sleepyish songs

production, mixing and backing vocals by @blackwinterwells
<3 <3 <3

breathe close to me
i wanna know it's not a dream
cause it feels so much better than anything
and u see what i am when u look at me

but i can't see u the way i mean to
ur pixelated
baby come just a little closer to the barricade
i press my face to the glass and all i pray for and ask
gets just as close as it can then i am pulled away
some hypothetical force changes the keys to the door
i keep on wanting u more
i hope u feel the same
i think the world's gonna end
i wish someone would say when
cause i would run to u then
i don't think i'd complain

all the tears i've cried could cause an ice age if they froze
if i get through the winter i'll swim to ur home
when the glacial melt claims everything that we know
here i go now with my doomsaying
i see u waiting
and it's ok
it'll be ok
i'd give all i am
i'm a hologram but as long as you'll have me i'll stay

..i want u every day
somehow i doubt that'll change
i just wish that were something i could substantiate
i think the world's gonna end
i hope they let me know when
cause i will run to u then
i know i won't complain

seer

seer (blackwinterwells)

production, mixing and backing vocals by @blackwinterwells

come pick me up i'll pay for gas
there's nowhere that i want to be
and you'll drive fast and i won't ask
to pick the music or the street
and we can talk about whatever and pretend that we won't tell
even pretending to ourselves

u think it's easy where it's darker 
and i like to feel my heart
speed up with my eyes shut
and feel we're doing something we should not
so for a time i spend my life just trying to find out when to stop
just trying to guess when we'll get caught

this place is suffocating
i'll still be here in five years
like i promise i won't through the wind in your ears
but nothing feels as urgent
and these nights are still important
and there's still a lot i haven't put into words yet

every time i feel alive it will feel just like this
i'll get the things u did 
forget the boy i kissed
by the hangar and you'll both be strangers to me

tonight it matters how i'm not a person who u want to see
cause i like to talk about the hospital and go when i don't need it
just to show the world i feel it
i only ever did it once
and it was selfish it was dumb
but i can't bring myself to

hate me for wanting a break
i'll still be here in five years
where i made every mistake
sixteen trying to disappear
for one week and a half
you know it's all an act
cause there's still a lot i haven't put into words yet

hangar

hangar (blackwinterwells)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YlEMFfHQKs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YlEMFfHQKs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YlEMFfHQKs

@kiryano

I’m slowly gettin there but I’m not even close 
I’m looking back to when you hugged me and I froze 
and tbh now I feel just like a ghost 
I cannot love you if you don’t want me to grow 

do it for the feeling in my chest 
it doesn’t look like it but I still try my best 
will you pick me up when I’m a mess? 
or I guess just leave me where I’m at 

thru my window watch the trees move in the wind 
I feel your sunlight in in my heart and on my skin 
and I don’t even wanna think of all my sins 
I know I can’t go back to where I’ve been 

I do what I can just to feel like me again
I would show you what I mean but it’s so hard 2explain 
they don’t understand what I go thru in my head 
what I go thru everyday just so I can feel ok

mess (kiryano) vid in desc

vox prod mix by me ( @bigdog30k)
music video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bjxgBrk4ZNI

ill get back on my feet
i know i always repeat
i have been right here before
and i cant talk i cant see
its so much worse than it seems
ive been hurt like this before
and itll happen again

ill tape this body shut and ill bolt my throat
ill walk a thousand miles in this room
ill let this body rot and i hope it floats
ill do whatever u want me to

ill be the swan by the lake
ill be the one that breaks

i cant stand
i cant stand it any longer than i have
it feels bad
grab these hands
everyday is getting longer than the last
it feels bad

everything is falling apart x3

ill tape this body shut and ill bolt my throat
ill walk a thousand miles in this room
ill let this body rot and i hope it floats
ill do whatever u want me to

today im rotting
today
ill do whatever you want me to
x2

back on my feet

art by @snarge <3 prod. artemys

staring at the ceiling i don't know how it's real
baby these ain't secrets girl it's just how i feel
speaking to the devil i think we cut a deal
getting hard to hold on but for you know i will
staring at the ceiling i don't know how it's real
baby these ain't secrets girl it's just how i feel
speaking to the devil i think we cut a deal
getting hard to hold on but for you know i will

seeing all these things they only exist in my dreams
i love it when you smile you're the only one i see
i'd hold you above me if the darkness underneath
i don't wanna hurt you you're the one that's meant for me
i know somethings don't play out the way we want em 
i got racks up in my jeans you know i'll spend it on you
only time i see my future when i'm standing next to you
girl you're my forever no we don't play by the rules
staring at you i get lost inside your eyes
you say i'm bluffing but i tell you all the time
i've been searching for you like all of my life
now i'll never let you outside of my sight

