produced by king theta 

not sure if i like it but im posting it anyway

lyrics: 

why do i feel this way
like nobody knows that im real
afraid, that no one will miss me when im away
they talk about me like they know my name

tears come in tidal waves
alyssa she told me that im okay
ill miss her but im better off this way
im hurting these feelings i try to shake

stuck in my head tears on my bed
i take back everything i had said
stuck in my brain dont look the same
i fell for you over again

im not tryna throw shade but you told me you love me 
you told me you told me you told me
you wont leave you told me to trust you, you told me dont worry 
i worried i worried i worried i did

and now look at me 
just watch as i bleed
just watch as i fall
just watch as i crawl 

right back to you baby i know you dont care about me like you said that you did but i need you right now and i swear ill do better this time… this time

but im still learning
my heart is burning
our love is fading
and im still waiting for you

so come back 
it hurts so bad
my tears they wont last
but my bloods gone black

so why do i feel this way
like nobody knows that im real
afraid, that no one will miss me when im away

why do i feel this way
like nobody knows that im real
afraid, that no one will miss me when im away
they talk about me like they know my name

eliasz (king theta)

curses & other horrible things

feat. @hkfiftyone2 been listening to hk since early hs this is a bucketlist feature.

produced by - autrioly  

lyrics:

(me)
will you stay with me
girl will save me from my self
will u take me
will u pray for me
are you all i need
because girl i gotta come clean
your all i need
but u had to leave

ur like a drug
im like a fiend
im lost on this road looking for a meaning
i go manic and start micro managing
its been 8 months
seasons are changing
but people arent changing 
and i am acting out why the fuck arent i behaving
and i know you hate me 
but i miss u lately
but i know you hate me
but i know you hate me
and u replaced me
now im drinking and parting until my hands go shaky
thas how its been lately

(hk)

girl just tell me why you left
i know the answer and it makes sense
i really cannot blame you
but then why i got this hate then

in my heart, nevermind
its not hate, its just pain
and the understanding
that we just had to split one day

but i hope youre doing good
i say it in every single song
and every time i kneel down
you're in my prayers straight up to God
because the truth is that i care
but i aint got no fucking zen
im just living how im living
probably wont see you again

(me)
will you stay with me
girl will save me from my self
will u take me
will u pray for me
are you all i need
because girl i gotta come clean
your all i need

(hk)
but u had to leave
you had to leave
you had to be, half my soul will heave
every time i breathe, everything i sing
i cant get no peace, i cant play no keys
i cant write no shit, i cant get no sleep

stay [feat. HKFiftyOne] (autrioly)

long nights of the figting and its been getting old 
so you packed up boxes and you said hit the road
jack all in my system you try to play yhe victim 
but
the writings on the ceiling,
the walls were just depleting 

i try to be my best and im doing all i can 
but im falling the thru the floor 
and im sinking where i stand 
its hard to cope with less and i hope you understand that im nothing more than flesh if i couodnt be your man

winter cold tells me something thay i dont know
wind chill on my heart sub zero word to homie nick i tried but not a hero 
tried to make a list but i left it up in reno
i don’t know whats gotten into you but i cant help but wonder why you lost our love 
i know im not enough x2

yeah i know its hard x2


long nights of the figting and its been getting old 
so you packed up boxes and you said hit the road
jack all in my system you try to play the victim 
but
the writings on the ceiling,
the walls were just depleting 

i try to be my best and im doing all i can 
but im falling the thru the floor 
and im sinking where i stand 
its hard to cope with less and i hope you understand that im nothing more than flesh if i couodnt be your man

guess i couldn’t be your man
3 years gone now i dont know who i am
but i know its hard
but i know its hard

flesh [sorrow bringer]

Gone Be Fine!

you don't wanna fuck with me ill put you in the limelight
try and make a scene, but your bitch says that its alright
bring her to crib, on a cold rainy night
then i looked her in the eyes, i can tell that she's all mine

pour up
another cup
baby this is my night
don't start fight
with me cause your time spent
in my life
is gonna be the best years
of your life

remember when we kids
couldn't see you at your crib
cause your parents didn't let you hang with boys it made me so pissed
pretty every night
7 passed and dimmed the lights
22 im trading every friend i have to make you all mine

all alone
going through this life
with a wife and some kids 
i dunno if its right

flip the 9
ima put it on its head
ima throw you into bed
never worry bout the things we did

i feel the agony flowing through my blood
i feel the heat coming through my lungs 
i feel the burn from the drugs in my gut
this shit was never really fun
i am on my way

sat out in the rain on the bench in the night
lost my job cause we got into a fight
then it rains and it pours on my soul every time
love is agony i really didn't think about it twice

you don't wanna fuck with me ill put you in the limelight
try and make a scene, but your bitch says that its alright
bring her to crib, on a cold rainy night
then i looked her in the eyes, i can tell that she's all mine

pour up
another cup
baby this is my night
don't start fight
with me cause your time spent
in my life
is gonna be the best years
of your life

agony (prod. santana)

it hurts, the weight on my chest
it burns, the tears that i shed
i want to breathe, but im dead
i cant take it, i'm sawing my head off

i spend my days just trying to figure out whats wrong with me
between the breakdowns and compulsions from the OCD
is borderline a good excuse for when i dont agree
im boiling on the inside, im Discouraged, you would never see

anxiety, throwing up like every morning
cause the moment that my eyes open im retching without warning
always think of suicide and then imagine how they're mourning
but i promise i wont do it, it's just thoughts they're getting boring

