This is it. The time is now.
All the planning, all of the training, all of the sacrifices you've made have all been for this. Hours writing bars, mixing stems and vocals, animating. And now…

Everyone wants to take it from you.

Will you let them? Will your legacy be snatched by someone else, or will you be the main character in this story?
It's up to you.

But make no mistakes -- you aren't the hero.
But are you the sidekick? An antihero? The villain? The talking sword? The white whale? The Bebop? Someone else? That's up to you.

Anything But the Hero Challenge Criteria:
3 minute maximum length

Vocalist Challenge(s):
must rap from a fandom perspective that is NOT the hero
must use multis

Producer Challenge(s):
must use vocalist sfx or clip built into the beat
must sample the source material

Artwork Challenge:
Fan Art!

VPC7 Round One - Anything But the Hero

Fandom: Aqua Teen Hunger Force
Character: Dr. Weird

Live from my lab at the South Jersey Shore
My ass ate my hand -- it hungers for more
My creations chafe being called nerdcore
So I'll gobble up your scene until you're all done for!
Grey hair spiked with the fishbowl helmet
Y'all heard the name Walter Melon
King of the castle
Fist my asshole
Splice DNA
And cause a scandal
Purple gown cut with the nips displayed
My dick give more than Christmas Day
Gave your momma that swordplay
Got more fish than Hemingway
On holiday in Uruguay
Hold the country hostage
death ray on some bond shit
Leather servant bondage like

Ooh, do the Dr. Weird, do the Dr. Weird baby 
Ooh let's get fuckin weird let's get fuckin weird baby
Ooh do the Dr. Weird, do the Dr. Weird baby
Ooh you'll be fuckin weird you'll be fuckin weird ooh

Truth teller like no cap
Disrespect like no DAP
Made a bot that hates rap
Ben Shapiro, no WAP
His wife dry like Atacama
Doc got her wetter than a hot sauna
Capture all the local fauna
For the next monster to drop on ya
It's part shrimp, part dog, part duck
Got lightning breath, you're thunderstruck
Doc says you're outta luck
Cause you fucked around with ShrimpDogDuck!
This thing is almost ten foot long
Like a feral hog
Diet full of nitrogen
letting out these Primal Winds

Your track? Never heard of it
Bars? not a word of it
Cleverness? Not detected
My dick? Not erected!
Dope shades, protect me from these hater rays
You bouta need some Gatorade
You lookin like a mirror glaze
On entremet
I cut that cake now you're awake
Got new meds for you to take
Swallow now, sip of water
Have a nice dream of rappin harder
I'mma go to your house and clap ya mama
She slobber harder than a St. Bernard
Your dad ain't bad, imma ring the post
Then I get gone like a space ghost

VPC 7 Round 1

YNG SLLVN [LL YZZ, YNGSLLVN] - La Danse Palourdes

Fandom: Lord of the Rings 
Character: Bill the Pony

BILL THE PONY
BILL THE PONY

I started from the bottom then one day four hobbits came
They said let's get poppin' and we went to weather top n hey
I've got a brave heart like William Wallace, honest
But when those wraiths got on us I ran like they were coppers

But then I drank from the well in rivendell
now I'm unbeatable strap on your seat-a-belts
cos i got those buffs like gandalf right after he fell
and I'm oh so furry just like beast and belle

you'll only ever be half of me
they named the prancing pony after me
(that's not canon) mmmm shut up!
I'm the valiant stallion you're as soft as butter

I'm like if rainbow dash n lil sebastian
had a passion for smashin' call me lil lil sebastian
just imagine! i'm magic
I'm such a Star they be callin me Patrick

BILL THE PONY
BILL THE PONY
BILLNBILLNBILLN
YOU FINNA KNOW ME

Let me introduce you to my fellowship it's hella sick
We'll be BFFs forever man we'll never split
Gandalf, Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, damn!
Boromir, Frodo, Merry, Pippin, Sam!

