Neil’s flow was a bit wonky, especially in the last verse. Pretty decent otherwise.

i love how you do these unexpected/odd matchups. it really gives this series identity imo. in any case, this was great. Han won imo

00:00

Lyrics/Karaoke/Trivia: https://docs.google.com/document/d/19q8owAtPSf-cUfzuQXFx2SGeSTgUZbTGqS1lri6emBU/edit
MetaMachine as Banjo
Freshy Kanal as Kazooie
Elijah as Popo
Azia as Nana
Written by MetaMachine, Dani Frias, B O R K, Rabi, Jade and Gengo the Cannoli King.
Mixed by Dustin
Thumbnail by AaronGPeters
Beat by Kustom
Hint for Meta's next battle: "Nintendo's Alternate All-Stars"
Hint for Gengo's next battle: "Bare Your Fangs"

Banjo and Kazooie vs. Ice Climbers

Welcome to what I guess is the first episode of Lame-Ass Rap Battles! (Pac-Man vs WHG’s getting delayed, sorry.) Today we have a battle of evil artificial clones with Metal Sonic vs DoodleBob. Enjoy!

Commander Jacob as Metal Sonic
GamingPlush64 as DoodleBob
Mixed by GamingPlush64
Written by Commander Jacob and GamingPlush64
Produced by Smoke

Lyrics

Metal Sonic:
I’ve my target acquired: a reckless sketch his builder ditched
Aka stick-legged freak spewing epileptic gibberish 
Got a chaotic flow that's aimed at you, well ain’t it brutal?
They put a mic-killing monster against a janky Frankendoodle
Your pencil and place in battle’s number two, so you're in trouble
Reduced to bootleg merch. Now I’m popping your RedBubble
The bad-ass Badnik’s giving him a bad nick and leaving him hurt
Hypothesis: your magic pencil still can’t write out a decent verse

DoodleBob:
You think you’re cool, but you just got me annoyed, boy
So make your next form a better rapper, son of a nyoy nyoy!
Can't stand this toy's noise. Got the slave of aluminum stressin’
But things get sketchy when you enter the Doodle Dimension
Going mach-5, but not even good enough for ‘06, man. You can’t withstand
That a neo nazi’s boutta get damned. Line him up and strike a bowling ball through this tin can
Or I’ll bust out the lead if you tryna gra-fight. So now what?
I oughta call it a draw, Eggbreath already screwed your mouth shut

Metal Sonic:
You act tough, but something you never considered
I’d be more intimidated facing Jellyfish Squidward
You from the shredder or printer? Either way, I’ll have you slashed through
But back to dimensions, your rhymes and design barley have 2
Locate a sharpener if you think on a track you can beat me. Don’t make me repeat
The elite machine will remind you that he was built to be on a CD
Analyzing from all angles: your chance to win’s looking thin
Firearms unrequired; initiating “throw a book at him”

DoodleBob:
Every time you think you’re besting Sonic, you end up dead wrong
I command a doodle army, you stalk and copy a hedgehog
I can tell you don’t lack grit when you rage like a spastic
Didn’t know the position “Bad-nik” was talkin’ ‘bout your rap shit
Forever in Omega’s shadow and forgotten, good riddance
You’re the Terminator if he listened to too much Skrillex
Scrapping this Metallic Madness and putting an end to the race
Because I don’t need the pencil to have your relevance... erased

Metal Sonic vs DoodleBob | Lame-Ass Rap Battle #1

Hey everyone! We are back with a long awaited rap battle that I've been hinting at for ages. Today we have space smuggler and pilot of the Millennium Falcon, Han Solo, against the first man to set foot on another celestial body, Neil Armstrong. Enjoy!

