originals

the new stuff

originals :)

recently ive been feeling really mediocre. really thought about leaving music and stopping creating in general but instead just took a little break from working on anything,,,, this was part of an old poem i wrote a while ago and never worked on. kind of a letter to myself. also sorry if i sound really nasally ive been sick for like 3 weeks and two rounds of antibiotics havent worked but i thought i should post something quick. also thanks for 15k total plays!!!

lyrics:My heart, don't you have anything left?
My heart,, stop letting them walk all over your chest, leaving long laboured breaths,
You’re a mess
My heart, he won't dare to touch you when you ask him too, so don't ask him too
I’d like to think you’re smarter than that

I can’t tell you why we’re beating
They can’t help you, no it’s just me
And though I can’t hold you when when you feel defeated
No one knows you like I do.

My heart, we don’t have anything left
My heart,, they found their way into my chest, making sure we’re suppressed
We’re a mess
My heart, he won’t ever love you even if you want him to, so don’t ask him too
I was never smarter than that

All we got is flesh and bone but they want it all Why do I always give it?
Feel the smoke filling up our lungs, every time we give it
We’re alone in this stop begging for help they don’t know us yet
They never will

My heart, don't you have anything left?
My heart,, stop letting them walk all over your chest

I can’t tell you why we’re beating
They can’t help you, no it’s just me
And though I can’t hold you when when  you feel defeated
No one knows you like I do.

don't you have anything left?

my mom took this picture i think,,
a quick track done in a few hours,,,,, was kinda bored -- to everyone ive been working with im sorry ive been taking forever to work on things,, this does mean im going to start working any faster lol,,, im stressed

;;;lyrics;;;
walk me through the fallen leafs
you know I used to love the way it goes
but somewhere along the path, you see
we lost our sense of harmony

and guess its just us, kid, now that we’re gone man we could do anything
i know you wished that, they’d be by your side but you gotta  get over it

they said theyd come back but we know theyre never gonna
and our roots about to break we’re falling with the fauna

now when we pass beyond the trees
all we feel is the fear they bestowed to me
cause somehow they lost their lives to greed
and they never once looked  at the fallen leafs

and guess its just us, kid, now that we’re gone man we could do anything
i know you wished that, they’d be by your side but you gotta get over it

they said theyd come back but we know theyre never gonna
and our roots about to break we’re falling with the fauna

roots

been having a hard time focusing and writing,,,, this is an old draft i never finished so i just added a bit to it and finished writing completely,,,, hopefully ill be more creative soon!!!

lyrics::
ABEC#m
I don’t fit your stereotype, so what am I, what am I?
Unless you’re gonna wanna fight
I think I could get behind, another try, another try

ABC#m
I wanna be a picture perfect family, I’ll be whoever you want me to be
I’m a petty actor, a pretty face
Call me after, tell me to stay
Someday, showcase me - someday, showcase me

ABEC#m
I don’t fit into her clothes, but don’t let me go, let me go
I could lose a couple pounds or so
I could be your chemical, don’t cast me as a cameo, dont cast me as a cameo

I wanna be a picture perfect family, I’ll fit your frame silver screen
I’m a porcelain painting, I’ll take her place
Call me baby, put me on display
Someday, showcase me - someday, showcase me

C#mBE
You’re giving me too much space, you’re holding me back
You’re giving me too much space, you’re holding me back
I wanna love, I wanna love, I wanna love
Someone like you loved her and I loved you
Someone like you loved her and I loved you

ABC#m
I wanna be your Hollywood Superstar, make me famous take me far
Don’t be careful, this could be bliss
Loving you the way she did
Could be better, Just let me stay
This you’ll remember the night we escape

showcase me

xistence sent me a few tracks to write to,, this is the first one i finished ! enjoyy,, check out more of their stuff!
https://soundcloud.com/nihism

head over heels (prod. xistence)

you can be the star

hey, still on a brief break but i was looking through my old garageband files and found this from like a year ago!!! i dont even remember recording it!! once i am done with therapy in a few weeks i will be able to work on more tracks, sorry i havent been productive!!

Eb G7 G# Bb Bb#7
Kept you high, oh my, I think you’re  gonna say something I don’t wanna hear
These days, I can’t see straight, whatever you say, I’ll follow you through the waters dear
It’s high tide, I tried to keep you  but I fear I’m going under, i fear, i fear

Fm Cm G
And oh the earth is crashing around my feet
As I ran towards the ocean to follow your beat

Ab Fm G Cm
Into the sea
I’m looking up
You’re so high and I’m down here
Into the sea
I’m giving up
You’re on top and I’m in tears

Fm Cm G

Eb G7 G# Bb Bb#7
Kept you close, I’d hope, that just once you would look at me the same way
Is it too much to ask just once? these things are not going my way
kept you high, oh i, wish i wasnt going under
going under

Fm Cm G
And oh the earth is crashing around my feet
As I ran towards the ocean to follow your beat

Ab Fm G Cm
Into the sea
I’m looking up
You’re so high and I’m down here
Into the sea
I’m giving up
You’re on top and I’m in tears

Fm Cm G 

Eb G7 G# Bb Bb#7
ill spend on my money on flying to a city where you’ll never find me
i’ll make money by flying past the palm trees, making scenes on tvs
ill spend, ill spend all my money

tides

afar

hey john paul, you wont see this for a few months while youre out there being an amerICAN HERO but i wanted u to know i wrote a song about u and i love u and miss u. this is like just for fun rn,, im gonna change it completely later, this is a draft.