Fording rivers, crossing plains, climbin mountains day on day
Did you think I'm quittin on this mission? Neigh!
We're at the lake, chillin' by the gate
can't get inside , gandalf's in a rage

wha wha wha what's Elvish for friend?
"Mellon" and this is how it ends?
my protestations falling on to hollow ears
man ya'll a bunch of Boromirs!

enjoy your bloody trip to mordor orcs are 
round every corner sorta hope you fall in water
n get slaughtered n quartered cos it gotcha
I'm off ya'll enjoy "THE WATCHER!"


my teas gone cold I'm wonderin why
I got out of bed at all
the morning rain clouds up my window
but I can't see at all
and even if I could it would all be grey
put your picture on my wall
it reminds me that it's not so bad
it's not so bad...

Dear mister horses aren't allowed inside the mines
I ate your lembas bread good luck i'm sure you'll be just fine
It's been six months and still no word, I don't deserve it
I was your mane man now you carry the pots and pans you pervert

Frodo don't know you like I know you Sam, no one does!
They don't know what it was like as Shire lower class
Hey Sam I just blazed ya westfarthing! Dare me to ride?
You know that song by Bombadill where nothing happens
and everyones confused, that's kinda how this is
you could've pulled me off the floor
anyway I gotta stop now cos I'm a little horse.

Spandex Moose [Mike Bananas, Frank Danger] - Bill The Pony

Fandom: Kiki's Delivery Service
Character for Round 1: Jiji the cat

Clear the air
I’m coming with long tail
Can’t you see my contrail
Through the violet sky
I’m here I’m there
I’m faster than a comet
Call me and I’m on it
If it’s rain or shine
And the honeys are all buzzin
And they phone me by the dozen
Sayin come around to my place soon
Cuz I’m the best that you can get an’
If you’re into heavy pettin
You can bet that I’ll be gettin on my broom, on my broom

Call Jiji’s delivery service 
Call Jiji’s delivery service 
Jiji’s delivery service 
I'm comin to you

Reach out
I got the right equipment
For bringing you a shipment
Like a magic spell
I'm free now
I’m flying like a tomcat
And you know I’m pouncing on that
You never had it this well
Cuz I’m rakin in the riches
And I’m catchin all the witches
Gonna make the best of all nine lives
And you know that I’m a giver
You just call and I’ll deliver
Honey look up in the sky you’ll wonder how time flies

Call Jiji’s delivery service (comin to you)
Call Jiji’s delivery service (ya know what we do)
Call Jiji’s delivery service (comin to you)
I’m comin to you

You don’t need any other
You can take me home to mother
And she’ll say that I’m a real sweet pet
So say goodbye to those guys
Straighter than the crow flies
Ready and I’m set, and you ain’t seen nothing yet

Call Jiji’s delivery service (comin to you)
Jiji’s delivery service (ya know what we do)
Call Jiji’s delivery service (comin to you)
Jiji’s delivery service (Same-day air)
Jiji’s delivery service (I’ll be right there)
Jiji’s delivery service (Yeah I’ll be right there)
Jiji’s delivery service
I’m comin to you

Sleater-Kitty [MC117, Klopfenpop] - Jiji's Delivery Service

Fandom: We Live
Character: One of the twelve supremes

You’ve seen that they’re weak. 
You’ve seen that they’re flawed . 
I’ve seen you asleep. 
They still kill for a god 
Ive seen you ignore all the Hate that they speak
like where is the love
i know that i only have faith in their greed 
they thirsty for blood 
so what is a life worth when stealing is light work and 
they live in the gutters and steer without rudders so really why earth 
why shouldn’t they die first 
reject the experience
why protect the invariance
the longer we wait the more likely that they might infect the experiment

I say we go ahead an let em wipe em selves out
they been shitting in the pool i wanna bail out
tryna buy a little time when the sale out
i say we leave em on their island and we sail out
cuz they should be terrified nothing but parasites left on a corpse that’s decaying
stew in the pot or leave them to rot it’s morbid but maybe the course we should take is abstaining
won’t see me cry when it’s raining
so let’s let them struggle but stay in their bubble cuz really tho i find the fight entertaining 
i know we started with the best intent
and creating a life is a blessed event but cut the tumor out or infection spreads
lost they don’t know what the message is

