moving on from Dan

In August 2019, a close friend of mine passed away from an overdose. This song is a portrait of the grief I and those close to her experienced in the aftermath. Rest in Peace Antonia, it would've been your 22nd tomorrow (4/23). We miss you, and we won't forget you and your strength in the face of adversity.

Updated October 2021

Lyrics

She was alive, 
She was loved, she was alive. 
It's not right, she was alive
Help me dye my hair, cause she was alive
She was alive, alive

Hold on my friend you weren't supposed to leave yet
Cause you had so much more to live for
And so much to give, an absence of forgiveness
From those of us that you had adored
And how could I expect to outlive you
Even if you didn't make it to twenty-two
What the hell are we supposed to do
(What the hell am I supposed to do / You did whatever you wanted to)

Of all my old sins that you forgave
You helped me believe I was worthy of being saved
But then I paved a distance from your new path
Creating space and time to lose track

The wicked traps placed, illness you succumb
I wished to document how far we had come
Wasted saturday night. in the morning you're gone
Now I'm required to sing this song

(Theres not enough narcan left inside. I will pay for leaving you behind)

I should've found you in the night
I had no idea where you were when you lost your life
These words should not exist
You are dearly missed
Antonia
You are dearly missed

The one who forgave my transgressions
Who rebuked me from deep within
(There's not enough Narcan left inside)
Who gave me a chance to grow has departed
(I will pay for leaving you behind)
The casual smirk and deceptive grin
The unrequited assurance
(Beautiful perfect scum of your design)
That began the change of of everything I know
(A family of idiots must survive)
Restarted

She was alive
She was loved, she was alive
I'm not fine. She was alive
You should reconcile cause she was alive
She was alive, alive

So what will I do with this pain of mine
Confusion overwhelming inside
I could've sworn all my friends were forbidden from dying
Forbidden
Forbidden

Seeing your name on street signs fills me with anguish
Speaking your fate aloud feels like hearing a lie
(This cant be true, this can't be true)
This is impossible, improbable in our timeline

Some nights after you died
I reached over ninety-thousand miles in my car
And I didn't even notice
I couldn't cause I was too busy 
driving slowly around the suburbs that we both grew up in
And screaming in disbelief

(Reveal those positive angel minutes)
Did all that make-up hide your pain inside
(And we'll revel in those positive angel minutes to the end)
Shelter us all from the burden you resolved to bear alone
(Reveal those positive angel minutes)
Did all that make-up hide your pain inside
(And we'll revel in those positive angel minutes to the end)
We all admired what was on the surface, concealer sealing away the unknown

The one who forgave my transgressions
Who rebuked me from deep within
(There's not enough Narcan left inside)
Who gave me a chance to grow has departed
(I will pay for leaving you behind)
The casual smirk and deceptive grin
The unrequited assurance
(Beautiful perfect scum of your design)
That began the change of of everything I know
(A family of idiots must survive)
Has restarted
Cause she was alive

Sorry I Passed Out And Just Woke Up, I Need My Sleeps (She Was Alive)

Open up
And get carried away
Drifting off
I hear a strange parade
And it's you calling my name
Skipping now
I think I'm over it all
Then you're back
Planning your next attack
You know, I think about this whole thing most days

Why'd you leave it at that?
Robot husky and all
Stupid me
I fell for your call
And I cried I realised this was the end

I know I'm wrong
This can't go on like this
I know I'm wrong
I know I'm wrong
I know I'm wrong - I know I'm wrong
I know I'm wrong, know I'm wrong
No, this can't go on
I know I'm wrong
Know I'm wrong

Oh no...
Dreampool why?
Why did things go this way?
Dreampool why?
Why did you not just say where I went wrong?
I think about this just about every day
Dreampool why?
Why you gotta be like this?
Dreampool why?
Why'd you have to fuck my brain?
Dreampool why?
Why'd you have to go away?
Dreampool why?
Dreampool why?

Dreampool why?
Why did things go this way?
Dreampool why?
Why did you not just say where I went wrong?
I think about this just about every day
Dreampool why?
Why you gotta be like this?
Dreampool why?
Why'd you have to fuck my brain?
Dreampool why?
Why'd you have to go away?
Dreampool why?
Dreampool why?

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahaha......