girl it's just how i feel 
(yea it's just how i feel, yea it's just how i feel)
girl it's just how i feel 
(yea it's just how i feel, yea it's just how i feel)

staring at the ceiling i don't know how it's real
baby these ain't secrets girl it's just how i feel
speaking to the devil i think we cut a deal
getting hard to hold on but for you know i will
staring at the ceiling i don't know how it's real
baby these ain't secrets girl it's just how i feel
speaking to the devil i think we cut a deal
getting hard to hold on but for you know i will

(but for you know i will)
(but for you know i will)
(but for you know i will)
(but for you know i will)

For U (artemys)

prod me <3

lyrics:

everything’s too much for me
and my minds shut down now i cant think
this is not how it’s supposed to be 
lay awake all night i can never sleep

its hard to get up 
i cant fix a thing
i know i’m fed up
it gets the best of me
i know i’m set though
its still too hard to see
past it all now 
wish it would let me free
 
i wish you’d just let me catch my breath 
feeling like there’s nothing left
take me away or get of my head
either ways the same i guess

i’m still upset at how i never tried to fix this
i know i’m dumb for thinking things were looking up again
not sorry for myself i know it has a purpose
yet every day i feel so down i’m crawling out of my skin

nvr_sl33p.mp3 (prod. liltumblrxo)

vox/art/mix&prod by me (@bigdog30k)

Lyrics:
if i let you in then would you stay here for a while
‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ touch me softly as you spoke on through the night
‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ and i know youre lost it eats me up inside
‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ this pain wasnt meant for you
  ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ this pain wasnt meant for you
  ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎  ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

  ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎  ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎  ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎  ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎let me forget
  ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎  ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎  ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎  ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎  ‎ just for a while
  ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎  ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎  ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎  ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎i know it hurts

Softly (as Ever)

prod me
lyrics:
had to move on from my past life i cant dwell on the old me
no choice but to tell you farewell even if i’m so lonely 
you can see that i’m trying my best i hope that you do so too
i could live a thousand lifetimes i’d still choose one with you

she’s got tumblr as her ringtone and she plays it all the time
i know you’re scared but it’s okay, you’re never alone as long as you’re mine
and i’m so stressed out with no moonlight, when it comes back i’ll be fine
nothing makes sense to me anymore and i’ll never fall in line

tell me is it over?
i’m sorry for not doing more
the rain it calms me
swear i’ve never felt this low before
but i guess it’s for the best cause i can’t do this all again
and everyday i’m so depressed and i just wish it all would end

i’m on discord and i see that you’re online
i would’ve messaged back, i don’t have wifi
looking up at the night sky i feel more alive

imsorryfornotdoingmore

@buffalobang

why cant i ever just do what i say so
ill do it this time baby just stay close
i stayed 10 toes down in this stronghold
hoping no one gets close
getting by on bare bones
often, dissatisfied too often
it always falls apart when
i think its looking up and
i cant take it again
often, dissatisfied too often
it always falls apart when
i think its looking up and
i cant take it again

keep me safe
we'll find our way
take me in
and let me stay

i- i said ill try my best
took the first step and skipped the rest
and its hard to do the basic things
but i swear ive tried like everything

why cant i ever just do what i say so
ill do it this time baby just stay close
i stayed 10 toes down in this stronghold
hoping no one gets close
getting by on bare bones
often, dissatisfied too often
it always falls apart when
i think its looking up and
i cant take it again
often, dissatisfied too often
it always falls apart when
i think its looking up and
i cant take it again

buffalobang - catharsis (prod. FM Inertia)

urs ever

Illsaberr

lifeline

ft. @mezhaa + @mayh3mp
prod me
www.instagram.com/kidsnrlax
www.instagram.com/mmezhaa
www.instagram.com/mayh3mp

saw her look at me now she wnna tear out my heart
bby u look pretty when ur posted wit a SCAR-L
hold me down my luv u kno ur my only fucking star
everytime i think abt u i jus tear myself apart
i can feel u from a far because i kno where u are
hold onto me bby because i been way 2 fcn scarred
i do not wnna b harmed i got ice all on my arms
yea u drive me crazy cus idk wtf we are

hold me down w/ mezha + mayh3mp

ranier

https://soundcloud.com/monocryy
prod. caves jolst

mckel - why not

tap in - https://www.instagram.com/p/CywzreFMLmy/?img_index=1

ꜱɪᴘ ɴᴅ ɪ ꜱɪᴘ ɴᴅ ɪ ꜱɪᴘ ɴᴅ ɪ ᴅʀᴀɴᴋᴋᴋᴋ
ɪ ᴅᴏɴᴛ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴋɴᴏ ᴡᴀᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ
ɪ ᴊᴜꜱ ɢᴏᴛᴛᴀ ᴡ8 ...

