a beautiful, hurtful life: chapter 2/30
read more about the song on my website: https://revenantmusic.net/#at-the-end-of-time

connect with me:
soundcloud: @revenant-edm
spotify: open.spotify.com/artist/48Icw89LgB8t7C7AnUIT0Q
instagram: www.instagram.com/revenant.music/
discord: discord.gg/2uEpQ4nYn2
twitter: twitter.com/revenant_music
audius: audius.co/revenant
lyrics: genius.com/artists/Revenant-ishraq-choudhury

connect with Parable Collective:
soundcloud: @parablecollective
discord: discord.gg/2uEpQ4nYn2
instagram: www.instagram.com/parable.collective/
twitter: twitter.com/ParableOfficial

art credits: me

In 2020, I lost a close family friend due to COVID-19. The last time I saw him was when he visited my family and me in late 2019. At the time I was studying for exams and didn't give him the time he needed and that was the last time I saw him.
In the past, I lost my grandparents in a similar manner.
'at the end of time' is an attempt to convey how I feel now. All the work did pay off, but at what cost? I could have everything I could ever want but would lose everyone in the process.
It taught me about how unfortunately anyone at any time could disappear, and that I should remember to put these people first and give them the love, time, and care they need.
Everything else in this world is temporary.

at the end of time
The family friend and my grandparents were some of the sweetest people that could ever have existed. They would always encourage me with everything I did, from music to my studies and would always make me feel like I was special.
My paternal grandmother was the last grandparent to live, and she passed away before I got a place at medical school, something that all of my grandparents dreamt of and encouraged me to pursue. At the time of writing this, I have finished my fifth year of medical school, done well in my exams, and won a scholarship, but they're not here to see it.
I wish you could see me now, I know I would've made you proud and I'm sorry I didn't give you more time. If you're out there, wherever you are, I hope you can see what I'm doing. This is all for you and I will be the best I can be for you.

lyrics:
[verse 1]
at what cost did i succeed?
by giving into my own greed

i didn't give the time you need 
and now you're no longer here

[bridge]
but now you are gone
and i keep thinking it's my fault 
i couldn't give you all my love
i don't know if i can keep going on

[chorus]
and i'll keep running away
so many things that i've wanted to say
i know that i'm to blame
i can't look back because i am ashamed

and at the end of time
i'll finally feel alive
nobody by my side
it's the end of a beautiful, hurtful life

[verse 2]
i want a way out
i hate how you're not around
i wish you could see me now
i know that i would've made you proud

[bridge]
but now you are gone
and i keep thinking it's my fault 
i couldn't give you all my love
i don't know if i can keep going on

[chorus]
and i'll keep running away
so many things that i've wanted to say
i know that i'm to blame
i can't look back because i am ashamed

and at the end of time
i'll finally feel alive
nobody by my side
it's the end of a beautiful, hurtful life

a beautiful, yet hurtful life

at the end of time

download

Vestige

It's sink or swim!!!

-----

fault lines
plates all start to shake, i feel them
break ground while i break down and hide away
sometimes
i wish i could be social
don't wanna smell like isopropyl anymore

and the circles that i wear
could've come from anywhere
and no one seems the wiser
don't think anybody cares

studying the patterns in the floor
cuz i can't stare in the mirror
i'm beside myself

(you said, are you sad)
(you said, are you sad, you said)
(you said, are you sad, you said)
(you said, are you sad, yeah)

and right now it's sink or swim
cuz i got tired of rowing
let the waves carry me
i don't know where i'm going
and i tried to love myself
even though it seemed so pointless
i'm sorry, i can't, i already committed
to being a disappointment

and the circles that i wear
could've come from anywhere
and no one seems the wiser
don't think anybody cares

studying the patterns in the floor
cuz i can't stare in the mirror
i'm beside myself

(you said, are you sad)
(you said, are you sad, you said)
(you said, are you sad, you said)
(you said, are you sad, yeah)

i'm here again, here again
(mm, yeah yeah)
i'm here again, here again
i'm here again, here again
(mm, yeah yeah)
i'm here again, oh

Fault Lines

kinda in chronological order

00:00 - joe house type beat
03:20 - joe house type beat, again
04:54 - dollar store https://soundcloud.com/monstercat/puppet-first-time-fighting
07:33 - long boring ass ambient thing 
10:36 - dollar store https://soundcloud.com/cantfindmenowlol/old-song-with-my-little-brother
12:23 - NOIR moment
13:28 - LEAD - sharp pluck type beat 
14:06 - kinda a bop 
15:04 - laxcity type beat
17:27 - angy all the time (AWAYS A WAY TRAP REMIX)

some old unfinished songs

what I'd give to be you again
---
Twitter: twitter.com/noirsound_
Instagram: instagram.com/noirsound_
---
(Verse 1)
Another day, another reason not to look up
Wash your eyes, stay inside
Try your hardest to forget who we are
Strangers with common pasts
(We are strangers with common pasts)
It's alright, it's alright
Though there's barely any time
It's okay, just look at me and jump off the fence
I know you'll make it

(Chorus)
I know you'll make it
I know you'll make it

How many moments apart
Lost in the dark
How did you and I become so different?
You brought the raging tides
And the wings to fly
What I'd give to be you again
Myself in the past

(Verse 2)
I don't believe in enough anymore
I can barely write this song
Rock bottom, mess up, get back up
Don't call me on my phone
I'll pick up and hang up

There's a reason I suppose
Why you stay up late alone
It's cause a glimpse of the future would hurt
One where you didn't care at all

