so close 2 the edge

he said it, i'm too damaged

w/ @scapexgoat


i'm trying my best 
i swear i am 
tryna show you i need you 
i wanna hold your hand 
i've been hurt so fucking badly i forget who i am 
this was never part of the plan 
so can you promise you won't run from me 
cause i'm so scared i'm fucking shaking
it gets hard to breathe
n i'm not used to someone wanting me 
god, it feels so fucking comforting

so pour me a drink
and i'll sing you to sleep 
n he said it
i'm too damaged 
bleed through the bandages
i'm so gone, god
i wish i never met him
n just to go sleep
have to be off fucking sedatives
i'm so gone, god
i wish i never met him

[scapegoat] 
i was in the backseat 
looking at my phone
why you never text me
i feel so alone
i just wanted you to stay 
tell me when the fuck you're coming back
i know i'm so bad
hate to see you like that
tell me why the fuck it hurts so bad
i wish i could save you but i know i can't
how the fuck can i help you,
i can't help myself

bleed through the bandages (w/ scapegoat)

bring the knife out, you're already killing me 

prod. @nevrfall

guess it's my fault
i just have to take it all
say you love me, don't mean it
you wanna play along
my fault
i get too emotional
losing feeling, i need it 
so treat me terrible

i'm a puppet
got your hands wrapped around all the strings
pull em tighter 
baby come on, make me bleed
i know you love it 
all the words you've been saying to me 
bring the knife out, you're already killing me 

head to a gun
whisper to me so softly
never enough
leaving marks on my body
isn't it fun
keeping tabs on my heartbeat
but this isn't love
my hands shake when you call me

treat me terrible

treat me terrible (prod. nevrfall)

i would’ve left just the same as you 

@nevrfall

you hurt me in ways that you don’t even know 
n you’re never there when i need u the most
n you never care when i break n it shows 
don’t say that you’ll stay when i know that you’ll go

i jus keep getting fucking worse 
i’m moving backwards 
i’ll keep on breaking 
do your worst 
it doesn’t matter 
it’s funny that i need you
we won’t have an ever after 
say you love me while you’re fucking someone else,

how does that work
our love was filled with patchwork 
a fucked up worn out pattern 
n everything was shattered 
so tell me how does that work 
n i thought you were better 
but every night my chest hurts 
n i can’t take the pressure 
so tell me how does that work 

so what does it feel like 
to know that you’re always on my mind 
to know that i really broke this time 
to know that it’s fucked up my whole life 
i don’t know what to do 
know that i hate me too 
n i would’ve left 
just the same as you 
n i can’t sleep 
in this worn out room 
drink through the night 
till my heart turns blue 

oh well
it’s cold out here 
kinda feels like hell 
left me for dead
but i wish u well
say i’m alright 
but i can’t tell 
isn’t that what u want

how does that work (prod. nevrfall)

i hate your poetry and you hate when i sing
some say we make a good team
at the end of the day you could do what you want to
i'll never question a thing
and i get so nervous legs start shaking
but im pretty sure you know
we don't have much time 
so make up your mind
and tell me where you want to go
before i take you home

maybe i was too optimistic if you want i'll take the blame
i just can't help but reminisce it cause i how these things change
i miss the way that you talk
the hop in your walk 
your eyes and that stupid grin
the way you said its okay i trusted you dang, oh why did i let you in
i should've known better wrote letters made things feel complete
instead i just let her, just let her slip away from me

i hate your poetry and you hate when i sing
some say we make a good team
at the end of the day you could do what you want to
i'll never question a thing
and i get so nervous legs start shaking
but im pretty sure you know
we don't have much time 
so make up your mind
and tell me where you want to go
before i take you home

now it's just me 
reminiscing eighteen
memories can't save me
but i keep looking back
now it's just me 
thinking bout what could be
memories can't save me
but i keep looking back
i keep looking back

cause i hate your poetry and you hate when i sing
some said we made a good team
at the end of the day i just did what i wanted
you'd never question a thing
and i got so lazy things got crazy 
but you probably wouldn't know 
well we had our time
you made up your mind
so i guess it's time to let you go
ok, i'll let you go

let you go

i fell in love and fell apart again

prod: https://soundcloud.com/afterlife66

(after everything, the last thing i thought i'd hear was i love you
but, i guess it never mattered to you like it did to me,
i'm sorry)

i'm the worst 
and god i know that
cause by now i realize
the reason it all ends bad
cause i keep breaking 
and you couldn't take it 
so i just lay down in my bed
and dream we made it