I Know I'm Wrong

heard you been talking about me again
words break bones know you tore me too shreds
hurt when I’m alone I just wanted a friend
I always hurt when I’m alone know i just wanted too spend
a fuckin second with you
without just playin pretend
a fuckin second with you where I’m not stuck in my head

again I fall into this hole
I hate this shit but it’s all that I know

heard you been talking about me again
words break bones know you tore me too shreds
hurt when I’m alone I just wanted a friend
I always hurt when I’m alone know i just wanted too spend
another day with you, I don’t care what it takes
know I would fuck up my life throw it all away

just if I could see you today
I still know it wouldn’t change a thing
while you’re walking all over me
bitch I know you won’t get over me
I been holding on for life
I been holding onto lies
I don’t think I’m gonna make it out this time

cigarettes are cheaper when you’re blacked out drunk
passed out on the floor, in youre bed I’m waking up
like what the fuck?
seems like this happens all the time
but it’s not my fault no it’s not mine
(It’s not mine, swear you did me wrong all the time, no it was never mine, you were never mine)

heard you been talking about me again
words break bones know you tore me too shreds
hurt when I’m alone I just wanted a friend
I always hurt when I’m alone know i just wanted too spend
heard you been talking about me again
words break bones know you tore me too shreds
hurt when I’m alone I just wanted a friend
I always hurt when I’m alone know i just wanted too spend another second with you

spotify link<3

narcissist (yungspoiler)

"This reality is but a waking dream and it's about staying in the moment of love n appreciation and riding the wave into the Golden Age of Enlightenment...'Til Sky Rains Fireflies. ((하늘에 반딧불이 비가 올 때까지))"  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lyrics:
Welcome to my dreams
Where everything is as it seems
We can together face the brighter world

‘Til sky rains fireflies that shines like diamonds

Trust.. Is the name of the game
Watch.. Thousands of angels sing
Swim.. in the pool of rainbows with me

‘Til sky rains fireflies that shines like diamonds
‘Til sky rains fireflies that shines like diamonds


Remembering all the fairytales
My mother told
Lets paint the sky
Purple and gold

‘Til sky rains fireflies that shines like diamonds

Because tonight is the night
If the world would end
We will be together
Be in each others embrace
This feeling in our paradise
That can never be replaced

‘Til sky rains fireflies that shines like diamond
‘Til sky rains fireflies that shines like diamond
‘Til sky rains fireflies that shines like diamond
‘Til sky rains fireflies that shines like diamond

Welcome to my dreams
Where everything is as it seems


©starbr33d, myALIEN ent.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Music Production by myALIENent 

more info:
www.starbr33d.com
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Till Sky Rains Fireflies - (하늘에 반딧불이 비가 올 때까지)

burn It To The Ground

Open Season [Can You Hear Me?]

Open Season [Can You Hear Me?] -  Hooligans!

i let go of what made me whole
and dug myself a deeper hole
i fucking hate being alone
but it's all i've ever known
there's nobody left to care
so why the fuck am i still scared?
i don't think there's any coming back from this

i can't find any bliss

can't take living in this skin
did my life ever really begin?
sink into my cold sheets
don't wanna wake up this week

i'd ask you to stay
but you're too far away
i don't know if i can take another day
i wanna find a way
to not be so afraid
maybe then i could fix this mess i've made

i'm the worst of lovers
we'll never find each other
i'm a jerk, i'll suffer
and you'll just find another

Bliss

Stream on all Platforms: 
https://solo.to/stellar

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https://www.instagram.com/rnbstellar/
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Lyrics
[Intro]
I’ll tell you once, just walk away
Or I will be will your next mistake 

[Verse 1]
I never tell the truth
I really wonder why 
I wonder why I got you 
Falling for all of my lies

[Verse 2]
If you get to close
I’ll tell you what you’ll find
I’ll introduce ya to the
Demons inside my mind

[Pre-Chorus]
Yeahahahaha
I’m really hard to love
Yeahahahaha
But you ain't giving up
Yeahahahaha
I’m really hard to love
Yeahahahaha
But you don’t give a fuck

[Chorus]
I’ll tell you once, just walk away
Or I will be will your next mistake 
Cuz once you give and then I take
There ain’t no goin’ back
I’ll tell you once, just walk away
Or I will be will your next mistake
I’ll tell you once, just walk away

[Post-Chorus]
Just walk away from me tonight, ayeah

[Verse 3]
When we look at the stars
You say that ours align
If you know everything, then why
Aren’t you reading the signs?

