(Everything in this song is satire and a parody)

[Intro]
"you fuck cars?"
"NO?! I said I... chuck Bars? "

[Verse 1]

Hey There! 
Nice to meet you!

We're all friendly here, but kind see through
hope you enjoy the stay, Don't wanna keep you
I think you'll like it here, I know that we do

SO MANY CHOICES
I hope I make the right one
Gear's stickin, brakes slipping
I like to do it with the lights on


[Chorus]

Lumpy, Bumpy, Feeling kinda Funky
She got that ass, Riding round with that Dumpy

Lost my teeth to the sweets, I don't miss them
fuck the Peugeot, trade it out for a Citroen

I'm Single, pringle, my mission is to mingle
fuck her from behind, Booty clapping, its a jingle.

only kidding, we are winning, choke her scratch her, we are sinnin
Tied her to the seat, can you tell they made of linnin?


[Verse 2]

dry spell, matched on tinder
I ain't shameless,
but I am the lord of cinder
yet maidenless,
don't fuck with me, I'm outy
leave it to my car
sloppy toppy,
that's what I call my Audi

lateral,
like a kamikaze pilot
head curving down
collateral,
right into my bitches
big ass apple,

In her like my
purple convertible
shift sticked, it in her
over the hurdle
but the transmission
my mission
electric run
she buzzing
like her toy to
submission


[Chorus]

Lumpy, Bumpy, Feeling kinda Funky
She got that ass, Riding round with that Dumpy

Lost my teeth to the sweets, I don't miss them
fuck the Peugeot, trade it out for a Citroen

I'm Single, pringle, my mission is to mingle
fuck her from behind, Booty clapping, its a jingle.

only kidding, we are winning, choke her scratch her, we are sinnin
Tied her to the bed, can you tell they made of linnin?


[Verse 3]

SHE CHEATING, She got another driver
I just filled her up, spent almost a fiver

wait! I know I have an issue,
Look passed the motor sport mags filled with crusty tissues
Babe I can change your wheels, 
but I cant change you

I struggle with my vehicular afflictions
I'm making love to my car, it is my strange addiction


[Chorus]

Lumpy, Bumpy, Feeling kinda Funky
She got that ass, Riding round with that Dumpy

Lost my teeth to the sweets, I don't miss them
fuck the Peugeot, trade it out for a Citroen

I'm Single, pringle, my mission is to mingle
fuck her from behind, Booty clapping, its a jingle.

only kidding, we are winning, choke her scratch her, we are sinnin
Tied her to the Seat, can you tell they made of linnin?

[outro]
have you ever herd of a Subaru Crosstreck
contact Hobo Johnson for more information at..

Transmission

[Verse]
Woke up in my ocean 
The waves inside my head 
Try to calm the seas down so I can go to bed 

[Verse 2]
Itching in my head case 
Scratches killing me 
Finally found out why they call it bloody Hennessy 

[Chorus]
FUCK THESE STUPID FEELINGS 
I WANT TO BE FREE 
THEY’RE CRAWLING ALL AROUND ME
LEAVE ME FUCKING BE!

RISING TO THE VOICES 
SCREAMING IN MY FACE 
I’LL CRUSH YOU TILL YOU’RE NOTHING BUT STAINS UPON MY GRACE

[Verse 3]
Sipping on the nectar 
The bottle’s been set free 
Won’t go down the same road my mother laid for me 

[Verse 4]
Saving for my future 
The one that I can’t see 
I’m sick of hearing the F word 
Fuck that and fuck me 

[Chorus]
FUCK THESE STUPID FEELINGS 
I WANT TO BE FREE 
THEY’RE CRAWLING ALL AROUND ME
LEAVE ME FUCKING BE!

RISING TO THE VOICES 
SCREAMING AT MY SOLACE
CRUSH YOU TILL KNEES CRASH, BEATEN ON THE FLOOR!

FUCK THESE STUPID FEELINGS 
I WANT TO BE FREE 
THEY’RE CRAWLING ALL AROUND ME
LEAVE ME FUCKING BE!

RISING TO THE VOICES 
SCREAMING AT MY SOUL 
I'LL CRUSH YOU TILL YOU'RE USELESS, BEATEN ON THE FLOOR!

