tell me everything that you want me to say

New playlist for chilll

performed, written, & produced by me @mental
featuring @blxty

[mental]
i could never hate u
doesnt matter what u do
i know that u hate me
usually i hate me too
tired of complaining
but idk what else to do
tired of explaining
every wrong move i choose

feels like ive lost every reason
nobody else to believe in
think ive got too many secrets
so i keep sleeping and dreaming
that once for a change i could feel something else
and it pains me to stay with the cards ive been dealt
i could keep moving forwards and look for some help
but id rather exist with just u and myself <3

[blxty]
so bby tell me what hits harder den my words
i'm sick n tired of explaining so u first
i still cant find it so i cant tell u my worth
so bby would tell me would u feel the same..
if u were hurt
Like wud it work?
wud u find me useful?
or wud i b like dirt?
and maybe it's just a process
One that i can not process
bang my head n the wall
and u wont tell me i lost it
pls jus tell me i lost it

https://open.spotify.com/album/5dkyRFb1yJPEI0MDEtQi8v?si=7obS22PkQE-X6LH4oxsTHA

after you feat blxty

produced by @kuraiiii

[lyrics]

moving effortlessly
its so serene
you're the hope i need
so just keep holding me
i can never listen
its controlling me
i want our souls to meet

i can try my best to keep it inside
every day feels like im living a lie
keep a smile on the inside i cry
i was running but i wanted to hide

bad thoughts in my head im sick
no other feeling like it
you're my medicine
im just tryna be enlightened
but i dont wanna keep on fighting
new day another L
im tired of crying

i feel your presence and it pulls me in
dont have my heart right in your hands but you're controlling it
really i just wanna go home again
(dont have my heart right in your hands but you're controlling it)

[@7serene]

keep it inside prod kurai

https://open.spotify.com/track/2osiAqYqbnUp9oyXeXlvjk

performed, written, & produced by me @mental

lyrics:

broke my heart like 1000 times
been in so much pain dont even realize
i dont even think that this is real lifee
tryna find the courage will u be mine?

say whats up,
heavy hearted thats enough
i depend on hollow love
feel the weight and like a bug,
im crushed (x7)

i feel like im dying everyday
i dont wanna lie girl, im feeling scared
its not rly like me 2 be awake
every single night, when ur walking away
tell me everything that u want me to say
cause i could never say every word on my brain
i put my back in this art and my soul in ur heart
and u still wouldnt even do the same...
think i gtg :/

like a bug

wait4me ft. kuru (meta)

performed & written by me @mental
produced by @lilac @winter

lyrics:

i keep on thinking im better off dead
wake up to sleep hanging on by a thread
i cant exist without you in my bed
said every word that i shouldnt have said
heartbreak and anger my only two friends
if i died, what would you do then?
i don't know how long i can pretend
it's not enough just to feel this regret

can't trust cause they lie every single time
fake love feels so cold like the wintertime
and i tried, it don't matter i can't get it right
heart in my hands offered to the sky

never been the best at letting go
tell me things i don't wanna know
take my heart made my heart froze
that's the way that my heart goes
you're the place that my heart needs
i'm just tryna say sorry
i'm just tryna say i want it
if you love me i got it

yeah i got it
hate myself being honest
if you love me then stop it
stop it
if you love me i'll make it right
i don't really wanna say goodbye
take my heart then i'll take my life
take my heart then i'll take my life

#Nightcore

Spotify

cant trust :( prod lilac & winter

performed, written, and produced by me @mental

i dont know what ima dream about 2nite
i dont rly wanna leave without a fight
and i rly cant believe that thats my life
every single time i breathe im boutta die
i cant ever even see the reason why
ur even in love with me, but thats alright
ill just hold onto belief until i die
and then i cry and say goodbye

know u wanna leave me
stay up cuz im bleeding
it dont matter what im feeling
but its nothing, im eating

Love me, hate me, wannakill me

I h8 me so badd wanna end it

im so mad @ me im so mad @ me

im mad @ me

@violetxx9 <3

i never thought it would end like this
i never thought it would end at all
ill try to come to terms with it again
i never thought we would cry like this
i never thought we would cry at all
ill try to come to terms with it again

i fucked my life up
wasted time and empty smiles
i know things cant be the same
but thats alright though
thats alright though
i fucked my life up
wasted time and empty smiles
i know i cant turn the time back
ill still try though
ill still try though

you said you loved me do you though?
burning heart in the freezing cold
lovesick, you're the antidote
homesick everywhere i go
without you i don't have a home
theres a hole in my soul
you don't call anymore
passed out on the floor
its the same thing everyday
heart hurts, heavy weight
cant feel, not anything
i need another chance

need another chance
fell into your eyes it was just a glance
you can keep my heart i don't want it back
i heard every word but didn't understand
i still try to come to terms with what you said
whats a soulmate but my other half?
whats a soulmate but the one i lack?
if i heard you calling id be running back

don't touch me there it hurts
don't touch me there it hurts

i miss u prod violet & mental

drop feb 9th

prod @rpsu 
i also added a little lead to hook XD

again again again
youre stuck up in my head
idk where you went my friend
but i know i wont see you again

you played your cards right
i never got to say good bye
before i met my bro
i didnt care if i would die

oh well
i guess im here again
i guess ill try to pretend
pretend i dont even care
ill never forget you 
i solemnly swear
i lose you again
cause lifes never fair
and its never the same

cause nothing can change me like you did
you taught me how good real friendship is
thats something i do still miss

to you, friend (adrien)

