Untitled Playlist

Unleash The Beast

R.O.O.M.B.A. (Robust Over-engineered Optimized Multi-functional Bot for Assistance)

1. Sock Matching Feature: Identifies and pairs socks based on complex algorithms for color, pattern, and wear consistency.

2. Pet Translator Module: Interprets and vocalizes a pet's thoughts and feelings using advanced AI and sensor data, providing daily "reports" on the pet's mood and needs.

3. Scent Matching Capability: Scans a room, identifies all scents, and creates a precise air freshener mix to either enhance or neutralize the existing odors to achieve a desired ambiance.

4. Mood Lighting Adjuster: Constantly analyzes the user's mood through facial expressions and body language, adjusting the lighting and ambiance of a room to enhance relaxation or productivity.

5. Virtual Reality Garden Tender: Tends to a digital garden, ensuring virtual plants grow in a VR environment, complete with simulated watering, pruning, and pest control.

6. Conversation Companion Analyzer: Records and analyzes your conversations throughout the day, then provides feedback and suggestions on how to improve your communication skills.

7. Dream Analysis Unit: Monitors your sleep patterns and brain activity to provide detailed reports and interpretations of your dreams, offering suggestions for improving dream quality.

8. Invisible Housecleaning Feature: Cleans and organizes spaces in ways that are undetectable, maintaining the illusion that the space was always pristine without any noticeable signs of cleaning.

9. Compliment Generator Function: Scans and analyzes your appearance and behavior to generate context-appropriate compliments to boost your confidence throughout the day.

10. Weather Imitation System: Creates and simulates different weather conditions within a small space, such as a room, allowing you to experience rain, sunshine, or a light breeze on demand.

Roomba

Grease Dealer

Well, the preacher man’s hollerin’, brimstone and fire
Telling folks their dreams’ll drag ’em to the mire
But that old dusty Bible don’t speak for me
Ain’t no harm in livin’ wild and free

There’s a place where the truth feels right
Ain’t no shame in the Devil’s light

Y’all motherfuckers need Satan, it’s true
He don’t care what you wear or who you do
A little respect, and a deal that’s fair
Y’all need a gospel that don’t despair

Down here in the South, they’ll clutch them pearls
Talk big about heaven while they cheat on their girls
But the Devil’s got rules—ain’t that a twist
Only touch a heart if it wants to be kissed

He ain’t judgin’ who you hold at night
Just askin’ for a little mutual right

Y’all motherfuckers need Satan, it’s true
He don’t care what you wear or who you do
A little respect, and a deal that’s fair
Y’all need a gospel that don’t despair

Now I ain’t sayin’ sell your soul or raise no horn
But some kindness and consent wouldn’t leave you torn

They say there’s fire in the Devil’s hand
But it’s warmer than the cold in this broken land
No chains, no guilt, no call to hate
Just a way to live that don’t suffocate

There’s a freedom in the Devil’s song
And it’s been there all along

Y’all motherfuckers need Satan, it’s true
He don’t care what you wear or who you do
A little respect, and a deal that’s fair
Y’all need a gospel that don’t despair

You can pray all day and kneel at night
But a little consent makes it all feel right

Y'all Motherfuckers Need Satan

Saw my shadow in a rubber suit, talkin' to a mime
Mirror on the ceiling, whisperin' in rhymes
Stopped my watch at half-past noon, fed it lemon rind
Danced with my reflection, beep beep back in time

Static on the radio, cracklin' like a spine
Every clock’s a joker, tickin' in a line

Beep beep back in time
Neon shoes, twisted signs
Shadows grow and wriggle free
Funked up, folded history

Pigeons made of cardboard, shufflin' down the street
Gumball machine prophet, hummin' broken beats
Found a penny in the gutter, felt my life unwind
Danced with my reflection, beep beep back in time

Spirals in my coffee cup, swirlin' by design
Paintings on my wall, startin' to align

Beep beep back in time
Neon shoes, twisted signs
Shadows grow and wriggle free
Funked up, folded history

Traffic lights are laughing, red and green collide
Met a postman with no letters, said his thoughts had died
Rolled my eyes across the pavement, let the world rewind
Danced with my reflection, beep beep back in time

Letters falling out my mouth, scribbled every line
All my words a paper trail, foldin' into mine

Beep beep back in time
Neon shoes, twisted signs
Shadows grow and wriggle free
Funked up, folded history

Beep Beep Back in Time

Graduated from Corman Park College of Dental Numismatics in 1993, with a graduate degree in Experimental Post-Sludge.

mchorsebones@gmail.com

Beep Beep Back in Time

MC Horsebones