[Last Chorus]
FUCK THESE STUPID FEELINGS 
I WANT TO BE FREE 
THEY’RE CRAWLING ALL AROUND ME
LEAVE ME FUCKING BE!

RISING TO THE VOICES 
SCREAMING AT MY SOUL 
FUCK ME TILL IM USELESS, BEATEN ON THE FLOOR!

[Repeat Verse 3]
Sipping on the nectar 
The bottle’s been set free 
Won’t go down the same road my mother laid for me 

[Repeat Verse 3]
Sipping on the nectar 
The bottle’s been set free 
Won’t go down the same road my mother laid for me 

[Repeat Verse 4]
Saving for my future 
The one that I can’t see 
I’m sick of hearing the F word 
Fuck that and fuck me 

fuck me

11:25

(Everything in this song is satire and a parody)

[Intro]
MMMMmmmmm,
Been thinking about some foods lately,
All these calories been making me crazy
Here's what's been playing on my mind
The foods that I would never leave behind.

[Chorus]
Taste the zest
nipple to the breast
meals in the oven
ready to digest
easting gooseflesh
felling refreshed
smiling wide,
its hello fresh

(verse)
This recipe, has me bricken
gonna go Canadian
spicy maple chicken
fucked my cousin, while playing halo
she's disabled
call her, mashed sweet potato
got that bag, but burnt my jeans
I supposed you could say,
Im roasted green beans

2 potato's, 10 chicken cutlets
imbread my family,
can call us the fuckwits
fry seasoning, and some sour cream
that's what I call comming in my sister,
after she just turned 18
some maple syrup, few chilli flakes
Indian priest,
touched me when I was 8

my life is fucked, my trousers are soiled
sister is pregnant
cant say she is virgin olive oil
now I'm infertile, just spitting out silk
sperms discoloured
call it coconut milk

[Chorus]
Taste the zest
nipple to the breast
meals in the oven
ready to digest
easting gooseflesh
felling refreshed
smiling wide,
its hello fresh

[Verse]
My lips are wet and my Wrist has ice,
Speedy Smokey Chicken and Fried Rice
Gosh these ingredients making me act up, Damn that looks yummy, Shove it in my Mouth hole, Don't give a FUCK!
I ask her "Damn you gunna eat those?"
Cheese, salsa and spicy covered Doritos.

IM GOING TO SLAM MY HEAD AGAINST A WALL, ITS COMING OUT MY ASS, SHIT SPIKEY LIKE DARTH MAUL!
Haven't left the toilet in several days, But thinking bout McCains with Hellmanns's Mayonnaise. 

MY GIRLS PUSSY IS WHAT I'LL BE LICKIN
Family favourite Lemon and Oregano Chicken.
Fucking Aunt Bessie's tight little Bisto
Cant find a word to rhyme so I guess is Fisto

Yummy scrummy in my tummy
I Lika da chocolate it make my bummy runny, 
Fuck these foods make me want feet,
Time to dig in, bon appetit.

[Chorus]
Taste the zest
nipple to the breast
meals in the oven
ready to digest
easting gooseflesh
felling refreshed
smiling wide,
its hello fresh

[Verse]
Seen this bad girl at the store, she look like a honey bun
She brownskin, bad, man, she look like a honey bun
So I had to hit her with the uh, "Where are you from?"
I might have to DM, she a honey bun
Had to hit her up, sweet honey iced tea

Hit this bitch with the black and yellow like Bumblebee
Ain't ever fumble the money that shit callin me
Woke up feelin strong today, Bitch Im Hercules
Go back to school nah, the fuck a Hyperbole

Hello, Fresh

(Everything in this song is satire and a parody)

a life between a wheel chair bound girl, and a horrible guy

[Chorus]
90 miles an hour on the freeway
Eyes crooked, left right, she can’t see straight

Should I give her leeway, no way
car crashes, burning ashes, its what you call
the worst date

This is what can happen when your driving blind,
She once walked the earth, but now she's confined

as for me, my legs are filled with more than just dread
blind cant walk as well, but still getting that bread.

[Verse 1]
Got more metal than a brass band (Wheelchair)
Her wheels are squeaking, that, I can’t stand 
But it’s okay because neither can she
But in her case it’s literally!

