still

One step to madness

I Just Didn't Know

additional vocals by heather ufer:
https://soundcloud.com/heather-ufer

lyrics:
if life is a movie
then i’m not an actor
i’m just a viewer
the movie’s moving faster
my life’s not a story
and you’re not a character
nothing is a mystery
i’ll float down the river

my life’s not a garden
your love ain’t the rain
i’m watching the future
pass me like a train
i look out my window
the ground looks the same
i look in the mirror
have i even changed

actor

girl it’s true
yeah i’m in love with you
please let me stay with you
we’ll do what lovers do
oh baby let me lay with you
girl how I ache for you
why do you play with me
I wander aimlessly 
oh baby I just want to die
when you look in my eyes
and then I start to cry
inside my head

let me lay with you

things could be different 
but theyre not
im a bug now stuck in amber

my life will be different
but it never was
i dont know what will happen
but it has already happened

just not to me
not yet
someone somewhere knows
not me

they couldve been different
but they never were
not for a bug now stuck in amber

they can see me from all sides
they can see me from all sides
up down left right top bottom front behind

just not yet
someone sees
someone unfettered by earthly chains
someone better than times restraint
someone with probably bigger brains
or a clam... or something in that vein

if one thing please dont forgive me
if one more please just forget about me
i think just one would be enough

if one thing please dont forgive me

bug in amber

more than a feeling (boston)

mr. bucket hat

well about 22,000 firetrucks crash a year
on the way to the scene of the crime
so your cryin aint welcome here
your burning house will boil clouds above
theyll darken if you let it burn enough
and theyll give you rain

well if it was up to me
i wouldnt be in love with you
but ill wait for the fire
let the cycle just resume

you shouldnt have let me explain now
im cryin in vain but i know
its just that its something that happens
itll take a firetruck to put me out
you know better than to interrupt the game
if you give someone a voice
theyll just complain

if it was up to me
i wouldnt be in love with you
but ill wait for the fire
let the cycle just resume
its time to take my place
so ill just sit and watch it burn
and if you see tragedy
well you stay put and wait your turn

22 thousand firetrucks

and so you learn another language
because maybe they might have some answers￼
or a philosophy of life 
that makes you sane again
but youll only learn
how to say
that you are lost
in a another way
you may work less 
but its just more time to think￼￼￼ a lot
and you think about
how theres no way out

it’s a breakdown
it’s just a breakdown

and you will live hurting others
youll hurt your friends and hurt your brothers
and you will try to make up for all of your mistakes
but even when you are cleansed 
of all your sins youll still remember them
and when you die you will hurt them all over again

yeah theres no way out
what were you talking about

it’s a breakdown
it’s just a breakdown

if you really want to cause no more pain
youd lock yourself inside a room and just remain
but i know you well and you would never do such a thing
cause even though you’re in pain
youd decide to live through it again
because at the end of it theres a light that youve seen before

and in that brief moment 
where it all makes sense
and its worth it
god knows its worth it

it's just a breakdown

it's just a breakdown (but it's worth it) mix 2

memory wears