and there's so much more that i had planned
and now i sit alone with shakey hands
disregard all the blood i bled,
i wish that you were here instead
i thought that you'd be here to hold me
i remember all the words you told me 
you'd never leave like this 
i couldn't prepare for all the things i'd miss

the medicine, my lungs turned black
eight letters i won't hear back 
couple pills, i can't relax
it's so fun when shit gets bad

the medicine, my lungs turned black
eight letters i won't hear back 
couple pills, i can't relax
it's so fun when shit gets bad

medicine, my lungs turned black
i know you're not too sad
left a knife in my back 
i ruined everything we had 

i'd run away before you don't want to
if i get close i know that i'll hurt you 
run away before you don't want to 
if i get close i know that i'll
hurt you 

okay, alright 
i like when i feel numb,
i don't know what to feel like
okay, alright 
i'll fool myself into every pretty lie

i don't wanna fall in love and fall apart again
i don't know if i'm okay enough 
so i keep taking medicine 
to give my head a rest 
but what did i expect
(what did i expect)

and someday soon
your eyes will light up the whole damn room 
when you mention someone else
like they did,
when i was your everything 

i fell in love and fell apart again 
i can't keep taking medicine 
to give my head a rest 
but what did i expect

medicine, pt. 2 (prod. afterlife)

i hope you feel that back

prod: @jolst @afterlife66

i'm in a house made of cards
and it's falling
n i just break down 
seeing stars when i'm off it
don't say you'll come back
it's all the same 
i don't want it
cause i'll just bleed out
leaving stains on the carpet

don't bother calling
too busy balling
don't say you need those things you said you never wanted
i'm tryna be someone
i'm making moves, i'm gone
i had to go out to la so i could play that part
i hope you're doing better without me 
i hope you're telling your friends i was never making you happy
i hope you wake up sad
i hope you break down bad 
cause in the end you never cared,
i hope you feel that back

n you know just what to do 
move on to something new
i know you're good at that 
don't feel a thing i'm glad
cause for a minute i was thinking you would come right back

but you're so innocent,
you're so innocent,
you're so innocent,
you're so innocent

house of cards (prod. jolst & afterlife)

n i just miss the way 
you used to talk,
i guess
cause now i tend to think myself to death 
it's hard for me to sleep without a text
n i really fucking need to get some rest

i can play it up for you if you want 
grab my neck n i'll say it's fun 
push my chest with a loaded gun,
i'll do anything to prove that i can be someone
that you really want
but i have a tendency 
to fuck everything up, up
i need some medicine 
don't know what the method is 
off the sedatives 
till i don't know what day it is 

n i just miss the way 
you used to talk,
i guess
cause it's all i want when i'm a mess
it doesn't feel the same inside my head
so tell me goodnight and get some rest

n i just
n i just
n i just 
n i just

i just miss the way you used to talk, i guess (prod. afterlife)

oh well, whatever
i hope he's cool 
gives you everything you wanted
like i did for you
and it never even mattered
i guess i was a fool 
lost control of my heart 
tryna give it all to you

and i never meant anything to you, 
i guess
i'm glad found someone that you can love instead
i hope you tell him that 
say it with your chest 
cause it's all i ever wanted to hear
i tried my best
feeling everything,
i wish i was wasn't used to that
losing everything, 
i wish i wasn't good at that 
i can't understand
wish that you would tell me how 
to be okay with this 
i can't even save myself 

(vito)
it cuts deep 
through silk sheets 
where i sleep 
god damn,
you love watching me bleed
that's karma
i've had it coming
enough trauma for you to want me 
you can't even tell when i'm gone 
your life is still moving on 
maybe i'm coming off strong 
but i've been hurt for so long 
and still the worst is yet to come
i should've knew it all along 
i flew too close and in the sun 
lost everyone i ever loved

oh well, whatever (w/ vito) (prod. jolst)

je te tieandrai dans mon coeur jusqu'à ce que je puisse te tenir dans mes bras.

lyrics:

shiki
I see why you left, this is awful
I don't wanna die anymore, I just want you
Kiss me while I'm dying inside of this bottle
Fall in love with strangers, now my heart is a hostel

Left my love on the east coast
But I don't wanna be alone, I don't wanna be alone, no
And you can text me good morning, but we're in different time zones
And I know that you don't care like I do
I'll find another one just like you
I'll find a new one, call her your name
Black my eyes and paint my face a new shade of grey
I ran away, in East LA where none of my love can get in the way
And baby, I don't think that you could save me
But thank you for trying

I hope you don't know it's about you when you hear this
But I knew you'd listen, only reason I wrote this
And I would bleed for you if I thought you would notice

