prod. mixed, and mastered by me 
shoutout @prodbyaustyn for the co-prod on this one :)
also @t3rmes for the songwriting on the hook when my brain hurted <3

---------------

20 now, this isn't how 
i thought it would work out 
breaking vows, might take a bow 
because i'm tired of feeling down 
put all my anger into a microphone 
it's no ones fault but my own please just let me be alone 
all my friends they were plastic, and i'm was silicone 
fit into molds, now watch me grow 
i won't see it through, to twenty two 
i thought i had nothing to lose 
maybe views, or my muse 
i hope these thoughts i have the chance to defuse 
buts it's looking that i might just have to give it up 
stay at the bottom while all my friends, they live it up 
i've got potential i guess i just gotta pick it up 
im getting up, i've had enough

falling out of touch with who i am 
revolving, my mind a door, it's turning 
am i deserving? 
stalling all the opportunities at hand 
to hear them applauding, is all that i want, but i'm so exhausted 

i've been so exhausted 
i feel like a hostage
in my brain, i've lost it, 
wilt away watch my friends all blossom
sun don't shine, upon me 
petals they're all falling 
in my head, it's daunting, 
being left behind in the dawning 

the sun never gon shine when i'm stuck all alone 
the stars won't align, when i'm left in the cold
the thought are benign, but they're taking a toll 
the sun never gon shine when i'm stuck all alone 
the stars won't align, when i'm left in the cold
a flower dead in the night, out of sight, decomposed

rumination

zinnia

prod me<3
@byjaimejaime
OUT NOW ON ALL PLATS

werewolf (w/ jaime jaime)

made this to vent bout my life. just know ur not alone <3

just a kid with a laptop
like to scream into a mic when the lights off
where did that kid go
cause i’m 18 years and i’ve never felt so alone
in my home

i was 14 with a big dream
with these thoughts in my head and my fingers on a string

what does it mean
to be alive to pass the time
hide my face inside my pillows while i cry to be online 

i was 16 with the love of my life 
but he lives on my phone only talks at night

and i wanted love from someone else
cause i’m young and dumb and i hate myself and it sucks

what does it mean
to be alive to pass the time
hide my face inside my pillows while i cry to be online

to be alive to pass the time
hide my face inside my pillows while i cry to be online

online

faded (litothedon + tgwog + rioleyva)

Prod by mcx
Lyrics:
Dont use me like you did
That was really cruel of you
Dont tell me who  i am
i just blast my brains out
I wipe the tears off my face and watch me decay
im not feeling great.
Your not my friend i watched you change ways 
i text you right back, you take a couple days.

I dont get sleep you know that im tired
I take my feelings and throw them in the fire
she said im dead, heavy weights on my chest
and im crying in my bed
Ill see you soon while im rotting on the floor
Life is tough im not here anymore

And im trying its fine i promise you
how could i forget
and everything reminds me of you
until you went and end it all
please dont bring it up again
your brain is leaking Adderall
i thought you were my friend
i feel so lost who do i call
please tell me why your so cold.
i guess thats that

take it back you made me laugh thats a mistake
you behind my back, you stab my back and you switch ways
thats not fair to me, then again what was fair in the first place
Ill see you soon while im rotting on the floor
life is tough im not hear anymore

I fell so broke
had to let you go
im falling through the snow
you try to break me but all you do is ache me
i feel so broke
had to let you go
im falling through the snow
i dont wanna go

I dont get sleep you know that im tired
I take my feelings and throw them in the fire
she said im dead, heavy weights on my chest
and im crying in my bed
Ill see you soon while im rotting on the floor
Life is tough im not here anymore

Ill See You Soon

me and simon have once did it again 
shoutout goat @simonpopdiva ily<33

-
i broke the pattern but i didnt know the loop would repeat
i cant remember anything but it still bothers me 
no truth to set us free
it was nice spending time with you but i wasnt me 
but youre not2blame
youre not2blame

i think ill start this fire on my own
i dont need ur help ive been all alone
and i just didnt even need to ask for a hand
ive spent the past few months working on one big plan

understand my pain
amphetamines
theyre not good4me
and i hope you see x2

understand my pain
￼
theyre not good4me
and i hope you see

not2blame (simon)

Target (prod. playasoulja )

I love it w @hereisalden
Sneaky Lil Sc exc

Love It w/aldn

She just wanna kiss n touch 
she wanna get that physical touch
https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/ydkm/kiss-n-touch

Kiss N Touch (billsburyjoeboi arey ydkm)

fuck your purpose

someone save me
i think that i've lost my way
the sunlight's fading
no one's saving me today
the sky is turning black
i might just
have a fucking heart attack, oh yeah

i think it's time i get some rest
i'll lay with the sunflowers
cause they know best
and they wont ask why
or the when and how
just the here and now
is the only thing that matters
so keep me breathing and keep me alive
this shit happened once,
now i'm terrified

all my friends are flawless while i'm
riddled with imperfection
won't you let me make a new first impression
i promise that i've learned my lesson

not2blame (simon)

pahtrk