Produced By @pyu
@diegointhedark
i Miss Uuu

lyrics;
interlinked, i cant let u go
read this like a suicide note x.x
my body twitch but for u im froze
still tryna figure out where ts went wrong

say im haunted
im unresponsive
i want u here by my side
when i drop dead
say i cant fall in love
but for u im all in
its just u and me
ur the one im calling

tell me to sober up
but ur loves my favorite drug
i cant get enough
u make me feel like enough
told u im right here
get you everything u want
see the time pass
ive been waiting so long

i feel alive
i think its time
to say that im head over heels for u
i was so blind
to look away
i cant see me with anyone else but u

you think that i grew up
but im really the same
feel like its been too long
without seeing ur face
i tell u hold on
karma comes my way
tell u be strong
wipe the tears from ur face

@diegointhedark
dreams of betrayal
   n fighter jets above
   dirt nn my nails 
   they dnt wna show u love 
   fendi purse full of my drugs 
   lifeless body full of slugs
   going unresponsive 
   this is what u wanted 

   whn i look in the mirror 
   i feel nauseous
   guts in ashtrays 
   my heads never been getting clearer 
   hearing voices frm my hallway
   plastered faces on the cover 
   undercover frm the runway 
   i cld never do wrong by my brothers 
   but i kno theydd  switch up on mee

Head Over Heels w/ diegointhedark (Meta)

sample: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jslXH90KMMo
I, cant let it go
cuz ik Id miss u moree,,
I,,, cant let u know 
everytime I feel ignored :/
give u the most n u just want more//
its never enough! just the same as before.. 
tried picking u up , but im dragging u down 
it all plays out how it sounds </3
u make my head spin, cuz knowing ur intentions,, 
Idk how Im not dead...? 
how am I not 6ft under.....
so used to just pretendin, ur the one ill be dead with
I hope u get the message...

@1akura -
sick to my stomach when ur calling me
its a struggle everyday i cant fall asleep
tell me - tell me is it gonna end
need u - need u right by my side but ik u cant
but i need u so bad
but ikk that we wont lasttt
js know that i miss u morreee

miss u moreee (decago)

@closr18

i know its hard to see the tears here on a black shirt
all ur words hurt like a fractured bone
treating me dumb like I didn't know the answer
wanted u to think I was the only one
in my life
threw it all behind just to see u cry
tried to look back it was me behind
look me in the eyes I cant even try
its not the same i was always broken
I don't feel the pain I got ibuprofen
tell me what to say all the words you've chosen
laying here like I haven't awoken
tried to run and leave me how?
ur words have the safest sound
grab my hand trust me like I figured it out
don't know the plan cant wait for it to turn all around

Ibuprofen (closr)

@jkjmetasco
@prodjayysoul

[arid]
u said u dont mind it
but tell me why im dying
ur words undividing
the feelings that I'm hiding
yea I wake up blinded
i know u dont mind it
look into ur eyes u know I'm tired of trying
was it enough to let me go tell me now cuz I don't like it
I feel it in my heart yea I feel it undeciding
everything we did was always something that u knew
I only want the real nothing that was blue

[jkjmetasco]
writing in my diary bout you
wait u want a bag, you get 2
blue money, blue car, blue heart
blue drugs when i’m down
put my blues in a song
i know why i hid from u
i know wat i did to u
cameras on, i ain’t in da mood
tell me why i’m dying to you
and u broke my heart, yea to the fullest
blacked out truck, yea, look like toothless 
bad mouth us, wait why u hate me
girl i pick you up, in a Mercedes

blue + jkjmetasco [jayysoul]

@blxty
@15elias

[mental]
you broke my heart its bleeding out
i cry for help i scream and shout
i need ur love i need it now
u broke me all my walls torn down
rip me apart im shattered
make me think i never mattered
i cant deal with all this damage
burn me turn me into ashes

[blxty]
going back to my patterns
im falling in
if u told i mattered
would it b pretend
feel like dolly
tell her that she still miss me
she don't miss me she only miss blxty

lets see how far all these drugs will get me
2d only see the part where u leave
its crazy how everyone wanna be me now
covered up in blood feel like a hound

[mental]
they all wanna be me
i wish i was someone else
live my life on repeat
secrets i can never tell
everybody leaves me
i know that u will as well
i know u dont need me
moving onto someone else
look up at the stars
fall into ur arms im safe
broke into my heart
everything is falling into (place)

shattered feat blxty prod elias & mental

https://open.spotify.com/track/30qOE3LSUCmV2ImcHJzjFF?si=m8xQlUZvRem3OTc2BMHoew

@kuraiiii
@176s

[lyrics]
im stressed u help me calm down
still i cant let my guard down
my heart always gets knocked down
so i keep it in lockdown

u make me calm down (you make me believe in me)
im still in lockdown tho
cant let my guard down (you make me believe in myself)
cause u might knock me down

free me
take me away
love, u
cant say the same
im trapped
inside my brain
hate almost
every day

u make me feel a lil bit better
when im down and under the weather
i can come to u for attention
hope u know u hold me together

protect prod sense & kurai

@twikipedia

@prodelxnce
@kuraiiii
@vinsoignatius

like a bug

mental

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