NEW YEAR, NEW EP

LYRICS:

ANNOUNCER
FNAF Versus Anything
Robotic Fizarolli vs. Funtime Freddy

Robotic Fizarolli (0:14):
H-hey there implings! Wait a minute- what’s that my sensors spot?
A-a-ah, an overhyped unliked bear who should’ve been left to rot! (Whoo!)
Shipped straight from Big Ozzie’s factory, this teddy bear wants to battle me?
Oh Freddy-dee, you flatter me! I’ll rip out your Ennards and leave you trampled, see?
You’re quite bad at your job if humor’s what you’re after
You’re a kiddie killin’ captor, I’m the comic bringing laughter
There’s nothing your voice mimic could do to top this wacky rapper
After I grab this rope and have you swinging from the rafters
Don’t need a frontal lobe when your mindless gameplay’s cheap jumpscares for a light scream
I mean Scott keeps on spooning and scooping you clean like it’s some Fazbear’s Fright-Cream
Just face it you’re basic, your 8-bit games have made your hated name G-rated
With your complicated lore and public shame, it’s no wonder your fame has faded
You used to be a Hot Topic, but then Scott got swooned by corporate evil
He sold out to Funko and MacFarlane for cash, but I’ll still POP this weasel (laughter)

Funtime Freddy & Bon-Bon (0:59):
Hey Bon-Bon, it’s the birthday boy! Why don’t you play nice and say hi to our friend?
Freddy, this clown belongs with Baby but he’ll be back there before the hour ends (Chuckles)
It’s a Funtime when I hop on the mic, unlike you and your gang of Hazbin stars
Cuz when I rap in a fight, I’m packin’ the bite, you’ll see Freddy has Fazbars!
I mean how self-encoding can his programming be? He’s not even the real Fizzarolli!
He’s just ripping off the ripoff of me, this Dollar General Jevil thinks he’s earned bein’ cocky?
This toxic animatronic needs fixin’, maybe then you could try it, Sparky
Though from what we’ve seen from your posters and marketing… you’re used to “private parties”!

Robotic Fizarolli (1:30):
Ooh, somebody’s salty! Chuck E. Cheesier doesn't know the first thing about rapping
I’ve been more entertained by Blitzo’s jokes, and even then I wasn’t laughing

Funtime Freddy (1:37):
What a party pooper! Fizz is hardly super, especially when in his rapping stupor
Why don’t you Fizza-rolli pollie away like the kids when they hear your humor? (Ha!)

Robotic Fizarolli (1:44):
It took a VR title just to regain your relevance? Seems like innovation’s where your Help’s Wanted
You’re callin’ me toxic? Look at your fanbase residence, no wonder your creator’s haunted 

Funtime Freddy (1:52):
Nobody loves you anymore, after your death everything’s been going swell
Better call it “oo oo and” ‘cuz you’re taking all the L’s! (Maniacal laughter)

Robotic Fizarolli (2:00):
Sure, everyone used to adore your series, a lonely startup acting teary
But now everyone’s descending Into Madness with all your dreary theory queries
Now your timeline’s gone bye bye, it’s time to end this indie tragedy! 
There’s nothing left to salvage, take a bow! It’s the end of Five Rhymes at Freddy’s!

Funtime Freddy & Bon-Bon (2:14):
Your mutated friends can’t step to the Freddy Crew (Ooh!)
A back alley scrap pile is where you’re headed to (True!)
Tried to make a difference, but your chances blew (Yeah?)
I’d prefer Trash and The Gang to any of you! (Ohhhhh!) (Airhorn plays)
Your lines were so full of cheese that I’d almost wanna eat ya
But if I’m Chuck E. Cheese, that makes you ShowBiz Pizza! (Maniacal Laughter)
It’s shocking, isn’t it? Seems you’re not law-suited to handle losses, without a doubt
I mean, it’s pretty obvious when your Sister’s Location gets more clout
It’s time to shut down this run-down clown, I’m done with his fun and his games
My fire lines have made this the second time that you’ve gone up in flames! (Ha ha!)