[Verse 3]
If you think we will last
Then you are you fucking blind
When I get bored of ya then I 
Will just leave you behind

[Pre-Chorus]
Yeahahahaha
I’m really hard to love
Yeahahahaha
But you ain't giving up
Yeahahahaha
I’m really hard to love
Yeahahahaha
But you don’t give a fuck

[Chorus]
I’ll tell you once, just walk away
Or I will be will your next mistake 
Cuz once you give and then I take
There ain’t no goin’ back
I’ll tell you once, just walk away
Or I will be will your next mistake
I’ll tell you once, just walk away

[Post-Chorus]
Just walk away from me tonight, ayeah
Just walk away before I bite, yeah

Mistake

Ugly Sound (Mandinga Records) - V/A You didn't Think we could take it, Tribute To Subsonics V2  - I Can't Get Out
UNDER 45 (Destructure Records) - Cancelled - Put Da Boot
Snapped Ankles (The Leaf Label) - Forest Your Problem - The Evidence
Tim Cohen (Bobo Integral) - You are still Here - Almost Enemies
The Underground Youth (fuzz club records) - The Falling - Vergiss Mich Nicht
Grande Royale (The Sign Rcds) - Carry On - Troublemaker
Greg Prevost (Mean Disposition) - Songs For These Times - Splash 1
Disturbios (Mandinga Records) - V/A You didn't Think we could take it, Tribute To Subsonics V2  - See Thru Honda
Kid Congo Powers (Mandinga Records) - V/A You didn't Think we could take it, Tribute To Subsonics V2  - I Made You A Clown
Winds (Natural, 2021) - Look at the sky - Time we take
The Reed Conservation Society (Autoproduction, 2021) - EP3 - Dream of Agape (Part1 & Part2)
Rover (Cinq 7 / Wagram) - Eiskeller - Venise Hat
Becca Mancari (Captured Track) - Juniata - first time
The Subsonic (Get Hip) - Follow me Down - Frankenstein
Black Mekon  (Mandinga Records)- V/A You didn't Think we could take it, Tribute To Subsonics V2  - Do you think i'm a junkie

#738

Ambedo Auras

Knives Out

Disco Fever

Zavaj - Finally

Hey everybody,i have a new House Mix with actually tracks with all the bangers, earworms and hits that our beloved genre has released.
Just listen and enjoy it...

Tracklist
01 - 00:00 - KERY FAY, René de la Moné, BlackBonez - Thinking About You
02 - 03:12 - Andrew Spencer - Take Me Out
03 - 05:56 - Alle Farben & HUGEL - Castle (feat. FAST BOY)
04 - 08:42 - Tiësto & Ava Max - The Motto (Robin Schulz Remix)
05 - 12:08 - ACRAZE feat. Cherish - Do It To It
06 - 14:50 - Ferreck Dawn & Jem Cooke - Back Tomorrow (Guz Extended Remix)
07 - 19:02 - Sigala - Melody
08 - 22:27 - FR3SH TrX, Sven Hessel, Sven Hessel, Sven Hessel - Still Dream About U
09 - 26:08 - Freejak - Sandstorm
10 - 29:02 - DBL, BACKFLASH - Forever Young
11 - 32:19 - Svniivan, Morpheus - Bitter Sweet Symphony
12 - 35:24 - Jax Jones feat. MNEK - Where Did You Go?
13 - 39:27 - Mark Coles, Hoxtones, Khanda - Sunshine
14 - 43:39 - Dave Mak & Shemenzo feat Phany,Chempy - Llorando Se Fue (Lambada)
15 - 47:05 - Vize - Dancing Alone
16 - 50:19 - Klaas - Atlantis
17 - 53:42 - Alex Megane - Butterfly Feeling
18 - 56:46 - Amfree & Ampris, Leona - Believe
19 - 59:27 - Mazza, Klaas - I Feel Love (Klaas Extended Remix)

House Mixe 222

HouseMix 2022 - Vol.02

Endless Engorgement

*Inspired by System of a Down -Lost in Hollywood*

Lyrics:

The bright light of the spotlights
The Adrenaline in the blood
Full stadium is waiting rumbling
A noise with strength of flood

Your face is on the magazines
The shining of the fame
You will be up your neck stuck in this
You'll never be the same

Industrial 
Rape
Of the
Soul

You think that you achieved your dreams
That money mends it all
But when the light is going out
You wish you didn't have a soul 

And you won't live these sins

Hollywood is calling you
Red carpets under feet
And when the after-party comes
And you don't find the clothes of yours
You know that has been done

the deed


Industrial 
Rape
Of the
Soul

A coin here, a coin there 
Ten dollars for a pic
Hollywood was calling you
But is that what you 
Really 
need?

The lyrics are written by a human being, everything else is on AI 🙂

Grace in Exile - scenario

are we human? I can't tell

REDRAW "exothermic" 2025

exothermic

as the world falls apart - EP coming soon

TODDI - LP-6 - coming early next year

<3

I Know I'm Wrong

My Friend Ice

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