the text on this song represents exactly my last relationship :/

this is amazing, i could really hear your emotions poured in this song, thanks for sharing this bro

beautiful song, reminds me there's still music in this world we live in

すし　boys

gathering leaves
acloop
on my bed, alone
5 bridges
you are still here

gathering leaves (5 songs)

For my friend Nick. For helping me up when all I knew was down.  Y'know if it weren't for you believing in me I probably wouldn't be  here right now, I probably wouldn't be online nowadays and I probably wouldn't have made it this far. 

Thanks for everything, man. I wish you all the success in your future endeavours and I hope you continue doing what you're doing for many years to come <3 Hope you enjoy the song!

Sincerely, 
NΣΣT


Download

Babylonian

nature's nostalgia, forest phase, many memories...not sure what to call it

that year with you

I miss you. It probably won't make a difference how you feel about me, but I just thought you should know. It's been a rough week and some too, thinking about it gives me a headache. An amalgamation of mixed emotions, more negative, some positive. But maybe it's a good thing that you're gone... actually no, I can't think of anything good about it at all. I know you didn't intend for things to be this way either, it's not like we were together or anything. It's just like you said, we were just a couple floating bubbles that just so happened to come together to form a bigger one. I think we both knew it would pop eventually, I just never thought it would happen so soon.

If only I hadn't told you how I felt. If only I wasn't so insecure. If only I didn't open up so much.

I'm far from being okay, but I'm stable otherwise. It's hard to operate with you always finding a way to interrupt my thoughts. I really wasn't lying when I said I couldn't forget you even if I tried. Although, now that I think about it I haven't been trying that hard. Part of me still wants to keep you around for some reason. It doesn't help that I still have your photos saved on my iPod, I should probably delete those. I just can't find it in myself to act like you were just some memory... just another something that happened at some point in my life. There's still so much I want to experience together with you...but you don't want that do you.

If only I were stronger. If only I hadn't given up. If only you felt the same way.

I still don't understand what you meant that day. I don't think I ever will. Maybe I respect you too much to question it or maybe I'm too scared to face the reality of it all. Then again, I'm a dreamer so it's hard for me to accept reality. I don't even know what purpose this letter serves, maybe I just want you back in my life. Maybe I just want to hear your voice and hear you talk about your day and tell me how you've been doing, watch you draw, see you smile and tell you stories to help you fall asleep. Maybe I can't move on from you because I'm not supposed to. 

Maybe I'm just in love with you.

If only we had never met.


If Only...

NΣΣT - Elsewhere
https://neet.bandcamp.com/album/elsewhere

Have you been here before?
Where do we go from here?
I'm new to this town
I'm feeling so lost and found, 
lost and found, 
lost and found.

Elsewhere

Teach me how to love you. Teach me how to love you the way you want to be loved. Because all this time I've been loving you the only way I know how. I don't know any other way, I haven't exactly acquired the proper skill set to love so, how else am I supposed to know? How else am I supposed to know how to be with someone correctly if before you, I was alone. Alone for what seemed like eternity when suddenly, like a random gust of wind, you appeared in my life. Little did I know, it would pick up speed and spiral into a tornado of emotions I never knew existed. Little did I know, the challenges and responsibilities that lay ahead. Little did I know, of what love could possibly be until you appeared in my life. 

It seems like I've made so many mistakes. It's almost as if you learn to love someone through trial and error. Okay, you don't like it when I ask dumb questions or when I make that silly face. Okay, it felt like you liked it when I held your hand in the car but it turned out you found it annoying. I'm still not sure if you're okay with the way I show affection. I'm still not sure if you're okay with me being needy or if you want space. I developed quite a few insecurities and I can't help but blame myself for either not taking in your information fast enough, or simply being oblivious. I'll be honest, it hurts not knowing completely what I should be doing to make you happy. But I want to. I so badly want to know.

I know you've been hurt many times in the past. So many times it disgusts me people like that even exist. If I was big and strong I'd beat them all up, but we both know I can't do that physically. I know theres nothing I can do to change what happened and I know theres no way to vacuum all the demons surrounding you. I know you're who you are because of everything you've been through. Once upon a time you were an innocent girl ready to give her heart to someone, someone...someone. But now things are different, you're so much stronger than you were before. It makes me happy knowing that you've given me a chance. It makes me nervous because I could mess things up at any moment. You really deserve better than anyone you've ever had before. With what little I have I'm trying the best I possibly can my love. I really am.

