illuminating places

lil ghost's diary (333)

spotify:

like staring into a mirror :<

prod. yungspoiler <3

lyrics:
isnt it lovely how 
things come back around when changing roles 
a fiber copy of 
the way i tend to write in how u wrote 
its kinda funny 
girl name three real things u know about me now
im way too faulty
to be loved in ways that aint like me at all 

im scared to feel what i need to 
my friends dont know what im holding back 
cus i used to think i was see through 
now i stand on top of this broken glass 
but what do i know?
ima bypass the faults of my confidence 
i quit that sideshow 
was it like that to know were not gonna last?
"im scared to feel what i need to 
my friends dont know what im holding back 
cus i used to think i was see through 
now i stand on top of this broken glass 
but what do i know?
ima bypass the faults of my confidence 
i quit that sideshow"
was it like that to know were not gonna last?

and with tear blurred eyes these lines blend to patterns 
and leave both sides acting the same 
so i reach for why precisely it matters
who reads what signs cus im so ashamed of 
all this when not done myself
notice how all that i felt 
broke in the moment tides fell?
idk no idk how id help

im scared to feel what i need to 
my friends dont know what im holding back 
cus i used to think i was see through 
now i stand on top of this broken glass 
but what do i know?
ima bypass the faults of my confidence 
i quit that sideshow 
was it like that to know were not gonna last?
"im scared to feel what i need to 
my friends dont know what im holding back 
cus i used to think i was see through 
now i stand on top of this broken glass 
but what do i know?
ima bypass the faults of my confidence 
i quit that sideshow"
was it like that to know were not gonna last?

and suddenly it matters what i felt? | prod. yungspoiler

who needs therapy right?? T-T

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/intl-de/track/5p7PxyfUy6wdJ9ifc3zieu?si=13e1ec407de247f9

hiii u guysss last song of the year whatt?? its been a rough one but as yall can tell by this song maybe im delusional enough to get by 

lyrics:
i cant with this indecision i had to get closure 
bypassing my intuition might be fcking me over
miles way from the pit i miss the dried leaves of ur clover
high speed will increase the friction i said it i told ya 
it might be too hard to handle but i knew that 
when the thread i hold starta loosen
u keep ur hands close way to prove that 
when i helped u most u just used that
had to bottle it up 
weed smoke in my lungs
tried to keep u afloat
while i was under the raft 
so down on my luck 
double checked all my cards 
u said i was gold 
but that just wasnt enough 

dont u think that its fcked?
i knew it couldnt be right 
to be so high on a pedestal that my flaws couldnt show signs 
i tried to be who u needed but who u needed couldnt be kind 
told me to cut ya out of my life 
at that point id rather have died 
not now idc
i cant be harmed if im not there 
im not even me no more i cant feel at all 
im redeemed if im unaware
so i just block out whats inside 
and forget outside when im high 
i just dont see what for i should be ignored 
but be seated right by this shitty door like goddamn 

i cant with this indecision i had to get closure 
bypassing my intuition might be fcking me over
miles way from the pit i miss the dried leaves of ur clover
high speed will increase the friction i said it i told ya 
it might be too hard to handle but i knew that 
when the thread i hold starta loosen
u keep ur hands close way to prove that 
when i helped u most u just used that
had to bottle it up 
weed smoke in my lungs
tried to keep u afloat
while i was under the raft 
so down on my luck 
double checked all my cards 
u said i was gold 
but that just wasnt enough

defense mechanism | prod. uguwap

lord knows i tried to interfere 
but u dont decide who u get killed most the time
tho its never right, thats just the deal 
in his state of mind he couldnt shield u and i 
cus they say that ur too good and theyre afwul like its valid 
like all that u been thru came at the cost of circumstances 
that u couldve controled if u gave up and didnt care 
its all the same, it isnt fair 
cus u feel awful too, u swear 
lord knows i tried to interfere 
and so i guess my time has come 
ill change myself until im so far from the person who u want 
im scared of who i might become 
theres only so much left that 
white wine and cigarettes cant 
dull down to basically none 
oh im sick of hearing its not my fault 
i turn my back and turn to stone 
maybe this is what u want 
maybe this is what u want 
maybe this is what u want

just remember that i rly tried

@majoraeclipse <333
(prod. loneliness孤独)

