official music video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-48_1Q8rXfY

horns written and recorded by @clovehitch in kingston
album mastered by @alexanderpanos in northern illinois

---lyrics---
bubba, wait there for me,
i will find you.
wait there for me

i will find you bubba.

when you left me i was scared pup
i still hear you scratching up my 
vinyl door and running in the yard
it's baren, empty, fucked - cause i still love you 
like the last day that i saw you

now that you're gone,
i can't believe that you are.

i am lost,
i'm sorry I left you again.

they would not allow me to be there for you,
but I'll never leave you again.
i'll never leave you again.
i'll never leave you again.

i'll never leave you.

Bubba

Pre-order Bubba

bubba

damn, it's been a while since i logged on here, sorry about that.

found this one digging through his old hard drive, there's a bunch of songs i want to upload from there at some point. Never even knew he made this until recently though, makes me wonder how much other music of his remained unfinished or lost.

anyway, from the lyrics i can kind of piece together the circumstances being written about here, but i think it would be better kept a personal matter. I will say that it's something me and him both had to deal with, and it was probably significantly harder on him. That kid went through an amount of hardship that would break most people.

come to think of it 2011 was just a bad year in general for us. Mom was really struggling to make ends meet, dad's health was getting worse, and we'd basically been forced to sell the couple acres that our grandpa gave us in his will. Good news though was our older sister had moved back from out of state, so she was supporting us in any way she could.

Zion had also lost a close friend that year unfortunately. Everyone had said it was a vehicle accident, but i learned later he'd been fucking around with inhalants, and that was that. Can't even imagine how hard it must've been on his parents. Sadder part is it wasn't even that uncommon, around that area at least. Even the most unassuming blue collar neighborhoods can be hiding really deplorable shit. I do hope that wherever Zion is now though, he has better friends. Because he deserved them.

i saw a seraph on the street today. he was laughing and crying, cause nobody knew his name

i saw the devil on the promenade. bundled in flagstone, writing checks that I can’t pay

and I’m watching the couples huddle up
and I wonder how much is not enough
but if you’d answer that question for me baby
i might not wonder if I’ll ever be loved

carriage, brim your bones

i saw my father on the news today. he was tracing his prayer beads, as the red and blue took him away

bevel the whipsaw for the cavalcade. I’m eating your bullets, with a spoon made out of clay

and I am a lamb wrapped up in thermogen. shear off all the stope you take

keep her there, failing throne

and I’m watching the couples huddle up
and I wonder how much is not enough
but if you’d answer that question for me baby
i might not wonder if I’ll ever be loved

i know you're starting to get scared of me
the more i try, the worse it gets
and i can't stand the way they stare at me
but i'll try to live with my regrets

flagstone𐂂𐂂𐂂nov2011.wav

scrapped xf chiba demo (alot of the sounds in here are from that)

honor_7/6/24.wav

New Hope, Chapter VI - Hush

Date of recording (1.9.24)

New Hope

Hush

New Hope, Chapter V - running through the park yea i'm runnin runnin runnin runnin runnin runnin runnin runnin runnin runnin
Recorded 12.13.23

no doubt, no doubt, no doubt, no doubt, no doubt
running through the park
running through the park yea i'm runnin runnin runnin runnin runnin runnin
running through the park yea i'm runnin runnin runnin runnin runnin runnin
running through the park yea i'm runnin runnin runnin runnin runnin runnin home
running through the park yea i'm runnin runnin runnin runnin runnin runnin
yeah
home
what is this?
what is this?
(runnin runnin runnin runnin runnin runnin)
about me
about me
about me
cause i'm running through the park yea i'm runnin runnin runnin runnin runnin runnin
runnin runnin runnin runnin runnin runnin
oh i'm runnin runnin runnin runnin runnin runnin through the park
yea im runnin home
runnin through the park yea i'm runnin home

running through the park, yea im runnin runnin runnin runnin runnin runnin runnin runnin runnin

New Hope, Chapter II - Red Spell

spells, we were talking bout spells
oh well, we were talking bout spells
hell, don't talk about hell
oh well, we were talking bout hell

now I see the difference don't you need me to rest
I swear my intuition tells me nothin' but the best
oh I need a good c---
so take your intuition, get your fuckin' inhibition out your mind
I don't need nobody here to see me whine
I'm crying, don't you see that I was only so depressed cause the best of the people that I had in my mind
oh why?

baby this is full regeneration, not the way I ride
I'm swimmin' no regrets and babe I only see the sky
I'm wonderin' bout the
woah, nah nah nah nah nah nah nah nah standin' in the way

~

New Hope, Chapter III - Blue Spell

this isn't what it seems baby
I'm in a dream, and I'm doing fine
still running from the love that keeps me afraid
still loving how your hair looks when it's in a braid
fell for you when the moon hit the ground and I said "oh"
still waiting for the day to come when you say no
yeah