This song might be a huge risk, but I'm willing to take that leap of faith. After I messaged you, I felt the urge to play piano so I went to the piano, hit record, and played what was in my heart and went wherever my fingers wanted to. I may be horrible at how to words and speak, but put me on a piano and I can tell you absolutely everything I'm feeling. It's only a matter of if you understand what I'm saying and if you're okay with it. If you're okay with us.

I'm ready to learn. 

Please be patient with me. 

Teach me how to love you

I'm not giving up on you

How do you fall out of love with someone? I've been constantly asking myself this question over the past week and I've come to the conclusion that it's near impossible. At least, for me. Sure, you can move on, find someone else, but that's an entirely new story y'know? You can lie to yourself all you want, but there will always be that special place where the people you previously loved reside. It's really sad now that I think about it, relationships are oversaturated with this idea of security and happiness. You emotionally invest so much into someone and convince yourself that your feelings are mutual...only to find out they're not. It's unfortunate, I don't think anyone wants to feel like they were just another thing that happened once. Like a tick off the tally or some game that was sweet at first but got boring after a while. 

But I wouldn't consider past relationships a waste of time. That would mean there was no purpose. You'll find that each time you open your heart to someone, you reveal a form of love you never knew you had. You grow, your perspective widens and you discover what you're capable of. Love is fascinating. Time passes by way too quick when you're in love, it's those little moments when it almost feels like time stops where you get the chance to breathe it all in. But before you know it, it's all over and you're left with a memory. Like waking up from a dream you wonder what in the world just happened. 

I'd be lying if I said I didn't want the dream to last forever.

This song illustrates the feeling I had after the break up. That... hopeful kinda feeling? A subtle undertone of loneliness with distractions left and right. Naive, tunnel visioned and unable to accept the reality of it all. Realizing how dependant I was towards someone who generated my happiness. Angry, impatient and confused. Wishing that it wasn't over and wondering at which point in time did I go wrong. If there was anything I could've done to turn things around. If there was something I did to make her...fall out of love with me.

It's at that point where it all becomes lost time and there's really nothing you can say or do to get her back. 

...is there?

---

In other news, I had mid day shifts this entire week and all I could think about was finishing this song for you, I really hope you enjoy it. I honestly didn't think I'd have time to make music, but I guess due to the restriction of only having a day off to be creative, it made things run a lot smoother? Aside from that, I caught a cold last Friday and I feel horrible lol. Every time I cough it feels like my brian is going to explode out of my ears! Eh, my immune system is weak af so it's only natural haha. Anyways, I'm off to sleep for an entire day. Thanks for being here, see you when I see you. 

Lost Time

FREE DOWNLOAD: https://www.toneden.io/koyuki-cafe/post/jpom-sometimes

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, I LOVE YOU ALL. The last couple of months have been unreal and I hope it continues to stay that way. On March 22nd, we will be releasing our first compilation. There will be a livestream party in celebration so if you want to play in it, send me a message and I'll see what I can do.

Follow JPom:
@jessepom
https://twitter.com/JessePomMusic

Follow Koyuki Cafe:
@koyuki-cafe
https://twitter.com/wearekoyukicafe

FREE DOWNLOAD

JPom - Sometimes

Art is by Rony Hotin: www.facebook.com/Art.of.RonyHOTIN/

Cuckoo

FREE DOWNLOAD: https://www.toneden.io/koyuki-cafe/post/jpom-hyperspace

Follow JPom:
@jessepom
twitter.com/JessePomMusic

Follow Koyuki Cafe:
@koyuki-cafe
twitter.com/wearekoyukicafe

JPom - Hyperspace

no title 1

Im Stuck In A Mmorpg World

Live Performance https://youtu.be/giZiMKgThwM

Here's a piano piece that I put my everything into. I just had to pay tribute to Kingdom Hearts, one of my favorite series of all time. In this piece, I combine Dearly Beloved, Simple And Clean, Passion (Sanctuary) and Face My Fears. Kingdom Hearts 3 is out already so why don't we celebrate...with tears 😭

Dearly Beloved by Yoko Shimomura 
Simple And Clean by Utada Hikaru 
Passion (Sanctuary) by Utada Hikaru 
Face My Fears by Utada Hikaru and Skrillex

Teach me how to love you

NΣΣT

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