Legs do a floppin,
The bed goes a rockin
I do most the work
her mobility is shockin
when we are done, I will be moppin,
the floor is covered, (I'm locked in)
She's spastick, I cant get my cock in

I take her every where I can wheel her
The accessibility here's great, I'm a chauffeur
gets me through the day, all the highs and the lows
Lost grip of her chair on a downhill, THERE SHE GOES!

Oh baby, don't talk dirty to me
mumbles in my ear, "Blub, gub, daboo dabee"
Taking each step (She cant) Day to day
Never getting my license back from the DVLA

I LOVE MY LIFE, with my Spazzy Dork
Like having a girlfriend BUT SHE CANT EVEN TALK
What you on? PIP? Universal credit?
Like her legs are a video, but got cropped in the edit

Oh she's fine, lucky I don't punch her,
One sec man, her wheels had a puncture

[Verse 2]
stairway to heaven I go because I'm fortunate
but she's less fortunate,
now I have her parking spot,
that's what you call being extortionate.
fuck that I'm about to auction it, my hands are tied
need the rent, 
she's already got wheels,
that bitch is paralyzed.

call her vegetables because she's my-side-dish
not side bitch, because she needs me, make-a-wish
never eat her out because she will be smelling-like-fish
dame she really be smelling funny, I will call-her-nish
Kumar, I was joking its just stand-up ma
guess you cant really stand up hu?
common I like her, I took her to the bar
and we can drive it, our place isn't that far

were in the car, going straight ahead
disabled or not she's giving me head
should stop this she's actually sweet toad
ugly as fuck but heading down while she's giving me the rockiest road
she tried giving me a hand job, but her fingers are tangled
hands are broken, bent in both directions, fingers are mangled
but isn't she the one driving? yea she took the wrong turn
in the passenger seat about to watch my world burn.

[Chorus]
90 miles an hour on the freeway
Eyes crooked, left right, she can’t see straight

Should I give her leeway, no way
car crashes, burning ashes, its what you call
the worst date

This is what can happen when your driving blind,
She once walked the earth, but now she's confined

as for me, my legs are filled with more than just dread
blind cant walk as we

Confined

[intro]

Are we sitting comfortably?
…good…
Now listen closely
And pay attention

[verse]

I’m feeling this way 
Get out of my face 
I need a hug 
In circles I pace 
Support would be great 
Fuck off, that shits gay 
No, feelings aren’t gay 
FUCK OFF, THAT SHITS GAY

I’m split personality 
Following twin fallacy
Living a lie, Fantasy 
You got that syndrome?
Yeh, that’s me

[chorus]

Start with ‘Bi’
Not the sexual kind 
Rhymes with pie 
It means two now I find 

Moving to ‘Po’
The panda? No
Teletubbie? Not so 
I give up 
THEN GO 

ending with ‘Lar’ 
Is that a word? Nar
Crashing a car 
Won’t go too far 

Can you make up the word? 
Like day and night, I’m solar  
The meanings obseard
Two in my head…Bipolar 

[verse]
Aww I love you so much 
There’s never a day I don’t 
You’re my crush 

Oh is that the time? 
Get lost, never mind 
I know your my son, but I’m sick of being kind 

Come sit down, let’s have a chat 
I know it’s the other me that you’re angry at 

I don’t mean the words that come out sometimes 
Move before I hit you, Other me wouldn’t mind 

[chorus]

Start with ‘Bi’
Not the sexual kind 
Rhymes with pie 
It means two now I find 

Moving to ‘Po’
The panda? No
Teletubbie? Not so 
I give up 
THEN GO 

ending with ‘Lar’ 
Is that a word? Nar
Crashing a car 
Won’t go too far 

Can you make up the word? 
Like day and night, I’m solar  
The meanings obseard
Two in my head…Bipolar

[verse]

I said what I meant
And I meant what I said 
I hate how I hate being alone in my head 

Contradictions here I come, to the lone existence of where I am from 

I don’t mean to push you away, I really am sorry, 
No go play in the road and get hit by a lorry 

[bridge]

**Robotic voice**
Bipolar disorder causes mood extremes,
Mania elevates, depression demeans.

Treatment includes stabilizing medication,
With therapy supporting regulation.

