tiny

jerry’s going out
but i’m not with him
is i the first time 
on his own
or just the first time
i noticed it?
is he struggling
is he trying to be someone else
or am i just caught up
in my own shit?
jerry’s going out
wish i went with him

jerry’s at the church
trying to be a better man
is it the fear of dying young
that makes us feel
like we need this shit?
we’re always struggling
to talk about
the hurt that we feel
and i always walk home
wishing i could
jerry’s going out
wish i went with him

i’ve been trying to hide it
i’ve been trying
to convince myself
it’s not my fault

jerry

i stay up all night
get the nerve to
jump through you
i can say the words
i can phase
until i fall through the floor
it’s still a funeral
feel the burn
of losing years
i can say the words
i can feel a little dead
it’s fine

there’s no one i remember
it doesn’t feel like it’s mine
i don’t know how it ends
but i don’t see how i
get lost in trading myself
for paranoia and shame
won’t give it all away

i still get crossed up
i get lazy
i get bored
why do you say the words?
this shit comes out of your mouth
i fucking hate how you sound

it’s still a funeral
feel the burn
of losing years
i can say the words
i can feel a little dead
it’s fine

there’s no one i remember
it doesn’t feel like it’s mine
i don’t know how it ends
but i don’t see how i
get lost in trading myself
for paranoia and shame
won’t give it all away

i stay up all night
get the nerve to
jump through
i can say the words
i can feel a little dead
it’s fine

i stay up all night
get the nerve to
jump through
i can say the words
i can feel a little dead
it’s fine

jump through you

blue skies 
locked in
my apartment
it’s a shit town
drowned out
by a needle prick
old blood
new cuts
i’m fucked
know what i want to do
just don’t know where to start

want to fight
want to sleep
in the back of the van
want to grow
into death
want to feel like i can
want to live
till it hurts
want to lose all my friends
want to be
who you need
when nobody else can

can’t sleep
scared of
what i’ve been dreaming
feels like
my skin
might be stuck on me
drink up
hide the monster
know who i want to be
just don’t know where to start

triy to be a little more

want to fight
want to sleep
in the back of the van
want to grow
into death
want to feel like i can
want to live
till it hurts
want to lose all my friends
want to be
who you need
when nobody else can

try to be a little more
try to be a little more

want to fight
want to sleep
in the back of the van
want to grow
into death
want to feel like i can
want to live
till it hurts
want to lose all my friends
want to be
who you need
when nobody else can

back of the van feat. VRDA

sit in the backyard
36 acres of trees in the wind
summers in high school
hope i don’t lose them too

where do my hands fit
breaking or building
a life you’d be proud of
when will i see you?
when do we find out why?

i hang my shoes on a tree
and get lost to the earth
if i bend with the sky
will i take it all with me?
is it bad if i want to
forget it all sometimes?
it just gets hard to sleep

older than i thought
i’d ever be
did you ever wonder
if something was wrong with me?

i hang my shoes on a tree
and get lost to the earth
if i bend with the sky
will i take it all with me?
is it bad if i want to
forget it all sometimes?
it just gets hard to sleep

old s10
in your yard
want to drive
take it far
almost crashed
in the pond
never stop
never want 
to forget
you’re just gone
now some guy
mows your lawn
and i’m carrying
all of the shit
i wished i said
before you left
old s10
in your yard
want to drive
take it far
almost crashed
in the pond
never stop
never want 
to forget
you’re just gone
now some guy
mows your lawn
and i’m carrying
all of the shit
i wished i said
before you left

old s10

why’d i spend my time
waiting around for something to happen
when you happened
it’s easy to lose track
when everything’s collapsing
shutter and shake
the window you can’t fit through
the hardest part of changing
is the waste of time
and all i want
is somewhere to start over again

try to measure out
all the days off if something could happen
if you happened
it’s easy to feel stuck
when everything’s corrupted
circle the drain
to feel like it’s all worth it

i’ve been circling around
the point so much
i’m off the ground
floating on the shoulders of
the shit i couldn’t talk about

words won’t make
this go away
sliding back
but i don’t mind it
stuck in the shade
can’t escape

i’ve been circling around
the point so much
i’m off the ground
floating on the shoulders of
the shit i couldn’t talk about
everything is grey
but you’ve got colour
shaking from your mouth
hands spread out
and pointed up
you’re saying to me,
“why don’t you come back down?”

