Lost Man Standing 2

Seven Years at Sea

Copyright 2021 Mark Baughman/Working Theories Publishing ASCAP
All rights reserved

I Just got my legs underneath me
After seven long years at sea
I was longing to be back on the dock
Where I sat and I longed to be free
The ship deserted the captain
And the first mate, he came and he went
We swore that we'd go the distance
But we didn't know what we meant

My first port of call was a siren
Dressed in another man's shirt
She said, "Throw your fate to the winds,
But saying a prayer might not hurt"
So I walked down a path to a chapel
That hundreds had walked down before
I spoke to a stone in a garden
And wondered what it was there for

I wish I had known that this was just
The quiet time before the storm
But sitting there, thinking it over
The opinions I shouldn't have formed
Well, I couldn't say I wasn't warned

A character I read in a novel
I ghost I saw in a play
Just when I came to the precipice
She turned up with something to say
I went to her, put out my arms
And she vanished like dark in the night
So I carried on with my loneliness
Chasing the dimmest of light

Well, I lost my sense of contrition
And fell in with hustlers and thieves
They payed life like it was a card game
With more than an ace up their sleeves
But somebody's only a winner
'Till the dealer puts out a new hand
You don't really know where you are
When you don't really know where you stand

With all the conditional friendships
Not even my hand was warm
With all of their manifestos
And all of their movements reformed
I couldn't say that I wasn't warned

I don't know what's more important - 
Where I went to or where I came from
The souvenirs I collected add up to
A whole lot less than the sum
And the girl I left on the pier
On that morning I went out to sea
She's in love, or she's in denial
While she's unweaving her tapestry

I made some inquiries and there's no passage back
And there's nowhere to stay around here
It won't do just to ride along
But I won't mind if someone else steers
Everything comes to me bittersweet
My heart so exquisitely torn
And now my home's the relentless pursuit
Of a vision so beautifully formed
I know - I was told
With fanfare and scold
So I couldn't say I wasn't warned.

Seven Years At Sea

Cut Throat Razor
Copyright 2021 Mark Baughman, Working Theories Publishing ASCAP
All rights reserved

I could paint you another picture
And wonder what it was that you saw
A blank or colorful canvas
Would you see anything at all?

I could write out these words in my little book
The verses seem to have no end
Rhymes and reasons for page after page
In a letter I couldn't send

In one direction or another
In circles, then doubling back
Too late when I found I was
Tied down, helpless

If I wrote you a song, would you listen?
Is it the melody or words that you hear?
Or maybe that note of dissonance
Is what came to your ear

I asked then I begged, then I reasoned
I put it all out, naked and real
Wounded - sharp, like from a razor
That was too fast to feel

Cut through one part, then another
So deep it's never going to close
I look in the mirror, and I
Don't recognize me
Don't know what I want
Don't know where I am

Tied to a May Pole
A ribbon so colorful
Fantastic and beautiful
But we're tangled, and we're nowhere

Cut Throat Razor

Jackie

Copyright 2022 Mark Baughman / Working Theories Publishing ASCAP All rights reserved

Jackie, give it a minute and let it sink in
Then get on with what you were doing
She doesn't give you a second thought
So tell me who's doing the fooling
In a minute or two
It will be midnight
And we get to start it again

You act like it's a mystery, 
Like you couldn't see this coming
Posing, indifferent, pretending you don't care
So tell me - where were you running?
In an hour or two
Need to make some choices
Are you listening to me?
Do you hear voices?
Oh, why can't you see that it's all laid out there for you?