[chorus]

Start with ‘Bi’
Not the sexual kind 
Rhymes with pie 
It means two now I find 

Moving to ‘Po’
The panda? No
Teletubbie? Not so 
I give up 
THEN GO 

ending with ‘Lar’ 
Is that a word? Nar
Crashing a car 
Won’t go too far 

Can you make up the word? 
Like day and night, I’m solar  
The meanings obseard
Two in my head…Bipolar

Bipolar

[intro]

My name is boogie Woogie Loogie 
I’m round and bouncy like a booty 

My wool is purple. My spots are green. 
I’ll take you where you’ll never be seen 

I’m good at making soup
Out of peoples bones
They come out in my poop
I let out a little moan

[Chorus]

The monsters are coming 
October thirty first
Our time of the year is here 
With an evil red thirst

We can’t wait to meet you 
Dress up, come outside 
Trick or treat little one 
You parents are deep fried 

[verse]

I am bouncy and fancy and have a big smile on my face
But what I’ll do to your corpse will be an utter disgrace

Raindrops and posies the hair on your toesies
I’ll tear off your skin and wear it (so cozy)

I’m lovely I’m chirpy. 
I’m just a little bit derpy

[Chorus]

The monsters are coming 
October thirty first
Our time of the year is here 
With an evil red thirst

We can’t wait to meet you 
Dress up, come outside 
Trick or treat little one 
You parents are deep fried 

[verse]

I’m making some soup. Would you like to join in?
And when I say join in
I’m putting your joints in

There’s a monster under your bed got a smile with the horns on his head
They come out at midnight
We promise we won’t bite
Come join the family we’re having such a good time
I’ll eat your corpse for dinner, roasted with a bit of lime

[musical interlude]
[people screaming]

[verse]

The fuzzy is coming
Let’s go and have a laugh
I’ve got furry ears and the neck like a giraffe

Oh, what’s this? You can’t find your parents?
Take antidepressants

I’m sure they’ll see you again, you won’t be alone
They’ll be at your funeral with your name on a gravestone

[Chorus]

The monsters are coming 
October thirty first
Our time of the year is here 
With an evil red thirst

We can’t wait to meet you 
Dress up, come outside 
Trick or treat little one 
You parents are deep fried 

[verse]

You won’t hear me sneak up behind you
I’m light on my feet
Tuck yourself in tighter
I’m under the sheet

See you in your nightmares!
Remember my face 
go to a cemetery
And get used to the place

Look out for my friends
We come in fours
They are looking for you
Missing skin from my claws

[Chorus]

The monsters are coming 
October thirty first
Our time of the year is here 
With an evil red thirst

We can’t wait to meet you 
Dress up, come outside 
Trick or treat little one 
You parents are deep fried 

[outro]

We’re here!

The fuzzies

[Chorus]

I’m driving home
Got places to go
need more from my life
You reap what you sow
 
Could hide in my shadow 
I sound like a saddow
Need proof of my life 
Recording Elgato

[verse 1]

I used to be experimental 
I used to give a shit 
but life is spiralling down
feel like my pieces don’t fit 

My clothes are getting tighter 
I’m a lover, not a fighter 
I was told by this age that I would be winning 
but get back from work and eat microwave chicken

I’m living on the edge. 
They call it edging 
I’m on a downhill. 
Call it sledging. 

[Chorus]

I’m driving home
Got places to go
I need more from my life
You reap what you sow
 
Could hide in my shadow 
I sound like a saddow
Need proof of my life 
Recording Elgato

[verse 2]

The money in my bank never goes anywhere 
the less of it I have. 
I’m losing my hair. 
It’s falling away onto the ground 
floating down never making a sound. 

I’m feeling my age 
but looking older 
I’m wanting a smile 
but just have smoulder 
I want her to ride on my dick, 
but she cries on my shoulder

I’m writing away. 
I’m speaking my mind 
about every day I shave and what I’m leaving behind. 

[Chorus]

I’m driving home
Got places to go
I need more from my life
You reap what you sow
 
Could hide in my shadow 
I sound like a saddow
Need proof of my life 
Recording Elgato 

[verse 3]

I think that I’m speeding, 
but I couldn’t move slower. 
My penis isn’t big. 
She says I’m a grower. 

Maturing quickly, but not fast enough
 I’m singing a song that comes off the cuff 

Houses and sheds and payments to heads I’m tired of the search. I’m popping my meds

I’m screaming in silence. 
I’m going to drown 
but then read you my song and I look like a clown. 