words won’t make
this go away
sliding back
but i don’t mind it
stuck in the shade
can’t escape
words won’t make
this go away
sliding back
but i don’t mind it
stuck in the shade
can’t escape

happen

don’t feel like i’ve got a handle
everyone i lost is so far away
and i don’t know if 
i miss them all
or just wish i was more
seems like i gave you the slip
but i waited my whole life to see
where we all end up
but i’m through the glass
and no ones there for me

don’t feel like i’ve got a handle
everyone i lost is so far away
and i don’t know if 
i miss them all
or just wish i was more
seems like i gave you the slip
but i waited my whole life to see
where we all end up
but i’m through the glass
and no ones there for me

i’m still upset
i’m still obsessed

the slip

where’s the door
for better choices
forced into a room that locks
it sways and bends
it grows it ends
it spits you out
to where you started
where’s the door
for better choices
forced into a room that locks
it sways and bends
it grows it ends
it spits you out
to where you started

you’re changing
into photos
you can’t take
you’re breathing too fast
it’s lonely
the life you
think you’ll waste
you never hit the brakes

WASTED

spit the seeds out the side of my mouth
i’m planting something new
the taste beneath
all the bitter and burnt up
is almost something good
yeah i’ve changed for a living
and i’ve slept till it hurts
i’ve beat on my body
till i’ve felt even worse

there’s nothing wrong
i’m where i want 
(to be now)
it’s been so long
since i’ve been able to see it
i’ll burn it all
every cycle gone
i’ll finally grow
where i belong

stalled
paranoid
barely slip
through the void
(feet through the floor and i)
shake
through the noise
i’m barely awake
and i want to feel home

i feel the stretch
and the tears of my joints
i hold all the life i’ll lose
if all the rot
is the fault of my own heart
i guess the cure is too

there’s nothing wrong
i’m where i want 
(to be now)
it’s been so long
since i’ve been able to see it
i’ll burn it all
every cycle gone
i’ll finally grow
where i belong

stalled
paranoid
barely slip
through the void
(feet through the floor and i)
shake
through the noise
i’m barely awake
and i want to feel home

nothing wrong

just wire me up
so it doesn’t hurt
i’m closing distance
from where you found me
i’m sick of wearing 
marks of my birth
how can you always tell?
i want to know
a place i can’t hide
spill into night
and crawl out the window
what you want to know 
where i want to go
why are you scared
i’m trying to be a little selfish

yeah i’ve been scared of who i am
and i can barely get out of bed

i found the way out
i’ve been gone for a long time
probably fine
i found the way out
to somewhere
i finally recognize

i’m taking back
all of the shits
i never gave
because i don’t recognize 
the person i became
i know the ways i’m changing
make you so afraid
you say it’s selfish
i say
that’s just a bold fucking lie

cause i’m not proud of who i am
but at least this time i understand

i found the way out
i’ve been gone for a long time
probably fine
i found the way out
to somewhere
i finally recognize

selfish feat. Modern Crybaby

i hesitated under pressure
when i left your house
i drove for hours
just to feel like i was
someone else
lift off and float up
to the shoulders of
what’s eating me
are you a family
or just something else to keep me weak?

you make me want to crawl up the walls
sitting in space while i watch you rot

i’m paranoid you’ll find me 
even if i change my face
the hunt is on
the bodies piling up
in grace’s name
walk on and choke up
all the blood
of every future lost
i’ve waited all my life
to feel like something
wasn’t my fault

you make me want to crawl up the walls
sitting in space while i watch you rot
you make me want to crawl up the walls
sit there and watch you rot

i hesitated under pressure
when i left your house
i drove for hours
just to feel like i was
someone else
walk on and choke up
all the blood
of every future lost
i’ve waited all my life
to feel like something
wasn’t my fault

i’ll sit here and watch you rot

tiny

patrick hardy