Lyrics:

so ironic
i keep forgetting
the memories 

so haunted
i want nothing
but to be free

smoking so hard
i keep forgetting 
i exist 

nobody knows
who i really am
underneath 

I can’t tell if I’m still here
I can’t tell if I’m still here
I can’t tell if I’m still here
I can’t tell if I’m still here

where have i gone?
i feel like 
i’m about to disappear 

ticking time bomb
my chest is aching 
need to switch the gear

loving you was a war
that i fought 
against my own will 

i’ve made it this far
i still don’t know how
i swam through the tears

I can’t tell if I’m still here
I can’t tell if I’m still here
I can’t tell if I’m still here
I can’t tell if I’m still here

i pinch myself 
i can’t if i’m real 
but this is not a dream
this is not a drill

i dissociate 
get distracted by my fears
i guzzle down my nightmares
keep my enemies near 

looking out the window 
car rides and a few beers
i think i’m seeing angels 
and they urge me to steer

I can’t tell if I’m still here
I can’t tell if I’m still here
I can’t tell if I’m still here
I can’t tell if I’m still here

i can't tell if i'm still here (Demo)

every villain has an origin story 💜 🐙

Latest Updates: 
Over 1800 Tracks now on my channel, making music on here since 2015.
Have been remastering some of my 'unloved' tracks from the past here on SC - music which has not received as many plays as I would have expected. Maybe 2nd time around your might like it.
The 2025 remastered tracks are being readied for my best of 2025 album in 2026, available January 2026.
I do not use AI on any of my work, just blood sweat and tears, and a lot of emotion/feelings. The reason I have so much music on SC is that I love making music and it is my life. Also I love to share my work with you all, please enjoy.
Have recently discovered some old tracks which I did back in 2009 but have never been previously released or worked on further. Decided to let them see the light of day, unedited and unpolished. Hope you enjoy them and can see where my humble beginnings started.
Also new for Autumn 2025, a collection of classical piano pieces which I composed back in 2010, in memory of my late father who inspired me to play the keyboard in the first place. Under the title of Magician In Private, hope you will allow my indulgence into a special world of just simple piano, no frills.
Please checkout my vast collection of playlists. All my best music is on there in one place. Is free to listen to or sleep with.
From 1st June 2025, celebrating 10 years of KORG KRONOS music with lots of brand new music showcasing the wonders of this iconic workstation in all it's glory. Also as a nod to the release of the KRONOS 3, which will take KORG into the next generation.
All my albums in full quality are available on Bandcamp, please check out the link below.
Have recently taken a short holiday to recharge my batteries and top up my creative juices. Thank you to all my followers for your continued support and encouragement, means the world to me.
Over 10K minutes uploaded, over 1500 tracks - am sure there is something in there for everybody to enjoy. I love making music. Hope it matters to you.
Am posting some Jarre sounding pieces as homage to my lifelong hero of electronic music, using some of the sounds and instruments he has used along the way. Jar of Jarre is my collection of memorable sounds which have changed the way we appreciate modern electro.
Keep an eye out for my new collection of 2024 Remastered best of tracks, coming soon.
New year, new start. Back on the search for good music and inspiration. Will be featuring a lot of my older work remastered this year, seems like a long time since I began my composing journey back in 2000.
Happy New Year to all my followers, May 2025 be filled with musical magic. 
Thank you for all your kind comments and support throughout 2024 I do appreciate it. Stay safe and love each other.
All my remastered best tunes from 2015 to 2023 are now available to buy on Bandcamp.
Am back to making regular music now but sorry no Christmas songs this year. This time of year is very hard for me as it is when my father became very ill and died in the new year 2010. I still miss him very much but hope he would be proud of my musical journey, he is my number one inspiration.
Just a quick personal note on AI and music. I think it is not a good thing for the creative side of music and a lot of it comes without feelings or soul. Creativity is a gift, and should be greatly valued, cherished and nurtured. Music is what makes us human and can never be replaced by a computer.
Finished remastering up to and including 2023 now. Has been a mammoth task but well worth the effort. Next year I shall be working on a remastered series of my pre KORG days 2000 to 2008, in 8 volumes, as well as celebrating in style my 10 years of KRONOS magic, can't wait for 2025.
Have now amassed over 1000 tracks on SC (that's over 8000 minutes of music) and it has been a blast sharing them with you all. Next year 2025, marks the 10th anniversary of the start of my KORG journey.
Am currently putting together a remastered Anthology collection of all my best tracks from 2015 onwards. 2015 consists of a 3 volume set (Now available on Bandcamp). 2016 consists of a 4 volume set. (Also available on Bandcamp). 2017 consists of a 4 volume set. (Available on Bandcamp) 2018 consists of a 4 volume set. (Also available on Bandcamp). 2019 consists of a 4 volume set. (Now available on Bandcamp). 2020 consists of a 3 volume set (now available on Bandcamp).
If you would like to listen to more of Magician, especially retro older tracks please checkout Bandcamp (see link below).
Have recently been rediscovering some of my older music pre KORG days and remastering for uploading to my cloud. Hope you like. Seems such a long time ago now.
I have been lucky to have music in my life, and now the time to explore how it can affect other people. I have discovered many new talented artists on SC and am happy to encourage and support their work; from small beginnings come great things. Please be inspired to be your best, inspire others too, encourage those who lack the inner courage to move forward, and together we can make music make a difference in all our lives.
Am spending a lot more time on my music now since retiring from work in July 2020. Always learning new techniques and honing my craft. Am comfortable now with all chord sequences throughout the scales and loving improvising with the help of my mighty KORG still. Am still trying to give my full support and encouragement to all SC users and some latest (you know who you are), are developing nicely. Be good to one another, be gracious to others, leave your ego out of your life and above all else remember there is always someone worse off than yourself. 
Please be kind to each other, to be happy with our lot without jealousy or greed; to give without asking the cost; to love as if there is no tomorrow; to share and inspire others who may be less fortunate than us; most of all to enjoy life for the joy of living, for we know not what the morning brings - stay safe my friends, be strong and always stay positive; remember life changes - DON'T let it change you!!  
Music is my life - has helped me through many dark places, is a big part of who I am. I put my heart and soul into every single piece of music I produce. I have found many wonderful friends on SC and many exciting talented people.  Been writing and producing music now for 40 years plus. Specialised in electronic based orchestral compositions. I have created my own genre which I call 'electrorchestration'.
Favourite artists/bands include Gary Numan, Little Boots, Jools Holland, Eno, Edgar Froese (1944-2015), Jordan Rudess, Kebu, Madis, Keith Emerson (1944-2016), Rick Wakeman, Richard Wright (1943-2008), Pink Floyd, Tangerine Dream, Vangelis, Jean Michel Jarre, M83, Public Service Broadcasting, Dream Theater, ELP, Yes and Mystery to name but a few.
Click on link below to Bandcamp for more music from my collection

i can't tell if i'm still here (Demo)

ØCTØBER