CAST
Zawesome as Han Solo
Mancala as Neil Armstrong

LYRICS:
Han:
I’ve got a bad feeling about your attempt, like the ninth
I’ll tell you the odds: week-lings need not apply
Your twin missions were a bust, like the Cloud City raid
I won’t take it from a guy who wore a tampon to space
You’re a bigger hunk of junk than my transport for fleeing
Hell, even Jabba’s a more decent human being
While the glorified photographer’s here to do his worst
The fans deserve to know that Han shot first

Neil:
Houston, we have a problem, and it sucks quite violently
Flash Gordon got ripped off and took up vacuum piracy
You’re on needles and pins trying to thread that space cruiser
Looks like you need some schooling; let me show you my maneuvers
Gals complain of sub-parsecs with your rocky relations
Because you’re looking for love in Alderaan places
I’ll have you whipped into shape and you’ll scream bloody murder
You stuck up, half-witted, bad-at-rapping Nerf-herder!

Han:
You should be more concerned about landing that Stormtrooper credo
Don’t Leia hand on me, or you’ll end up like Greedo
You’re on MY stomping ground, so your plan is getting soiled
You’ll need another round of quarantine after we’ve been embroiled
Hop back to the door, so you can let the other boys out
Slap that patch on your sash like an old, faded Boy Scout
You’re the First Man to make a space flick without life
Go climb your launch tower and take a giant leap for mankind

Neil:
Ladies and gentlemen, the rapper has landed!
And like a game of sabacc, man, your ass is getting handed
‘Cause your style, like the atmosphere around me, is quite thin
Just calm down, hon; take it on the chin
Your rhymes can’t be more wooden if you were still a carpenter
You’ll be flagged as a doormat by this driven orbiter
I’ll cut out, ‘cause the middle man, best pilot in the galaxy
Tried to give me the shaft; guess it runs in the family

Beat By: Epistra
Mixed By: Freshy Kanal
Cover By: Commander Jacob
Art By: Cyancoat Enzo

Han Solo Vs Neil Armstrong| GridLine Rap Battles Season 2

this took way too long to finish but i stopped caring a long time ago
[im not actually back i just wanted to get this released]

underscores as Springtrap
MetaMachine as Big Chungus

Springtrap:
Another phantom’s in the halls, I’ll add him to the Scrap pile
You got no shot against reborn demons when we’re left to rap vile
Two-faced doppelganger hack, skills in rap are what you lack
The illest to break the mould/mold when I’m scorching like the tract
Attemptin' burning, but I'm assurin' a come-back; there's no Bonus Round when I leave a Chung trapped
A hallucination on par with the AC’s lung crap, but no comparison when I tear and lunge that
The ceaseless deceasing Caesar seizes any Looney meme
When I leave the grey hare purple-hued, bruised, creaking at the seams
BC was an ancient, dead shitpost 'till 2019's locks, see
Reddit hopped on unfunny tubby bunnies like their names were Phantom Foxy
And now you're dead in your tracks again, withering in cracks
For you, it seems that they don't… always, come back.

Big Chungus:
Eh, shut up doc! You want a challenger in killing zeal?
You'll do more than spring out when kids are your Achilles heel
Crawl back to your vents before you vent about that weak demeanour
(Eh) And with that fursuit carcass, guess you're the real stinker!
I'm spittin' sick like it's your attraction's blackened mold
You blast 'ta sound clips, wit-less, playin’ camera whack-a-mole
But you love chasing vocals, so just try this on for size
When this’ll be a more crippling flaw than your fursuit’s springing ties
I’m the biggest, coldest chungus plungin’ any opposition
Lunge at grungy runnin’ bunnies in more of a mess than their condition
All it took was five unfriendly ghosts to back up and unfold 'ya
Submit to your own sin, Afton!
...That oughta hold ya!

dont replace the m in mexico with s

Welcome back to Half-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have the monochrome LCD character against the monochrome LSD character; Mr. Game & Watch vs Grey Man. Enjoy!

