Thousands of families quietly and lovingly care for children with special needs. Though the days are often long and hard, many find joy in their calling and would not trade their calling for anything. Kara Dedert and her family reflect this joy in the ordinary and extraordinary moments of caring for their son and brother, Calvin. In her introduction to her blog, Kara writes, “You’ll find me writing about the good, gritty, gracy parts of faith, family and home. I’m married to Darryl and we have five kids. One of our sons has severe disabilities from Zika. It’s broken our hearts and also filled us with hope – I write about that, too.
We’re grateful for Kara’s willingness to not only write about her journey, but to talk with Sharon Betters about the everyday struggles and joys of caring for Calvin and how his life has drawn his entire family deeper into the heart of Jesus.
Connect with Kara at karadedert.com.

Kara Dedert Joy in Caring for a Child with Special Needs

Children raised in the same family sometimes grow up with very different responses to life. Such is the story of Julie Malone and her beautiful daughter, Allie. Julie and her husband, Tim loved their lives as parents and Tim’s ministry to teens. But their idyllic life would take a turn into a foreign land of broken places. Julie says, 

“I am very thankful for my childhood as I came to know and love the Lord as my savior at a very young age. I really never knew a day without Jesus in my life. I married Tim, and we had 4 beautiful little girls. We were raising our kids to know Jesus. We were a close family.  Life was good. But Tim and I often wondered how and when real suffering would enter our lives. 

For us, it didn’t come in one huge blow. For us it came in pieces. A little ding here, and a little ding there – until the repeated dinging of the chisel brought true hardship that often made me feel weary and worn, and well…broken.  And much of this brokenness focused on our journey of parenting our oldest daughter Ally through her teenage years.”

You may not have a prodigal child, but no doubt you know someone who does, someone who is fearful for their child but maybe ashamed and embarrassed. Parents of hurting children immediately blame themselves, thinking, surely, we could have done something different. Parents of prodigal children need their friends, family and church family to rally around them and Julie gives us a glimpse into how.

Pieces to Peace, Loving a Prodigal Daughter a Conversation with Julie Malone

Mention “fear of the Lord” and most people don’t know what it means. Is it terror in God’s presence? Is it fear He is watching and waiting to condemn us or tell us what a good person we are? Or maybe the Lord will demand we give up what is most precious to us to prove we fear Him. Or perhaps fear of the Lord grows when we think He is punishing us for past sins. In this conversation Christina Fox talks to Sharon Betters about how the fear of the Lord frees us from lesser fears and how understanding biblical fear helps us walk by faith when life turns upside down. Christina also shares how the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom in not only the hard places but in the mundane things of life.

This conversation touches the tip of the iceberg on the topic of the fear of the Lord so we hope you not only listen to this conversation but get a copy of Christina’s book, A Holy Fear.

A Holy Fear a Conversation with Christina Fox

This conversation is for pastor’s and ministry wives and those who love them. While there are occupational hazards in all lines of work, ministry families experience conflicts that sometimes not only result in broken relationships but loss of their beloved church family. In most jobs, wives are not expected to be an unpaid laborer, stand by their husband’s side every Sunday, remembering every name and something about the families, teach a class, play the piano, or host multiple gatherings for every age. What she considers deep friendships root and grow. Her children see the church as their second home. Imagine the trauma when conflict reveals that many view her only as a commodity, useful as long as her husband pleases the congregation. She learns that those for whom she has hurt the most are sometimes the ones who will hurt her deeply.  In this conversation two seasoned ministry wives, Karen Grant and Sharon Betters talk freely about these challenges and how to respond when trusted friends betray. Ministry wife, you are not alone. 
This conversation is part of a series for Ministry Families.
Download the free Help & Hope app and subscribe to the Help and Hope podcast – be sure to push notifications.

Ministry Wives, Betrayal And Restoration with Karen Grant

Mention church conflict in a group of pastors and ministry leaders. One by one they will nod knowingly and share war stories of betrayal, conflict and relationship damage. We hear about pastors taking their own lives and the many who are leaving the ministry, tired of the in-fighting, unfair criticisms and unbiblical treatment of not only them but their families. The Covid pandemic created even more stress for pastors as a key strengthening and essential piece of the church – community – shut down. Many had to learn how to use technology and work even harder to stay connected to the congregation. Then politics entered the scene and former good friends demanded the pastor take positions he could not. Pastors are weary and not sure what the future holds. George Grant and Chuck Betters, seasoned pastors and ministry leaders talk frankly about the intense pressures pastors and ministry leaders experience and offer insights on how to navigate these turbulent times. Pastors, this is for you. 

This conversation is part of a series for Ministry Families.
Download the free Help & Hope app and subscribe to the Help and Hope podcast – be sure to push notifications.

Betrayal, Conflict and Ministry A Conversation With George Grant

Do these words haunt you: "Mom, Dad, I don't want your rules and morals. I don't want to act like a Christian anymore! And I'm not going to," Barbara Juliani (then Barbara Miller) made this declaration at the age 18. As her father desperately attempted to reason with her, Barbara grew more resentful, choosing a path of immorality that only deepened her parents' pain.
 
