Poppies (cellphone demo)

Lilies (feat. Mercy Necromancy) - ethel cain

Head in the Wall - ethel cain

American Football (Covers)

For Sure

Perverts

Thatorchia

Etienne

Onanist

Crafted for headphones, this version dives deeper into the sonic field.
Listen in stillness or motion. But always in headphones.

Rimous Roils

Rimous Roils Binaural Mix

Rheostat

6//6//2016 

LYRICS
do i talk too much or not enough can't control anything
i used to say, that you are on top, that you can move mountains
tried to pick locks when i was younger with hairpins, 
i am forgetting everything as soon as it happens, 
pained by everything that i need to let go, 
yknow theres safety in self destruction because at least you know where youre gonna go
very alone i will not reach out, 
please dont come to me i am panic attacks and nosebleeds 
in the girls toilets at school 
oh, i'm grateful 
bull in a china shop, im waiting at the bus stop
blue tiled swimming pools, y'know i used to suffer fools
shouting less than i thoughtand breaking stuff i bought 
I learnt a lot of patience but never wanna be complacent 
i was crying into my sleeve on the top floor of an apartment complex 
i was 8 years old 
lost in a cartoon estate, you know i really think that she is my soulmate 
sorry if this is weird
nearly half disappeared at 17 years i try to retrace, 
pinpoint and drawing maps try to figure out exactly what happened to me, very alone i do not reach out 
please come to me i am panic attacks and nosebleeds and these are not battlescars 
these are the echoes of a disorder 
messy taurus girl with blood caked under your finger nails 
i won't ask questions 
suffocating for years and drowning in all of your fears 
i am terribly afraid strangled by desperation 
she said "you mess of crooked teeth, what'd you bury underneath?" 
i used to watch videotapes in my mams bedroom when i was sick 
i always knew how i would die one day 
on my own terms always on my own terms
and she said "dear, you are not an island" 
drinking cranberry juice at night and spilling it on myself 
oh god i need to go 
there is a past and I remember it 
I need to float through the ceiling

the stuff you think about late at night and never tell anyone about

Onanist

𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐥 𝐜𝐚𝐢𝐧