We live 
We die

Shawn Solo & Lex Lingo [Lex Lingo, Shawn Solo] - We Live, We Die

Fandom - Avatar The Last Airbender
Character - The Cabbage Merchant

These other venders so useless 
I’m here producing produceses
My acumen so conducive
To victory so conclusive I

Got leafy green and I’m coming for your coins
Believe me green beans got nothing on the joy
You know what I mean I draw a crowd it’s time to join
Unless of course my cart winds up gettin destroyed

Green and now red, Napa, and savory
My new line is so fine and it’s on display to see
I think I finally escaped these kids’ chicanery 
It’s just these setbacks that keep on restraining me

Water earth air and fire man I got em all
I assure you it’s fire even if you eat it raw
I got the produce you need for cut coleslaw
I just hope that my stall don’t get forestalled

My cabbage rolls like babish 
I keep screaming these classless 
bastards keep crashing my passage. 
It’s tragic my cabbages!


I am the Cabbage king
This is my coronation
Let stand and sing
Welcome to cabbage nation
Welcome to cabbage nation
Welcome to cabbage nation
Welcome to cabbage nation 
Put your heads up


Now here I go again
I’m on a cabbage roll again
There’s no defense your sold I sell
So well you know it’s time to spend

All your cash on the cabbage that I vends
Got my stock locked I’m collecting dividends
Proto-agriculture come correct it never ends
Supply infrastructure I keep ya’ll forever fed

Night after night I’m rebuilding wagons
Customs officers man they’re never understanding
So again I’m sawing and again I’m sanding
I know I’ll stick the landing business always expanding

Don’t count the cabbage man out
I’ll keep coming back there’s no doubt
My path gets smashed I will reroute
Build a myself cabbage redoubt

Restaurant my new spot try the cabbage cookies
I’ve been around the block I’m no cabbage rookie.
My Cabbage Delicacy bistro
My Cabbage baby in vitro
My Cabbage has no equal
Cabbage to the people!


I am the cabbage king
This my coronation
Let us stand and sing
Welcome to cabbage nation
Welcome to cabbage nation
Welcome to cabbage nation
Welcome to cabbage nation 
Put your heads up
Put your heads up
Welcome to cabbage nation
Put your heads up
Put your heads up
My time will come Just be patient and relax
Everything will change when cabbage naysh attacks

Obvious Corruption [Obvious Lee, Cosmic Ray Corruption] - Avatar The Last Cabbage Vendor

Fandom: Bob's Burgers
Character: Gene

Smiles times from your brother in a burger suit
No formal training but a banger what I'm bringing you
We  Playing in the hallway and I'm taking commissions
we Slaying every sunday, more relatable Simpsons
Your Head spins when I'm dressing up like queen latifah 
we can always make it sweeter, mom’s got candy in the freezer
when the guests come in DROP a beat and make em go wild
Best friend Ken jumping all up in the freestyle
I'll stay with geoffrey, I don't wanna grow up
Ask my mom to come and get me if I pee on this rug
home alone and I’ve been pacing, I’ve been facing my fears
the only one inside my home who’s never hiding his ears
And I’ve been begging for a snack like I’ve been begging for your pardon
eat a taco on a toilet that was placed inside a garden
Sisters got my back if we should ever have a problem
best legs in the family, for sure the smoothest bottom


All I need on this earth is some good food 
To make grooves even if I don't know how to
D-I-Y baby that's been My whole life
and i know that
Everybody wants to see me succeed so
Inhibitions I just threw them out  the window
So do your part
every fart is a work of art

I know my family will always save a seat for me
when i'm feeling agony they help me through the tragedy 
steering clear of apathy and lose myself in rhapsody
and my keyboard says it perfectly    


What I'm supposed to do? Just sit on my hands?
The lord done blessed me with this body be a sin to not dance
Clothing only a suggestion when you get in this trance
And You do not need pants when in New Geneland, and
I'm never ever made to feel like I suck
Even when I'm in a laser dog bark fart rut
End of day it's safe to say I'm feeling good cause they know
I got a built-in audience if I should put on a show
I'd be pouring on the charm so that they couldn't say no 
Sorry that I filled the burger grinder full of Play-Doh
So baby hit me with that gravy, i can't guarantee your safety 
Bette Midler better play me, 
Can't nobody center stage me