Such a declaration from a child, no matter their age, creates havoc and soul-searching in the hearts of their parents, who often ask, “What did I do wrong?”
 
In this conversation with Sharon Betters and Jane Anne Wilson Barbara Juliani shares her story and addresses some of the ways parents take on the guilt of their children and responsibility for their decisions. You might be surprised by some of her conclusions. Her dad, Jack Miller wrote:
"I am not ignorant of human depravity," writes C. John Miller, "but I had long denied that it could exist in our family." That reality, however, forced him to confront his own sin, seek forgiveness, admit his inability to change his wayward daughter, and begin loving Barbara on God's terms.
In their book, Come Back, Barbara, "Jack" Miller and Barbara Miller Juliani chronicle their journey from grief and conflict to joyful reconciliation. Come Back, Barbara is thus an irresistible portrayal of God's grace to the Millers and us all. Our conversation with Barbara reminds broken-hearted parents about the freedom of experiencing such grace in the midst of their child’s rebellion.

Hope For The Parents Of The Prodigal Child - From A Prodigal, With Barbara Juliani (1)

Barbara Juliani and Jane Anne Wilson join Sharon Betters to talk about those feelings every mother experiences at one time or another. This conversation follows an interview with Barbara about prodigal children. Barbara and her father Jack Miller co-authored Come Back, Barbara, a raw and transparent story of Barbara’s rebellion against her parents and their faith and her journey “back home”. Whenever a child rebels or disappoints parents, mothers often feel ashamed and as though their child’s behavior is a reflection on their parenting skills. “Was I too soft, too hard, spanked when I shouldn’t have, neglected a specific need in my child?” Where do moms go with these feelings? If you are that mother, this conversation will encourage you as you realize you are not alone and there is a way toward freedom.

Motherhood, Shame & Guilt with Barbara Juliani and Jane Anne Wilson

In this conversation two seasoned pastors, Chuck Betters and Bernie Lawrence talk about how the local church is not only called to be a safe place for hurting women but how to make it so. Bernie is co-author with Ann Maree Goudzwaard of HelpHer – A Churchwide Response for Women in Crisis.

Chuck and Bernie discuss how many churches are ill-prepared to come alongside of women in crisis but how the scriptures outline the way to meet these needs. Bernie speaks from the experience of helping oversee such a ministry in his local church. He shares how the leadership recognized the need to make the church a safe place for women and then enlisted women to help develop a strategy for meeting this dire need. In their book, Bernie and Ann Maree not only tell the story of how the Shepherdess ministry developed but also include numerous practical instructions for how to develop a similar ministry in your local church. This ministry will revolutionize a local church and no doubt as it grows women will spread the news that their church is ready and willing to not only help women in crisis but be there as a pro-active and preventative balm. 

Be sure to listen to Ann Maree’s conversation with Sharon Betters and Jane Anne Wilson

Making The Church A Safe Place For Hurting Women With Bernie Lawrence

For too long women, rather than feel safe, women often feel shame in their local churches, so much so that they will not ask the leadership for help. The idea of speaking about her personal needs and hurts to any man, let alone being in a room alone with a group of men fills her with fear. This conversation with Ann Maree Goudzwaard, Sharon Betters and Jane Anne Wilson fills us with great hope as we learn about a Shepherdess ministry designed to not only create a safe place for women in crisis but also act as a preventative balm. This ministry is a picture of the spiritual mothering described in Titus 2. Older women are trained to come alongside a hurting woman, learning how to speak “woman” to the pastoral leadership when the hurting woman cannot speak for herself. Ann Maree describes the responsibilities of a Shepherdess and how this ministry changes the atmosphere of a local church as women – and their friends – discover the church is a safe place. And the bonus – older women realize they have much to share from their own life journeys and Scripture.
This conversation acts as salty peanuts – we hope you want more! To satisfy your craving for more information, check out the following links. Not only is the book packed with practical information on how to start this ministry but there are also training videos.

Making The Church A Safe Place For Hurting Women, Part 2 Ann Marie Goudzwaard & Jane Anne Wilson

Kathe Wunnenberg is a hopelifter.  She believes God can transform anything you offer Him into hope to help others. God has enlarged her through many life challenges including infertility, miscarriages and the loss of her son.   Known for her creative compassion and her motto:  “We go through what we go through, to help others go through what we went through,” Kathe is the founder of Hopelifters Unlimited and lives in Phoenix, Arizona. The author of Grieving The Loss of a Loved One, Grieving the Child I Never Knew, Longing for a Child, and Hopelifter: Creative Ways to Spread Hope when Life Hurts, Kathe’s books  and ministry has impacted thousands.  Kathe lives in Phoenix with her husband, Rich. They have three young adult sons, one grandson 
Website: http://www.hopelifters.com

Helping Others Go Through What We Went Through with Kathe Wunnenberg Edit 1

MARKINC seeks to help men and women grow in their faith so that they are better equipped to face the trials and suffering that they will encounter in life. In His Grip is the preaching and teaching ministry of Dr. Chuck F. Betters from 40+ years in church ministry.

Making The Church A Safe Place For Hurting Women, Part 2 Ann Marie Goudzwaard & Jane Anne Wilson

In His Grip

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