mæsk, you such a goat fr fr i wanna kiss you on the cheek virtually

music video
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https://youtu.be/w9Jfkvx8xbY
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prod. beamerboy
..............................
lyrics_
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hates the only way to get through
yeah i say this quite a lot, but i cant even make a move
take a second, wait to breathe
hold, on patient 23
my anxiety was never this bad, it only seems
when i sit, and think about my future, always running free

death was creeping on to me
in my mind,, i could never say what's right
i keep pushing on the knife, let me be, let me breath
disassociate with me
climbing high, cause i cant see
where am i suppose  , to be
hate just keeps waiting, on me

hates the only way to get through
yeah i say this quite a lot, but i cant even make a move
take a second, wait to breathe
hold on patient 23
my anxiety was never this bad, it only seems
when I sit, and think about my future, always running free

you were pushing on to me
always sexualizing me
always mess a making me
just come decimate me please

patient 23

s/o sendflowrs, afterlife, n jolst go check them out they deserve it
https://linktr.ee/prod.afterlife
https://instagram.com/prodjolst
https://youtube.com/jolst
https://soundcloud.com/sendflowrs
lyrics

falls coming soon
n i already knew
i would feel the same
that i did last june
getting drunk n high
im never satisfied
cmon pour me up my love
lets go for a ride
all these knives in my back i cant walk right
do i gotta think about that
look at the brightside
its fine
im still alive
although i dont wanna be
im just waiting for the time youll take my life from me

take ur time with me
baby its so hard to breathe
im hoping when u break my heart u take my life from me
n when i travel thru the dark would u follow me
because the airs getting colder
the airs getting colder
hate being sober
i hate growing older
i lost my composure
n now im falling over
pulled up in a rover
im leaving in a rover
passed out drunk
im bending over
i dont want u lying when ur looking right in my eyes
but how u play the victim if ur gonna be the bad guy
i dont wanna die girl i promise
i wanna stay right here cuz i love this

falls coming soon
n i already knew
i would feel the same
that i did last june
getting drunk n high
im never satisfied
cmon pour me up my love
lets go for a ride
all these knives in my back i cant walk right
do i gotta think about that
look at the brightside
its fine
im still alive
although i dont wanna be
im just waiting for the time youll take my life from me

(sendflowrs)
oh what a mess ive been
sleeping for weeks in this cold hard bed
i cannot breathe when u call again
n my heart it dies when u talk to him
shes holding me in
please let me go
where have u been
im lost all alone
n these woods are so cold
this lake is my home
if u couldnt swim
i would carry the boat
carry the boat
i swim inside this water like its my home
im drowning here please stay awake stay on the phone
i think ill perish here my baby girl
leave me alone

limbo w/ sendflowrs [prod. afterlife x jolst]

Lyrics:

lights out
i guess im tired
and i been fightin sumthin
im goin silence huntin
i just want a moment, give me a second to hone it
every day that i wake, i gotta sharpen the blade

oh you're takin it back like it was a typo uh
i guess i was never your type then huh
cause you only like em when they love you and then leave but i wasn't that cause i never did mistreat you
you put up your guard, defend
how do we start again
when every conversation we're havin ends in disgust
cause i got insecurities and i know you don't trust
but honestly baby i don't want it to be the end of us

every time that we start to get close you pull away
and i know that i still gotta say it right to your face
but i make time to make sure that i'm around
but you never called, even when i'm not im town
oh i'll stay here even tho i know that it's fake
and i guess that we tried but it's just not aligned to fate
honesty and regret abstained, i think i almost loved you

every body got an opinion, i will just shut down
cause maybe i don't wanna hear you out the picture run mouth
and baby if i'm honest, i think that you should run now
cause ain't it bout that time for us to get close and then bounce out
eyes bled red but i want hazel instead
i'm sorry that i wasn't there when you wished you were dead
axe grind, cut the line, let my neck snap
make sure that it's taut baby won't work if it's slack

overdose license, pure death i siphoned
bro said stick to the tests, don't give a fuck i did the rest
swallowed all dat shit to give my respitory a rest
i was doin shit that'd give a baby hair on chest
and no im not proud, but i escaped from that cloud
shut the fuck up, boy them voices aren't loud
all those numbers on the internet, but you can't pull a crowd
and if we post up on this side then you are not allowed