All I need on this earth is some good food 
To make grooves even if I don't know how to
D-I-Y baby that's been My whole life
and i know that
Everybody wants to see me succeed so
Inhibitions I just threw them out  the window
So do your part
every fart is a work of art

I know my family will always save a seat for me
when i'm feeling agony they help me through the tragedy 
steering clear of apathy and lose myself in rhapsody
and my keyboard says it perfectly    

I'm writing constantly and no one's ever stopping me
all about the harmony and never about profiting
maybe I'm a prodigy that wouldn't eat his broccoli
my keyboard says it perfectly like

Muscle Laughing Shrimp [Beefy, tanner4105] - Every Fart is a Work of Art

Fandom: Fringe
Character: Gene the Cow

I was eating grass
I was chillin' out
Now I'm in a lab
I think that I'm trapped
Cuz he couldn't use a rat to bring him back
Maybe i should join a frat
While I'm here in this basement in Cambridge
I ain't seen the sun or the sky in like ages
His crimes I'm a silent witness I write em down on pages in my mind
I got a nice mew to moo and graze in
But my mind's caged in this cage
And I'm raging and grazing
Am I an accomplice to his accomplishments?
While I chomp this grass and ponder this:
Am I anonymous?
Or am I synonymous with the Bishop's lies
Forgotten in his church the dimensions of his crimes
Cuz he lied to himself in the mirror
Hear the liеs he told himself
Selfish with his fеar
That his mind broke hope nope
But for the son who's torn soul
Stole from the same father through a hole
Dimensional portal a dad who couldn't let go

Nice to meet you I am Gene kids
Only cow who's a genius
Open dimensions right at their hinges
That's where you'll find me out at the fringes

Nice to meet you I am Gene kids
Only cow who's a genius
Open dimensions right at their hinges
That's where you'll find me out at the fringes

Don't have a cow, we're awful pets
But I do get compliments
When they spot me in black and white outfits
And when I'm in amber I look so fresh
Droppin' lean rhymes
In New York strip club lines
They all scream out
Anthropomorphin' time
But my gift to spit n quip so hip n hypnotic
Was born in the lab oozing vials so toxic
Blowing up papayas with googly eyes "science"
The war with the other side opened my eyelids
Not for the FBI or to solve a crime
They just wanted chocolate milk so one time
So he force fed me cocoa beans you know just to see
But what made me the meanest bovine mc
That this earth's ever seen
Is that Cortexiphan lean
That I sipped unseen in season 3
Astrid is my dream she brushes my fur and my teeth
You call her Asterisk, Astrox, Aspirin
You old cruel fool, her name's Astrid, you ass, say Astrid
And you can call me Boss Taurus
If you removed your brain and forgot my name
Here's the chorus

Nice to meet you I am Gene kids
Only cow who's a genius
Open dimensions right at their hinges
That's where you'll find me out at the fringes

Move Bishop get out the way
Get out the way bish'
Get out the way
Move Bishop get out the way
Get out the way
I'm escaping today

Nice to meet you I am Gene kids
Only cow who's a genius
Open dimensions right at their hinges
That's where you'll find me out at the fringes

Hard Corey and A Dinosaur [Hard Corey, A Dinosaur] - Rap Genius

Fandom: Chrono Trigger
Charater: Random Cave Guy # 2*

[Verse 1]


Ayla from Ioka
You're the cream to my mocha
You're my sugar and my safety
Take your soup to elevate me
Ayla from Ioka I just want you to see me
Party like it's 65 million BC
Ayla from Ioka
You're the cream to my mocha
You're my sugar and my safety
Take your soup to elevate me
Ayla from Ioka I just want you to see me
Party like it's 65 million BC

[Chorus]

You drink your caveman soup
You drink your caveman soup
You drink your caveman soup
You drink your caveman soup