Lyrics:
Maybe I was too persistent
(But you were all that I had)
Wasn't so super superstious 
(Walking over the cracks)
Would it have made a difference
(If I ignored the snakes in the grass)
If I had kept some distance?
(I would've had a whole of a heart)


You were all that I wanted
Thought I made that obvious to you
Feel like it's a contest
And you don't want to hear the truth

That's the issue
Your walls are built so damn high
It's hard to break through
And I just can't seem to see why
Every time that i miss you
Somethings wrong with my mind
Remember the smell of your vape juice
By my cabinet side 
(By my cabinet side)

Majoreclipse:
So I guess it's goodbye 
I told ya that I'm prolly not that easy to like 
And i was right, wasn't I? 
It's not about picking sides 
But you know that I'd prolly take your's 
Like the tide awaits shore 

So if winter leaves me intact 
And I'm resiliant to the cold, would you know how to react? 
Or is the thought of that too distant for it to distract
From what you learned to be true? 
Cus I been hurt just like you 
Pick at the wounds so that I can be sure what I feel 
Though I'm so tired of the blue 
I wrap my wishes in green covers 
But doubt it's of use 
I think you miss who you discovered
I'm tired of it too

Snakes In The Grass (feat. majoraeclipse)

i was stuck inside my head, should be stuck inside my bag p-p

spotify: https://open.spotify.com/intl-de/album/1C6fK1WlNyx8kptlDhV5QO?si=e13461ea861442b7

new year, new-ish song xd new chapter for sure tho

lyrics:
talk abt a pain washing the dirt from my hands 
from ppl walking over me again and again and 
honestly what can i reccomend 
its all the same in the end 

at least i got what my moneys worth 
love was never free 
u put ur phone in dnd 
acting out of reach 
but when its cold telle me was it worth 
id rather freeze than keep u close to be fucking hurt 
i wont sit and weep
at least i got what my moneys worth 
love was never free 
u put ur phone in dnd 
acting out of reach 
but when its cold telle me was it worth 
id rather freeze than keep u close to be fucking hurt 
i wont sit and weep anymore 

i shouldve listened to my friends i deserve better
u showing teeth outta defense aint no laughing matter 
keep watching me from a distance with ur strings tethered 
if u ever wanted to keep that as a fucking backup
but baby now way 
used me for ur benefit and spit me out like colgate 
i wont pass ur circles just to end up at the gold gates 
i cant keep refelcting i dont recognize my own face
talk abt a soulmate
like cant u feel that?
somwhere in the layers that u peeled back 
i could see u struggle holding tears back 
i could see right through u and u deared that 
i couldnt reach that 

at least i got what my moneys worth 
love was never free 
u put ur phone in dnd 
acting out of reach 
but when its cold telle me was it worth 
id rather freeze than keep u close to be fucking hurt 
i wont sit and weep
at least i got what my moneys worth 
love was never free 
u put ur phone in dnd 
acting out of reach 
but when its cold telle me was it worth 
id rather freeze than keep u close to be fucking hurt 
i wont sit and weep anymore

money's worth | prod. drma x nihil2free x 80root

April

rooftop sunrise | prod. majora

won't watch us wither away... 🥀

lyrics:

wake up from the sun dancing through the curtains
illuminating places where you used to fall asleep in my arms
the spotlight that won't let me heal from my scars

i can almost see you

i still water your flowers
as the leaves crumble down into nothing at all
i still water your flowers
i watch them wither away, won't watch us wither away

i can't even bare to look myself in the eyes
cuz the mirror glares back and you're right by my side
rain falls down and my head's in the sky
don't forget i love you til the day i die

no you don't deserve this
and i hope you heard this
and you felt the same way you did
when i pressed my face up against your forehead

i can almost see you

i still water your flowers
as the leaves crumble down into nothing at all
i still water your flowers
i watch them wither away, won't watch us wither away

i still water your flowers
as the leaves crumble down into nothing at all
i still water your flowers
i watch them wither away, won't watch us wither away

i still water your flowers

spotify

flowers (ft. yesterday)

she's a rooftop girl..
.
.
.
.

i dont own this track and im not trying to make money with it! thank u!

harder than it has to be | prod. majora

majoraeclipse