oh shit i gotta, lie down
im dyin here won't you pipe down
you always said that what goes around comes back
but orbital, that's not how i'd describe my path
cause i just looked ahead and i see distance in my past
and things ain't goin slow your just too used to movin fast
i still got a couple questions i'm afraid to ask
understand i would but right now ima let it pass

a_pattern_of_disaffection_ (secre x splashgvng)

i’ve been meaning to call you 
to tell you everything i said 
but i’m feeling so blind 
and you’re out of your mind 
so it’s best that i leave it 

didn’t mean to fall for you 
you let me go when i was on the edge 
and this waters so cold
i won’t pick up my phone 
when you call, i wont see it 

and i hate this weather 
i just wish it was spring again 
when things were okay
i was off of my meds
and the world had gone crazy 

we just stayed in all day 
and i let you tattoo my hands 
now i can’t look at them 
a pair of black gloves 
heal my wounds, and i hate me 

and i’ll be 
right here 
anything you want you got it 
i’ll be right there 
youre toxic 
it’s not fair 
and the trees outside my house 
are now stripped bare 

i miss spring 
you’re not here
everything’s so temporary 
and its not fair 

your smiles sweet 
i love your hair 
and the smell of your clothes in my room 
it still lives here

spring. (+ pekarot)

@nothingnowheremusic
@killbreanna

what if it’s too late to go back
if it’s too late i won’t know that
maybe today i can photograph
my own suicide wit da kodak

2g of sticky i roll that
to let out the feelings i hold back
sellin my life it’s on rollback
i don’t ever want my soul back
so

believe me i’m okay
i would never lie to you no
believe me there’s no way
that ima let you walk out the door

stand in the doorway
blocking you from leaving your home
you belong here close to me
don’t you leave me out in the cold

don’t leave me out here to rot
don’t believe me when i say i’m okay truly i’m not
i want you back more than i thought
but now it’s too late for me i could never save you a spot

can’t save that spot for you it’s not mine to be savin
i’m not meant for you my heart is truly vacant
i can’t be there for you cant be your safehaven
i don’t wanna do this i refuse to be complacent

its too late, to save, my sanity
you cant, expect, any change

too late (nothing, nowhere. x kill breanna)

shoutout my homie for bein on this! @notaheroo

lyrics:

i’ve been drowning my sorrows in the bottom of bottles
she said i should relax and not to go full throttle 
baby just calm down and i’ll be gone by tomorrow
you say your heart has been hollowed

but have you looked at me lately?
i’m the one who needs a saving grace
her eyes they pierce so painfully
i see your face and i’m back in that place

they’ve left me with nowhere to go
i’ve been broken down and on my own
my shoulders are crushed from the weight of it all

and you’ve been laughing at me waiting for me to fall
and i lack the motivation to force myself to crawl
you held back information knowing that it’s your fault
clarification is shown behind the walls
a now known revelation planned to kill my soul

it’s hard not to fold 
underneath the mold
of what i was always told and what i’m feeling
the seasons are changing again

oh, changing again
oh, can you tell me where the times been?

(notahero)

can u hear me coming baby?
open up the front door
i know time is infinite
but i don’t think i got much more
my bones and back grow sore
u tell me i should fight
pain gets defied when i look up in ur eyes
sorrow gets diffused into energy all u gotta do is fight
it’s hard enough waking up
be my saving grace tonight
anxiety riddles me when i feel my lungs fucking up
the pressure belittle me when i don’t think that i’m blowing up
but riddle me this baby
how come i ain’t never show no signs of giving up?

full throttle w/ notahero (R3DQX x Luffy)