[Verse 2]

Chrono come alive like it's 1995
Like it's 1995 and the dance floor is calling
Chrono come alive like it's 1995
Like it's 1995 and the dance floor is calling
Chrono come alive like it's 1995
Like it's 1995 and the dance floor is calling
Chrono come alive like it's 1995
Like it's 1995 and the dance floor is calling

Chorus]

You drink your caveman soup
You drink your caveman soup
You drink your caveman soup
You drink your caveman soup

Häagen Dûdz [Johnny Salt, DJ Lemon Pepper] - 65 Million Years BC

Fandom: Baki
Character:  Yujiro Hanma 

Yujiro
(Demon In The Back)


Intro/Bridge:
I think y’all funny/ I like y’all bloody/
I keep my shoes muddy/ Shit bout to get ugly/
Ima lion out the cage and i’m feelin jah hungry/
A savage for the ages, here to take my money/

Hook: 2x
Bitch I ain’t no hero, 
(Demon In The Back)
They call me Yujiro/
(Demon In The Back)
Alias is Ogre/
(Demon In The Back)
 Against me then its over/ 
(Demon In The Back)

Verse1: 
Kill all of your soldiers, ima one man army/
You can try to use guns, y’all weapons can’t harm me/
If you think you can stop me, than we can party/
This is not sparring, I am not Baki/
It could be karate, it will be boxing/
When the pain hits you, it is not stopping/
If you do not know me, than do not approach me/
I’ll tear out your eye just like Doppo Orochi/
You bleeding out slowly, and laying below me/
Said you was a fighter you gotta be joking/
Looks to me like you need way more experience/
Traveled the world, spread out my lineage/ 
Winnings continuous, 
Fuck all your titles, I beat all the Kios, 
Bitch, I am Survival!/





Bridge:
I think y’all funny/ 
(Demon In The Back Bruh)
I like y’all bloody/
(Demon In My Back Ya’ll)
I keep my shoes muddy/ 
(Demon In The Back Tho)
Shit bout to get ugly/
(Demon In The Back Yo)
Ima lion out the cage/
(Demon In The Back)
And i’m feelin jah hungry/
(Demon In The Back)
A savage for the ages/
(Demon In The Back)
Here to take my money/
(Demon In The Back)


Hook: 2x
Bitch I ain’t no hero, 
(Demon In The Back)
They call me Yujiro/
(Demon In The Back)
Alias is Ogre,
(Demon In The Back)
 Against me then its over/ 
(Demon In The Back)
Bitch I ain’t no hero/
They call me Yujiro/
Alias is Ogre/
Against me then its over/





END

VPC7, Round 1

Green Lotus [Osiris Green, RiotOnTheBeat] - Yujiro

Fandom: Animal Crossing
Character: Redd

Everybody calls me Redd
But my favorite color is Green
Hit me with the bread
I hit you with a deal
It's a cousin thing
Just don't ask about the art smuggling 
Full of surprises like Lupin
To get you the prices like Groupon
Crude, the way I wheel and deal
I'm droppin' clues
Might have more than one OG in Stock
if I'm in the mood
Swell, you want the statue?
Hit me with the bells then relax,
Check the mail tomorrow, I'll get back at you.

Chorus:
I brought the deals
I'm saying Y'all
It's quite the steal.
Cop that piece if it's got you feelin feels
It don't matter if it's fake or if it's real cuz
x2

Come a long way since the days of selling furniture
Now the title is "Fine Art Servicer"
Museum security staff murderer
I'm just trying to be a good merchant, sure
Took a tiny swerve in the curvature
Talk too fast might need an interpreter
Costs 2 grand and a spleen, it's worth it sir
Got curators feelin like they curse is cursed.

Chorus

He's gettin unstoppable
Each mission impossible
Finally notice it's missin
I'm on my boat rollin' optimos
Just bought me a trolley, called it Code Redd
No we toppin' on Interpols most wanted
Criminal extraordinaire with savings as the aftermath
Stay outta the way or catch an elbow like I'm Cactus Jack
Got the goods locked in a safe but I'm crackin' that
Kraken of the seas, the Fox with a captains hat

Dappersaurus [An Hobbes, 2Ton21] - Redd is the New Green

Fandom: Star Trek deep cuts
Character: Khan Noonien Singh. 