C'mon now, stop looking down
Your feet will go where you lead them
You've been giving her the best things you have
But she doesn't seem to need them
I know it's not easy
But in your heartest of hearts
You know it's true

My friend was so confused
He caught a train in every direction
He carried himself with such certainty
All we saw was his perfection
In a year or two
He had it all figured out
Then the footing gave under
And he crumbled in doubt
I wish he could see we were leaving the light on for him

He got lost, and figured that
All doors closed behind him
He disappeared without leaving a trace
We looked, but we couldn't find him
But we gave up too easy
So we came up short
It's sad but it's true


Jackie, you're on your own, just let that sink in
And forget 'bout the time that you threw away
Her house has been burning and you want to rush in
But what good could you do her anyway?
In a lifetime or two
You'll make it all make sense
Maybe rationalize
In the interest of self-defense
For all you can be we've been leaving the light on for you

Come on now and stop looking back
There's nobody there behind you
Pick up your bags and get on with it
And leave us a trail to find you
I know it's not easy
But in your heartest of hearts
You know I'm right

I know it's not easy, 
But in your heartest of hearts
You know it's true

I know it's not easy

Jackie

Go the Distance

Copyright 2022 Mark Baughman / Working Theories Publishing ASCAP

I have never seen a sunrise
That made me want to meet the day
I had never known a woman
Who made me want to turn around and stay
I wasted all my wishes
On dreams I knew would never come true
Too fantastic to imagine
Like the distance between me and you

I have never heard a sermon
That made me want to lay my burden down
I've had my share of heartaches
Then I watched the circus come to town
I weighed all of my choices
Made a few mistakes
Did things I'm not proud of
I have to bend it 'till it breaks

I've never been so ready
Never been so unprepared
You could make me go the distance
If you just told me that you cared
I gave up on my future
Threw away my past
I heard all of your answers
And still I have to ask

Go The Distance

Mariupol

Copyright 2022 Mark Baughman /Working Theories Publishing ASCAP
All Rights Reserved

I could hear the engines starting
Saw shadows moving quickly through the trees
Held my breath said a prayer
And quietly got to my knees
A short burst on the radio
And we came out of the wood
Where I saw a familiar plain

Waves across the field
Tanks rolling slowly at our back
Coiled and cocked on the crest
Waiting for the sign to attack
A flare flew high above us
It's tail split the sky
Then the cannons and artillery
I had to close my eyes
The air was full and deafening
And the night dropped its disguise

When I was a boy, I came here
My uncle had a farm with a lake
An orchard - rich and exotic
We picked all we could take
The summer nights we layout out in this field
With my cousin and her friend
We watched the stars rolling slowly by
We wished this night would never end

A sentinel for Motherland
Was what I thought I'd be
A marker out of history
A beacon to the sea
But the bodies of the innocents
Is all that I can see

Our shells have no morality
Raining down on hospitals and schools
And the ones that made this possible:
Peacocks, they jabber like fools
The tractors and machines
Are turning up the field
Burying the evidence
That cannot be concealed
And waiting for a reckoning - 
The harvest we yield

Mariupol

The Fields
Copyright 2022 Mark Baughman / Working theories Publishing ASCAP
All Rights Reserved

For Jim

The Fields

Sparrow's Song
Copyright 2023 Mark Baughman / Working Theories Publishing 
ASCAP
All rights reserved

She came out from her hiding place
In the shadows on the street
To look closer at her destiny 
She'd been wanting to meet
She took me in nervously
Not certain what to say
She smiled to herself
No one ever looked at that way

Her father was a shadow
And a sound late in the night
She's been looking for him ever since
Like it would make everything right
Her mother was a spectacle
Euphoria and rage
Her colors and her fireworks 
Just faded with age

And every morning starts with so much promise
But every night she sings a sad refrain

I'm sorry - 
Whatever I did to offend
The universe
That takes out its anger this way
I'm only here this short time
And I've got to say
I could use a friend

Her boyfriend looks right past her
He has nothing to say
He holds her like 
He wants to run away
She's desperate to be seen
She's desperate to be heard
She wants so to be somewhere else
To fly off like a bird

And every morning's full of possibilities
And every night the song's a sad refrain