~

New Hope, Chapter IV - Green Spell

don't you believe?
don't you believe?
don't you we'll be fine, love

this isn't what it seems baby
I'm in a dream, and I'm doing fine
still running from the love that keeps me afraid
still loving how your hair looks when it's in a braid
fell for you when the moon hit the ground and I said "oh"

fell for you when the moon hit the ground and I said "oh"
I'm still waiting for the day that you say you can let me go
I don't wait for the ways that you say "you can let me know"

don't you believe?
don't you believe?
don't you we'll be fine, love

subliminal the way that you would let me go
and the radio is running the show
I care for you I do, I do
but I only have so much for you
and I can't use all my spells


Recorded 11.7.23

Three Spells (Red Spell, Blue Spell, Green Spell)

mastered by Aden Howell (@liquidaden)
mv: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PEnmHlSJ5gg

This place? (It's trying to kill me!)

11/09/24 - 28/03/25
2/11

Want2 is sorta about being queer and wanting to be straight, or normal, but just knowing that you can't. Maybe it relates to Wind with the theme of not really liking who you are but still accepting it. It's from the perspective of wanting to be with a woman, but knowing that no matter how hard you try it just wouldn't work out, and that kind of awkward aprehensive sort of tone comes from that.

I always wanted to make a garage pop song, and this was like my hundredth attempt haha. Anyway I was just sending some drafts in a groupchat to get some thoughts and Eva seemed to really take to the idea and asked to jump on it. I adore Eva and their work so it was a no brainer and she transformed the track overnight pretty much, completely rearranging it and pretty much laying out a whole song, it was wild. We went from there and eventually got it done!

you can find Eva and her work here!:
https://soundcloud.com/eva-nge-line
https://open.spotify.com/artist/5u2g7SyRhKga7Cf8MUvKsM?si=9yhIDqs3SPaNixKBb3NSbQ
https://twitter.com/evangelinestuff
https://instagram.com/evangelinestuff
https://evangeline.info/

[LYRICS]
(to want)

I want to want you, but I don't.
And I need to tell you, but I won't

And if I tell you what I want
would you take it down to heart?
If I tell you what I want?

'cuz I want
I want

'cuz I want to want you
And I know, you just wanna be alone sometimes, you just wanna be alone
but I don't wanna be alone (sometimes)
(sometimes)

But I don't wanna be alone
If I'm forward, backward, reverse it down alone
lah lah bah bah dah dah dah

I wish I never met you in the first place
I know, you wish you never met me in the first place
I don't know what I want, what I want

Want2 (w/Evangeline)

this is basically my life, specifically late July 2023 til September 2023, put into songs. this is me


originally released September 25, 2023

Shout out to Whisper of the Heart for being the best example of being a creative in all of media, shout out to Yoshifumi Kondō for your brilliant mind, shout out to **** ***** and *** **** for making me feel alive and breaking my heart into a million pieces I love you both forever (jk) [also yes ghost girl is about 2 different people :O], shout out to Fred again.. and Jessie Reyez for capturing how I feel about missing somebody better than I did with Jessie (I miss you) and sorry for stealing the vocals I hope you don't notice lol, shout out to the song Blue Sky and Yellow Sunflower by Susumu Yokota for inspiring Let me catch my breath, shout out to vewn for capturing the human condition so perfectly in all your videos and for capturing mental health so perfectly in 'motivational video movie' and in all your work, shout out to Agony by Yung Lean for inspiring one specific detuned piano layer in Mara and for guiding the structure of the track as a whole, shout out to a sermon on the book of Ruth by the pastor at Cornerstone Church in Boston for inspiring one of the lyrics "call me Mara cause God's made life bitter" and for inspiring the title of the song, shout out to Uberduck AI vocals for the vocals on Mara and Null and, shout out to blessings stranded on YouTube for capturing my specific feelings towards life better than anyone else ever has, shout out to flyingfish for making amazing shoegaze and for inspiring the second half of the song, Shout out to my family who I love so much, shout out to the song Dark Blue by User2222 which singlehandedly inspired and shaped this entire EP, and shout out to God (that sounds cringe saying shout out LOL I sound like a youth leader) but it is hard to trust You lately but I still have my faith in none other.

Bandcamp

Pipe dream

END OF THE PAST (NEW LIGHT)

lyrics- 
i just wanted you to notice what i put myself through 
and maybe it’s my fault 
but baby i fall 
i fall right through 

i had a dream 
of a panicked scene 
i finally made my mind up
on the 12th story 

i had a love 
i had wings like a dove 
i paid you visit 
from way up above 

i just wanted you to notice what i put myself through 
and maybe it’s my fault 
but baby i fall 
i fall right through 

i will admit 
that i can’t commit 
her virginity lips 
were never celibate 

i have a scar 
you took it too far 
i was driving home 
hopin i’d crash the car

what i put myself thru

homegrown in pennsylvania
member/cofounder @anythingcouldbehere

running through the park, yea im runnin runnin runnin runnin runnin runnin runnin runnin runnin

patchymate