Masters of music 🎶  mad reapect 🙏 please keep it up.Qld rep

Simulate

Mixed Ape

Drones

Stonk is the enforcer of the Death Monster Super Squad, and the first line of offence against panty-pissing superheroes.

A sweet boy, born and raised in Bonnie Doon, he was the runt of the litter, and suffered from a rare glandular condition which made him sweat profusely from his eyeballs. Nicknamed 'cry baby stinky bum face' (the children of Bonnie Doon aren't known for their creativity), he swore one day he would have his revenge. 

On the day of his 18th birthday, he packed a handkerchief around a stick, said goodbye to his loving parents Ken and Pamela, breathed in the serenity one last time, and enrolled in the 'Dolf Lundgren less talkie-talkie more killie-killie Program' in Russia.

After a 32 second montage Stonk finished the program, and returned home weighing 2000 tonne, standing over 4 stories tall, and looking like a condom full of walnuts. Vengence was swift and uncompromising, as he stumbled upon his childhood bullies out the back of a Macca's carpark. He crushed their skulls into a fine powder, and made cordial from their bones, selling it on the corner for 5c a cup. He made a killing.

Stonk isnt the sharpest crayon in the shed, but what he lacks in intelligence, he makes up for in stupidity. From time to time he still suffers from his glandular condition, but the one advantage is that he can watch the ending of 'The Notebook' without being judged.

With an unquenchable thirst for mayhem, destruction and Ovaltine, Stonk is the bringer of doom, the maker of widows, and the big gun of the squad. When the gloves come off and shit hits the fan, there's only one name you need remember.. Stonk.

STONK

Harry ‘Make the Call’ Manhattan is a master manipulator, and leader of the Death Monster Super Squad. A sociopath by nature and a criminal since birth; as an infant he convinced his own mother that she was a pear, and the only cure was to listen to George Michael’s Greatest Hits on repeat. This led to her untimely death, and only 2 months later his father was admitted to Sir Joey-Ross Chandler’s Hospital for the Psychiatrically Less-Endowed, where he would spend the rest of his life throwing his own poo at doctors.

By the time he was a teenager, ‘Make the Call’ was in Alaska selling ice to Eskimos. This led to an extreme methamphetamine problem in the Arctic Circle, and after an 8 year manhunt, he was eventually arrested and expedited to his home-town of Dubbo, NSW. After spending precisely 13 seconds in prison, he managed to escape, and has been wanted by authorities ever since.

A highly revered and feared mobster in the criminal underworld, it is said that if you hear the faint whistle of ‘Careless Whisper’ on the wind, Harry ‘Make the Call’ Manhattan is near, and your time is up.

Make The Call

The Spider and the Fly are the eyes and ears of the Death Monster Super Squad. Spider was a prodigious child. Being the youngest of 6892 children, he learned to read at the age of 6 minutes, nourishing his body with knowledge. This was his only chance of survival as his mother's tiny insect teets were all but sucked dry by his older siblings. With an unparalleled ability to read 8 books at once, his mind devoured entire libraries in mere days. Having read every word put to paper, he was inducted into the Arachnis Deathicus Hall of Fame, and is regarded as the greatest evil mind of the insect world. 

He first met the Fly whilst on the hunt for his favourite treat, juicy little maggots. Upon finding a nest of fly fetuses, he gently placed a silk napkin on his lap and pulled out his shiniest  silverware. The Fly got down on six knees and pleaded with Spider for mercy, saying "Take my life, but please spare my little maggot children". The spider was touched by the fly's courage, and knew this insect had the heart of a bear, and thus spared his life. He still ate the maggots though, as it was his favourite treat... as stated above.

The Fly was heartbroken, so Spider took him out for a wild night on the town, letting him swim in a glass of chardonnay,  and even paid for the company of some high-class dragonflies. Realising how good a life of evil can be, the fly thanked Spider for murdering his offspring, and they've been inseparable ever since.

With the Fly's ability to infiltrate any secure compound,  and Spider's superior intellect, they are the ultimate team in surveillance and strategy, making them an integral part of the squad.

Simulate

Osaka Punch

Recent comments

TekTraK

Related tracks