hang up and i cry myself to sleep
morning comes and i pretend we're happy as can be
you go off and slowly forget me

if i have to spend one more day waiting for something to happen
i'm gonna die
parts of me are scared for my health
and parts of me are ready to say goodbye

i don't mean to worry you but i'm running out of time
and i don't mean to worry you but i don't know how to just be alive

come hold me like you used to
you hate me but i still need you

i guess i'm sorry
i'm sorry
i'm sorry
i'm sorry

i love you
i love you
i love you
i'm sorry

i hate me
i hate me
i hate me
i hate me
i hate me
i hate me
i hate me
i hate me

you make me
hate me
hate me
hate me
you make me
hate me
hate me
hate me

god, god
god
god?
god, god
god
if you're out there set me free
if you're out there leave me be

give me back the one i need
give me back the one i need
make me feel something besides apathy

i need you to save me

last resort

EVERYDAY 6:10:19

songs i made in my bedroom. this is my space.

Brighter Days

Mostly complete demo of an Indie/Emo song with no vocals

Sarsaparilla

Hyperalgesic asshole. Bum notes and dumb quotes.
   
Newer tracks go here, for now at least. soundcloud.com/thehippiecripple

Underwater Cave Diving for the Uninsured

Lost In The Sauce

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