it hurts, the weight on my chest
it burns, the tears that i shed
i want to breathe, but im dead
i cant take it, i'm sawing my head off

man im so used to this shit i think i just be getting numb
ill stay attached forever if you show me bit of love
ill follow your whole trail, i be picking up the crumbs
really thinking you wont hurt me, how the fuck i be so dumb

why my stomach always hurting, feel it now writing this verse
im always feeling sick, and my brain always on alert
i never get a break i feel my body always hurt
cant keep up with my head, theres way too many fucking words

it hurts, the weight on my chest
it burns, the tears that i shed
i want to breathe, but im dead
i cant take it, i'm sawing my head off

what's wrong with me

whats wrong with me

lyrics ⬇️

time flies by i know
make the life you wanna unfold
one eye looking down the rifle
countless tries they got me going thru a cycle

tbink back when i was young i would go hunting in the woods
grandpa taught me that yhe guns are only used for doing good
why is everybody toting all their guns up in the hood
i really think that i would change the world if i feel that i could

love, peace thats all that we need
everybody hates a single feeling of defeat

i always try my best to tell em how i feel
i dont like to crash the parties
i dont like to pop the pills
gimme paranoia 
used to gimme thrills
made me trapped made me stuck feelin ill
“whats up, poor a cup” no deal
maybe thats the reason i feel how i feel

they said that i gotta learn how to live
i wish that i could get past all the tricks
but i know nobodys an idol
so vital, the fact that you can lie tho

nowdays i think that honesty really got an appeal
theyll take ur heart when u think that they dont steal
yea you really gotta watch out 
cuz theyre gon tell you that you shouldnt ever fear

paranoia hits me in my ears
talking all the time thinking bout the years
i dont wanna think that you were ever even mine
you were with my peers 
it was clear

now i know what really came to my demise
but i dont wanna hear what i should really hear
always try to cover every single little lie
cuz i dont wanan kneel where we used to lay
but when its all uncovered ik how youll rlly feel
ill look up in the sky and hope ur still alive
im feeling really horrible and skippin all my meals
cuz i know im the guy that ruined ur whole life

nobody told me it wpuld be this hard
fell to my knees cuz it was ruined from the start

always felt like i need backup
yea but that aint even really rational 
could blame it all on bad luck
you know this life gets so personal

peace. (cl6udy x splashgang)

Lyrics:

I’d give my all for you Whatever you want me to just say the word and I’ll give you control You fill the void that’s inside of my soul I’d give my all for you Whatever you want me to just say the word and I’ll give you control You fill the void that’s inside of my soul I’ve been okay Life’s been a wreck since you got in my way All my decisions revolve around you When I close my eyes all I see is your face I see your face You’re all I need Nothing else matters when you’re next to me All my decisions revolve around you I don’t need blood if you’re my family it all comes back to you it all comes back to you I’d give my all for you Whatever you want me to just say the word and I’ll give you control You fill the void that’s inside of my soul I’d give my all for you Whatever you want me to just say the word and I’ll give you control You fill the void that’s inside of my soul let go, let go all of the secrets you always said I wouldn’t hold I know, I know Every single thing that led us deep into a hole you never will change, too hard to maintain I do the same thing, check back in the mainframe too many pieces, too many reasons, just another regret I couldn’t keep it but it all goes back to you follow the trail and that’s what I’ll do eaten alive, didn’t want it to it’s just the end of the line, and that’s all I knew I’d give my all for you Whatever you want me to just say the word and I’ll give you control You fill the void that’s inside of my soul I’d give my all for you Whatever you want me to just say the word and I’ll give you control You fill the void that’s inside of my soul

all for you

all for you w/ Two:22 (prod. demxntia x imjustjoey)

i cant believe im back here again
by myself i never got no friends
isolate, i cant keep up with trends
im busy fighting demons in my head

its been a long road down, im at the end
finally broke i found i cannot bend
i just want to finally make amends
right now with this letter that i send

im so sorry, anything that ive done
if life is a game then i lost and it won
at the end of the day we all have setting suns
i know it seems soon, im not running, im done

if there was only one thing i could say to you
i thank you for the smiles, really got me through
cant look up in the sky cause i see the moon
but theres solace in the knowledge that ill be there soon

i float up, straight up to the moonlight

"up in heaven always seemed so boring"
tell myself while im in purgatory
thought my soul would float up til im soaring
instead im just rotting, no restoring

finally sleep, cause its peaceful now
not a peep, body feeble now
life went fast, but its speeding now
i had a plan, i dont need it now

back here again

why do i do this to myself?
i never learn, it's fucking hell
i don't think that i'm doing well
and if i wasn't, i couldn't tell

will i get back on my feet
will i sleep out on the street
if i don't make it the way i thought that it would be

i should just keep my distance
i say it but nobody listen
i'm a pit, it's a dark existence
i can do it myself, i don't need no assistance

oh yeah, he's big talk and big dreams
oh yeah, he's new things and big schemes
all i'll leave is probably a legacy
for a second until they forget me

will i get back on my feet
will i sleep out on the street
if i don't make it the way i thought that it would be

Why Do I Do This To Myself

WHY D0 ! D0 TH!$ T0 MY$3LF

22 | my music isnt for everyone but I make what i feel like and express my emotions.

journey into the abyss

@scarsonline

stay [feat. HKFiftyOne] (autrioly)

m4rsyy

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