sleeping

break me
i like it when it hurts
abuse me
you always were the first
i can’t be left alone without these thoughts invading me
cause you had broke the trust and now i’m broken inside here
my body won’t repair as long as you’re still in this place
abandon me again cause i don’t wanna see your face 

i’m broken now and torn apart since you had gone and left
when distant memories succumb to hurt we never meant
i wish that i could go back and change the things i said
i’m burdened by the past and now it fuels my lament

hurt me
cause i can take the pain 
don’t lie
the message is the same
cause you had turned your back no matter what i tried to plead
but now you’re coming back, it’s only time until you leave
don’t lie and say you’re sorry cause i know that you’re not
you threw me out the door without a second fucking thought 

i’m broken now and torn apart since you had gone and left
when distant memories succumb to hurt we never meant
i wish that i could go back and change the things i said
i’m burdened by the past and now it fuels my lament

stream!

lament (prod. wisssery x lavendertxwn)

you were terrible

w/ @youngburial
prod biscuitboi

i thought
it was different 
thinking back
i was good for a minute
you were terrible
i'm unbearable
can't forget but i guess
i gotta let you go

it's embarrasing 
i let you break me
you treated me terrible 
i was giving you everything 
i had left
but it's all that i've come to expect
i'm out of memories
you left me in debt

fats'e:
you left me in debt n now i'm
trying to pick myself back up
i know you're not one to talk shit 
so i'll try to bottle it up
i don't know where we went wrong 
n i don't know what to say 
i don't feel inspiration
so i'll just rot away

unbearable (w/ fats'e)

this time it won't fix

https://soundcloud.com/heylog
https://soundcloud.com/imcaves
https://soundcloud.com/irby314

you made me feel nauseous 
i keep getting sick
can't remember where it started 
can't forget all that you did to me
you tasted so bittersweet 
i still see you every time i sleep
i gave you every part of me 
i bet you couldn't tell
i fall in love with narcissists,
don't care about myself
i just go through sedatives
keep fucking up my health 
what's the point of heaven,
i already live in hell

it's not easier 
i'll lie and say it is 
i gave up on getting better 
it's just the way it is
i've been feeling numb ever since i was a kid 
i don't wanna die,
but i don't wanna try and live

i said that i loved you 
(save me)
i gave you the blood from my skin
i tried everything
admit it
it's hard but i did it
you left me too damaged 
this time it won't fix

[heylog]
i'm calling for you 
are you with someone else
the pics on my phone
are nowhere to be found 
would it surprise you 
if i took myself
i might just die here
when no ones around
but i made a choice 
that i regret 
stomp out the house
from what i said
and now it's too late to apologize
fumbled my words,
i guess this is goodbye 

i wish i did better 
thinking all the time 
baby it's whatever
see you in the next life
i'm trying to forget her 
but god it feels impossible
now she's just a number 
floating in my phone
i wish i did better 
thinking all the time 
i don't make any sense
and it makes me wanna cry 
but i look like im stupid
and she say that it's fine 
girl you're pretty funny 
tell another lie

it's not getting easier (w/ heylog) (prod. caves & irby)

i just wanted to write a love song 

prod: https://soundcloud.com/pekarot_161
master: https://soundcloud.com/onlyfriendyeah

heavenly,
i hope you don't mind
formality apology,
i guess it never hurt you to lie
when you took that from me 
i felt nothing 
shaking aside
butchered up the rosary,
i prayed i could die
but you wanted to 
i said i'd be good for you 
shut my mouth for you 
and prayed it'd be over soon

i just wanted to write a love song 
story book ending 
block it all out 
i'm so good at pretending
they said it takes time
but i'm still stuck with the memory

it's probably my fault 
i must've asked for it 
payed for my sins
spilled out blood to the hyms
but i swear i felt heaven when i'm laying with him

i'm fooling myself 
it was never that fun 
it's easy to romanticize 
i fell for that once,
or twice
i'm losing the count of goodbyes
hoping one day i'd be enough in your eyes

where's the love in this 
hate the bruises on my lips
search for betterment 
and comfort in impermanence
you took it out of me 
i gave it all up
cause it's better to feel nothing
than to hurt when it's done

comfort in impermanence (prod. pekarot)

i hope you think of me 

prod: https://soundcloud.com/trplgmni
master: https://soundcloud.com/ripkais

striaght through the bottle 
blacked out
it's nice to not remember
straight through tomorrow 
tapped out 
i think i'll feel it forever
i know i'll do it again 
escape till it ends
i wanna leave it all behind 
i wanna make you proud 
safe and sound 
pray i'll be alright

i just can't take anymore 
i've said that before
there's nothing left of me 
i watched you walk out the door 
va mon amour 
i hope you think of me
(i hope you think of me forever)

i can't do this sober 
(i'm leaking blood all over)
i can't do it at all
come on,
pull me closer
(i'm leaking blood all over)

hear me out 
i'm breaking down 
lost control and i need you now
this is what i've been waiting for,
prove to me that i loved you more
i'm so used to all the bandages 
but i know you couldn't manage it i,
hope you find heaven in him

there's nothing left of me

there's nothing left of me (prod. triple gemini)

i wanna write your favorite song

w/ https://soundcloud.com/vito2300
prod: https://soundcloud.com/jolst

this shit keeps breaking my heart
i can't sleep at all
i wanna write your favorite song
i wanna hear you talk 
just fuck it all 
just cut me off
and i'd do anything 
come close,
don't let me breathe
i need you next to me
hands cold till you make me freeze

vito: 
cuts deep but i'm not afraid of it
your touch for a long time was my form of payment
but i couldn't find the words
after all you're not shit
now i been feeling sick to my stomach,
you left me nauseous
don't call me back 
you'll be better off
need someone to tell me i'm good enough
carry that shit and believe it
look at the way i've been treated 
it's black white like old cartoons 
it's not fair that i lost you
and it's not fair that i'm still here 
and you've got somebody beside you

i wanna give it all up 
i've been thinking heavy
if it hurts it's not love
i don't understand 
cause i'm so used to leaking my blood
hate the way it is
but i can't ever get enough of you
i got myself into a mess
don't think you want me too
didn't mean a thing 
you were here in my room
c'mon cut me through 
rip through a vein or two 
want you to make a move

cut me off (w/ vito) (prod. jolst)

"ily <3" out now 🖤

alternative R&B, midwest emo, rap. 
follow me on all socials <3

@yokai_hub

lament (prod. wisssery x lavendertxwn)

oni boy