Michael Stark as Robotic Fizarolli

Snakebite126 as Funtime Freddy
Azia as Bon-Bon

Written by: Michael Stark
Produced by Beatg33ks
Mixed by Michael Stark

Robotic Fizzarolli vs. Funtime Freddy - FNAF Vs Anything

-LYRICS-

ANNOUNCER
Welcome, weary traveler, to Cyphers of the Unknown
Today's matchup is: Zalgo
Against
Cthulhu
Commence!

Zalgo  (0:31):
Your cult rooms will be filled with gore as HE COMES to leave his mark
On this hentai monster who’s become nothing but joke fuel for South Park
Looking Sad, Satan? I've been waiting a century for you to spit a good rap
What kind of Dark Lord gets squashed by a sword that shoots out kitty cats?!
Read the text Squidward, my plague starts to spread ‘cross the land
To wipe out this gimmick with relevance more dead than the star that’s in my hand
Please! My candle’s light outshines all that you can spit in this
Kelly’s carnage incarnate’s bars leave squids sleeping with the fishes
You’re no Necronom-icon, forgotten when ‘zilla hit the stage
Telling me you got into politics? I’d still rather vote for Kanye!
Best go back to startling gamers, for ZALGO is seven times the rapper
This little munchkin’s been tarnished and now we can start the next chapter

Cthulhu (1:17):
Zalgo claims to be a god, but he’s barely short of the Funnies
And even when this comic’s stripped down, he’s just a comfort cryptid for some sentient monkeys
So fear the Call of Cthulhu, a true Lovecraftian creation
You’re an outdated fad meme, rejected by the SCP Foundation
This Deviant’s Art is tasteless! Creepypasta crap, ever so bland
The corniest of TV Tropes can’t even flee from his own cartoon land
And the mic clips? Messy text? That’s your method of inflicting pain?
Being eyeless won’t help, just hearing my bars will make you go insane!
Your lyrics? Unspeakable, while in my stories I’m the pinnacle, invincible
The hivemind hides rhymes behind whines, you’ll find his lines are miserable
Archie’s comical to think anyone’s fooled by his flippant trickery
Just check Behind The Wall and see it’s me who’s taking the victory
Seven goddamn mouths, you’d think at least one would try to win
Quite un-4chan-ate, but I’ll still be leaving this flightless Bird- Boxed- in
I’M THE EMBODIMENT OF CHAOS, BUT IF HE’S INSISTENT ON PERSISTENCE
I’LL CONTROL HIM, ALTERNATE HIS LIFE, AND DELETE HIM FROM EXISTENCE

Zalgo (2:17):
That’s enough from the kraken, thought I told you to shut it
This is boring me, let's see how you fare with one of my puppets…

Zalgo as Garfield (2:25):
(Yawn) What’s this? It looks like Jon tried making calamari
But I’ll boot ‘em off the track like Odie, and this time, I’m not sorry

Zalgo (2:32):
Z͜͡͡AL͟͡G҉́Ò '͢͞S͟ ̀͡A͝͡R͠R̷̛IV̢̛E҉͞D̡ ͞A̸̶Ń̢D̴̵ ̀I̡T͏͠' ͠҉͡S̶ ͏U̷N̸͏̢W̷̴̡IS͜É ̀T̷̷͞O̧ ̧̀T͟͏͝H͝͏I͞N҉K͟҉ ͟͞T͘͞HA̛T͜͟ Ý̢OU҉̶ ̵̡̛C̷̨͝AN̡͢ ҉̡̕D͘͞E̶FE҉A̧͜T HI͡M͡
C̷͠͏A̢͜ŲS̡͘È H̀͢E͟ '͜҉̨ĹL̵͘ ̀C̵OR̛̕R̵͘Ù́̀P̷T҉ ̡YǪ͠U̶͘R̴̨͢ ̛́M̷ED͏̷̀I҉̡A͞,̸ ̶̧LE͏A̸͞V̛I̛͞͠N̸Ģ̧̡ ͝Y̶O͠͝U͘R ̢̨͞P͠A̸̡T͢H͝E̡T̨Ì͜C̶̵ ͠B̷ǪOK҉̕S͜͝ ̵͡T̵O̵̢R̀N̡ ̵T̕O ͢͝PI̴E̴͏C̀E̕S̡
Such a Weird Tale that you’ve woven, claiming to be superior to me
It’s Something Awful really, but now I’ve finally put an end to your series

