I’ve always loved music. My dad would play opera and classical on my mom’s belly. I was a classically trained musician  oboist (a hundred years ago since I’ve touched one but still). I’ve always remembered listening to all types of music a lot of freestyle, pop, salsa, opera, spiritual, and of course nature. I’ve always been very much someone who always felt out of place or like whatever I would say I saw or heard was my imagination or a dream. Well I beg to differ, ET would come pick me up in the ship and we would go and fly to Puerto Rico because I wanted to see the coast line which was where I knew all of my great grandparents and my grandpa were. I had even remembered recently I had asked him if we could bring mama because she was pregnant with my brother and times were really very tough! I go to the beach at Coney Island to clean it and talk towards the cosmos, my honorary uncle and one of my godfathers ET has come to visit me and find out why I’m so sad and always in pain; had sparked my heart again to believe and remember that I am special. That being Padishah Emperor was meant for me to be and to have the best life possible. That all of my dreams like being a prince like Aladdin to get mama and Tony away from New York and to the palace so we could be safe and have food and animals all the time could happen. Music had always been a way for me to feel and block out the hatred, the bullying, the fear of being attacked, to have confidence and make it thru the worst times of my life like being gaslit and gang stalked in New York City after the man who raped me said he had the power and would always make sure he would inflict his wrath on me and would always know where I was because of his rich white men who will gladly follow his requests to make sure I have nothing or will never have real relationships because I was to be alone and miserable so I could kill myself. So a pair of roller board Christian louboutins (I hustled really hard to pay for them) and bodak yellow by cardi B would give me confidence and would give them something to look at. That besides the feeling of wanting to die inside…those followers and bullies could remember that they are the dust me and my very expensive shoes are slaying all the way through to where I was getting to. Just the other day I was feeling really badly. I’m always told I’m weird, or I’m looked at because I’m doing something unusual or making a funny face or my tapping and starting to hear and see everything but louder and brighter and it’s all overstimulating…I usually put music loudly in my ears and try to lose myself. Well I had school starting again I had no snacks and with school i must have certain things in order to be successful especially my snackies and Pepsi. Well I couldn’t help it and tears are uncontrollable, the hitting myself, rubbing my legs,  and tapping and all of these things are happening in public forced me to get into my apt put on the camera record. When I ate the potatoe chip and drank the Pepsi I began to feel like I was flying. So I looked something up to see if I was right…no formal diagnosis but it said I have many autistic symptoms and tendencies and need to be evaluated and I do have adhd and ptsd and anxiety and depression and ocd. It made sense and it put everything into perspective. I always remembered little angel stop staring off into space or hello mc fly or earth to angel. I hate my name because it’s not enough. Just like when I drowned those times went to nirvana and feel it’s appropriate to have a name that I feel is justified but very much SPANISH the only place where I had the first feeling ever feeling like I was worth existing because I saw a crest with a lion that had a crown and thought “I come from that” or seeing palaces and saying wow that’s nice. Now it’s really more like F U jerk for saying Puerto Ricans can never be royalty and will always be on the welfare line. I also have begun to really get into my art and wrote a children’s book

Movement Initiate / Queer Body Revival
-The 360 Emergence

Record label from Naarm/Melbourne, est. 2020

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