this made me cry when bear died ;-; so sad but it's an amazing story with a happy ending👌

this is why I dont fuck with cults. cults are god damn terrifying. 

Welcome back to Half-Ass Rap Battles! Today we have a battle of vision-obscuring, similarly-named video game enemies. Left 4 Dead’s Boomer versus Super Mario’s Blooper. Enjoy!

Freshy Kanal as Boomer
EddieFRB as Blooper

Written by Commander Jacob
Beat arranged by Commander Jacob
Mixed by Freshy Kanal
Beat produced by 2Deep

-LYRICS-
Boomer: 
Yo! Back up, squiddy. Your dick-shaped head is gonna be leaking
I’ll splatter a couple colors everywhere; so here’s an Inkling
I'm even wavy when I break in half
I'm out-taking lives. Bloopers getting cut because he just makes me laugh
Boom-bap blasting in your face when im speaking shit
Blow chunks and then you'll just see green if you peep me Creeping in
Bile emanating. Spreading sauce; this calamari is dead
By eliminating this Sharpie, ill kick him out the party again
Rip off your arms, no Sunshine at all
What kinda underwater creature gets killed by a fireball
And you're wack on a track, I hope ya heard what i mean
The shit I vomit covers more than a third of the screen

Blooper:
This ain't a drive-by. Your ass would just stress the kart
Plus I'd be better off rapping against a jar
Waddle up and die in one shot. And best of all?
you look like King Bob-Omb with high cholesterol
Think about it, you're only useful in surprise attacks
But I can see your chonky ass from a mile back
I go *splat* in your fat face, better think fast
Your girl rides me like a surfboard then empties my ink sac
I lightly shove you off? you’re not a threat to me
To do damage? Bring in a horde of enemies
I don't care if it ain't cool
If I wanted a boomer too slow to make shit, I'd go battle Gabe Newell

Thanks for watching
-ComJac

Boomer vs Blooper | Half-Ass Rap battles

The Bigfeet Boys watch Season 1, Episode 19 of Mountain Monsters: Bloodless Howler of Harrison County. Jeff's ghost improv confidence was seriously harmed in the making of this episode.

Episode 19 - Benjamin Harris vs. Benjamin Harrison

Check out the ToR Pilot here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sgBQf7bfkq0
Hope you enjoy!
Please don't use this theme for your content! Thank You!

BASED ON THE ORIGINAL MUSIC BY:
Mike O'Donnell, Junior Campbell, Robert Hartshorne,
Chris Renshaw, Hummie Mann, Erica Procunier

ToR OST - C&Q 3. Meeting Up with Gordon

Recorded September 2024

7/12

unknown (0:11)

Sorry, have you seen my dog here? He always likes to go wandering
From your plot to your profits, i know you've seen lost things
You cut corners with promos, of course a bot cheats
With those prompts you turned Roald Dahl into Dall-E

We both like to lure in unwary victims
Except I’m the one here who’s made a killing
If your whole livelihood is just scaring children
You would just need to say you’re British

Uh, forget your lemonade, get some aid for reparations
You’re not getting paid when you make the yellow papers
No more cheques remain, better brace for impending failure
Because you’ll get erased, the way I’m breaking generators

unknown (0:45)

Jesus Christ, what the fucks wrong inside you
Bitch, you look more ai generated than i do
But if im someone you really wanna imitate
Take my mask, you can use it to hide that shitty face

What’s that? It’s the unknown, you dumb twat
You think I’ll run? Hah! I’ll only ever run scams
I’m in your walls, I’m someone you won’t catch
Unless the building gets testy and you phase through the map

That’s not the only BHVR problem with you
You gaslight women, that’s not fucking cool 
Just a big hallucination from the oompa loompa meth lab
Cause thats prolly where we cooked up that stupid goop grenade crap

unknown (1:19)

You lacked the awareness to quit ever since conception
Typically, you stand in front of the mirror when reflecting
Though, you’ll get to feel a real chocolate experience,
When I treat you to the taste of the sweet release of death

unknown (1:30)

Well, you’re not killing me, but you still suck
Looking at your code, we both have gibberish scripts, huh?
I’m uncommon. You’re ugly. I’m Wonka. You’re wonky.
Your found footage shows you won’t ever get a 4K

unknown (1:42)

Your ineptitude in putting in effort isn’t an excuse
Do not improv. Learn to improve.
Witnesses disappear as we forget your story
For no one remembers a dead meme: Memento Mori

unknown (1:53)

Get the fuck off the floor, you toddler, want a jellybean?
The BFG’s fucked up son isn’t scaring me
Those yellow teeth, however, YEESH… dja need a gobstopper?
‘Cept you’ve already been wiped clean when the Fog gotcha
Fokkin periick


sigh. relevant rap battles of current events. also sorry for my terrible attempt at a scottish accent. to do the demo i watched like two videos of the unknown girl speaking and then let the ghosts possess me 

don’t really like this one. i fw like, the first 8 bars and beat and then the rest was sort of just slog that i wrote to release this stupid ass matchup from my shoulders. I wrote those first 8 bars during the peak of the wonka thing and my shortlived DBD phase, and then i sorta just ran out of steam. then one random september weekend i decided to finish it alongside jesus vs socrates. like, this walked so jesus could run. quote that, atheists.

like, if i could change anything about this, itd just be like. idk literally just making it better. the structure makes it sound like it ends too short, and each finisher actually just doesn’t make sense. this battle should literally be like, cut off at the end of the first verses and be a drb short or something.