(Pre Chorus)
Was it worth it losing everyone you knew?
It will be harder now
I hope you'll see this through
Caught in a riptide doing everything for you
If we make it out I'll leave it all to you

(Chorus)
I know you'll make it
I know you'll make it

How many moments apart
Lost in the dark
How did you and I become so different?
You brought the raging tides
And the wings to fly
What I'd give to be you again
Myself in the past

(Bridge)
What's the point
Too late to go back now
I'll stay and rot
Like everyone else does
Is it impossible to live again?
(Like everyone else does)
Maybe we can
And maybe we cannot
But I wanna try
And find what I stand for
Maybe you'll understand along the way

(Pre Chorus II)
I know
You're too young to have everything it takes
But you can't afford to give up
And let it go to waste
So we'll try
We'll try to face the tide
We'll try

(Chorus II)
As we're restless
Staying restless
Staying restless through the night
As we're restless
Staying restless
Staying restless all our lives
As we're restless
Staying restless
Staying restless through the night
As we're restless
Staying restless
Staying restless all our lives
All our lives

(Chorus)
All our lives, all our lives, all our lives
All our lives, all our lives, all our lives

How many moments apart
Lost in the dark
How did you and I become so different?
You brought the raging tides
And the wings to fly
What I'd give to be you again
How many moments apart
Lost in the dark
Maybe you and I could find another way
I've had a change of heart
Will gladly take it back
Everything that I said to you
Myself in the past
---
---
this sounded so weird 2 years ago lol https://soundcloud.com/noirwastaken/raging-tides-wip/s-vF4AozycqNU

RAGING TIDES

i know you hate me but i'm proud of myself
---
Follow @adronn , @distantx_x , @rainsweptmusic , @rocormusic
Art by andrewcockroach and casieldg
https://linktr.ee/andrewcockroach
https://www.instagram.com/casieldg
---
Call me reckless all you want now
I'll do it on my own
Cause I'm tired of this selfishness
You never tend to show
And burning in the fire
Won't save you from the cold
Cause this everlasting restlessness
Is nothing but your fault

You're pushing your luck
If you think you can come on top of this
You live on the edge
But you can never see the point of it
I'm losing my mind
It's hard to sleep cause I keep seeing the
Disgust in your eyes
I know you hate me but I'm proud of myself

I know you hate me but I'm proud of myself

Undecided
Uninvited
Maybe you should be reminded
Undecided
We're divided
In my life you're not invited

Call me reckless I won’t find out 
There’s only so much I can know 
I just sit back here and reminisce 
How did I get so low?
You call me a liar 
You think that you know it all
Why do you never make any sense?
I always take the fall

You're pushing your luck
If you think you can come on top of this
You live on the edge
But you can never see the point of it
I'm losing my mind
It's hard to sleep cause I keep seeing the
Disgust in your eyes
I know you hate me but I'm proud of myself

I know you hate me but I'm proud of myself

Undecided
Uninvited
Maybe you should be reminded
Undecided
We're divided
In my life you're not invited

Guess I don't need you anymore
Leave me alone
I'm tired of this life that we both chose
And this fear of giving up keeps getting worse
And every second wasted staring at the wall
I'd rather spend it all alone

Undecided
Uninvited
Maybe you should be reminded
Undecided
We're divided
In my life you're not invited

CALL ME RECKLESS

CALL ME RECKLESS w/ Adronn, Distant, Rainswept & Rocor

--------
Twitter: twitter.com/noirsound_
Instagram: instagram.com/noirsound_
--------
Young boy around seventeen
Already left with no friends, no self esteem
It was always cold but he didn't feel a thing
He said "I'll show 'em what I'm worth the day I turn eighteen"
He ran away today
And I was watching as he threw all his stuff away
Without a place to live
It was the first ever day this city felt alive
When he shouted
"Who the hell's better than me anyway"

Yeah, yeah
Who the hell's better than me anyway
Yeah, yeah
Who the hell's better than me anyway
Yeah, yeah
Who the hell's better than me anyway
Yeah, yeah
Who can make it if not me anyway
--------

BETTER THAN ME

w/ @distantx_x
@rainsweptmusic
@noirskg
@adronn

I’m drowning in this temporary ecstasy
I’m never quite who I intend to be
And seeing the world like you never did
Growing up but still a stupid kid

I wanna fill the empty space
Just today
This feeling never stays
Tomorrow we’ll be alone again
’Til then I’ll swallow the poison

Four years flew right by
Stuck here, I can’t decide
Wanted to feel alive
Wish that I had the time
Chasing
Changing
I’m so uncomplacent 
I just want another day

Another day to fill the space
Another chance I can’t replace
Among the crowd I’m just a face
Don’t worry, I’m ok
But if it all comes crashing down
I don’t know if I’ll come around
Another war I should’ve fought
Don’t tell me what I want

I wanna fill the empty space
Just today
This feeling never stays
Tomorrow we’ll be alone again
’Til then I’ll swallow the poison

I’ll swallow your poison
Your flesh and your bones
And I’ll stay here with you ’til it’s over
Time took my friends
And I’m nothing without them
The ink turns to black in the winter

I wanna fill the empty space
Just today
This feeling never stays
Tomorrow we’ll be alone again
’Til then I’ll swallow the poison

I wanna fill the empty space
Just today
This feeling never stays
Tomorrow we’ll be alone again
’Til then I’ll swallow the poison

TOMORROW WE'LL BE

collection of works from 2020-2022. lush soundscapes for your listening pleasure.