I'm sorry - 
Whatever I said to offend
The whole universe
That decided to treat me this way
You're only here this short time
And I just want to say
You're my friend

Sparrow's Song

Nothing is Written
Copyright 2017 Mark Baughman

Deep in the night
Wide awake, all alone
Facing the ceiling
And watching the phone
Cut from my life
Since my cover was blown
And I don't really know where to go

Don't know where I'm headed
No compass or map
Pretty sure once I started
I might never get back
I was fooling myself -
I could chose when to tack
The boat left a long time ago

Now walking so close
To the edge of the wall
Losing my balance
And starting to fall
Wondering aloud
If it's worth it at all
Or if it's just time to go

Nothing is written
When nothing is read
Nothing is spoken
When nothing gets said
It might come from the heart
And it goes to your head
It might tear your world to shreds

When I look down the road
And then back where I've been
I swear I made choices
But I can't see when
Thought I was walking
Along with a friend
Thought I was hearing a call

Look at my hands
And hear what I might play
Look at my face
And hear what I might say
You could look in my heart
If you weren't so afraid
Well; I don't blame you at all

Nothing is written
When nothing is read
Nothing is spoken
When nothing gets said
It came from my heart
It went straight to my head
And it tore my world to shreds

Lost in a dreamland
Keeping it real
Live like you're honoring
Some kind of deal
Would it kill you to tell me
What you really feel?

It's ok

Nothing Is Written

Energie

Copyright 2018 Mark Baughman

I step off of the ledge
With the wind in my hair
My eyes looking straight in the sun
From zero to flying
A stone through the air
I hope I don’t hit anyone
No I won’t hit anyone
-
Standing atop
I summoned my nerve
I saw my potential alive
I think what I’m getting
Is what I deserve
It comes at the end of the dive

I see the skies igniting
Mountains born out of a fire
-
I’ve been up to the top
I’ve been down to the bottom
And somehow I ended the same
All that I spent on
Nothing that mattered while
Looking for something to blame

Toy in the attic
Left careless behind
Carelessly fell to the ground
Alone in a shell
With parents resigned
Joyful, reacts to the sound
He dances to the sound
-
Looking in darkness
For validation
She lovingly showed me her light
She offered me kindness
Showed me salvation
But I stole away in the night

I saw the fire lighting
I didn’t know it was real
-
I’ve been over the top
I’ve sunk down to the bottom
Prideful and feeling the shame
Energy wasted on
Nothing that mattered
Like I wouldn’t be there again

Pulses and frequencies
Infinite, bound
Echo forever in space
The depth of a feeling
Caught by a sound
Bringing us back to this place
-
I feel the moment exciting
Memories lighting the sky

I’ve been over the edge
I’ve been up to my neck
Always out of my depth
I raced with the sun, looking
Over my shoulder
And never quite catching my breath
-
I jumped to the top
I fell down to the bottom
And always I came out the same
Potential expended
Broken and mended
Then back on the ledge, here again

Energie

Willow

Copyright 2019 Mark Baughman

Took I-40 down to Nashville 
Where I saw the Parthenon
We were dancing in the Bluegrass Inn
That place has come and gone
My memory’s dim on why I thought
Was time for moving on
I was long on motivation
And short on making time
Couldn’t get out of my way
Stand up straight and walk the line

Drove the back road down to Natchez
And a dirt road to a camp
Where we played guitars and sang
‘Till the morning dimmed the lamp
And we slept beneath a willow
Where the ground was cool and damp
And time just seemed suspended
A minute took a day
With space for us to contemplate
How much a word can weigh

And the things you tried to tell me
Were said to avail
By time I teased the lessons out
That tangled in the tale
The signs had lost their meaning
The paint was peeling, pale
Like old decaying buildings
Like tombstones on the trail

Well the dew is hanging heavy
On the willow by the river
I came back to your waters
In hopes I’d be delivered 
I keep on coming back
Just in case you reconsider
The air is sitting thick
And the vines are smelling sweet
Just like the place, when we were kids
Where you and I would meet