Cthulhu (2:47):
Really? A puppet show to fight me in this battle? Honestly, it’s your Loss
But Dream No More, heathen, this is the only time our paths will cross
Your lines just put me back asleep, facing a god’s not something you should risk
They said “Zalgo’s coming”, but even after this I’m still waiting for a good diss…
(Malevolently Chuckles)

ANNOUNCER
Who conquered the mic?
Who Should Cypher Next?
Comment Down Below
And prepare yourselves for the next
Cyphers of The Unknown

Vladimyr P
Michael Stark
Matthew Thomas
MetalFireVA
Fightmarker
Commander Jacob
M!CAH as Zalgo

Mancha as Cthulhu

Written By: Michael Stark, M!CAH, ColeTheCole & Cri
Produced By: Dansonn
Mixed By: Michael Stark

Zalgo vs. Cthulhu - Cyphers Of The Unknown

LYRICS:

Greentext (0:14)
>be me; a sick motherfuckin battle rapper
>be you; fodder for some shitty Shorts reactors
>speaking of short: two lines aint enough to get the reader hooked
>creepypastas in two sentences? look up: definition -> undercooked

>thought you're leaving brains scarred? but we know you aint hard
>writers want to make dark stories but they stay stark
>everyones the same, farming upvotes just to gain karma
>mfw I won the battle with only 8 bars

Two-Sentence Horror (0:44)
I entered a battle, expecting a good show
But to my surprise, a dead thread is my new foe
Post that on the subreddit, and I'll get the numbers sendin'
Thanks for the gold kind stranger, now this fucker's dead

You’re not important- was dropped to be locked onto 4chan
Claiming your format’s a fortune- now your following’s full of four-chins
My stories are iconic horrids- leaving courage left on the doorstep 
But it seems that that's where this whore's been- ‘cause to me the dead isn't foreign

Greentext (1:13)
>joke’s on you, petulant fool, half what i say isnt even true
>know you’re through, and in this duel, it seems ive already beaten you
>but when i bust out with bars blazing you know you aint ready
> (long pause) hey want some spaghetti

>eyes lay on my text causing thousands to laugh then turn to your page to be thrown in the trash
>be like me, my music gets applause when i rap- i plugged your verse into the aux and nobody clapped
>you dont even need two sentences to know you aint beating me
>i-just-took-the-W-and-you-took-the-L.png

Two-Sentence Horror (1:43)
I bring real scares that is messin' up youths
You can see what just two sentences do
Your records are viewed as the bendin' of truth
Of Anonymous or a confessional booth
And the net that you've suited's offensive, the users
All fester in groups to be edgy and rude
The Reddit is brewing up actual horror
That Netflix is tuning in, getting a scoop

Your shit is too fantastical for anyone to even care
Your source is always like “bro it happened, please I swear!” (I made it the fuck up)
You really thought you could send me back to the graveyard
With only 8 bars? Please, it's more like you ate the bars

Michael Stark as Greentext Stories

Cri as r/TwoSentenceHorror


Written By: Michael Stark, Cri, 3ple, & GamingPlush64
Produced by: 2Deep
Mixed by: Michael Stark

Greentext Stories vs. Two-Sentence Horror - Meme Melee: Reposted

LYRICS:

ANNOUNCER
It’s Live Rap Battles!
Waluigi vs. Benito Mussolini!
Lights, camera, action!

