"Starts off quiet, like a pub before opening time—just a lonely kick thudding away like me heart when I see the rent overdue. Then this pad floats in, all mysterious-like, like fog rolling over the bins. There’s three drum tracks in total, mind you—one for each of me bad knees and the ache in me back.

The chords? Don’t get me started. Db Lydian hexawotsit and C jazz minor something-or-other. Fancy names for notes that sound like someone’s dreamin’ in a laundrette. They’re broken into lines and looped for 130 bars straight—like a bloke stuck in a queue at the post office, goin’ nowhere but still movin’.

The pad and bass take turns every 16 bars, like two old mates arguin’ over who’s payin’ for tea. It’s 124 BPM, done in Cakewalk with them Loopcloud gizmos. Not bad for a track made with more patience than talent. Give it a listen, or don’t—I’m not your mother."

Little Leo's Pirate Ship

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