The Unknown VS The Unknown - 12 Bars of Dissmas #7

Recorded December 2024

11/12

prod by Big Bro Collective


pac

Ay, wake up! This a battle so don’t act like it’s naptime
Bro, you’re less Rayman, and more of a manchild
Baby has grown tired, lay down and rest up
Play with your mobile: Rayman Siesta

Dish out a taste of pain if this glutton runs his mouth again
You know you’re getting served, bro I’m coming from the cabinet
You’re coming from France, but with that accent you’ve got
And the hands in the air, you giving up or hailing a ‘cah?’

Cause that floating body sorta reminds me of the ghosts I’m chomping
So I oughta go and drop him, like Ubisoft did
You’re a relic of time, I’m ageless with fans
“Rayman Legends” is right, you’ll stay in the past

ray

You a pie, cheese wheel, fortune cookie or what? 
I’m really sad if you aren’t, because I’m hungry as FUCK
But I heard that you’re serving me? You’re a fatass pizza
And I’m sick of you already, that’s Pacman Fever bitch

Drop the power pellets, steroids are wack
They turn ghosts blue, but they’ll do worse to your nads
And make your girl so sad, yo she prefers what I have
You ain’t got the balls like I do, check the urinal ad

Ay Miss Pacman won’t miss Pacman, you cuck
I pack a punch, pack it up before she yells “PAC, GET UP!”
So I don’t care what the FUCK you gon say,
You already lost, bro. You’re stuck in a maze

pac

Yo, the moment you got birthed, you looked up your mom’s skirt
I’d say keep it in your pants, but you should get some on first
And they say he’s supposed to save the land? Pause
You ain’t a stand up guy with no legs to stand on

Cause he mimics the way his friends all behave daily
Like your namesake, it’s obvious Ray tracing
You bit off the Rabbids, but you’re the one with rabies
Explains the crazed gibberish whenever you say things

rat

Oh you think you’re fucking hilarious with that stealing shit
Took Fozzie’s waka waka, now you’re the comedian
Bro, the fact is that you’re part of the issue
You’re so unfunny, Adam Sandler wanted to kill you

Yo, and what’s more wack than that is how you are at home
You beat your kids, Junior and Baby, like it’s Smash Bros
Miss Pac goes “I wish my husband dies like Namco”
Moral code’s so bad, only thing you can’t beat is bad code


silly little battle and second of the anti slump battles. i also wrote this one in like an afternoon and never looked back, which felt so good just to like, shit out all my creative energy. 

i was watching a lot of frak battles at the time and i really loved how he did angles, and just the whole way where he’d make some shit up for laughs and i wanted to imitate that same energy for rayman. like, sorry pac fans but i was hella biased to keep him as the straight man to highlight rayman lol. originally this battle was supposed to have writing inspired by exociety but erm….. teehee! i forewent all that and rolled with my own shit which did well for my mental.

i think i struggled finding an identity for this battle during the first few parts, and found the sauce in the middle of raymans 1st. i had been attached to a couple of bum ideas in their 1st’s but once i broke out of that like, bar machine mindset and did my own thing with actually setting up an angle with a punch w/o worrying abt material and references, it felt so good and i think that sorta mindset can really help make my writing more cohesive and consistent if i were to ever return to making rap battles seriously.

Pacman VS Rayman - 12 Bars of Dissmas #11

Original by Danii
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NW7Tc6YW-fg&t=98s&ab_channel=Danii 

Disgraced by 
Me as Wallace, Stewie, and Peter
McFawful as Brian
Ryu as Gromit


Wallace & Gromit vs Stewie & Brian Griffin (One Take Cover)

It's always alright to cry...

Video can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=odIbw2CQ4pY

Download any of the older stories here: http://www.mediafire.com/folder/4txql3uxzvy4c/Creepy_Pasta

It's Okay to Cry by MeibukanMaster

Do you sometimes feel like you're being followed?

Video can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpyBS5Zs3UM

Followers by Joshinator551

Video can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1UBaomMckmc

Read along! The story can be found here: http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Psychosis

Psychosis (Monday) by Matt Dymerski (2/5)

Ever wondered why you sometimes walk into a room and forget why you came in?

Video can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-78ZIaBQFvw

Read along! The story can be found here: http://www.reddit.com/r/shortscarystories/comments/1inv0n/next_time_youll_know_better/

Next Time You'll Know Better by IPostAtMidnight

In B4 the Do You Know De Wai memes! Do you think the scariest monster is humanity?

Video can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejltWjjObR0

Read along! The story can be found here: http://creepypasta.wikia.com/wiki/Why_I_Became_an_Atheist

Creepypasta Storytime (Disc 12)

Why I Became an Atheist by RaydiantWon

(Moved to Spreaker! Stories will still pop up on here though! Thanks for listening and sweet dreams!)

The OFFICIAL Mr. Creepy Pasta's Creepypasta Storytime!

Support the Podcast here: https://ko-fi.com/mrcreepypasta

Hey there kids! It's me, Mr. Creepy Pasta! And I think I might have found a new way to bring Creepypasta stories from the deep dark stones of the crypt and right to the ear balls in your head. If you're as excited as I am to hear a good story of terror and fear as I am then give me a subscription, hide under your blanket, and prepare yourself for some sweet dreams. 

Creepypasta Storytime is a collection of some of the most horrifying (and occasionally funny) stories, or Creepypastas, that the internet has to offer and narrated to you by the Blue Man himself. The podcast is taken directly from the YouTube Channel of the same name and is always open to suggestions for new stories and submissions from you. mrcreepypasta@gmail.com

Why I Became an Atheist by RaydiantWon

Mr. Creepy Pasta's Storytime

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