made w michael ollin ♡

lyrics:

how do you do it all on your own
i want to be you, you always want to be alone 
starved for touch, you’re always off
i’ve been touched too much, now touch is all i’ve got
you keep a piece of everyone who’s died
so when you say you hurt, they can’t say you lied 
when you’re afraid, you put your fist through walls
you’ve got a hole for every time yesterday calls
cradle your face, ask is it worth it 
you say “i survived”, taping up your curtains 
“yeah it hurts but you wanna know what’s worse is 
they’ll all forget me on purpose”
i’m not like you, i’m more afraid 
spending every hour counting down my days
if i was you maybe i’d be taller
but you just rage til you get smaller
cause they don’t love you, rather what you give to them

i wish they knew you
how bad it threw you
talk about bad juju
but now you’re like them too
i loved you and i watched you
someone that i knew
you’re ruined and it’s cool
but i am not like you
i am not like you
i am not like you
you’re ruined and it’s cool
but i am not you

tentillforever

i fell in love again
september tends to be so cruel
he says my name and then
blah blah, so embarrassing 
but then he came and leaned in
and asks have i seen how it rains
in the plains
says he could take me there
he’s handsome as the day is long
all the while, inching his way in
like summer stumbling to a fall 
we sink into the carpet 
already wet with november’s rain 


i only bleed for him
mascara running like a champion
he says my name and then
i come so hard, i’d marry him
but then nirvana leaned in
and i lost myself again
to the rain
he asks not if but when 
blah blah, something meaningful
i don’t weave the thread
just run my hands along it
but if i did, then hell
i’d spar with death to skip your name


i can see the end
in the beginning of everything
so i just play pretend
like i don’t watch you leaving 
but you were never there
doctors blame the lead poisoning

Lead Poisoning

instrumental is sampled track 'Home' by Gustavo Santaolalla for "The Last of Us"

neighbor

White Silas / Ethel Cain cover of poachers pride, originally from Nicole dollanganger's natural born losers

White Silas - Poachers Pride (Nicole Dollanganger cover)

Ethel Cain - Untitled Tumblr Upload 2

open mouthed, she bit you
“you can’t hurt me if i never loved you”
i was wrong when i met you
about who i thought would save who

chose to be alone 
and walk the whole way home
soaked to the bone
hid your face
said i don’t wanna play
but you were born game

bambi

This is an older one, either white silas era or early ethel era

Ethel Cain - Varnish

lyrics:

No one told me the right way, the right way to go about this
So I'll figure it out for myself
'Cause how much is too much to give you?
Well, I may never know, so I'll just give until there's nothing else
Yeah, I'll give, give, give
Until there's nothing else
Give my all
Until it all runs out
Give, give
And I'll have no regrets
I'll give until there's nothing left
I'll give
No one told me how bad I'd need you (need you)
But I somehow arrived at that conclusion all by myself (all by myself)
And I want all you have to offer (to offer)
So I'll offer myself and I'll just give until there's nothing else
I'll give, give, give
Until there's nothing else
Give my all
Until it all runs out
Give, give
And I'll have no regrets
I'll give until there's nothing left
I'll give, give, give
Until there's nothing else
Give my all
Until it all runs out
Give, give
And I'll have no regrets
I'll give until there's nothing left

give until theres nothing left - ethel cain

من النهر إلى البحر

are you watching
there is nowhere left to go 
would i matter if i looked like someone you know 
all your money and good deeds 
will not return my blood to me
from the river to the sea 
please do not forget me

#freepalestine

من النهر

lyrics:
my honey’s heart is blue and a second offbeat
always tugging at me like he’s running out of daylight
yeah, my baby acts cool but they all know something ain’t right, ain’t right
only acting this cool when he’s walking with me
1998, forever and a day
i keep the pictures hanging where the world can see ‘em
i hope I die today
save me from another late night of red eyes
but then the morning comes
you were there looking for me but I
i was gone, turned my back for a moment and
you had fallen apart

they’ve been promising the lights as we beg for our lives
selling pages of the times we’ve been waiting on
now the weight’s too much and I can’t hold you anymore
how much of a cruel year can you call my fault?
not even the memories are immortal
terrified on this side of a conversation
a conversation we’ll never come back from
i’ll never live it down if I never get around it
cause goddammit, I did it to myself in hindsight
i liked him cause his rule was do whatever you like and I tried alright
now I’ll wear these scars for life
i loved you when it hurt inside to
but in the low light
you know I’d do anything for you

you know I’d do anything for you
you know it’s true cause I’ve said it to you
held in my arms, I swore I’d be good to you
then sat and watched as you walked away from me

christ is cruel but you're so crueler

من النهر

𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐥 𝐜𝐚𝐢𝐧

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