I feel that I've hit bottom

I've come to a crossroad in my life

The left side is existence

The right side is where I die



As I grapple with this lunacy

I relish with delight

The power I possess to revoke this shattered life



Another sleepless night in this forced sodomy we call life

Like an apple as red as blood, until I take a bite

And the bitterness overwhelms my palate, I have been deceived

The dreams that now escape me are forever out of reach



The bells of agony are pealing

With disharmonious bliss

My mind is left void of feeling

My coil is now spiritless



I torment myself with this disenchantment that I feel

The bed that I've made

Is draining the life from me



I've sent up every red flad and exhausted every warning

I've been meticulous in my wake and surpassed my state of mourning

To carry all this weight I have grown too weak

I'm drowning in a sea of my own anxiety



As I view the tool I've chosen for death

I reach for its poison and exhale a deep breath

Cylinders of hatred to tear through my skull

Golden they glow, so wicked and small

These pills of lead are my only friends

They'll grant me the gift of a quick, painless end

Each one is grinning and begging of me

To be the one to become part of me

The frigid steel burns cold on my flesh

As I chamber a round I settle my hands

This demon of death lies idle and waits

To set free its hammer and unleash its rage



I now sit here all alone, save my new found friends

Perched on the edge of my bed with the barrel against my head

With just one twitch of my finger the torment will come to an end

The one thing I hadn't counted on were the thoughts of family and friends



Despite all of my problems there are those for whom I care

To them it would make a difference if I weren't there



So I've clawed my way through another day

But I know tomorrow will be worse than yesterday

This temorary solution won't make this shit go away

With my head in my hands, the cycle starts again

Sea of Deprivation- The Cycle of Misery

Lunar