1st single of the ep _underground prod. secre 

lyrics

i been waiting for the storm to hit 
a couple months now
she won’t let me know its more than lov now
cant stop th fire when its burning house
what goes around comes around

baby its not u its jus th fact my heart comes a live in the night time
i come alive in the night with a scythe out
she want me to grab the fucking torch
but there might be more pain here afterwards

i said i love but i dont know why
it still hurts when the, when lights go out
sometimes i really cannot tell if im alive now
i breathe out fire in a crowd 

i got these dreams 
i found a lion that can speak
i found a body it was me
now I don't really know wtf that means 
but ik u don't know how u really mean to me

i exhaled fire from my lungs
exhale fire from my lungs
i been fried every night

i breathe fire every night
every night,every night
and now im looking at the sky
coz i need fire for a song

but if u listen closely youll know im not the one

ive had lotta loss 
i have lotta fake love
she’d tell me bounce and i couldnt tell u what the day was

well i been faded im on planets 2,3,4 
ive lost count i couldnt even tell u anymore

i love how it taste now
baby i love u, i won’t wait now
she said she need me to say it loud
but 20 odd years i been on my own

dream wrld

dream_wrld (secre x jolst)

wanted this forever, i've been wishing
packed it up in boxes moving east to try and fix it
silent with your parents
i know they'd never say it

focus on the changes, growing in the silence
hard to even recognise my body from the mileage
everything you're scared of
but what if it was made up?

tracing on your arm, getting closer to the lookout,
ripples in the water, we've been kicking in since sundown
to live in this forever
what if i never get better?
cause i can't take it anymore
i can't take it anymore
i can't take it anymore

does anybody know?
the only thing i asked you
lose it when you say
'does anybody have to?'
cause i've been in the dark
but never so invested
to hide it from the world
what i thought had been the best thing

and maybe it just fizzles out on hollow ground
scars that we had made in doubt, ashamed of now
your body in the darkness
like anything could stop it
and i just hate this fucking town and what we found
now my hairs been falling out, i think about
anything to hold you
and know that you were there too

cause i can't take it anymore
i can't take it anymore
i can't take it anymore

cause i can't take it anymore
i can't take it anymore
i can't take it anymore

Can't Shiver

prod. secre swallowtail x heyrick
feat. casperrr & shizukesa.
art. my friends cat LOL

lyrics:

(please just tell me now, that you would hear the sound, of my voice calling out, so that i can be found)

and i can feel my heart sink in the rain now
so cold thinkin that i might breakdown
feelin lost, feelin lonley, and nobody’s around
and in this storm the waters rising and i think i might drown
please just tell me now, that you would hear the sound
of my voice calling out, so that i can be found

please just tell me now, that you would hear the sound
of my voice calling out, so that i can be found
but no matter how many times i might scream
it doesn’t mean ur any closer to finding me
so now ur looking for a ghost
just give up you’ll never be close

(please just tell me now, u r looking for a ghost)

(caspy)

nana~
can you help me now
pick me up from the ground
i hate loving in doubt
cuz that's when shit goes south

used to look for some1 like u
now i don't have a clue 
of what the fuck i should
to try and forget u

(shizu)

thoughts fadin like the blood on my palm
she saying shit the same well bitch im already gone
guess all the friends change
cuz they dk what im on
suicidal lil prick im jus a dick of a cunt
just a pussy n**** i quit talkin
steady smoking until hittin coughin
ion need help 2 know im the problem
bullet to the dome woulda solved em
only fuck around inside of FL but by next album im offing me
and honestly, been so sick of the calling me
like fuck out of my head

my heart sinks in the rain w/ casperrr & shizukesa. (secre swallowtail x hey rick)

and these seconds go by like they’re nothing 
and precious is time but means nothing to me 
and these minutes rain down and cause flooding 
my waterproof coat hides the heart on my sleeve 

and i met her last year through her cousin 
it was april or may i don’t know honestly
i was away with the fairies all morning 
and we texted all day and it felt like a dream

now this time i once spent with my darling 
means nothing to her or to me 
oh my god 
how embarrassing for me was blubbing
in front of her mom and like 3 of her friends

and i guess ill be there if you need me 
you don’t have to fake to please me
you can talk to me so sweetly
or pretend that this is easy
it’s a daily rock bottom
so i drown my pain in weed leaves
10KG weights, and tea leaves
and when you hurt me kill discretely, please 

(greenwood)
try to parse through the things that you said
crossed over Madison, i loved you to death
stayed in the winter despite what i need
but we never made it to august heat
eyes on the valley, you asked me to wait
ask of the baggage, it's as is you care
still keep the coat that i got you in spring
i still keep the pictures i'm not even in

i still keep the pictures i’m not even in w/ greenwood (pekarot)

beat by: @blade_901
featuring: @daystowaste

dream_wrld (secre x jolst)

maesk

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