And the current’s running fast
‘Neath the river by the willow
Come sit here in the rushes
Take my shoulder for a pillow
We’ll pretend we’re in our house
See the world out through our window
See the breezes take the drifters
Down the river by the willow

Willow

Some Kind of Fool
Copyright 2019 Mark Baughman

How many times are you going to leave me
Without saying goodbye
How long are you going to blame me
For something you should know is a lie?
How long are you just going to sit there
On the other side of the door?
Whispering songs to yourself in the night
And staring a hole in the floor

Well, I just keep hanging around here
And you just send me to school
I must be asking for it babe
I must be some kind of fool

What in the world would I have to carry?
Would it be a stone or a cross?
What would I give? What would I lose?
Either way I know what it costs
As right as righteous conviction
As wrong as someone can be
As bold as helpless, as strong as insecure
Lost between prison and free

I just keep walkin' this side of the street
I keep wearing a hole in my shoe
Must be my fault, ain't it babe?
I must be some kind of fool

If I asked you anything
Would you tell me something
Tell me lies, 'cause it's easy
Tell the truth, but don't tease me
I swear this road is ending here

How many times can I fall down
Before I just stay on my knees?
How many locks do have on that door?
Do you really want to throw away the keys?
How many songs can I give you
'Till the truth starts breaking through?
'Till the measures and scale let you out of that jail
Fill the promise overdue

I keep sitting alone in the dark
And I'm being stubborn as a mule
Well, I deserve what I get, babe
I must be some kind of fool

Some Kind Of Fool

Zambezi

Copyright 2019 Mark Baughman

I see the houses
With all their pretty doors
Their rooms are all empty
What do they have them for?
I meet the people
Lost and alone
Talking to no one
And aching to the bone
My weariness took over
And I finally closed my eyes
I heard a distant symphony
Reflecting off the skies
It was thunderous, majestic
It was singing out in tongues
And underneath a rhythm
That I heard when I was young

They were sending out their thoughts and prayers
Then they scattered like seeds on the wind

When I woke in the morning
In the center of a plain
A cloudburst opened up and it
Washed me with with it's rain
The water off my feet
Cut channels in the ground
Ran to join the others
Desperate to be found
They follow unfamiliar paths
Of choices they don't make
Assuming all the privileges 
Of liberties they take
They didn't see it coming
The river - gentle, slow
The earth broke open, swallowed
To the thunder from below

I sent them all my thoughts and prayers
And like vapor they left on the wind

On the one side of the coin
My friends all tell me
That I'm crazy
Seeing everything 
As part of some 
Complex design
It bugs me that I have this funny feeling
That I'm not alone and
Maybe should be looking harder
Cannot see the signs
I dreamed I saw Jerusalem
It's minarets and churches
And its calls to all the faithful
To come and start again
On the other side I build my house
Above and all around me
It mirrors what I know
It's designed to keep me in

What was the question?
What is it now?

I swam across the river
And crawled up on the bank
Basking and grateful
Not knowing who to thank
I thought of Zambezi
Arrested by the falls
The fate of all the innocents
Who fell over the wall

We sang them all our thoughts and prayers
And like vapor they left on the wind

Zambezi

Robert Owen

Copyright 2019 Mark Baughman all rights reserved

My name is Robert Owen
And I saw the light today
The flash came out of nowhere 
And then it went away
I left my wife and daughter
At her mother's house back east
Where they sewed on cuffs and collars
At a penny for a piece
Didn't want much
Was just hoping
For a tiny piece of pie
Stood in line for
Days on ending
Then they served another lie

My name is Bobby Owen
So they wrote it on a list
One hand begging, open
While another made a fist
I gave a long week's work and
In return a short day's pay
Most every town greets us with 
A sign to stay away
In the railyards
Under bridges
Any shelter in a storm
Old newspapers
Tattered blankets
Not enough to keep me warm