SPACE SEED
[#%^] 


Woke up, knife to the docs throat
No fucks, others might have lost hope
But i’m a product of the best of the 90s
And I got the best of the best behind me


A descendant of the remnants of the great clans
I like a brave man who can make plans and take stands
A depraved band of snake hands won’t make it very far
In the these great lands


Great lands in need of a new make of a man
That’s me, you can check your fuckin brain scans
Before i burn your stuff into a waste land
I will learn enough to turn your luck quicker than fate can


Ten times your strength and my mind’s intense
End of the line been to the vine
Grew into wine, i spent a lifetime 
Then i went on take whatever is mine by divine intent
That’s everything
And now time is bent in my favor
You were not meant to understand my behavior
My awful capers from the past will make me an awesome savior 
For your own sins and perversions


History repeats itself, who wins in this version?
Khan
I can only give you a hint of the burden of what it is to be a superior build build of a person

[#%^] [MessiahCarey, Jared Sparks] - Space Seed

Fandom: Resident Evil 
Character: Albert Wesker

I know these noises of the dead are not the voices in my head
Keeping focused, staying stressed
Till they all get laid to rest
Is the T the violence virus? I'm the monster making bets
No solace sirens, silent tyrants celebrate with death (hey)
You are alone
Floundering in my control
You won't be making it home
Losing your soul
This mansion is more than I've shown
I'll lead you off on your own
Use you for combat data with no one to save ya
My experiments will chase ya, waste ya, taste ya flava
"Everyday, humans come one step closer to self destruction"
In many ways, I'm here to save them
They cannot see that they're puppets
And I alone, the master might control the world, I'm after
Global dominance, with power I'll evolve the bastards

Pull the strings of genes, make the fiends make em bleed
I don't think that they see, what I've done with T
Pull the strings of genes, make the fiends make em bleed
I don't think that they see, what I've done to me

Infect myself, I am no longer a human being
I am all powerful, I'm something you have never seen
This betrayal is the start, now you'll see the pain
"Sure, I'm not human anymore, but (just) look at the power (I've) gained!" 

Pull the strings of genes, make the fiends make em bleed
I don't think that they see what I've done with T
Pull the strings of genes, make the fiends make em bleed
I don't think that they see what I've done to me

Anti Hero [BVNE, El Diaz] - T

Fandom: The Little Mermaid
Character: Ursula

Intro:
Come with me down below
Sink into my catacombs
See how deep you will go
find the spot you'll call home        
forevermore


Verse 1:
This is Armageddon, be ready when karma beckons
This class is now in session, you need to learn your lesson
This Queen is not from heaven, but divine in my confessions
This connection of rejection has lead to my transgressions
You think you have control over how my life would go
You thought I would rot in your exiled onslaught
You think I'd be controlled by such veil souls
You thought you got the villain, [laugh] I think not 


Hook:
Enter my Leviathan
Won't you explore deep within
Don't be shy, Just let me in
Come and let us taste your sin


Verse 2:
Poor little creatures you are all now my possessions
Unfortunately your saviour will have to witness this lesson
Souls eventually endure tension, Seven, controlled like weapons
Nereid was my profession until you Sirened my aggression
Sweet child, it could be undone, but that's no fun, it's just begun
Flotsam, Jetsam, My poor henchmen, your defeat will be complete
My screams will leave you deafened, your souls are mine to keep
Remember this is Armageddon, now children it's time to eat

2 Cannonz [SirenSeraph, PSX] - In Memoriam of Flotsam and Jetsam

Fandom - Adventure time
Character- BMO

Lyrics

Intro – Narrator: This little living computer game system is BMO. My information doesn’t 
seem to say wether they are a he, or a she, just BMO. Oh well. 

BMO: Who wants to play Video GAMES?!?! Check it out Ya’ll.