I'm too scared to dream since I saw you
I told you I would move to New York and write a novel
But I'm still in my mom's house
The one that you warned me about
The one you said was haunted
I'm nauseous, I can't stop heaving
Who would want this? I'm still bleeding
Hide my ribs like, yeah I'm eating
Come save me, this room is freezing

skele:
I know why you left, this is terrible
As I was writing this, I wanted to let you know
It's getting really hard to let you go
I wanted five more minutes baby, just so I could hear you talk
Cuz everything I knew just fucking fell apart
You never really cared, you just played the part
And now you're gone, it's all my fault

hostel w/ skele (love,matt x chris marek)

prod: @jolst @irby314
master: https://soundcloud.com/caustyk

i wish that i wasn't wrong


i wish i never called back 
you said
you couldn't tell me that you loved me 
no stress
i hope he treats you better 
than i ever did 
i always break when it ends 
wish you weren't more than a friend
cause i tried so hard
for this
i never thought you'd be gone 
cause i saw stars when we kissed
and it hurt for so long 
again
i never thought you'd be gone
i wish that i wasn't wrong

n i tried too hard 
i guess
i just wanna feel wanted 
and end up hurt in the end
n i should know by now 
that i'm not worth that text
if i was better then maybe 
i'll say it's love when it's sex
n you can fuck me up n i'll stay 
i've learned it's better that way 
i can convince myself that you care when i break
and when your eyes turn to grey 
and all the lies sound the same
i'll know you're leaving for certain 
i've learned the signs of my burden

n i'll ignore it 
like windows down when it's pouring 
i must like hurting myself,
i always know where it's going
n i don't know why i do that 
i wanted love, 
i can say that

i wish that i wasn't wrong this time 
i wish you would've been here 
i wish that i could tell you
i quit smoking cigarettes 
i got stuck on the sentiment 
couldn't look at our necklace 
and i cried getting rid of it
i heard that song
i played it all
wanted to tell you it hurt 
when you missed those calls 
took that trip back home
wanted to see my mom 
n it's been cold in los angeles 
wish we made it to fall
i still give you the benefit 
n honest i'm sick of it
you're not the person that i knew 
i don't know what you did with them
cause you got cold 
n time moved slow 
you left in july 
but i swear there was snow

i wish i never called back (prod. jolst & irby)

guitar by saint mike

i let my body rot 
in this bed 
till there's nothing left of me 
you can do what you want with the bones
clean the mess
find the blade that you left in me 

tell me why 
i hope you found a good alibi 
stay by my side
will it still hurt in the afterlife

you do it me
love when i bleed
your skin feels so cold
touch me at 30 degrees
put my back to the wall 
tell me i'm nothing at all

in which it finally killed me

[+] if you want my heart you gotta steal that </3
* featuring @lilskeleskrrt + @steadysuffer * produced by @prodjolst *

INSTAGRAM: www.instagram.com/seejayxo
TWITTER: www.twitter.com/seejayxo
DISCORD: www.discord.gg/DRfW7Q4Bmu

wanna go back

+ stream on spotify

wanna go back (feat. skele + steadysuffer)

another sad love song (prod. 2001)

give me 5 more minutes

prod: https://soundcloud.com/irby314

lyrics:
i know that you wont hear this
so i can be as honest as i want
isnt that fun
ive been wondering how it feels to stare down the barrel of a gun
so give me 5 more minutes
so i can clear my head up
so i can dry my eyes, love
i know that u wont get it 
but i think its time i said it 

i still care, but i know that i shouldnt
i cant help but wonder 
i hope your not hurting 
im getting used to my burdens
i know u wont hear this
my mind isnt working

my mind isnt working 

i still care
i hope u know that u can talk to me 
even tho your words cut me to the artery
i hope u know that i dont hate u 
even tho i really fucking want to 
so when its late and im feeling low
replacing air with chemicals 
i tend to forget what im holding on for
and nothing feels real
its so hard to forget when i cant heal

i still care, but i know that i shouldnt
i cant help but wonder 
i hope your not hurting 
im getting used to my burdens
i know u wont hear this
my mind isnt working

i still care, but i know that i shouldn't (prod. irby)

i ruin everything i fucking touch

prod: https://soundcloud.com/pekarot_16

yeah i better wake up quick
"get it going, gotta get an iced out wrist
aint nobody going fuckin hard like this
and i been down bad but now im on my shit"
and all my friends
wanna act like i switched
now everybody wanna take a pic 
god damn
see your face on the gram
got me really missing when i could hold your hand

it's a lot to see u when i wake up
it's been hard to tell u that i want us
i ruin everything i fucking touch
and you'll get sick of me wont take much