The last of my dignity
I threw away tonight
I won a little money
Then lost it in a fight
The last of my possessions
They took the week 'fore last
They hit me while I slept at night
I'd have given if they asked
Just a locket
With a picture
And a cutting of her hair
Just a memory
Seems so distant
Don't remember who or where

My name is not important
Though it's spelled across the sky
Been sung in church and marches
Though I never figured why
Was recruited in a beanfield
Where the sun had made me blind
We stood firm on the front line
And they shot us from behind
Hallelujahs
Were delivered
By a choir in the back
All the truth of
My existence
Was buried in a sack

My name is Robert Owen
And I saw the light today

Robert Owen

Eureka Springs
Copyright 2019 Mark Baughman

At a café on a mountain
In a town that time rolled by
I was thinking about my next stop
When something caught my eye
She was sitting alone at the counter
Looking up and stirring her tea
She slid off the stool, skirt bellowing
She set sail right over to me

She stopped and looked out of the window
Distant, eyes fixed, on a dream
A noise broke the spell and she looked down
And asked if I was what I seemed
She pulled at my arm, then released me
Walking away, then looked back
Watching her dance, I was thinking
Her train’s on some other track

She sat down, took my hand
Reading my palm
I closed it on hers
She was suddenly calm
Said she was an actress
What role would she play?
I felt this compulsion
To take her away

We left through a door in a mirror
To a valley with river and mill
Slowly we walked through a garden
Our way to a house on a hill
A flash – and the house burned to ashes
And the garden turned into dust
So quickly defying description
Whatever had happened to us

 I went to my coffee
She went to her tea
I tried to ignore her
Looking at me
The turned and announced
As she reached for the cream
“I’ve seen it before
He’s not what he seems.”

Eureka Springs

We Could Be Angels
Copyright 2020 Mark Baughman
All rights reserved

I was following the markers
Sun ducked behind the trees
And I came upon a man
With a lantern in his hand
He was old and moving slow
But he made me feel at ease
And the feeling that he gave was
Almost more than I could stand
 
The pride and the entitlement
Splendid in naivety
That had me misdirected
And staring at the ground
But the light lifted my eyes
And right in front of me
I saw a place where I could
Put my troubles down
 
There could be angels
If we wanted to see
Laboring in the backroom
To try and set us free
We may not know they’re there
But either way they care
There could be angels
 
Here’s to all the women who
Toughened up my heart
All of them seem different now
I treasure every kiss
Here’s to all the times when
I almost came apart
I'm wiser for the lessons
These days I reminisce
 
You all were angels
Maybe you didn’t know
You were putting down the seeds
And you hoped they’d grow
It may not be in your plan
You’re just doing what you can
You could be angels
 
I recognized an angel
Though I asked and she denied
She didn’t see herself like that
She just took things in her stride
But when I really needed her
My angel held me straight
For what I offered in return
She told me I could wait
 
Commanding the world
Sitting in my chair
Losing my perspective
With every decree
While the snows of Kil’manjaro
Rise into the air
They spread across the sky
And fall into the sea
 
We might be angels
Well, I don’t know
I thought I had more time
But I have to go
Be careful what you ask
You may see behind the mask
We might be angels
 
We could be angels
If we wanted to be
Laboring in the backroom
To set each other free
They may never know we’re there
But why should we care?
We could be angels

We Could Be Angels

This River Won't Flow
Copyright 2020 Mark Baughman
All rights reserved

Early in the mornin’
The cloud is layin’ low
Birds sleep in the trees
‘Cause they got no place to go
And the crickets in the tall grass
Singin’ soft and slow
Boys with their fishin’ poles
Soft on the moss
Drifting, half-asleep
They got their fingers crossed
But nothing is biting
And this river won’t flow

