this is a song that for a while was the closer to the album proper until i realized that it was a dumb idea and switched to warbling over omnisphere strings (aka yearn). this is me yelling over omnisphere pianos so at least you know which route u will want to take. i do like the melody tho my friend nick said it sounds like the rugrats theme song, but tom pickle or whatever didn't make an album full of bangers did he

seen u since

this is a song that is entirely too fucking long, but eh. always been a sucker for those long ass pretentious songs that pack so much dramatic bullshit into one song that even olivia rodrigo would be like "damn bro we get it you're young and sad".

to explain it bluntly and take some of the fun away from listening, it's a two part song that covers my cavalcade of mental illness. paranoia, hallucinations, and the eventual misdiagnoses that ruined me for a long time. i did a lot of really wrong shit that i am ashamed of, partly because i was untreated for a lot of afflictions that i didn't know i really had. couple that with the already dope insecurities that consume me, a faulty moral compass, and drugs and it's a recipe for a mars zolo that truly fucking sucked to both be around and be for a number of years. then i changed doctors and this bitch was like THEY PUT YOU ON WHAT. i went to hella therapy, and now i'm significantly less mentally broken. the song also functions as a letter to a girl that i'd been desperately in love with for years, writing so many songs about, and then realizing that that time's passed and she's happy and i have to move on.

AFFECTIVE/OK W U

this is a song i created after a fever dream where i listened to bright eyes and 808s & heartbreak and created its disabled love child

yearn

this is a song that was supposed to feature my good buddy vibrancy, but then my ego got ahold of me and kicked his goofy ass off. in reality, i rewrote the song after i got my heart stomped on (see the incredibly compelling tale of my hit song "frowny face") so i could at least harness the fact that i am simply not good enough into a song. it's actually one of my favs on the tape, and all she has to show for it is unrequited love for someone who probably can't make whiny autotune songs for all his friends on discord

parked outside

this is a song heavily based on (read: a borderline cover of) the song "drop" by blue october, a band fronted by a man named justin. those dots connect themselves. he wrote the song about an acid trip, but i wrote it about heroin because i'm updating it in a way us millennial/gen z kiddos can relate to. i talked to a girl who did whippits for a while so maybe i'll write about that next. i guess it's also bc my past heroin addiction is my only personality trait musically. i gotta milk it and i've never done acid so here's what you get

drop (ode 2 justin)

this is a song i literally could not come up with a name for, so i just put down how the process of titling it made me feel. it is called "frowny face" phonetically and i will not hesitate to sue a motherfucker who mispronounces it. 

funny story about the song itself. i wrote it for a girl, but like as soon as i started getting this tape ready, she told me she was in love with someone else. so basically, she dropped a bomb on me that not only hurt my lil heart, but i could have wrote an entire fucking ALBUM on how sad it made me but she decided to do that shit when i had the tape done instead and halting that process to make something ENTIRELY NEW is a creative adjustment i straight up am not strong enough to make. fuck you k*rah. i'm just kidding i'm not mad at her she's a sweetheart i just have to make her the bad guy so i can convincingly make soundcloud rap. maybe my next album i'll just rap about how i couldn't get hard the one time we had sex and take lil dicky's throne as gen z's new dick centered rap boy

this is a song that was added late to the tracklist all things considered. i was on discord w my good buddy bynx and a mike jones song was playing and i was like "damn i want to make some shit like that i love houston rap" and then i found this sample and it was like wow the stars aligned. i ain't an astrology hoe but i might be after how this shit came about

good thangz

this is a song that i repurposed, from an old project that has been extinguished. i want to tell you that it's just updating an idea that had potential and no execution. but we all know it's out of laziness and a sad acknowledgement that my songwriting abilities have essentially developed alzheimer's, and are now looking at old family pictures to have one last dip in a useful pool of memories before the inevitable cloud of nothingness and "who are you" screams to an underpaid nurse in a retirement home develop

off tha ritz

this is a song that i made several months ago and it managed to be one of the final surviving songs of the original batch that comprised this mixtape.  i think it's stupid and breezy which makes it perfect for this spot. literally nothing better than stupid ass music

the worst

this is a song, of which i'm aware has a painfully derivative styling of its title, that i like because it is brief and does not beat around the bush about what it is attempting to be. it's basically my attempt at soundcloud rap. i'll threaten a girl and get her pregnant next or something.

calloutmyname!!

my first album in three years :))

everything is produced by me. kellen co-produced in our heads tho.

the artwork was made by nara njaa (@_narnja on instagram) and thanks to her for letting me use a photo that just randomly jumped out at me. support ur local artists bc they have great stuff right under ur nose!!!

like the river finds the sea

Mad Icarus

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