CEAmEFCFEm
My love, you know, I would love to be close enough, to see you
But it’s enough, baby, more than enough to be, just in love with you

CEAmEmFCE
So what could really make it a little less like separation?
When I’m waiting for you to come home
I'll write you everyday, until you kiss my fears away
I’ll be waiting for you, come home

DmEmCAm
The first curve of the first word of the first letter I will write
FGC
Wouldn’t be easy if I didn’t see that you were mine

CEAmEDmG
So darling why even talk about goodbyes when we’ve got a hell of enough time to keep it going?
And come on dear let's compromise, you can leave for now but you owe me all the time we'll have

DmGCEDmG
This distance won’t be a problem, when you’re back home in August
Making me smile, showing me love

CEAmEmFCE
So what could really make it a little less like separation?
When I’m waiting for you to come home
I'll write you everyday, until you kiss my fears away
I’ll be waiting for you, come home

DmEmCAm
And the last curve of the last word of the last letter I will write
FGCAm
Won’t be so easy with excitement in me but I’ll write just to write to you
Dm Em
So think of me, baby when you feel alone

DmGCEDmEmC
This distance won’t be a problem, when you’re back home in August
I’ll be waiting for you, come home

august

uh... how do i say,, experimental? and how do i say, im sorry its been a while. been trying to find my style, i have no idea what i want to do. so im just going to DO. listen if you want but its really just for me bc i like music so :/
used so many samples from garageband, my bad...

call a doctor, youre alone
think its gotten to your head
and your threats against my throat, your words do more than just choke

you lie for the hell of it and you speak it like it matters
you lie for the hell of it and you speak it like it matters

dont say it again ive had enough
dying of a heartbreak overdose
and the words i like to hear you wont
say until youre getting lonely

call a doctor, youre alone
think its gotten to your head
and your threats against my throat, your words do more than just choke
call the cops, im so afraid
think that id rather be dead
and your holding me to blame, you know its more than just a game  

you lie for the hell of it and you speak it like it matters
you lie for the hell of it and you speak it like it matters

call a doctor, youre alone
think its gotten to your head
and your threats against my throat, you know its more than just a joke
call the cops, im so afraid
think that id rather be dead
and your holding me to blame, you know its more than just a game

call a doctor

lil demo

i took the blue pill
and i swear nothing changed
so i took the red pill
but i still felt the pain
and i think its unreal
how quickly things decay
cause i know its just a body
but i think i have a different brain

and soon, i wont walk cause my back will ache and ill beg for my children to call me
but im afraid that my kids will say that ive never grown cause i didnt go to college
and if i look like a failure to you well yeah maybe thats what i should have called it
when i skipped out of town with my head in the clouds and never finished what i started

i took the blue pill
and i swear nothing changed
so i took the red pill
but i still felt the pain
and i think its unreal
how quickly things decay
cause i know its just a body
but i think i have a different brain

and soon, i wont talk cause my throat will ache from the cigarettes i will breath in
yeah i havent started but maybe i will, who cares ,if everyone is leaving
and my family probably thinks im crazy and my friends probably think that im hard
to get along with when im throwing a fit cause i never finish what i start

i took the blue pill
and i swear nothing changed
so i took the red pill
but i still felt the pain
and i think its unreal
how quickly things decay
cause i know its just a body
but i think i have a different brain

and soon, i wont walk cause my back will ache and ill beg for my children to call me
but im afraid that my kids will say that ive never grown cause i didnt go to college
and if i look like a failure to you well yeah maybe thats what i should have called it
when i skipped out of town with my head in the clouds and never finished what i started

and i took the blue pill, but it tasted like losing
i took the red pill, but it didnt feel like choosing
and i took the blue pill, but i dont think thats what you call it
when you skip out of town, with your head in the clouds, cause you never finish what you started

pills

I don’t want to see you cry
I don’t wanna watch you lose yourself in a world where I’m not by your side
But all you ever do is prove me right
All your mistakes made twice or more, not sure how your filled that pride

I know it takes time but I’d be lying if I said you could ever learn to make things right
But sure it’s all my head or at least that’s how you sleep at night and I’m sure you made a lot of progress
And I know it takes times but you’re always gonna make me cry
Sticking the knife too close, begging me to start a fight

I don’t want love you like your mother did
Chasing out the monsters underneath your bed
Finding out fast they were you instead
Spending my life trapped inside my head

Calling you up, wondering if you missed me
Pushing my luck, far more than tipsy
With you breaking my trust and drinking to forget me
What I’d do to make you hate me?

I don’t wanna help you when all you is burden
these people that you’re hurting, i swear they dont deserve it
do you ever think about the truth, cause i swear ive never seen you
consequences kill you, honestly i hope it hurts you too

and like.. it repeats n stuf :)

like your mother did

https://open.spotify.com/artist/5VF6H8YRei5WHbZdO2iIiX?si=_Qmfq35RQw6XZ6TDyaoQjw
---18---
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tides

mehkare merson