you used to be so gentle and kind
now there’s a monster inside you
you’re not sure what’s all up in your mind
you’re in need of a breakthrough

now you want someone to fix you
when you know what needs to be done
and you say you’re not the issue
have you thought about growing up?
well.. no
shsh good talk

you’re bringing everyone down
“i need to sound”
you say as you’re breaking all the doors and windows
nobody cares about
your stories and doubts
you're breaking your house with every little missile

and even i don’t know why
you obsess over everything
and even i don’t know why
you’re talking to yourself like you’re not me
it’s a fear of confrontation
i cant even keep one conversation
maybe that’s why (why!)
maybe that's why i don’t see invitations

now you want someone to fix you
when you know what needs to be done
and you say you’re not the issue
have you thought about growing up?
i mean no
exactly that's what i thought

its a good talk when you don’t talk
thoughts and shots start then they don’t stop
shh its a good talk when you don’t talk
thoughts and shots start then they don’t stop ayyy

Good talk

piano playing (take 1)

heart rate

IGetcha

怖いことないよ(don’t be alone)@LIVEHAUS

今日この部屋を出ていくあの子は
躁鬱の躁を持っていくだろうか
それなりの悩みはないけど
喉の奥が詰まるこの感じ

寝る前はなんかすべて愛せたな
この世の全部が馬鹿らしい朝が来る

ゆめうつつ交わした言葉は
喉の奥に残っているんだ

君には全部を話せた気でいたな
積み上げた嘘が本当を支えてる

今日この街を出ていく私は
躁鬱の躁を何に変えようか
笑顔にしようか
涙にしようか

部屋

something about mountains is a 10 song project i started while in Richmond Virginia last year around mid July. I tackled loss super aggressively throughout the whole project, all while in different stages of handling different personal issues. The last year has been the most strenuous growing period of my life and it resonates through the album with prevalence. I gave this my whole being. I hope you can feel it.

missedupdate..!

endfamily ; fire

K to the A to the W to the A to the K to the A to the M &  I
K to the A to the W to the A to the K to the A to the YOU &  I
K to the A to the W to the A to the K to the A to the M &  I
K to the A to the W to the A to the  KA WA KA MI

こぼれそうなきもち　聞いてよ ねえ　君は どこを向いているの
背は175cm 手足は長め　すぐに どこか消えちゃう
目を閉じて 想像する ほどに
体が熱く火照っちゃうの
急に振り向いて こっち微笑んで あーもう!!

クラスのみんなが君を狙ってる だから どうしたらいいかわかんなくなっちゃうの
目をあわせれば君の虜なの　そんな ウワサの♡河上くん
ねえダーリン いつか call me "honey" 行かないで……

最寄りは京王線沿線のどこか(実家)マジで知らない駅
ちょっと勇気出しちゃって 偶然装い今夜 彼の街に凸
ゆるされることならどうか
私を受け入れてほしいの
しゃんと胸張って 彼に微笑む……あーもう!!

ふいに「放課後映画観に行こう」なんてどうしたらいいかわかんなくなっちゃうの
手と手触れ合った秘密のデート そんな ウワサの♡河上くん
クラスのみんなが君を狙ってる だから どうしたらいいかわかんなくなっちゃうの
目をあわせたら君の虜なの　そんな ウワサの♡河上くん
ねえダーリン いつか call me "honey" 抱き寄せて……

「出席番号6番、席は1番後ろの窓側。休み時間になると、いつもひとりでどこかへ行っちゃう。どうか私に気づいて……」

ねえダーリン いつか call me "honey" 抱き寄せて……口づけて……。

ウワサの♡河上くん(demo)

@julianrogai @lilsadboiiudig

Brand new kva shoes
Ya they hate but they lose
Ya she hate when I choose
Ya we smoking Sprayed blue
Ya u kno we stay true
With this picky ass bitch
Inna picky ass mood
Now the whole team rich
We some yung rich fools
& the back yard
Got the whole view
from the pool
& these labels tryna hoe me
Theres no choice i should choose
& if u wanna sign me
Need a mil all bleu

Prada ombré
Brand new pair
U should know I’m lyin everytime
I say I do care
Deez bitches choosin on me
Im playin 2 fair
BM dub z4
Pull up 2 chairs

But I’m wit 2 hoes
Ya I got 2 goals
And that’s to buy my mom a crib
& watch it rain gold
ballerina flats & her ear buds tangled
she gon pop a couple flats
why she end up inna k-hole ..??



Good talk

Max Bass