coming back years later and I'm doing so much better, thank you

the most powerful lyrics ive ever heard in a very long time

💔 this bring me back memories. of my baby and I listening to this. now it's just memories.rip baby

Still stuck in my emo phase
Lyrics:


I've got the whole world on my back

Yeah, cause I'm 5'9, 165 
Established 1995 
Living like I'm not getting out alive 
Ima take a second just to tell you why 

I had thoughts since 6th grade 
That this world was not made for the sake 
of the people like me 
who can't see past their mistakes, and  misdeeds 

And I bleed the same blood you bleed
So why are you tryna cut me? 
Why's there always something you want from me?
Why can't you be happy for me?

That I'm not that kid on the phone screaming fuck this world I'm leaving? 
Like when I was sixteen and,  it still feels like I'm dreaming
When I call your phone and realize I forgot to breath in 
Forgot the grave that he's in 
I hope you know I mean it 

When I say I'm only here today cause this music keeps me breathing 
It's my only healing

I'm not alone if you can feel it

I'm not alone, if you know the bliss 
When i  heard that girl don't slit her wrists no more
From that time I reminisced at my show 
Told her there's reasons to stay don't go 

Don't push your family away I know 
They don't understand all the pain you hold 
Im just as sad know you're not alone 
Don't let your story go untold 





 I know you're here in spirit, put on deja entendu 
The only time I'm sad now is when I think of you
I hope one day these kids get some of my lyrics tattooed 
But If I only help one of them then I did it for all you 
I don't know how she's doing, no we haven't stayed in touch 
But I helped her put the knife down and that means so fucking much
I hope one day these kids get some of my lyrics tattooed 
But If I only helped one of them then I did it, I did it for you

I Hope You Know I Mean It

prod @notmorgn

listen on youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gd_Xqqx_St8

whats wrong or whats right
im bouta take a flight like should i say goodbye 
fuck that imma hold onto my pride
momma raised a soldier so i can't afford to cry
lookin back i see the knife in my back now
lookin at life wishing i was in the background 
lookin back i see my future in the past now
90 in the whip like should i crash now

im so sick of this im so sick of shit nobody listening 
demons all around diamonds wet just like a christening 
wait why you always high when you call me
why'd u ask what's wrong when you saw me (X2)

chemicals running through my veins i just wanna sleep 
feelings bleeding out my brain but right now i can't feel a thing 
woke up late time to waste away
my favorite days are the rainy days
let it soak in then i throw it all away
i try my best but this feeling always stays
you know i try but you gotta gimme space
and i dont wanna hurt you if you get in my way

(hook)

reach out just to waste my time
its the young waste of space 
with his headphones on
call me when you need me baby
but i know im the last resort
you said that you love me
how the fuck could you just love a ghost
you said that you love me baby
i said we are not that close

(hook)

reach out just to waste my time
its the young waste of space 
with his headphones on
call me when you need me baby
but i know im the last resort
you said that you love me
how the fuck could you just love a ghost
you said that you love me baby
i said we are not that close

im so sick of this

producer. @lightbodyent
guitar written by @Tylerburkhart
https://soundcloud.com/tylerburkhart/i-want-to-drown-in-snow

i don’t mind a thing
hold me close
i know your suffering
i hear it in the way you
say my name
don’t hold back
you know i feel your pain
inside
i don’t want to live
but ill stay alive
i don’t want to leave
so ill make time
you don’t tell the truth
so you make lies
i cried
i cried again
last night flowers in my bed
last night i lost my best friend 
last nights flowers torn to shreds
last night our love wound up dead
i don’t mind a thing
hold me close
i know your suffering
inside
our love subsides i don’t feel right
pin me down you eat my insides
like a spider pull me in
kiss my neck make my blood thin
i don’t mind a thing
hold me close
i know your suffering
i hear it in the way you
say my name
don’t hold back
you know i feel your pain
your pain inside

FREE DOWNLOAD

Last Nights Flowers - (prod. lightbody)

if i die baby (prod. reaper)

Special thanks to https://www.instagram.com/fallingap.art/ for the artwork on this <3
https://twitter.com/sayygoodbyye
https://soundcloud.com/goodbyye

Lyrics:
Fuck you I'm just so mad
Got me feeling so sad
Think about the times we had
Why'd you have to leave like that
Left me all alone in fact
I been lonely holding back
Tears in my eyes looking past
Wishing that this could've last

Writing this letter so I could say
Dearest friend I hope you'll be okay
Think about you each and every day
I'm still wishing that you could've stayed
Want you to know that I'm broken
Hear the words that were never spoken
I was fine until I was awoken
A heart is so fragile when it's stolen

Fuck you I'm just so mad
Got me feeling so sad
Think about the times we had
Why'd you have to leave like that
Left me all alone in fact
I been lonely holding back
Tears in my eyes looking past
Wishing that this could've last

So I'll write this note and then I'll burn it
Let the smoke carry up the words and turn it
To a message from below so you learn it
Thought I wanted death before but now I yearn it
I know you want to go
Please stay I'll be alone
If you leave from this home
Don't go out in the cold