Time just stopped 
About an hour ago
And suddenly I forgot
Everything I know
When she told me
She just had to go
Now the sun won’t come out
And the river won’t flow

Staring at the distance
Shots fired at dawn
Lookin’ ‘round the field
To see which side I’m on
My heart was bleeding fire
But I couldn’t let it show
The gaslight and the lies
Drove her ‘till she wrecked
The grooming and the cheating
Did what you’d expect
She was adrift in circumstances
And the current wouldn’t go

Was still lookin’ back when I
Hit the end of the line
Summing up the reasons
She could never be mine
Tore myself to pieces
Thinking where she might go
Well, she’s never coming back to me
And this river won’t flow

I could never be her hero
I could never be right
I could never be the one
Who showed her the light
But I see everything
From the top to below
I did everything I could
To keep her on dry ground
I gave up all I had
So she wouldn’t drown
But she wouldn’t take the line
And she went down slow

Time stopped between
The dark and the day
My mind is full of reasons
But there’s nothing I can say
My face is lost and vacant
I put it on for show
I would fall into the water
But the river won’t flow

This River Won't Flow

Get Me Back to Birmingham
Copyright 2021 Mark Baughman, all rights reserved

I was falling out of my dream 
And my hands began to shake 
And the wind blew through the  
Open windows fast 
One last pack of cigarettes 
I bought to stay awake 
I can only hope what's left 
Is going to last 
Listnin’ to the radio 
I don’t care what they play 
Just got to get me to the 
Jefferson County line 
She said she’d leave at sunrise 
She said this would be the day 
Got to get me back to 
Birmingham in time 

The flags above the rest stops 
And the crosses on the hills 
A dixie call to prayer 
That was and always will 

Everything is possible 
And nothing’s out of reach 
When you’re driving on this road 
This time of night 
A phrase without a sentence 
Her name lit on a screen 
Next thing I know I’m here 
Racing with the light 
I just counted all my blessings 
You know, it didn’t take me long 
Some I know and  
Some I just believe 
Need to get me back to that sleepy town 
Paint my shadow on her door 
And show her why she  
Doesn’t need to leave 

Oh the air is wet and warm 
From the Gulf of Mexico 
Moving up from Mobile 
Where the world is turning slow 

I met her at the fairgrounds 
Right outside the revival tent 
We went down to the river 
And we wondered where it went 
She invited me into her house 
I said I couldn’t stay 
She said she couldn’t leave 
And the wind took me away 

 
The numbers on the highway	
Are counting down to her 
With all the needles 
Riding on the red 
And the cameras are flashing 
But I drive on undeterred 
The truckers making runway lights ahead 

Oh, the steering wheel is turning 
As if it knows the way 
It turns down to her street 
Just in time to meet the day 

And there were all my blessing 
With her suitcase at the door 
She smiled at me and opened it 
Just like she did before

Get Me Back to Birmingham

Does anyone out there still write songs that are interesting, with melodies and lyrics and meaning?  -  Yes!

Mark Baughman is a composer, guitarist, playwright, visual artist and architect (yes, really, an architect). Based in Washington, DC, Mark writes songs that are more than stories - they are movies with vivid characters and real emotions. The songs have carefully crafted lyrics, melodies and song structures. Mark is incredibly versatile and prolific, easily moving from one genre to another to express what's on his mind and in his heart.

Mark has written and produced to stage 3 rock operas - 99, Release and Energie. Each tells a story of complex contemporary adult life. He is presently writing his 4th show, entitled Victoria Falls, and he posts the new songs as they are completed. 

Between the rock operas, Mark has produced 5 other albums - She Dreams of the Ghost, Charmed Life, Victoria Falls, No Prophet Here and Divided by Zero - which further showcase his songwriting dexterity and musicianship. 

Mark's live band is called Working Theory and takes different forms depending on the show  and venue. And he's busy now working on the next thing.

Lost Man Standing 2

Mark Baughman's Working Theory