structered fear

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what i felt in august

havent done this in a while. throwaway 30 min fun time

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FdHo5HJwtfA

beat 001

Nan Que - Toichi
Bleep Bloop - Do It On The Dancefloor (feat. Tennis Rodman)
ORA77K - Fucc Cyber Security!
Wander As Ghosts - Kentro
Renzo Suburbn - Nap2
Shadow Mosez & Mitchell Dolphin - Let Me In
Saskia - Quarta
Miles Knight - Hive
ilan - tetsuo
Aaron Shadrow - Makes Me Feel A Way
Algernon Cornelius - In The Dark
Mash_Sounds - Automated
Gutter Punk - Up2Me
NOMAD - INNOVATIVE, GOD-LIKE (XoSquaDD Remix)
Charlie Thall - Leaving Kitty City
Collin Swayze - Big Swing
Banjo Ulysses - Fate
Andy Morin - STFU (feat. ThankGod4Cody & Starity)

A2B2 Radio Episode 2

The Incarnation of the Postmodern Nomad

in flames feat. drxco

Intro)
Borderline insanity what the hell is happening the world is love or hate devotional or a deep burning hate 
What is happening to me 
I cant stop whats happening to me
I cant feel a thing I feel nothing but something crawl deep down inside me its crawling it screaming it trashing at the 
Frantic efforts to avoid abandonment 
Patterns of behavior unstable intense extremes of idealization devaluation 
Black White 
(Verse 1)
Panicking just woke upset I hate myself
Identity disturbance body Dysphoria 
Gender Dysphoria Female trapped in a male living life in a silent mental hell
Dead self image 
I'm so ugly no one could love me not even myself I just turned my flesh into art work just to move the pain out of my brain
My sense of self is emptiness I want feel loved to feel that I could trust people again tried to buried it all deep inside my head but its splitting open I'm lashing out I scream and cry fucking crash out just to clean it up before the next morning feeling so
impulsive addicted to self harm self damaging relationships 
Spending money like it nothing 
Sex with anyone who said they loved me
Just to be used up and abandoned before I wake in the morning
Substance abuse
Reckless driving 
Binge eating 
Starvation I must eat something 
But I just feel sick think of it swallowing all the bullshit
anorexia hot me so quick
Razor blades stuffed animals stained red wrapped me up in white bandages 
(Chorus)
What wrong with me 
It must be BPD 
It Must be BPD
BpD
It to extreme the emotional turmoil is rotting My self image my sense of self is empty its vacant who am I what am I who was I was i anything 
They say you have
Borderline Personality Disorder 
(Verse 2)
Suicidal day dreams fighting at school got bullied my whole childhood jist because I was different 
Behaviors gestures threats self mutilation
What a disturbing horrorshow when rip out your stitches 
Insomnia Dysphoria 
Irritability 
Anxiety 
Intense 
Chronic feelings of emptiness 
Inappropriate 
Intense 
Internal Anger
Must keep control 
Why do I always feel alone in a ropm full of loved ones
Stress related paranoia ideation 
Are people plotting against 
Does everybody hate me
I hate me I never wanted to be alive living like this
(Chorus)
What wrong with me 
It must be BPD 
It Must be BPD
BpD

BPD 5

Posi witch (Keezy1)

Mamimi

I am rectifying this setlist for all of those who watched my a2b2 setlist and did not get to experience the full power of this audio. My internet going out was not very strong I'm guessing that is why the sound was getting messed up. Enjoy. Special thanks to all of those at a2b2. The planners, organizers, and artists. Everyone who has helped me along this process. Ren Leguisamo and Andre Betts for streaming with me.

Setlist:

Experiment 101
Womb 9
Reanimation
z02


When I feel the heartache I sleep more 
My heads a ball of lead 
Collapsing in circuit 
Sleepy 
With the sun and a new way to spiral out 
Tied to a dream like an anvil 
Having a fit to be alive

O.D. Mongrel A2B2 Set

11pm Feat BUULY

The unknown has always been the primordial slime of the imagination