Raichous as Mr. Game & Watch
Mr. Tibbs (Gridline Studios) as Grey Man

Written by Commander Jacob w/ help from Zawesome
Mixed by Light
Prod. by Marsad Men

-LYRICS-

Game & Watch:
Parachute in to win, it’s an icon you’re fighting, man
This Fire man throws bacon, eggs, and fine raps off a frying pan
Been Ball-ing from the start. Where’ve you been? I can’t tell
As an expert, I can say fame’s something you’ve never handheld
This rapping trampoline lander’s smacking you like a 9 hammer
And your win’s a crazier dream than those of all your programmers
Slenderman in a trench coat? He only has one mode: stalk
Mister, watching your game has got me watching my own clock

Grey Man:
A fat-nosed shadow thinks that he's fit for battle? Boy I'll laugh
When I have him tripping and he still tries to fight with oil cans 
Ring your bell for help! I’m Krueger of the PlayStation
Leaving beats and dreams corrupted. Still think it's an emulation?
Here’s the red Flagman; you’ll get slaughtered just from napping
It’s one of your two functions; learn it’s time to stop rapping
I Violently Diss-strict. The pain won’t leave when you wake up.
Even people who play Smash have forgotten you like a brain flush

Mr. Game & Watch vs Grey Man | Half-Ass Rap Battle #3

LYRICS

Bill Cipher:
(...Woah, now, lemme just cut you off there)
I thought Battle Bytes ended this, why am I back here, producer?!
I see why SoundCloud makers suck; you made me versus THIS loser!
So I’ll leave you trashed and replaced like my bout with Freddy
But I guess you’d be used to that, just checkin’ out your dev team!
I mean, lookin' at these lyrics, and reading your dialogue,
for the con sub of Subcon, you're no arsonist with fire logs!
But I'm used to smokin' pine trees! Conjure your best lines, please
‘Cuz I’ll give ‘ya two and a half minutes ‘fore your soul is mine, G!
I'm an icon! You're sold for nostalgia, the classics!
You’ve got kids kicking your ass, hctib! I could even slash Hat Kid!
Your schtick is sick -- a twisted rapper ripped from Twilight Zone
Turn Thousand Year Door chests to stone and place them atop my highest throne!

Snatcher:
FOOL! Activated my trap card-
Leave you paved in the graveyard, if you wanna throw wack bars
But we’ve got a deal to seal -- just sign now and you’ll find
that you haven’t paid the price and whoop! Your soul’s mine!
Awww, you can break the fourth wall, too?
...is that all, dude? Hit me up when those jokes grow overused
then I’ll freeze you in your tracks if you wanna test the best, ‘cuz
after this, you’ll end like Queen Vanessa!
And while you’re messing around in mindscapes
I’m dealin’ in the courtyard, raking high stakes
You make time breaks, but on my watch, you’d best read the fine print
Either sign the line, kid or be left lifeless!

Bill Cipher:
Booooriiiiiiing! That filler wasn't even worth the wait
Who would expect less from a slurry Jade role, in hindsight?
I mean, I'd be a hermit too if I had THAT kind of face
But it'd look better inside; let's take a look in your mind’s plight!
...Wooooaaaah, dude, I've got a really stupid end!
My own wife murdered me just 'cause I spoke to some lady friend!
Now I cry alone in the woods, useless, without peers,
'cause the only ones who ever cared about me have been dead for years!

Snatcher:
...Did you just try to possess me during your own verse?!
God, even your cliché powers have grown worse...
Mocking my death? Right, remind me how you came to "win."
Oh yes! You got screwed by the Mr. Krabs twins!
You really ARE a fool! And I thought *I* was the trickster!
But Gravity's drop won't be PG! Drop a warning for these tri-ggers!
And to mock my forest? It's no secret that you're Tourist
-Trapped in Oregon's organs, reignin' foggier than Portland
I know you don't mean to bore us, but you do with every chorus
'Cuz while I'm spittin' up torrents, you're just spewin' like the Toilet!

