black docs and fishnets on
they'd kill to look like u and
i'm not so self-assured
i just wanna go home
ur set to stun
and every mfer finna try it on
ur set in stone
and i look like trash when i'm standing next to you

you command the room just like you do
you command the room just like i don't

now it's makin me nauseous
why u wanna b here
with a jaded bastard?
click click boom
chka-chk-boom
if looks could kill
then you'd do better than a shotgun shell
kill kill, kill kill me now
you'd do better than a shotgun

it's just a matter of time until you clear your mind
and realise, you'll realise it
it's just a matter of time until you clear your mind
and realise i'm trash compared to you

buckshot boy [prod. yungspoiler]

produced by heylog
enjoy

lyrics:
as usual i manage to breakdown
don't bother me i enjoy no sound
can't talk to ppl and i know i should
the nerves i build up come out me like a flood
i expect a better me to finally come my way
but the hope i'm losing is drifting away
i forgot that u were mine and that u exist
and that's a good thing
i'm making progress
i hold a whole heart
i gotta use it wise
i cancel all my plans
cus i changed my mind
she smell like lavender
and i think i'm in love
wait hold on a min
can we take a pause
i needa overthink
when i talk to you
it's not on purpose
now u know the truth
i told u everything
n all my secrets
and now it feels wrong
and i know i'm screwed
i look in your eyes it's like looking in an abyss
thanks for your time i learned a lot from it
i'm different now, done with u, you know what i quit
i'm leaving now, don't care to be part of this
YOU SAID SHE WAS A WHORE
WELL MAYBE UR THE HOE
ABSCONDING EVERY GIRL
IS THIS WHERE I GROW
COULDN'T ASK FOR MORE
I'LL BREAK EVERY BONE
NOW DUDES CARE FOR ME
BUT I ONLY GOT 1 BRO

𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘢𝘯
𝘸𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘶𝘱

𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨

spotify

lavender

w @heylog
produced by sleepwater and leftquiet

lyrics:
ive been to heaven hell and she wanted it
she wanna ham my neck till im on it
switching positions i feel like im in night time
i don't feel the sun no more i dont like sunshine
quicker my heart declines
more that i find myself
shut my windows and blinds
more that i hate myself
i dislike everything
but dislike you the most
my lifes full of sin
cos i dont know where to go

stood outside im seeing flies
im outside you know my time
wait for this im on a climb
fuck my psyche its pain until i die
gaining more likes am i doing something right
its gone up in spikes have i gone up in my life
maybe you should listen to me once in a while
surely you would be different if you werent in denial
EVERY THOUGHT SHES EVER HAD STARTS TO FUCKING PILE
OH I WISH I NEVER HAD SHES FUCKING VILE
depression getting really bad you can crack a smile
you can barely leave your bed stop acting like a child
how did you get rid of your sweat did you run it off
do something w ur life and make it worthwile

heylog:
she's so psychotic, i knew when i saw
speaking so toxic ur just like ur mom
everything i do she gets really pissed
so why does it feel like it's always my fault
god ur chaotic, quit starting a fight
i ain't one to argue, it's a waste of time
she purposely trying to spark up a flame
and now all of this is getting out of line
oh baby
ur so cold
ur making this easy
give more
oh baby
we're off course
she said she want more she said she want more
innocence
don't exist
she'll find ways to get your head
she's offended again
exaggerate things i say
oh my dear
you're in fear
block it out with a few beers
everyone she's ever cursed is in a pile
everyone she's ever hurt calls her vile
and everyone she's done the worst gets away
am i the only one who's learned from her pain
now the whole place burnt down
and i can see it in her eyes she's happy
i hope you know u look like a clown
cus only you would act a little trashy

𝘴𝘭𝘦𝘦𝘱𝘺 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨

pile w/heylog

produced by heylog

lyrics:
we went through a lot of ups and downs
yet you still stayed close to my side
we often dug straight to the ground
you don't know what i look like now
just a number in my phone
i'll love you the most
march is a horrible month
why's it always cold
spent the end to cry
i miss you every night
don't call me when you see this
i'll hit decline
i don't look the same
as i used to
is this a bad thing
log, i don't know you
i don't look the same
like before
and i don't recognize myself
anymore