The fridge door is open. 
I’m going to freeze. 
I’m starving inside but Love Mac and cheese. 

I’m taking these lines. They’re fine and they rhyme 
but doesn’t change what’s going on in my mind. 

[Chorus]

I’m driving home
Got places to go
I need more from my life
You reap what you sow
 
Could hide in my shadow 
I sound like a saddow
Need proof of my life 
Recording Elgato

En-Route

[intro]
(instrumental)

[verse]
Girl, you beautiful
Like an Autumn sunrise
Your brought colour
To my eyes
The way we turned
Water into wine
It was magical it was
Something I fantasised

[chorus]
Maple Autumn leaves in her hair
When she cried
Maple Autumn leaves in my hair
When I.
**pause**


[verse]
I was here for the
Longevity
You couldn't test me
You made pain sleep for that Autumn
That's how I knew
God blessed me

Less she lied
Then let me be a fool
A jester to a queen
But as a king, we could rule
52 ways you completed me
it felt like you could see me

you made me fly like a Starling 
never felt harming,
so don't worry darling,
you're the reason I was so charming

[chorus]
Maple Autumn leaves in her hair
When she cried
Maple Autumn leaves in my hair
When I
**pause**


[Bridge]
I remember holding your hand
as we walked through those maple trees
it was beautiful
like a family funeral
the smell of her hair, had me hooked
nostalgic and delicious
like what your parents used to cook

but when the stars woke up
from their nap, and the sticks began to crack
I was lost in these woods
I couldn't find the tracks
I tried to wander back
but through the corner of my eye
there was something I had found
so profound, a human-shaped hole
6 feet in the ground
jaw was open, I couldn't move,
my legs were bound
herd footsteps tried not to make a sound
that's when I saw her with that shovel
with the words, "Baby don't turn around"

[chorus]
Maple Autumn leaves in her hair
When she cried
Maple Autumn leaves in my hair
When I
Maple Autumn leaves in her hair
When she cried
Maple Autumn leaves in my hair
When I died

(instrumental)

[outro]
Maple Autumn leaves in her hair
When she cried
Maple Autumn leaves in my hair
When I died
Maple Autumn leaves in her hair
When she cried
Maple Autumn leaves in my hair
When I died

Maple Autumn leaves in her hair
When she cried
Maple Autumn leaves in my hair
When I
Maple Autumn leaves in her hair
When she cried
Maple Autumn leaves in my hair
When I died

MAPLE AUTUMN LEAVES

[Verse 1]
Steve: “Hello?”
Steve: “Hello?”

Steve: “Dave, is that you?
Dave?
…Dave?!”

(Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz)
(Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz)

Steve: “Dave, mate, it’s been so long!
Been hitting the gym? You’re looking strong!”

[Verse 2]
Dave: “Blimey, Steve!
How’s the wife?
Still buzzing ’round, enjoying life?
And your hobby—what’s that? Oh, bees!
You’ve always had a knack for these.”

[Verse 3]
He reached into his pocket,
And found it was bare.
Checked his jacket,
But nothing was there.

What he was missing,
You won’t believe.
He stood up and said,
Steve: “Has anyone seen a jar of 1 million bees?”

[Verse 4]
Dave reached into his pocket,
Dave: “Oh, is that what I found?”
He pulled out the jar,
But it slipped and smashed on the ground.

Steve: “What have you done?”

[Pre-Chorus]
The swarm is coming,
The sound of buzzing.
You made a mistake,
Now the bees, the bees are coming!

[Chorus]
The sound of wings
Brings men to their knees.
You look to the sky,
And can’t help but freeze.

The swarm on the breeze,
Pulling down trees.
There’s no escape
From a million bees.

[Verse 6]
Steve: “Dave, you’ve fucked us,”
And it sure seemed that way.
As the swarm consumed them,
The bees were here to stay.

[Verse 7: The Finale]
The town was in ruins,
The streets all abuzz.
No one was safe—
Not even old Gus.

Dave stood in silence,
His face filled with dread.
He muttered softly,
Steve: “I should’ve kept them in the shed.”

[Outro]
So, let this be a lesson,
For all who may see:
Think twice before keeping
A jar of a million bees.

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