Benito Mussolini (0:20)
Cool mustache- Wait, who’s this menace in my presence?
No matter, I know just an L can make this mess jealous
Prime Minister in his Prime, talk shit, get smacked up
Cause now I’m ending your reign, call it Wa-Luigi Facta
The only sauce you got belongs atop linguini
While I’m the conqueror with gold bars - Mansa Mussolini
Prepare to be overruled, you’ve never seen a flow doper, dude
I pack a bigger bite than the plant that they chose over you

Waluigi (0:40)
Waluigi’s gonna win, stomping all your army men!
Bringing your demise, like it’s a Mario Party-san 
Don’t dance around the facts-a man, your Facism ain’t happenin’
Ya can’t bribe me to stop these words; I ain’t the Vatican
I’m hung like a horse, you were hung like a bitch
Like my hat, took an L and then your body got flipped
You’ll forever just be known as history’s biggest cuck
Watching and waiting as a bunch of dudes filled your mistress up! (Wah!)

Benito Mussolini (1:01) 
I couldn’t cause as much harm as that voice just did 
That verse was akin to assasination- I avoided it
I crush foes with ease, your crush would rather stay away
Love triangle? (Ha!) You’re on the tail-end of her Daisy-chain

Waluigi (1:12)
And you’re a flip-flopping brute that Italy gave the boot
A tacky treaty-signing toot - Jeff Bezos without the loot!
You’re balding, I’m balling when striking against a fascist
Enough chit chat, it’s time my pal attacks to tax this axis!

Wario (1:22)
YOU FORGOT THE WAH, AND YOU KNOW IT’S A MISTAKE
I EAT TYRANTS FOR BREAKFAST LIKE THEY’RE TOPPED WITH GARLIC PASTE
Wario’s got the Smooth Moves, in another war that you’ll lose
Those verses packed with poo poo, just prove you’re crazy, cuckoo!

Benito Mussolini (1:32)
You can’t halt my drive, so just eat my dust
This stinky capitalist packs that Elon Musk 
But with your fatass, that’s one his rocket couldn’t even carry
I got drip like the Blackshirts, but what’s Wario wearing?

MUSSOLINI
If you get to bring in a friend, then I do too!

WALUIGI & WARIO
NO, PLEASE! WALUIGI NO LIKEY!
THAT’S A BIG NO NO FOR WARIO!

MUSSOLINI
...Fine, I’ll do it myself. 
Ahem...

Benito Mussolini (1:53)
You try time and time again, but still get wiped from every scene
Parties, sports, and cars? You’re the whitest dude I’ve ever seen!
While I’ve both balls and a Pact of Steel
Your claim to fame is a racetrack- cuz you’re the fourth wheel
That racket from your fans’ the only love you’ll ever get
It’s your own fault you’re getting served so hard on the net
My March on Rome brought me from socialist to leadership unrivaled 
Your fans couldn’t get your ass into a main title
Benito Amilcare Andrea Mussolini
He’s the winner of this battle and the savior of Italy! 

Waluigi & Wario (2:19) 
You think you’re all that with those wack raps and golden trim?
Can’t be scarier than when his people got ahold of him!
You’re just a player two; A second fiddle to Hitler!
They called you Deuce ‘cause you flushed your whole country down the shitter 
We can take you, your Blackshirts, and all your racist friends- (wahahaha!)
And serve them all like my namesake’s Mercedes Benz
You shat the bed in Greece and still brag about your might now?
Usually your troops aren’t supposed to get wiped out 
While you went down in infamy, ran Italy so shittily
Wario and Waluigi took the dub like Sicily!

AdamSandlerDRB as Benito Mussolini

Zawesome as Waluigi
Fightmarker as Wario

JosaiahGAmesTV as The Announcer

Written By: Michael Stark, SimplyRazzy, Commander Jacob, Snakebite126, Zawesome, Fightmarker, & 3ple
Beat Produced by: Allrounda Beats
Mixed by: Michael Stark

Waluigi vs. Benito Mussolini - Live Rap Battles

LYRICS:

ANNOUNCER
Let's give it up for Stark’s Rap Battles!
Dream vs. W.D. Gaster!
Begin!