2 weeks 'till i go home
can't wait to see you, oh
october is when you go
now things are coming to
an end

she'll only love me if i just love myself
but baby with you i felt things i don't feel
i couldn't imagine to feel someone else
the thought of it always gets me overwhelmed
i hate separating from people i love
but i go forever without anyone
i will go for days and not say any words
you won't hear from me cause i sit back and lurk
closing the drapes to block out any light
the things that i do i would never advise
it's so bad for me and hm, i wonder why
growing more acne and i'm not surprised
don't look at me, please don't look at my face
the way that you stare makes me humiliate
i swear i get uglier
i don't look the same
you won't recognize me by how much i've changed
changed

update failed

produced by sleepwater & leftquiet
mixed and mastered  by sleepwater

if you dont love me
you wont see this
if you dont wanna love me
you dont wanna see this
how after all
how have i become
who, who

removing myself from everything
show you the world
cos your everything
cos your everything

that i need
so please
want me
cos your everything
i need
i need

she made me wanna die and i dont know why
i cant see the light i got the tunnel vision
reapers getting life call it double time
i dont think ill be able to stand here
dont want my personalities meeting
drowning thoughts seem to be sinking

cos your everything
cos your everything
cos your everything
i neeed

you gotta bottle it up
you gotta pack that in 
i wanna flood the gates
she betta celebrate it
so where would be the line
if i ever wanted to cross it
never felt right
when i tried
to love you
you
help

please

fisheye

b-side released for niztopia's charity stream to benefit palestine children's relief fund.

whats so great about rapidly descending
got me stressing out just waiting on the ending
im hella rational but i cant stop the feelings
just tryna get over u 
theres cigarette burns on my skin
i cant deal with tht mindset you're in
falling in love was the dumbest. i've sinned
cause falling never sounded like a great idea
crushed in space, black holes in ur eyes spin me out

produced by yungspoiler
additional prod by onlyfriend

hi niz what u doin this weekend [prod. yungspoiler]

'paranoid' produced by heylog

lyrics:
we go and hike in the woods
what a perfect place to be
all my troubles behind
no sign of reality
i could live here and build
a shelter out of trees
say goodbye to the world
no electricity
the way the sun hits the water
i swear i see god himself
i feel shame, i feel hurt
it's like i'm somebody else
i try to hide but it's not
gonna help or save me
cover up all the shame
like adam and eve

i intimidate her
i think she's scared of me
cause your biggest fear is that i'll leave
and then you'll carry on
like nothing happened
and then you'll think about me one night and leech in
why don't you try me
i'm always hiding
i'm like a needle in a haystack, u won't find me
my teeth, i'm grinding
feel like i'm flying
i told you once, i'll say again you'll never find me

hanging out down by the creek
couple deer following me
if i stop to look at them they just stand there as if they freeze
why haven't they ran away?
figured they wouldn't have stayed
hear some branches crack behind now i'm paranoid of this place
look to my left and my right
check my shoulder one more time
maybe i'm a schizophrenic, i be fearing for my life
you hear that, you hear the tones?
i'm convinced i'm not alone
maybe i'll go deeper in the forest to find out if i'm pyscho

we go and hike in the woods
what a perfect place to be
all my troubles behind
no sign of reality
i could live here and build
a shelter out of trees
say goodbye to the world
no electricity
the way the sun hits the water
i swear i see god himself
i feel shame, i feel hurt
it's like i'm somebody else
i try to hide but it's not
gonna help or save me
cover up all the shame
like adam and eve

paranoid

get da checc (Ft. Osamason)

when you speak my heart begins to sink
i know you need some space and time to think
yea i respect that, but

i don't wanna wait for you to bail and let me down
i don't gotta wait for you to figure your sh!t out
i don't gotta wait around for nothing, no one, nobody but me
cus i got my dynasty to keep
yeah i got a legacy to leave

so get rekt

there's only so much time for you and i
no one's getting any younger
such a superficial state of mind
cus i could die tonight

or one of us could be hit by a bus or a truck
simply struck by plain bad luck, god forbid
it's morbid, sordid, fascinating
fragile bodies overrated
when i had that aneurysm
it left no room for pessimism
it's time to play or fuck the system
cus i could fuck anyone else

get rekt [prod. sorrowbringer]

co-codependency
you take the best of me
i'm so hung up on u..

co-codependency
you took the best of me
i'm so hung up on you
always scared that we be falling thru
can you be alone for five more minutes before blowin up my phone?

so it's an issue of trust
everybody's drunk with lust
we all want security
but cheat with impunity
is my commute to work now subject to scrutiny?
goddamn better stage a mutiny

so don't get me wrong, i wanna be with u
'yeah, right' then all hell breaks loose

can you be alone for five more minutes before blowin up my phone?
cus i'm fraying and stressing and twisting my stomach in knots

[produced by yung spoiler]
[art by onlyfriend]

coco dependency [prod. yungspoiler]

onlyfriend