quite a lot of thoughts fill me now, but they are so indistinct and chaotic that it would be more accurate to classify them as feelings. i am nothing of myself in music, and i am unlikely to be able to achieve something. no, it’s not “something” that i am unable to achieve, i will never be able to get close to what impresses me so much. i am no ravel or satie, and, despite the fact that music is the main thing, if not the only thing, that i sincerely paid attention, time and effort to in my life, my efforts are insignificant. music will always be “just a hobby”. i myself have always refused to make it something bigger.
when i see falling snow lately, for some reason the loneliness weighs heavily on me, although now things have just begun to improve with my socialization, it seems... i don’t understand anything, but maybe it’s for the better.
tomorrow is already 2024... let's see what it brings us. i don’t see the point in hoping for the best, so I will try on my own to make this year better than all previous.

when have i forgotten about achieving grand goals?

nihigo