Bill Cipher:
I'm trying to search for literally just ONE decent rap
But it's invisible! ...What, do I need a Dweller Mask?!
I'd love to shake on it, but I don't want 'ya on my palm, you're
stretchy, purple, slimy? You're just the snot behind the slaughter! 
Ghoul's EXACTLY What He Seems, flat like his form in the first run
You steal souls and beats from Dustin? I storm REALITIES for fun!

Snatcher:
You can tri from any angle, but it just comes out scalene
When against a-cute Euclid-ian, I'm more Keter in scaling
the worst Bill since Clinton, but I know how to make this fight fair:
Welcome to this lucid dream, pet; have fun in eternal nightma-

CREDITS

ENNWAY As Bill Cipher
https://soundcloud.com/indiegamerapbattles
Nekomancer Jade as Snatcher
https://soundcloud.com/neko-nekomancer

Beat by Kustom
Demo by Nekomancer Jade
Written by Rabi and Nekomancer Jade
Mixed by DeegleNV
https://soundcloud.com/deeglenv
Thumbnail by Rabi
Art by Nooby and KCToons
https://www.youtube.com/c/KyleCelezte1350/about
https://soundcloud.com/user-465943028

Bill Cipher vs. Snatcher - Rap Battle

FyxFynn as Tomura Shigaraki 
Malina Rose as Cinder Fall

Shigaraki (0:14):
I’ll be the one to make Fall fall, the world’s at the tip of my hands and you’re
A moody little karen out on a quest to speak with Salem’s manager
Don’t need a scythe to break you like your trust
I'm not the first villain to leave you cucked
Even your fanbase agrees that you sucked
Up until Volume 4 when you finally shut up!
Topping Shigaraki? No child could stop me
My ideals speak volumes, you’re at the bottom, pleading
For a chance to make up for your crapfest in Atlas, you’ll always exist as a way to mock Disney
I haven’t seen a Stain as annoying as you since that damn blood lusting coward
‘Cept you? You’re just boring, with motives so basic they can be summed up with “Grrr, I want power”
Your faction is falling, I could do this later, no craters so I’ll do you like your creator
Potential is wasted, erased from the paper of this traitor who frightens me less than Eraser
I’ll slay her! her powers were Maiden China, no wonder she got clapped by a bird
Use that good eye well, the last thing it’ll see is my thumb; any last words?

Cinder (1:01):
You sure know how to use that quirk, all I heard were decayed bars in your whole verse
Sit back as I turn this track to ashes, I’ll laugh as you scratch your neck till it burns 
The lesser successor would be better off giving his power to me, don’t need two eyes to see it
You’re Torchwick minus the looks, even have the same destiny as him, I believe in it
Plots so idiotic, you’re mocking yourself, think Japan’s gonna fear you? Stop it!
You try to subside every hero and ended up becoming one for Hot Topic!
Pathetic, I’d make your league fall for fun. this battle’s All for One; and it’s Fall, not Tom
Your father pulled a Notre Dame on you, now you’d get killed by a stick of lip balm!
Pouty little incel, so desperate for attention you constantly play pretend
Destroyed a whole city, everybody still looked at you and just said “..who are you again?”
You’ll meet a fate worse than the end of a knife, I’ll tell you how this’ll end; with you getting iced
Still think we’re playing games? Alright then, consider me the final boss. I just took your last life

Written by FyxFynn
Mixed by DeegleNV
Cover art by Fightmarker
Beat by 2Deep

(BONUS) Tomura Shigaraki vs Cinder Fall // Rap Battle

(CONTEXT: https://i.redd.it/sxgappnq4mw11.jpg)

Welcome back to Half-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have a battle of the goofy mutilated murderers: MDHHCD vs Hash-Slinging Slasher