Don't go out in the snow

Please don't leave me alone

I don't want you to go

Please don't leave me alone

why'd you have to go

@mewsyc
@producedbyaidan
@guccihighwaters

yeah im just ur boy toy
fillin up some free time
take me when u wanna
then leave me here to die
i'll keep it to myself now
got me feelin left out
u talk a lot shit like u dont got a lot to hide

numb to the core
yeah, i kill that pain
with a bottle of liqoure
feel it runnin thru my veins
when im not high
or preoccupied
i got thorns in my heart
and a storm roarin in my mind

whats inside my cup
blindsides my brain
so i hide my face
in an act of shame
and hope to dissapear
in a perminant way
u watch me fade to black
u'd love to watch my pain

and u know
who to call
ill b there
after all
and i know
when i fall
u wont care
afterall,

yeah im just ur boy toy
fillin up some free time
take me when u wanna
then leave me here to die
i'll keep it to myself now
got me feelin left out
u talk a lot shit like u dont got a lot to hide

numb to the core
yeah, i kill that pain
with a bottle of liqoure
feel it runnin thru my veins
when im not high
or preoccupied
i got thorns in my heart
and a storm roarin in my mind

yeah, im just a waste
i dont got that much to offer
im selfish and conceeded 
but always put my all
into everyone and everything
then watch it as it falls
let it crumble to my feet
just like everything ive ever loved

yeah, im just ur boy toy
fillin up some free time
take me when u wanna
then leave me here to die
i always knew the truth
u aint even gotta lie
ur the best thing
but im just another guy

im ur puppet and u play me like a game
text from my ex, yeah she never felt the same
use me on a rainy day
abuse me til i cant even think
that picuture that we took
i always kept it safe
id put it in my pocket just so i could see ur face
when i was out of town
u always kept me with u
never told u bout all the times when i would miss u

yeah, im just ur boy toy
fillin up some free time
take me when u wanna
then leave me here to die
i always knew the truth
u aint even gotta lie
ur the best thing
but im just another guy

Follow me <3

boy toy (ft. guccihighwaters) [prod. mewsyc & aidan]

my attempt at self-defense

featuring my friend @guccihighwaters

blackheartemoji
an album from @prodbybrody and thebreathingbackwards

blackheartemoji

spotify

fucking up (ft. guccihighwaters)

amnesia (music video on youtube)

"I gave you everything you ever wanted but you ended up closing the door" - van

SuiSai: @sushisai
Mix/Master: @demxntia
Prod by: @tothegood
Artwork: @suicideoutside (on twitter)

I am performing in LA, July 24th. You can get tickets here: https://www.songkick.com/concerts/38254179-pink-cig-at-1720?utm_source=8123&utm_medium=partner&utm_content=fb4a0d1b9180ab41a80f71c5bea1fa9b&utm_campaign=entity

"When You Tell Me You Love Me, It Doesn't Feel the Same ft. SuiSai”

Lyrics-

When you say me you love me, it doesn’t feel the same anymore
I’m crying on the concrete. I don’t have strength to get up off the floor 

How you gon tell me you love me but it doesn’t feel the same anymore
I gave you everything you ever wanted but you end up closing the door
I’m trying to carry you over my back but your legs keep on dragging the floor
I’m trying my best but I just don’t think we can ever travel back to before
Let me
Fall in love again
Let me
Fall in love again
How you gon’ tell me you love me but it doesn’t feel the same anymore 
Let me
Fall in love again 

Crashing down on my parade
You let me love till you were bored of the game 
Open hearts and shoddy flames
You let me burn in the love that we made 

SuiSai- 
That touch of yours left cinders
Trails of your heart set a flame
Lit like embers
Of our past
Screeching stop sounds like thunder
You were my lightning
Filled my clouds with your patterns
Made the world disappear 
liked it better
Then you left me here
To the forces of the weather
Cause the cold fronts near
But I swear id never let it
Change the way that I feel

How you gon tell me you love me but it doesn’t feel the same anymore
I gave you everything you ever wanted but you end up closing the door
I’m trying to carry you over my back but your legs keep on dragging the floor
I’m trying my best but I just don’t think we can ever travel back to before
Let me
Fall in love again
Let me
Fall in love again
How you gon’ tell me you love me but it doesn’t feel the same anymore 
Let me
Fall in love again

When You Tell Me You Love Me, It Doesn't Feel the Same

When You Tell Me You Love Me, It Doesn't Feel the Same ft. SuiSai (Prod. Tothegood)

explicit

Inquiries to Lilxtramgmt@gmail.com

Snapchat: Zoloftwired

MERCH at link below 

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYqEuND_ZtclJ6RQzzsPtcA

Features Dm me

https://www.instagram.com/lilxtraatl/?hl=en

I Hope You Know I Mean It

Lil Xtra

Recent comments

Benjamintheblind

Annalious

ℕø𝕥𝕐𝕠𝕦

nicky :(

Related tracks