ive become aquainted well with the morning sun
well maybe all of this aint quite so bad
glancing at your sleeping face makes me feel so excited
about whats next to come past these fleeting moments

is this what you felt?
is this what you felt?
is this what you felt when you gushed about
watching clouds go by before the first train in the morning

take me by the hand

take me by the hand (2021 demo)

Paul Walker Runtz 🚗💨

lyrics:
(bg vocals: confidence) 
i wanna leaveee
i wanna stop grieving

i cant disappoint them
but, i am so self conscious 
how, will I accomplish, this.....

Heal Heal Heal (vent song)

working on the muddiness

Sometimes I look at the garden I let burn
And wonder if I let those flowers bloom again
Would they spread love or ache in my rough hands
Or take the petals up to into the hills and spread 
the love across a mountain lake

Love left me in an eggshell
Love left me with no way back home 
Wandering through the woods alone  

it takes so long when you're left waiting for the end, when it's all that's left
I remember that new years I thought I'd finally figured you out
 
The hive is dead and still the buzz goes on and on
Love lives in a waspnest
Soft and sweet
gnawing in my chest
digging through the night for a body I cannot find again

The hive is dead and still your buzz goes on and on
Love lives in a waspnest
Soft and sweet
Ashen clots to stay this hurt inside my chest
Love lives in a waspnest 

I don't want to stay
Digging the same grave   
Pulsing in my chest
Buzzing in my ears
The wasps now begin
To come up from my skin

I never thought I'd find myself there, in the woods with nothing but a coarse string to bribe me back home
I wandered in the woods for years until I found them, their own string trailing behind them, just as lost, but eyes equally determined.
The following months there was some odd comfort, though our strings gathered and no longer pointed home, that was somehow okay, to wander aimlessly.
Their strings were tattered, chewed by moths, knotted, breathing, and fucking buzzing something like a wasp nest, frayed yet freakishly beautiful 
And as soon as it began it was over, again the woods had become a lonely place

love lives in a waspnest

Love Lives In A Waspnest

steps in the forest
this pain is abhorrent
climbing down the ladder
with a crucifix before it

my heart’s not the purest
its just so discordant
attracted it to you
my entire being is in orbit

pull me in , im about to crash
how much longer can what we have last ?

my fuel reserves are beyond depleting
im not sure how much longer my heart can go on beating

steps in the forest
this pain is abhorrent
climbing down the ladder
with a crucifix before it

my heart’s not the purest
its just so discordant
attracted it to you
my entire being is in orbit

steps [apt9 + mvc b]

Before Sleep

i've never felt
this empty before
cry to myself
fade out once more

wait for the day when i see you again
am i in love? am i playing pretend?
call out to me as a means to an end
who is there to blame when you run out of friends?
distracted and helpless
i vanish so selfishly
your magic is working
i'm panicked and worsening
why did they leave? what am i doing wrong?
where can we meet when you're already gone?
why am i here, staying up until dawn?
waiting out here, waiting ever so long
i'm sorry, i fucked up
i'm sorry, there's no trust
i'm sorry, so helpless
distracted and selfish

i've never felt
this empty before
cry to myself
fade out once more
i've never felt
this empty before
cry to myself
fade out once more

it's enough to tempt me
leave me feeling empty feelings
i know satan sent me
it's enough to send me reeling
i'm just waiting for you
text and i ignore you
rain and let it pour through
talk to me like poor you

i'm sorry, i fucked up
i'm sorry, there's no trust
i'm sorry, so helpless
distracted and selfish

overapologetic (feat. delcada)

slumbparty b

leave it all behind
strive for another life
do you really want to know the price?

dreams dust evaporating from your soul
turn away from all that take you back
self intact

dreams dust evaporates away
fractured memory contorts your face

stasis chamber

aoyama station

Nelly

solo project

one eye is shut and the other one's completely crushed

Love Lives In A Waspnest

Lazy Eyelids