-LYRICS-

Man Door:
(Yo) whatcha gonna do, wave at me with your nub singed?
I got a handle on this battle; Man Door is unhinged
Oh look, more slime to spill down the Krusty Krab walls as usual
Frying and firing this fry cook like a 2nd funeral
My bars have got that secret sauce that you're lacking, huh?
You couldn’t flip a line if both of your hands were spatulas
Speed of Gary when you’re rhyming. Try to run from my sickle
You’re bout as scary as a pirate tryna come for my pickle (ugh)
Hop back on your bus, cuz you best be retreating
Don’t need Nosferatu, I’ll knock your lights out neatly
Let’s hope your verse is like your phone calls: no speaking
I’ll leave you in the dumpster, so good luck… sweaty

Hash-Slinging Slasher
Staying up… at night with THAT verse? Bad decision
But to be fair, it was longer than your story to begin with
How’s a guy with no name or design think he’s not losing?
Both raise our eyebrows: you with fear, me with confusion
Either learn better English or get slayed hard, bitch
If I let you in, be ready for a graveyard shift
And with your hook lodged in the door, it’s time that I sped up
I’m looking to see red like “dude, can I get some ketchup?”
I got your ass sprinting backwards like a gas-thieving bastard
Yo, you’re a trash-flinging rapper, and I’m the Hash-Slinging Slasher
Go back to stealing steres, you copypasta wannabe
I stopped the voice cuz I was nervous you’d keep spitting awfully


Light as Man Door hand Hook Car Door
Commander Jacob as Hash-Slinging Slasher
Zawesome as Ketchup Requester (cameo)
Written by Commander Jacob and Zawesome
Edited and thumbnailed by Commander Jacob
Mixed by Light
Prod. by 2Deep

Man Door Hand Hook Car Door vs Hash-Slinging Slasher | Half-Ass Rap Battles

Alex the Beast as Machamp
Dani Frias as Galarian Farfetch'd

Machamp:
My opponent’s a lowlife alola- galarian?
Smoke it with no fists, my toe tip could bury him
Pokemon’s GOAT, leaving foes without any limbs
Won’t waste my focus on no vegetarian

Farfetch’d:
Sure, keep insulting me like I’m the weak fighter
Only thing you’re good at breaking’s mirrors, Meat Spider
But if you’re gonna just continue laughing when we brawl
Well, then we’ll see who’s the gag when I evolve
Sirfetch’d:
I’ll strike at this tacky undeveloped sore sissy
With his gigantamax form looking like a gormiti 
Looks to me like you missed boxing 101, so I’d better state
Strapping a geodude to your back doesn’t make you heavyweight
Heh, at this point, Frankenstein should just pack up
With that mug, not even my beak could match up
Don’t wanna get intense cause this feud is petty
I’ll put down my sword and I’ll give you a wedgie

Machamp:
So Flour Power wants to say he’s improved
He just turned into the bad ending of playing with food (ha!)
Face with the ride me eyes, lay down your dying hype
Flimsy and weak, a disgrace to the fighting type
Basically Flying, why you in the first place?
Close to my level? You belong in a bird cage
This joke in the game’s shot at smoking my fame?
Want the answer? You got it in your own fucking name
I’m peak performance, your leek’s your offence
So maybe think twice before you beef enormous
Muscles I’m rocking that make my foes shudder, stunned
Sport Bird’ll wish he accepted the other guns
Squirt you’re a runner up, look at you all huddled up
Ready up a thunder punch, decimate this rubber duck
Coming in to rumble with an onion and some puffing up
Living example of how to speedrun a couple punctured lungs
This is a wild tourney, can you touch me in this state?
I’ve seen more agile birdies on a fucking dinner plate
While I don’t hesitate to leave a foe bleeding grim
There’s a reason I’m the ace in your own region’s gym

