quit (torno + eera)

made it out of nothing 
i was nothing 
i was hungry 
i was ravenous
i remember counting crumpled singles 
in the tunnel 
30 40 50 i thought i was rich
ever since back then
been on the same tip 
but nobody cared
all i had was s r z & s 
still the same as i ever was 
the only difference is
jeans so tight and the bands dont fit 

jeans so tight that the bands dont fit
i remember living  on the couch 
i couldn’t pay the rent 
derek made the call 
he said to come and get a check 
it took a bit a time
nows perfect timing to flex 
perfect time to flex 
in my own lane imma vet 
took about a decade
just to get to where i’m at
now when i look back
all i see are silhouettes
i’m dancing with the shadows
of my future and my past

jeanz so tight (prod. fantasy camp)

0x75

i want special treatment cuz i’m famous
but no one here even knows what my name is
at the goodwill nicotine cravings
in a cold sweat i drank too much kratom

basket full of red tags killer savings
lush ice vapor on me like a fragrance
i don’t need nobody I just blue faces
androgynous i feel like the replacements

my life a novel not a movie
frozen cherries in my smoothie
in my own lane 
speeding while theyre cruising
i stay in the garden 
writing poems musing
why would they hate
it’s so confusing
i think they wish that they were doing what i’m doing
im a warlock sleight of hand i’m using
made it happen for myself while they were snoozing

if you can’t see me you need lasik 
run to the money like some asics
jolst on the beat you know I had to lace it
used to hate myself but I learned to embrace it

FAMOU$ (prod. jolst)

gotta tattoo of a heart
but i made it too dark
now it’s just a blurry shape
it’s like life that way
every time i take an L 
Swear to god it gives me strength
only really start to feel
when i really feel the pain

Really feel the pain really feel the pain
I keep believing waiting on my luck to change
No matter what it seems Im stuck in second place  
my eyes are cloudy but i never let it rain
tired of the bad times 
Looking for better dayz
shout out to brody
making the guitar sing
Im at peace when im alone
Just me and my melodies
Every cut turns to a poem
Watch these scars grow wings

tattoo of a heart ft. jesse (prod. fantasy camp x brody)

not for long but overdue
patiently i watch the moon
you’re all that i’ve got to lose
praying that you come home soon
it’s begin to wonder who
you’ve become and grown into
pedals fall spring’s calling you
praying that you come home soon

moonlight meditation
incense smoke in levitating
my hearts only reason
is your light step footfall
come to take me over
your wings around like closure
kissing you all over
until the morning comes

come home soon

i long to be at ease 
anywhere at all
i replay scenes of days that have long gone
i can’t enjoy anything without a 

caveat all day
in recovery
lately
color start to fade
vanish into nothing 
don’t know what to say
got a distance gaze 
hazy
thoughts of my escape
i’m so tired of running

another part to play
wanna hide my face 
away
wanna rearrange
the pain that i’ve been suffering
dark cabaret
it’s a murder mystery
when the curtain closed
i dreamt up the whole thing

Fever dreams 
Come to taunt me
When I can’t see through 
Cover of clouds & lighting 
While the sky is darkening 
Thunder rattles my presence
& brings back  moments
I wish so bad to forget 
Is this never-ending?

caveat (prod. jolst x punk)

wake up in the low light
heart is beating out my chest
drowning in a sea of liquor
without a life vest
something takes control of me
at night i get possessed
the devil’s real 
got an abv of 40%
i keep hearing voices
i think that the veil is thin
everytime i black out
i fear that i’ll let them in
i’ve been so disracted by the state of everything
i’m never where i’m at
feels like i’m living in a dream  

my thoughts
are foggy like a ship
like a magic trick
all my happiness vanished
bad times baby 
it’s a bad trip
like a magic trick
all my happiness vanished
i do what i can baby i do what can
time just keeps on turning
falling like a grain of a sand 
i do what i can baby i do what i can
hope i can make it out 
back at the bottom again

just like dylan said
i was so much older then
im younger than that now 
living like a hooligan
it’s like every song could save my life if i keep doing it
but this addiction always threatens to ruin it
i forgive you mama i swear that i understand
i see so much of myself in you when things get out of hand
we carry the same pain it’s impossible to bear
why not reach towards the amber light
when there’s darkness everywhere

magic trick (prod. thislandis)

open up the notebook
get my thoughts out
there’s angels speaking through me 
i got wings now
let it go white flag up 
on the come down
surrender to it 
in a field of wild flowers 

wild flowers 
dark skies
been forever and a minute since ive seen the sunshine
hard times 
roll on
i been faded for so long
i feel like james bond
ashtrays
smoke rings 
crush the embers of my past 
with my steel toe wolverines
i cant get the scene out 
of my memory
so i mix the tanqueray with gasoline

when you get to that point it’s unbelievable 
it’s impossible to save
& it dont matter how hard you try to fight back 
the war’s been lost already
don’t got a time a machine
what was once was whole’s a broken piece
i lost control of my psyche

this saga sucks but now its a part of my history
i know it sounds ridiculous to say it feels like the end of me
i carry on with something lost that will never be retrieved
its hard enough just to be okay
all i want is to be happy

WILDFLOWERS (prod. taylor morgan x jolst)

denim trench coat

i used to busk out the tunnel for quarters...

FAMOU$ (prod. jolst)

paper rose haiku

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