I Don't Want To Get Better

I Know This Turn
You stop asking for signs. You start recognizing the rhythm.
The spiral isn’t confusing anymore. It’s yours.

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The Braid

I Know This Turn

✨ as you wish

When fear has its hold on you
You’ll feel it’s chill before the warmth
(Before the warmth you’ll feel the chill…)
But if you let it take hold
Hold you it will
For as long as you get comfort from its embrace
It will hold you close (hold yiu close)
And steal your will
Your will. (Your will)

Hold on
Hold on
Emergency crews reported on the scene
Repeat and repeat again
Until numbness takes control
Fly away. Let go. Never to return
To the you, you used to know

Repeat and repeat again
Until numbness takes control
Fly away. Let go. Never to return
(To the you, you used to know)

The stress kills
Calm down they say
But the pills they gave me
Take my confidence away
I want them to comfort me
And perhaps they do
But the numbness invades my every move

Hold on
Hold on
Emergency crews reported on the scene
Repeat and repeat again
Until numbness takes control
Fly away. Let go. Never to return
To the you, you used to know
When fear has its hold on you
You’ll feel it’s chill before the warmth
But if you let it take hold
Hold you it will
For as long as you get comfort from its embrace
It will hold you close
And steal your will
Steal your will
Your will
(Your will) 
(Steals you)
[fade out]

numb

Late September Heart is a quiet story of almosts — the words not said, the looks held a second too long, the song left hanging in the air. Set against a backdrop of worn leather booths and late-night jukebox hum, this track leans into a slow-burning country-blues feel. It’s the kind of song that doesn’t raise its voice, but lingers like smoke — steady, honest, and full of the things we don’t say. For nights when something stirs, even in silence. For what almost was.

Late September Heart erzählt leise von allem, was fast passiert wäre – Worte, die in der Kehle stecken bleiben, Blicke, die zu lange halten, ein Song, der in der Luft hängen bleibt. Der Sound: rau und warm, wie eine Jukebox in einem Diner kurz vor Feierabend. Country-Blues in seiner stillsten Form – ehrlich, zurückgenommen, und voller unausgesprochener Dinge. Für Nächte, in denen etwas bleibt. Auch wenn nichts geschieht.

Late September Heart

“I’m Tired” was born from a moment of raw honesty—written late at night last September, during one of those soul-deep seasons when life just feels like too much.

It’s not the tiredness that sleep fixes. It’s the exhaustion that comes from years of fighting, surviving, and hoping against the odds—a tiredness that lives in the spirit, in the quiet spaces behind closed doors.

As Mental Health Awareness Month ends, and as another birthday passes, I wanted to give voice to what so many feel but rarely say out loud: the loneliness of carrying pain in silence, the invisible battle behind the brave face, and the ache of wondering if we’re “too broken” to be loved or healed.

It’s about naming the struggle, without shame or apology, and letting the truth just be—because sometimes, survival is the victory.

This song is a confession, a sigh, a prayer to anyone who’s ever felt spent but still managed to show up for one more day.

It’s a reminder that you’re not alone, and that every breath—no matter how weary—is enough.

And for me, it’s a way of honoring my own journey, one circle ’round the sun at a time.

If you hear yourself in these words, this song is for you.

I'm Tired

The love you never found

VXP - In a World

So, Mi Amor

Style note: Spiritual, almost hymnal, with piano and subtle strings. A slow build, from vulnerability to an uplifting chorus. Lyrics are introspective and intimate.


When the world grows quiet,
I hear the silence that knows me best.
It holds all the words I never spoke,
A gentle weight inside my chest.

The silence that knows me
carries every sorrow,
It sings me to sleep
and meets me tomorrow.

There’s comfort in darkness,
In secrets I cannot confess.
But silence holds me without judgment,
It’s the one who forgives,
and forgets.

The silence that knows me
carries every sorrow,
It sings me to sleep
and meets me tomorrow.

The Silence That Knows Me

We Didn’t Say Goodbye

our hearts have been untrue

I write songs in dark cafes......



Update: I'm currently working on a double album of songs inspired by the diner scene from the 1984 film Starman.

The following releases are available on Itunes, Amazon, Spotify, Napster etc…. 

Delirium’s Dread Heart EP (2021)
Pressed Flowers EP (2021)
One More Time With Healing EP (2020)
Gravity's Incarnation EP (2019)
Darkness And Distraction EP (2017)
Lost Cosmonauts EP (2017)
Gothic Lullabies EP (2017)
Letters To Yulia EP (2016)
Soda Fountain Songs EP (2014)

The following compilation is available on Bandcamp:

Glow In The Dark Stars (2012-2020 Retrospective)

xxxx

I Don't Want To Get Better

Michael Wadlow