Sirfetch’d:
You’ve got no bars when dissing me, quit the bitch fit
Thought your no guard ability meant you didn’t miss hits
I’m the example? Well that just drives me up the wall
If you were a role model there’d be steroids in lunchables
Ooh, bud you stand lesser, not even my ancestor
Bring out all four of ‘em, I’ve seen Hitmonlee throw hands better
500 punches per sec? That’s blowing my mind
Cause last time I checked, your attack’s lower than mine (ay)
I flow in my lines like the flow in my mind when I strike with precision and leave you a sad sight
You flail your punches and fail to touch this, your fighting position’s more fit for a slap fight
It’s a slight stretch to act like Registeel 
Maybe I’ll use your body as my next veggie shield
So you’d better yield, it was a good game though
But it didn’t take a flying move to leave this gym teacher K.O.’ed

Written by Psytube
Mixed by Dani Frias
Cover Art by Rabi
Beat by Marsad Men

Machamp vs Galarian Farfetch'd - Pokémon Rap Battle

LYRICS

Sam:
Sam I am. Going ham on an entity envious of Halloween 
Horror genre's fruit cake's true fate's in what the rules state. How many you following?
You should go back to Christmas shopping if you think bells are good toys and gifts
Checking your candy is quite handy, ‘cause you never know when I bring poison spit
When you're told to pass out to children, you’re leaving them unconscious 
A holiday slayer, odds stacked in my favor. You can call me See-Samhain
Leave the Lanterns' candles alone? Krampus can't learn to not blow
Comedy’s stopped when I throttle your throat, so send Santa your final words with your bones

Krampus:
Gruss… Vom… Krampus
Hopping out of the bag, it’s a battle transformed into madness
Tonight I’ll be having a feast when I steal the pumpkin off of this cabbage patch kid
A legend to the Alps, it’s clear Sam’s trickery couldn’t stand to my status
When a pumpkin’s spilling his guts
The only thing you’re spitting is blood
Give you a new mask as you’re thrown under the bus
Defending pumpkins, but I thought that you’d light a matchstick
So make like the children and drown in my flow
You’re playing a devil’s game when you rap against satanic Santa, I’m a literal G.O.A.T.
Bit off Myers and spit out the sequel ‘cause Michael couldn’t get enough dough 
Even I couldn’t fit your entire plot into a snow globe!
I always land fire with hooks, so Sam better ring up the jingle bells
Before you turn into the second child I’ve thrown into the seventh ring of hell!

Sam:
I don’t even know who you’re trying to entertain, uhhhh, el chupacabra?
You’re spitting so much filler, no wonder this sweet tooth’s against lockjaw
And saying I mired Myers? You couldn’t compare to the Mars Bars that I spit
I’ll choke out a goat and throw him down the smokestack ‘cause I always keep the fire lit
You’re a stocking stuffer of a movie, I leave blocks busted when I move in
Best be handing out treats when I land on the beat, ‘cause your mouth won’t be the only thing drooping!
Now I might not be on the nice list, but it’s pretty apparent
That my letters weren’t intended to capture a child’s parents!
You just gotta say my name to realize that Sam wins against Krampus
It’s sad, man, you couldn’t give scares when you slid down a chimney and left a living room as smashed bits
So I’ll break your chains and change your fate as you inflate my rage
More than any Macy’s Day Parade, try staying safe once this fake’s filleted on my razor blade

Krampus:
Can’t attack back with your wack raps, you bit off me like a lollipop 
So I’ll knapsack this damn track and stuff a Jack O’Lantern in a box
Spying on girls in the dressing room, too bad you couldn’t find a better way to dress
Looking like Sans in a scarecrow outfit, you’d get on the naughty list for your fashion sense
I knapsack your Patch of Sour Kids, you’re next to be slaughtered
Now your comics can join the other children, soaked in water without honor

CREDITS

Freshy Kanal as Krampus
https://soundcloud.com/freshy-kanal
Snakebite126 as Sam
https://soundcloud.com/snakebite126

Written by Rabi, B O R K, and Snakebite126
Mixed by Freshy Kanal
Beat prod. by Ihaski
Art by Blast03
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCcw9SUYw-GI8RkYyYA1djVQ
Thumbnail by Rabi

Han Solo Vs Neil Armstrong| GridLine Rap Battles Season 2

Gridline Studios

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