W.D. Gaster (0:15):
Lost souls are never seen again trying to step to me
'Cause I make foes go missing, call you MC #17
I’ll leave you begging and pleading, but this isn’t someone that I’d spare
Quite ironic your name is Dream, when all you’re giving people are nightmares
The W.D. Gangster ‘boutta break apart your entire script
This MVP’ll 404 your SMP of Super Minecraft Pricks
My followers stay loyal, bending to my every beck and call
Your followers go and dox you, guessing you don’t want that addressed it all (evil laugh)
I’ll turn a hyped up mob spawner to a Hyper Goner
I’d rather watch idiots try to land some backwards long jumps
Dropping the hard R around your fanbase of minors
Yet your skin couldn’t be Light Lighter Yet Lighter

Dream & George (0:55):
Hey George! (Yeah?) Who’s this? I’m not subscribed to this white guy!
Guessing Einstein’s in shambles ‘cause he got split across his timeline
Screw the Manhunt, I’m turning the tables, you’re going toe to toe with the MC pro
You’ll get dropped again ‘cause I tower above you with my water bucket flows, oh!

(Doubletime)
Dream’s come to reap, but your fans did that for me
Poked and prodded till they took apart your whole story
You’re weak with each scheme, when each time I stole glory
Leaving you split more than your laboratory
Getting clicks while you’re ignored by the masses
Spitting sick, that’s what the point of the mask is
Shattered and scattered, I’mma fire blast ya
And leave you to tears: W.D. Ghast-er

(Normal time)
You offended, SJW-D? Oh, I can tell
So just sign off, language police, and take this AS-L

W.D. Gaster (1:29):
You left me counting sheep although you think you’re spitting mean
But Dream, it’s only rude to talk about people that are listening
This scientist, you can’t deny, ‘cause the numbers I’ve seen don’t lie
Let's face it, to face me you’d have to be a dirty cheater, right?

Dream (1:42):
If you wanna talk trends, I've been ballin' every month
'Cause you're always in the back, while I'm always in the front, oh!
Twenty speedruns of your game, (yeah?) Gaster’s still NotFound (Ooh!)
I mean I couldn’t get any FUN value out of your entire Underground
C’mon now W. D., for me, it’s nothing to leave a creep murdered
‘Cause when I’m speedrunning the beat, I bring double the beef like a Dream Burger
Whine all you want man, the darkness can’t cut deeper than my axes can
Keep talking shit and they’ll have to call you the man who catches hands

W.D. Gaster (2:09):
Testing the royal scientist was the least of your big brain plays
Can’t tell what’s faker; your persona or your pig trade gains
For years I studied the effects that human souls could deliver 
All you can do is make the net RESET their timelines... on Twitter!
With how far you’ve fallen, no boats or horses could save your skin
Goodbye Dream, your journey’s met an end here that you can’t pay-to-win (evil laugh once more)

Dream (2:30):
Sorry you feel that way, but you're getting dunked on, dawg!
I’ll leave you ditching this battle - call it your Jon Swan song
The bar-dropping lava-hopping River Man just sank your boat
I’ll keep my victory screech, ‘cause this white man just got ratio’d! (Ooh!) 

ANNOUNCER
Who got lucked out and won the battle?
Who do you wanna see battle next?
Well, you decide! 
This has been Stark’s Rap Battles, we’ll see ya next time!

Production:
Commander Jacob as W. D. Gaster

Eric The Audible as Dream
littleflecks as GeorgeNotFound (Cameo)


Written by: Michael Stark, Snakebite126, GamingPlush64, 01Tyler10, Commander Jacob, MasonG, Meta
Produced by Ihaksi
Mixed by Serena

Dream vs. W.D. Gaster - Stark's Rap Battles

I make rap battles mostly

Original stuff on the way