yeah you'll get tired of me 
you'll just stop missing my company
it gets so hard to breathe 
wrist cut straight to the artery
i wish didn't push u away 
but sometimes i really don't know what to say
i see your eyes when u ask me to stay 
i just don't know how much i can take
and it's a lot to tell u that i love u
i swear it's me, i wanna trust u

sick of me (prod. pekarot)

is it so hard to call me

prod: @deadspyro

so blindly, is it so hard to call me
and i feel low like nightly
but you're holding on so tightly
cause i fell in love so blindly
is it so hard to call me
and i feel low like nightly
but you're holding on so tightly
cause i fell in love so blindly

and you got a look in your eyes that tells me you hate what im saying
every night think bout the past in my head just replaying

im making bands, im telling stories that nobody else understands
you wanna verse need a check in advance
walk out the bank couple racks in my hands

5 in the morning, i feel like i am nothing
and everybody hurts me
too used to people leaving, no wonder im not healing

you dont gotta lie to me, you can tell me i know im the worst
i feel so bad when you cry to me, i know that it hurts
you dont gotta lie to me, you can tell me i know im the worst
i feel so bad when you cry to me, i know that it hurts

nicotine in my lungs im feeling better
my mood change real quick with the weather
new vans on my feet with the checker
is it real when you tell me it's forever

blindly (prod. dead spyro)

thank you for listening 
<3
@irby
@jolst
https://soundcloud.com/trechorboy

so lemme tell you what my life is like 
i stay up till the morning i can’t sleep at night 
i’m always waking up with a teary eye
lie to everyone n say i’m alright 

i’m way too fucking paranoid 
warning signs in my eyes i let my mind destroy 
i hate the feeling that my body gets 
every day i feel the same n i wish i could rest

i’m sick of feeling this anxiety 
worry about when you’ll replace me 
it’s getting hard to feel a heartbeat 
i hate the way that it controls me 

i hate the way that it controls me

trech:
give me until the end of the day to gather up all my things
i don’t know where im going 
or what it might bring
ill get out of your hair for the last time
ill disappear into the past time

i don’t go to sleep until its seven in the morning
its hard to rest easy when you’re mourning
life is like a circle it has no point 
and now im spinning all around in my room to this joint

worry (w/ trechor boy) (prod. irby & jolst)

thank you for listening 
<3
https://soundcloud.com/jolst
https://soundcloud.com/sadboiforever


it hurts me over n over again 
i think something’s wrong with my head
it’s easy to try and pretend 
but sometimes i’d rather be dead
i’m paranoid 
think you hate me 
shedding tears over our polaroids 
expectations on my chest, defenses i employ 

it’s okay, you can tell me i’m wasting your time
you don’t feel like you did and it’s fine 
you don’t miss me, it’s alright 
i get a bag n i spend it real quick 
i got some diamonds they dance on my wrist 
see me n public now they want a pic 
money can’t come much more easy than this 
every night i spent dreaming of shit 
every night i spent waiting for this 
i could lose it all
i don’t wanna fall 
i could pull the trigger 
paint the fucking wall

paranoid (prod. 2001 & jolst)

it gets hard to breathe
https://soundcloud.com/crackxlizard
https://soundcloud.com/hellahaunted
mastered by: https://soundcloud.com/trechorboy


so is he everything
wanna fall in love
get a wedding ring
taking back all the memories you got from me 
when i look at the past yeah, it gets hard to breathe
i bet he's giving you everything
it's killing me

wake up, i don't wanna wake up 
don't wanna live another day feeling the fake love
and they like wait up, i don't wanna wait up
i keep breaking apart
i'll take the pain, love

do you treat him like me now
say he's the worst now
sending heart eyes while he's falling asleep now

i don't wanna wait till i break down
haunt me like a ghost until i'm bringing the knife out

i bet he's giving you everything, it's killing me (prod. cracklizard & caspr)

i already tried my best, so why try again

prod: https://soundcloud.com/iofmusic

wake up
i can see my breath
cold hands
i can't feel my skin
shaking, body aching
pull me closer
breaking
i can't take anymore
this isn't the life that i wanna live
i already tried my best 
so why try again
is it over yet?
can i call it quits?
it's
seasonal depression
sick of everyone telling me it's a lesson
i should make more of my life 
cause "it's a blessing"
"and you'll be fine once you stop with all the stressing"
nobody understands
i can't get out my bed
i hate the helping hands
i've lost my fucking mind so don't you get it man?
they know nothing about me 
"he's just having a bad week"
it's lovely 

hide my problems in the alcohol 
drink myself away till i can't even feel a thing at all
i'm becoming just like you
it scares me to death,
i don't wanna but i have to

so close 2 the edge

brooke