CHORUS

When it gets hard to fight
there's nothing left to fear
They'll never turn out my light
I'll always be right here

VERSE

Well I'm,
Usually confusedly miss-gendered as a dude you see
Oops a Dees-y seems he's a she
She, snoozily approves being believed to be a summary of these;
Male female and a dissociative identity

Attendency is rendering me mentally free
to achieve my dreams and schemes
and to be the side kick I'm meant to be

Shit sent from me directly behind
A human centipede extensively entering blind
on some adventure time

CHORUS

When it gets hard to fight
there's nothing left to fear
They'll never turn out my light
I'll always be right here


Resigned and inclined 
I’ll find time to unwind
I'm designed to align your dexterity and your grind

It's a synch in a pinch 
You glimpse and make it simp for a 
Hit of the shit on my circuitry unit
working these movements

I'm a tag along sang a song bang a gong vagabond 
hanging on to every last wrong
and it makes me strong

Power on for the people, not Jesus, Not evil

Im BMO no EGO no Gender No equal

BRIDGE

I'm not broken robot
Just need a technician with a soft spot

Whatever comes next
We'll be together on a mission an adventure

We will fight for us
With everything we can never gonna give up

Thank you for my strength
And making me as strong as I was meant to be

CHORUS ABRIDGED

When it gets hard to fight
Just need a technician with a soft spot

There's nothing left to fear
We’ll be together on a mission an adventure

They'll never turn out my light
With everything we can never gonna give up

I'll always be right here

BMO: I Love you too, Goodbye!

1up Funk [Bobby Arsen, Hook Shot] - Be More

Fandom: Harry Potter
Character: The Sorting Hat

This one goes out to my man Robert Galbraith. 
Sorting gang. We're the worst. 

[chorus] x2
If I can sort you in then I can sort you out. 
You couldn't thwart all the things that I've brought about. 
How did Lord Voldemort find supportive crowds? 
See, you're taught to be naughty in the naughty house. 

[verse 1]
I set the wheels in motion. I sense your real emotions 
and send you reeling into the field I've chosen. 
Perchance evil potions, deeds of deep revulsion. 
I'll achieve my goals as long as I meet the quotient. 
I'm not even coaching, just picking the teams 
and filling Slytherin with all of the shittiest tweens. 
These kids will be in smithereens and no one intervenes. 
My little scheme tickles me till I split at the seams. 
And Dumbledore... 
Did you think that dumdum just stumbled through the door? 
Or got that gig on merits? Like being careless 
and looking away when children perish 
in perilous scenarios? Or get very close to some scary ghost 
with varicose veins and hairy toes, wearing burial clothes? 
I put him in with confidence 
that I would find the odd use for his obtuse incompetence. 

[chorus] x2

[verse 2]
Who divides and conquers spies and plonkers? 
'Tis I, the bonnet. "And why? It's wrong?" 'Cause I'm just bonkers. 
My best sponsors are mindless wanderers, 
floundering onwards unaware of what unkindness conjures. 
Blind, unconscious, while I write destinies 
and set trajectories. Yes I'm a hat, but I pick the accessories. 
Expressed unease, rest in peace. No one suspects a headpiece, 
but I've got the future all laid out in excel spreadsheets. 
Deadbeats and death eaters make up my faculty 
I pick the children like fruit off an apple tree. 
The alchemy of apathy as I essentialize, 
categorize and emphasize the differential lines. 
Never empathize. Just spread empty lies like how Mars and Venus, 
and vulvas, ovaries, balls and penis 
share an important link, and other sordid things. 
It's a boring kink, I know, but I sort of think...

[chorus]

[outro variant]
If I can sort you in then I can sort you out. 
You couldn't thwart all the things that I've brought about. 
How did Joanne Rowling find supportive crowds? 
See, you're taught to be naughty...

.5 Quartet [Vincent E.L., Ardamus] - Sort You Out

The 1up Funk boys are back with a track all about their favourite subjects, THEMSELVES! They take you thgough their journey in the VPC 6, and drop some dope bars about Batman. Enjoy!

Hard Corey and A Dinosaur [Hard Corey, A Dinosaur] - Rap Genius

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