i jus gotta wait for dat
was it me or was it uuUuuu
he be talkin bullshit
but im seein right thru
watz da difference between me nd u

trending on top itz a lot itz a lot i swear !
itz a fckin manhunttttt
dey b coming 4 mEeee
u got nothin 4 mEeee
itz gettin late into the night
lemme read u a bedtime story

ill pave da way 4 u
no tellin wat thyll do
ur sellin urz
wat arnt u tellin m3
whisper round the closed doors
whisper round ur bacc
ukno they finna h8 u when u make it?
thtz a fact
only u
so lonely </3

manhunt

<3 <3 <3

oh yea I cant fall off
fuck me up then its all off
run around til im so lost
hit my gut like a sawed off
smoking smog til my lungs fall
all I wanted was a buzz now im so gone
find me in the city with a burner phone
hundred thousand people round me but im all alone
feel it feel it in the air
when I walk around everybody stare
i thought people cared
when I turn around theres nobody there

im a zombie
im a scarecrow
im a monster u dont rlly care tho
with my mouth sewn shut and my big beady eyes 
everyday I think about what its like to 
….. die
all these birds flying round me
might be crows with the big beady eyes

crows (+ mel) [prod. 50g]

Come with me and let’s go dancing in the dark
Just me and you I promise I could play my part
Let’s be forever baby never be a part
Come with me and let’s go dancing in the dark

No i don’t wanna but baby I gatta
I gatta fucking go
I miss your touch and miss your lips girl you know you’re my home
I need you here you need me there like fuck it I don’t know
Let’s live this life together baby I don’t wanna go
Come with me baby now let’s go dancing in the dark
Just me and you I promise you baby Ima play my part
Just me and you let’s promise baby will never be apart
I’ll hold your hand we walking around just staring at the stars

I know it’s hard to be with me
And I know the life I live ain’t really what it seems
And I know the drugs I take they make you scared of me
And I know I’m falling down I’m breaking at the seams
So backtrack
Let’s talk about the things we used to have
I hate myself
But now I’m in my bag
I know it’s hard
To see me act like that
I hate myself
But now I’m in my bag

No i don’t wanna but baby I gatta
I gatta fucking go
I miss your touch and miss your lips girl you know you’re my home
I need you here you need me there like fuck it I don’t know
Let’s live this life together baby I don’t wanna go
Come with me baby now let’s go dancing in the dark
Just me and you I promise you baby Ima play my part
Just me and you let’s promise baby will never be apart
I’ll hold your hand we walking around just staring at the stars

dancing in the dark

stream

dancing in the dark [siemspark]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hhsUOcodalk

where the wind blows (prod eera) *video in bio*

prod. @shlaks x @keyblayde808
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~
u know i gotta make it thru 
no matter the cost
when we were kissing in the backseat
falling in love

i knew u were the 1
ive had me just about enough
where u think u know me from 
bro something is off..

girl i dont mean2 make u mad whenever i go missing
its just im not used2 ppl knowing the difference
but now that i got everybodys attention
i promise iwont ever go back 2 the mudd

i have been losing my mind since the day that i met u 
but its cool its a mood its actually kinda nice
who does my life even have an impact on
stupid thoughts always taking up space wasting time

u put me under ur spell and now im about to cast mine
now ifeel like me n u could take over the whole world
ive been posted up hanging out like a stalactite
going dummy spending money bro its never enuf

Spotify

fabric softener [shlaks x keyblayde808]

ya im free now 
frm demons tht i keep out
u need help baby reach out
and ill b there to meet u

n do u mean it
when u describe the feeling
i feel like i am dreaming
im trying to believe it

im playin on my xbox
they play me on their ipod
u play me grl like nonstop
ill let u win again

time stops
when u looked up our eyes locked
the sun has set but i watch
the stars beneath ur skin

had a look outside the window at the sky n it was red
maybe its a sign i wonder wat is coming next
i dnt come around but i might come down again
learning how to say whats in my head

planted in the dark where the seeds dont grow
i know tht its hard baby please dont go
always wna tlk to me abt where my problems at 
please dont ask

sleepyish songs

nova